Chrome Visions
She Was A Sk8er ***, And Still Is Such A Bore
A/N: Hmm, being a super-sernior blows... All of my friends seem like their ghosts, they've all left me behind. Cameron off hanging out with his new dumb punk friends and listening to dumb antifag, dumb black fag, dumb less than suck and dumb dad religion (see, if you alter the name, you make it funny AND MAYBE IT WON'T SUCK AS MUCH ATHATH YOUR FIRENDS FOGOT YOU!!) FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK EVERYTHING! I HATE ALL OF IT! *sits in a corner and cries* And Abby says she's really getting into Steampunk (do they put gears and lace on skateboards, because Victorian stuff and punk don't really mix well) and that she doesn't like Green Day as much anymore. Nooo, she has to listen to fucking Abney Park, who are too popular to be anything good and Captain Robert is just a rip-off of Captain Morgan, he has to be! They sound like oldies that my grandparents listen to. And she heard some weird rap shit on the Steampunk Pandora station called "Dr. Steel" and I was like, you have nothing meaningful to say, you creepy mad scientist. No, literally, all he says is "Back and Forth, back and forth, back forth and side to side" THAT'S NOT EVEN POETIC! Green Day could make fucking fallen angels cry! She thinks I'm too immature, but I'll show her. I'll get a petition to have the group Dr. Steel break up! And then, she'll like Green Day again!
My English teacher is mad because I did my essay on Green Day again. She says that Billie Joe Armstrong has done absolutely nothing for the world, so I can't keep using him as a writing subject. But, she'll never understand, Billie Joe Armstrong has inspired alot of people to find good music and to rock out while thinking deeper about the meanings of the songs. Most music just makes you dance, but Green Day makes your brain dance! And Mike Dirnt has the coolest guitar riffs in the world. And Tre Cool is so fucking COOL! I'm going to be a proud fan and write my essay on the perfection that is Green Day, even if it gets me another detention!
You know, I should have stopped taking my bipolar meds months ago, iFeel fucking fantastic!
But, srlsy, let's get this awesomefest started, Stay motherfucking (Arm)Strong! Live Strong Like ArmStrong!
Avril Lavigne was shocked when I ripped out half her slutty hair. The entire party stopped in it's intense tracks and focused on us. I dug my nails deep into Avril's scalp and began tearing off skin. She was kissing my Billie Joe! She was sleeping with my Billie Joe! SHE WAS GETTING MARRIED TO MY BILLIE JOE! Okay, he wasn't mine, like boyfriend-mine, but he was my best friend and he needed to act like it. Avril shrieked and shoved me away from her. The crowd cheered riotously. My heart felt like there were a million hand-grenade going off at once. It felt like there was sa shiny black razor blade slicing my brain, oh how I wish I could feel the pain dripping from my wrists like smooth red velvet. "Like, what the hell is wrong with you, Heather?!" She screamed, while clutching at her bleeding head. Everyone in the party was either in shock, too drunk to care, too drunk to fuck, or calling the police. But, I'm the prez, I own the police. I'm pretty much the entire law!
That's when Billie Joe stopped puking from doing too many shots and dashed over to save his darling pop-punk princess. His fist slammed into my face like a semi-truck and my vision blurred as I hit the ground. Memories of first meeting Green Day flashed before my eyes. I remembered getting Pandora to dance naked in Gym Class to save Billie Joe's life. I remember walking around my suburbia with him in the rain, talking about all of the things that make our hearts bleed, and I remembered how it was his idea for me to become president. Without Billie Joe, I was nothing. I dno't exist without my other half, my best friend and I hoped in the next life he would be a girl so I could bang the fuck out of her. Even Mike and Tre were null compared to the precipice that is and ever will be, Billie Joe.
Then I felt something warm and soft hitting my face. I heard giggling. So, I looked up and saw a smirking Tre shitting on my stomach. He was wearing a lampshade and his boxers had little hearts on them. He was laughing demonically. No, Tre, you shit on whores, not on the Prez! I was mortified. I was wearing my best Bring Me The Horizon shirt and now it was fucking ruined, AHHH! Then I had an idea on how to win my fight.
So, I scooped up the poo and flung it at Avril's face. It hit direct strike with a SPLAT! Brown chunks were streaming down her face, amplifying her already gruesome look. Now, she was crying. Billie Joe looked at me as if he had never seen me before. Everyone else in the party was doing the same, as if I had a stupid target painted on my forhead. Mournfully, I slumped my shoulders and hurried away from the bar.
A few weeks later, I was forced to attend the never-ever-ever-should-happen-in-the-history-of-the-holy-emo-empire wedding of my lovely Billie Joe and that skank, Avril. Congress knew I needed some better publicity after what happened in the bar, so they held my entire CD collection hostage until I agreed to attend the Wedding and behave myself. But, I don't have issues, everyone else does and they need to get proper help for them. Just like in my real Devon Harlow life, EVERYONE ELSE IS OUT TO FUCKING GET ME BUT I'LL GET THEM FIRST AND EAT THEM WITH GRAVY AND SPRINKLES! YOU'RE ALL GONNA BURN, MOTHERFUCKERS! (especially you, Cameron, fuck you.)
(Oh god, it feels like my brain is sparkling. I feel so goddamn weird, it's marvelous. I wanna punch someone in the face right now, ya know, IN THA FACE MWUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHHA)
No, i cannot tell my parents, no they can't know i'm off my meds again, ohhhh! fuck! BUT I WANNNA SHOUT TO THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD THAT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE AND THAT THEY WILL NEVER BRING ME DOWN AGAIN, YEAH!
But anywayz, back to the story!
Bizzy D volunteered to be my plus one, and with his sparkling blue eyes, I was in heaven. He seemed a little shy on me after I shamed his dumb ex-wife, as if he had a little bit of a crush on ugly old me. I was flatter,ed, but I told him "not hetero, not ever" and he seemed to accept it just fine. Tre was doing bungee jumps off the niagra falls after I bought it and had it placed in the backyard of the Black House. It was nice being prez and being able to buy anyting off of ebay.
All of the guests seemed a little on edge as Billie Joe and Avril Lavigne stepped into the backyard. Billie Joe was wearing his usual red tie. Avril was wearing a ripped black and pink dress with fishnets and boots. Mike was the best man of course, even though I knew he belonged in hell with Sid Vicious. But you see, I had a plan in motion, enough to cause quite the commotion. It was an exotic notion, my thoughts flowing into an onyx ocean. Get my Billie Joe back in one piece, and have all of this conflict cease. And then my popularity will increase, and win Billie Joe's heart, indeed. (in the platonic way)
So, I took out my AK and grabbed Mike by the throat, pointing my lovely gun straight at his thick skull. "Heather, you fucking bitch. First you kiss me, and then you want to kill me! Only three more years and then your reign of terror is over!" Mike shouted, not seeming to care if I held his life in my hands. Everyone screamed as I laughed maniacally.
"You're not marrying anyone, Billie Joe..." I hissed. He looked shocked, yet somehow, turned on. He was slowly loosening his tie erotically, oh how I wanted to wrap that silky tie around my throat and strangle myself with it until I burst everywhere. I wanted to run my hands down his smooth skin and lick it.
Avril wasn't having it, and was screaming at me that I wasn't fit to be prez, so, I shot Mike. He crumpled to the ground, bleeding in the shoulder and sobbing. Avril grabbed a skull-coated katana and leapt at me, star-wars style like Yodda. She slashed at my leg. I grabbed the presidential watch and shot lasers at her. She dodged them with precision. Hmm, I was going to need something a little bigger to take this bitch down. You see, there was this special button inside the watch that could only pressed if you had a dire situation. And this situation was fucking dire. I pressed it and the Black House folded up into itself and lowered into the ground. A giant, mechanical robot that was painted black and blue with X-ed out eyes rose up out of the ground and the loud song of "St. Jimmy" began to play. Ahh, St. Jimmy 233, the mecha I had created when I won that treaty with Japan. They have the coolest technology ever!
I did some par-core off the wedding guests and jumped into the cockpit of St. Jimmy 233 and the robot began to blast off of the ground. Avril was holding two katanas and had a jet-pack, leaping off the ground to attack. I manuevared the arm to strike her across the face prez-style and she hit the ground with a resonating thud. Her head was split open, but I wasn't done. I stomped on her until she was nothing more than a bloody pulp. Then I set off to demolish the entire city. The whole world had to know what would happen to those who touched my beautiful Billie Joe! I rampaged buildings, tore down entire skate-parks and curb-stomped people.
Soon, the entire city was in flames and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Billie Joe belonged to no one else but me
My English teacher is mad because I did my essay on Green Day again. She says that Billie Joe Armstrong has done absolutely nothing for the world, so I can't keep using him as a writing subject. But, she'll never understand, Billie Joe Armstrong has inspired alot of people to find good music and to rock out while thinking deeper about the meanings of the songs. Most music just makes you dance, but Green Day makes your brain dance! And Mike Dirnt has the coolest guitar riffs in the world. And Tre Cool is so fucking COOL! I'm going to be a proud fan and write my essay on the perfection that is Green Day, even if it gets me another detention!
You know, I should have stopped taking my bipolar meds months ago, iFeel fucking fantastic!
But, srlsy, let's get this awesomefest started, Stay motherfucking (Arm)Strong! Live Strong Like ArmStrong!
Avril Lavigne was shocked when I ripped out half her slutty hair. The entire party stopped in it's intense tracks and focused on us. I dug my nails deep into Avril's scalp and began tearing off skin. She was kissing my Billie Joe! She was sleeping with my Billie Joe! SHE WAS GETTING MARRIED TO MY BILLIE JOE! Okay, he wasn't mine, like boyfriend-mine, but he was my best friend and he needed to act like it. Avril shrieked and shoved me away from her. The crowd cheered riotously. My heart felt like there were a million hand-grenade going off at once. It felt like there was sa shiny black razor blade slicing my brain, oh how I wish I could feel the pain dripping from my wrists like smooth red velvet. "Like, what the hell is wrong with you, Heather?!" She screamed, while clutching at her bleeding head. Everyone in the party was either in shock, too drunk to care, too drunk to fuck, or calling the police. But, I'm the prez, I own the police. I'm pretty much the entire law!
That's when Billie Joe stopped puking from doing too many shots and dashed over to save his darling pop-punk princess. His fist slammed into my face like a semi-truck and my vision blurred as I hit the ground. Memories of first meeting Green Day flashed before my eyes. I remembered getting Pandora to dance naked in Gym Class to save Billie Joe's life. I remember walking around my suburbia with him in the rain, talking about all of the things that make our hearts bleed, and I remembered how it was his idea for me to become president. Without Billie Joe, I was nothing. I dno't exist without my other half, my best friend and I hoped in the next life he would be a girl so I could bang the fuck out of her. Even Mike and Tre were null compared to the precipice that is and ever will be, Billie Joe.
Then I felt something warm and soft hitting my face. I heard giggling. So, I looked up and saw a smirking Tre shitting on my stomach. He was wearing a lampshade and his boxers had little hearts on them. He was laughing demonically. No, Tre, you shit on whores, not on the Prez! I was mortified. I was wearing my best Bring Me The Horizon shirt and now it was fucking ruined, AHHH! Then I had an idea on how to win my fight.
So, I scooped up the poo and flung it at Avril's face. It hit direct strike with a SPLAT! Brown chunks were streaming down her face, amplifying her already gruesome look. Now, she was crying. Billie Joe looked at me as if he had never seen me before. Everyone else in the party was doing the same, as if I had a stupid target painted on my forhead. Mournfully, I slumped my shoulders and hurried away from the bar.
A few weeks later, I was forced to attend the never-ever-ever-should-happen-in-the-history-of-the-holy-emo-empire wedding of my lovely Billie Joe and that skank, Avril. Congress knew I needed some better publicity after what happened in the bar, so they held my entire CD collection hostage until I agreed to attend the Wedding and behave myself. But, I don't have issues, everyone else does and they need to get proper help for them. Just like in my real Devon Harlow life, EVERYONE ELSE IS OUT TO FUCKING GET ME BUT I'LL GET THEM FIRST AND EAT THEM WITH GRAVY AND SPRINKLES! YOU'RE ALL GONNA BURN, MOTHERFUCKERS! (especially you, Cameron, fuck you.)
(Oh god, it feels like my brain is sparkling. I feel so goddamn weird, it's marvelous. I wanna punch someone in the face right now, ya know, IN THA FACE MWUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHHA)
No, i cannot tell my parents, no they can't know i'm off my meds again, ohhhh! fuck! BUT I WANNNA SHOUT TO THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD THAT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE AND THAT THEY WILL NEVER BRING ME DOWN AGAIN, YEAH!
But anywayz, back to the story!
Bizzy D volunteered to be my plus one, and with his sparkling blue eyes, I was in heaven. He seemed a little shy on me after I shamed his dumb ex-wife, as if he had a little bit of a crush on ugly old me. I was flatter,ed, but I told him "not hetero, not ever" and he seemed to accept it just fine. Tre was doing bungee jumps off the niagra falls after I bought it and had it placed in the backyard of the Black House. It was nice being prez and being able to buy anyting off of ebay.
All of the guests seemed a little on edge as Billie Joe and Avril Lavigne stepped into the backyard. Billie Joe was wearing his usual red tie. Avril was wearing a ripped black and pink dress with fishnets and boots. Mike was the best man of course, even though I knew he belonged in hell with Sid Vicious. But you see, I had a plan in motion, enough to cause quite the commotion. It was an exotic notion, my thoughts flowing into an onyx ocean. Get my Billie Joe back in one piece, and have all of this conflict cease. And then my popularity will increase, and win Billie Joe's heart, indeed. (in the platonic way)
So, I took out my AK and grabbed Mike by the throat, pointing my lovely gun straight at his thick skull. "Heather, you fucking bitch. First you kiss me, and then you want to kill me! Only three more years and then your reign of terror is over!" Mike shouted, not seeming to care if I held his life in my hands. Everyone screamed as I laughed maniacally.
"You're not marrying anyone, Billie Joe..." I hissed. He looked shocked, yet somehow, turned on. He was slowly loosening his tie erotically, oh how I wanted to wrap that silky tie around my throat and strangle myself with it until I burst everywhere. I wanted to run my hands down his smooth skin and lick it.
Avril wasn't having it, and was screaming at me that I wasn't fit to be prez, so, I shot Mike. He crumpled to the ground, bleeding in the shoulder and sobbing. Avril grabbed a skull-coated katana and leapt at me, star-wars style like Yodda. She slashed at my leg. I grabbed the presidential watch and shot lasers at her. She dodged them with precision. Hmm, I was going to need something a little bigger to take this bitch down. You see, there was this special button inside the watch that could only pressed if you had a dire situation. And this situation was fucking dire. I pressed it and the Black House folded up into itself and lowered into the ground. A giant, mechanical robot that was painted black and blue with X-ed out eyes rose up out of the ground and the loud song of "St. Jimmy" began to play. Ahh, St. Jimmy 233, the mecha I had created when I won that treaty with Japan. They have the coolest technology ever!
I did some par-core off the wedding guests and jumped into the cockpit of St. Jimmy 233 and the robot began to blast off of the ground. Avril was holding two katanas and had a jet-pack, leaping off the ground to attack. I manuevared the arm to strike her across the face prez-style and she hit the ground with a resonating thud. Her head was split open, but I wasn't done. I stomped on her until she was nothing more than a bloody pulp. Then I set off to demolish the entire city. The whole world had to know what would happen to those who touched my beautiful Billie Joe! I rampaged buildings, tore down entire skate-parks and curb-stomped people.
Soon, the entire city was in flames and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Billie Joe belonged to no one else but me