Chrome Visions

A/N: Okay, srlsy, I havent even finished my Christmas shopping yet and it's the 22nd! Last year, it was soooo much easier, because I just gave everyone Green Day CDs that I thought matched my recipients personalities, and everyone deserves the gift of Green Day in their stocking! My stupid mom lectured me though after Grandma started ranting about how there's no such thing as good music anymore and that she wishes that crooners (what the fuck is that??) like Dean Martin and Frank Senatra were still around with their sweet love songs. I thought Dookie was a perfect addition to her collection, it's a classic! This year, after much thought, I'm giving her a 5SOS album because they definitely define what my generation is all about and maybe stupid g-ma WOULD HAVE SOME SENSE TO REALIZE THAT THEY ARE SEX ON STAGE AND THAT THEY ARE WAY BETTER THAN ANY 50's BULLSHIT!

My parents finally realized that I was off my meds after they found completely full pill bottles in my backpack. I was trying to sell the pills around the school and cash in on that Cholo profit, but no one wanted MY stuff, they all wanted Xanax or Adderall! Lazy assholes not knowing what quality drugs are! They then lectured me about how I wasn't going to have normal life if I didn't take these stupid pills and that they wanted me to be "happy" and make good choices and do a lot of boring things blah blah blah. They said that my "goth" phase has gone for too long and that they're worried I'm not going to get into a good college because I've failed too many classes. BITCH, I'M NOT GOTH, I'M EMO! (AND IT'S NOT A PHASE, IT'S MY FUCKING LIFE!) And I'm going to be a best-selling author who writes dark romantic tragedies or join a pop-punk band and live at the Warped Tour! Fuck being a nurse like they want me to be because it's a "Secure job" ugh, well, they don't have the gorgeous haunting music in their soul like I do.

They grounded me from going to the We Are The In Crowd concert tonight because I "don't realize the importance of caring for my mental health" and that maybe if I was away from the "bad" influence of my favorite bands, I might straighten up. Fucking morons, like MCR says "Art Is A Weapon" and Killjoys Never Die! I'm planning on sneaking out anyway, I paid Cameron's older brother to drive me. I stole my mom's keys when she wasn't looking. She thought she left them somewhere at the bank, haha dumb bitch! Ooh, speaking of Cameron, I bought him the All Time Low bundle off of amazon using my dad's credit card. I'm hoping the melancholic yet fun lyrics which Alex Gaskarth penned will bring him back home to Emo! (And the boxed set is so cute because Alex is wearing a santa hat, d'awww!)

Stupid Abby is getting all sorts of attention in school after she got into steam-punk. She bought these ugly bronze goggles from Etsy that have tiny gears attached to them and everyone just THINKS IT'S SOOO FUCKING COOL! Ugh, she's so lame now. She used to make these really pretty emo arm-warmers and now she's just making these dumb antique-looking accessories. I need to stop this trend from taking over the school before everyone starts talking like Charles Dickens! Seriously, these people are snobbier than preps!

As theraputic it is to talk about what's going on in my black, sorrowful heart, I have a story to update! Stay Arm(Strong)!

Once the studios were rebuilt, and Tre was no longer on fire, I herded everyone back in to finish filming the first harrowing episdoe of "Heartless Homies In Search Of Fame". Mike was sobbing because he was terrified of losing his life, so I put a muzzle on him so that he wouldn't frighten the audience away. He glared at me as if I was the worst person in the world, but, everyone knows that award goes to either Hitler or Sid Vicious for creating the trash known as Punk Rock. I surveyed my domain like a motherly eagle. Billie Joe was still naked, wearing nothing but his tie. Tre was cackling madly. Travis Barker was bragging about how he beat up the lockness monster in Ireland, much to the chagrin of Ollie Sykes, who was skateboarding to get all of his anger out. He did an ollie off the stage because irony and jumped a manual. Everyone in the audience clapped profusely and begged for an autograph. Travis Barker was jamming out epic guitar riffs. Charlie Scene was massaging his sore balls after he stuck ghost peppers on them and looked like he hated his life. Dysentary Gary...had shat himself amist all the chaos from earlier. Poor kid, I wondered if their were magic pills you could take to shrink your bowels or something. Hayley Williams had burnt to death, which was kind of okay, because was such a bad lay. The flames matched her bright orange hair quite well too.

This round's challenge was to see who could generate the most craziest epic fan response! Contestants would be put in front of a screen and a microphone while the entire world watched and they would say a few rousing words to rally the morale of the entire conutry! As prez, this job came almost too easy to me but is this gift of charisma deep in the minds of my favorite pop-punk leaders? We shall see, we shall definitely see. First up was Ollie Sykes, who yawned in boredom and flipped his lusciously hair. He slumped over the microphone and belched loudly. Smirking, he grabbed it and said "You know, I don't give a flying fuck if you like me, but you should buy my new album "Sempiternal" anyway because I need the money to get a new skateboard (which, skateboarding is defintely art as long as people like Cameron aren't doing it...) and some quality high-liner. If you don't buy it, you're rachet! That's all." He concluded and listened to the sweet sound of his fans starting riots in his honor. Then he did a 360 jump off stage like a bad-ass.

Next was Charlie Scene who called for some strobe lights and glow-sticks. He adjusted his shutter-shades and flashed the audience his pearly-whites. "Yo, everyone, may I have your fucking attention? Good, because I'm here today to talk about how Hollywood Undead rolls. You ask no questions and we take no prisoners, ya hear. If we wanna piss all over the entirety of LA, then that's how we roll, muthafuckas! You can join our Undead family, but we know all the skeletons in your closet and we'll rattle your scum-filled bones if you even think of going to cops! Fan-fucking-tastic! Also, never let them take you alive!" He shouted and the screen zoomed in on fireworks lighting up all of LA in praise of Charlie Scene and the rest of his band. Tears came to my eyes, how inspiring!

Travis Barker hopped up on stage and threw up a fistpump to get the crowd going. Then he cast his sparkling blue eyes on the audience and smiled warmly. "You know, my band and I make a lot of funny joke songs about Star Wars, good ol' Grandpa, online dating and girls having dick lips, but believe it or not, we do have a serious side." He said, and everyone laughed. "I wanted to talk about how pop-punk has changed my life. You see guys, I was picked on in high-school, just like you. I lost count of how many times some douchbag jock thought it was funny to slam my head into a locker. I never had a date for prom or a steady girlfriend, but that's okay. Know why? Because of bands like Green Day (who, by the way are Blink 182's main main inspiration!), Weezer, the Descendents, New Found Glory, The Starting Line and countless others who seemed to always just understand perfectly how I felt. They knew how much I didn't fit in and how girls didn't like me and how I dreamed of something better, and they gave it to me. Pop-punk reminds me of summer because of how happy and sunny the season is and you can chill with your friends and have all sorts of rad adventures. It allowed me to find myself and gave a reason to keep on living. That's why I'm in a band, because I know that this is the one true way to make a difference in our youth and I have..." Travis continued. Then the spotlight suddenly shifted as Dysentary Gary hopped up on stage. A toothy smile stretched across his freckly face that I just wanted to pinch.

"It's true. Without bands like Blink-182, I would still be stuck with my stupid parents who fed me treasonous lies like pop-punk is bad for you and that only classic rock like the Beetles is true music. They abused me whenever I wore my Blink 182 shirt, but that's okay, because I was proud! I'm still proud! When Travis Barker noticed me in school, I was scared and ran because I didn't want him to know how broken I was inside. Then he and Tom Delonge and Mark Hoppus put on a great show during lunch and seeing all of my classmates getting into the spirit of pop-punk made me realize that it's okay to be myself and fuck what my parents think. Pop-punk saved my life, and I hope it does the same for you!" Dysentary Gary chirped happily. There was a brief silence and then the entire world erupted into thunderous applause, even the communists in China! This was a barrier-breaking speech that reached across nationalities and stirred the hearts of thousands. Tears flooded down my cheeks. Maybe I should replace Vice President Billie Joe with Travis Barker... And then, the unbelievable happened. The screen panned to the former school of Dysentary Gary and zoomed in on the entire population, teachers including, shitting themselves in honor of Dysentary Gary! I cried harder, Dysentary Gary was no longer uncool like he always wanted, I was so happy and proud of him!

Looking at the applause counter, by far, Travis Barker had won. Suddenly, Jesus hopped up stage, looking upset that I wasn't crying with happiness over him. He smoothed his A Day To Remember t-shirt and made sure his eyeliner looked good. Then he said "Okay, look, I know I'm just the measly host of Heather's awesome-sauce reality show but I can generate applause just as well as any of these lunatics, Father said so! And he's ALWAYS right! Okay, okay?! I know more Green Day songs than anyone here put together and we all know that that's really what matter, right? Right??" Jesus huffed angrily. I began seeing red. I, alone, was the biggest Green Day fan in the history of history! I knew all the songs, starting with their first CD dookie and ending with the trilody! I EVEN PUT THEM IN THE FUCKING BLACK HOUSE!!

Jesus continued though obvliousl to my inner rage bubbling. "I even slept with Billie Joe and I know none of you here are lucky enough to have that experience so HA! I should win! If I don't, I'll send my angels after you, and you really really really don't want that! So clap for me, your Lord commands it!" He shouted. And then something inside me broke. He slept with MY Billie Joe! Well, this means war then, doesn't it? I hurried to the back of the studio since no one was watching. I then he brought out all of my artillery and looked around Tre, he was always up for anything explosive. He was just sitting on the couch, next to Billie Joe and Mike and was sniffing a bottle of paste, underwear still on his head. They were watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas and I instantly shot the TV, causing it to short-circuit. They all jumped alarm. Billie Joe's eyes were glazed over and I wondered how many drugs he did while the show was continuing. Mike was trying to rip off the muzzle, probably so he could yell at me like he always did, fucking asshole! I started chucking guns and grenades at them, along with titanium-plated vests. "Put them on, we're going to war with Jesus Christ!"

Mike finally removed the muzzle and gave me a quizzical look. "Why?" He asked in confusion. He was probably expecting me to declare war on Seattle because they were filled with the goth minority I had been trying to wipe out. Silly Mike...

"Because Jesus thinks he's the best Green Day fan and HE SLEPT WITH BILLIE FUCKING JOE FUCKING ARMSTRONG! FUCK! FUCK!" I bellowed, rage racing my veins. Mike looked over at the naked, completely oblivious Billie Joe and started laughing.

"Billie Joe has done so much ketamine in the past two hours, do you really think he even knows that Jesus slept with him?" Mike asked in an amused tone. I glared at him.

"It doesn't matter, I know and it's breaking my heart! I mean, no hetero ever, but I still worry about my best friend getting an STD! I mean, how many angels has Jesus slept with? I bet that's how Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden, they gave Jesus herpes!" I cried, starting to sob again thinking of Billie Joe locking lips with Jesus. Mike just continued laughing.

"You know, even for a 'best friend', you certainly care a great deal who Billie Joe sleeps with..." Mike said, winking at me.

"That's because I'm the fucking prez! If Billie Joe sleeps around, it's going to cause a scandal! Look what happened with the iHeart Radio festival! Do we want a reapeat of that mike?" I asked, deciding if I show blow his brains out or not.

"Or maybe...you're hetero!" Mike cackled evilly. The color drained from my face. No, no, it was just not possible! Mike fucking knew that I only liked the lezzies!

"NO I'M NOT MIKE!" I screamed in his face.

"Hetero, hetero, hetero. Heather loooooves Billie Joe!" Mike sang, so I ripped out his eyeballs and feasted on them in front of Tre, who was crying. Mike was shrieking as blood poured from his eye sockets. I commanded Tre to lick it up.

Alright, everyone, battle-stations! I called and marched the team out front to fight Jesus.

This is War!