Trading Heartbeats

The morning went like this: Wake up too early (relative to the time I went to sleep), shower (again), drag my ass into the kitchen (where Afton, my savior, was standing at the stove making breakfast). There was coffee already brewing. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, planting a kiss on her cheek before putting my head on her shoulder. My eyes fell closed, begging to be able to go back to sleep.

She bumped me with her hip. "Figured you would need some help when I heard your loud ass truck roll up at almost two thirty this morning." I nodded against her shoulder. My arms were still loosely wrapped around her waist. "What were you doing?"

"Aaron," I mumbled. No point in not being honest about it.

She pushed a breath out through her nose and bumped me with her hip again. "Better him than Niall," she commented as she nudged me with her elbow. She only said it to get under my skin. I knew she liked Aaron as a person, unlike the way she clearly felt about Niall. I groaned and took a step away from her so she could flip the pancake.

After another full minute of wishing I could crawl back into my bed, I stepped around Afton and flipped the switch on the coffee maker, which had finished brewing, and grabbed the pot with one hand, reaching for the biggest mug that was easily accessible with the other.

"Might as well just drink it straight from the pot," Afton observed as I poured.

I shrugged. "Dad and James might not be too happy about that," I replied.

Though all of us will drink coffee, really we're split 50/50. Dad, James, and me were coffee drinkers. Mama, Jae, and Afton all preferred tea. Despite that, Afton made the best coffee of anyone I'd ever met. I was always excited when was here early and got it started, though it didn't happen often. Usually just mornings before vacation. Occasionally when she slept over.

I slid into the breakfast nook and hit a button on my phone so the screen lip up and opened up the Twitter notification from the night before.

DM with @NiallOfficial
Think I figured out your number
Wanna tell me if its right ?

I looked at the number he sent after that. It was right. It had taken awhile, but he'd finally gotten it.

DM with @NiallOfficial
Maybe you should text it and find out

Of course I wasn't going to be that easy on him. Afton set a plate down in front of me. Pancakes, eggs, and fruit. The only thing that would make it more perfect was some form of potatoes. But I wasn't cooking, so I also wasn't going to complain.

"Why are you still talking to him?" she inquired once she was back at the stove.

I sighed and shut the screen on my phone off. It was early, making it highly unlikely he was awake anyway. "I don't know," I said. It was true. I didn't know why, after he made me so angry with some of the things he'd said or at the very least implied, I continued to interact with him.

Thankfully, the conversation didn't continue because at that moment a bleary eyed Jameson, my new savior, sauntered into the kitchen. He walked over, as I had done, and placed a quick kiss on Afton's cheek before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

He took a sip as he slid into the nook across from me. "Hell yeah," he mumbled. His hair was wet from the shower, but his voice croaked like he'd just woken up. He also liked when Afton made coffee. "Phone's blinking," he mumbled again. I barely understood him, so I was pleased that he also pointed before reaching up to rub his eye.

"Break it," Afton quipped from the stove.

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything and opened the notification after the screen turned on.

DM with @NiallOfficial
Why are you awake ?

Why are you

Good question
Also cant text that number unless I know its yours

Scared?

Just dont want some random weirdo having my number

Then you probably shouldnt text that number

Its not yours then ?

I didnt say that

So it is yours

I didnt say that either
Im only saying that whether it is mine or not some random weirdo will have your number

Jessilynn

Niall
The question here isnt if thats my number
The question is do you trust that i wouldnt tell you to text someone who isnt me at some ungodly hour of the morning
Why on earth are you awake anyway

Ur impossible
No I dont trust you not to do that

Im hurt
Also youre a big baby
Yes its my number. You guessed correctly

+++

Shep @afton
Roadtrippin'

Niall didn't text me. To be honest, I didn't expect him to. Even more honestly, I didn't expect much from him at all. I mostly just assumed, regardless of anything he said, that this just made it easier for him to ask me for sex.

Four hours later we'd packed everything into my truck, secured by the cover Jameson had helped me put on the bed before we left, and were on the road. My phone rang. Well, it vibrated. But we had the music up, a killer mix of country, nineties pop, and classic rock, and were all singing terribly at the top of our lungs so I ignored it.

But then I felt it vibrate again. I reached into my pocket and glanced down quickly, but didn't recognize the number. Afton immediately snatched my phone from my hand because she was, rightfully, very against anyone using a phone while driving. It must have started going off again because she reached over and turned down the music.

"Neato's phone. Shep speaking, may I help you?" she answered. I giggled, shaking my head slightly. It sounded like some sort of weird code. She was quiet for a moment. "Neato," she said again. "Shouldn't you know who you're calling?" she inquired. I couldn't help but laugh again. "Oh. Yes, this is the right number," she went on. And then, "No. Jessilynn can't come to the phone right now. She's driving."

I could practically hear her roll her eyes as she pulled the phone away from her ear. "I can't believe you gave him your phone number," she said, hitting the screen to put it on speaker and then holding the phone between us.

"Yeah?" I said, keeping my eyes on the road in front of me. I wanted to roll them back at her, but I refrained. She knew I was thinking it anyway, just like I'd known she did it without having to look at her.

"Jessilynn?" Niall inquired.

"Yeah," I repeated. "Who the fuck did you think it was going to be, the tooth fairy? Also, you're on speaker and my brother and sister are in the car, so fucking watch what you say."

He was quiet for a moment. "Is that language necessary?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Fuck off. Aren't you Irish? Didn't I read somewhere that 'fuck' was your first word?" I replied. I cringed inwardly at the implication that I had Googled him, which I hadn't, other than that first day I met him.

But he didn't seem phased in the least. In fact, he chuckled. "That I am," he said. "Didn't know you had a brother. Or a sister," he commented. Of course he didn't because I hadn't chosen to share that bit of information with him.

"What do you want?" I asked. I could feel my patience wearing thin, though I wasn't totally sure why. I mean, other than the fact that he had a tendency to annoy me any time he spoke. "This is actually kind of a bad time. We're on our way to the happiest place on earth and you're really bringing down the mood in the car right now."

"Excuse me?" he asked.

I sighed heavily. "Oh my god." I rolled my eyes again. "You know what? I really don't have time to explain what I just said to your dumb ass. We gotta go. Text me later." I motioned for Afton to end the call before he could respond.

She turned in her seat so she was facing me. "I seriously cannot believe you," she said.

From the back seat, Jaelynn interjected. "Who was that?" she inquired.

"Who do you think?" I asked, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. I was doing everything I could to avoid talking to Afton about this. I knew how she felt. I understood how she felt. Hell, I even agreed with her. Logically, I was completely on the same page as she was when it came to Niall. But something I couldn't explain kept pulling me back to him. "It's not like I didn't tell you about him," I commented.

"No, I know," she replied immediately. "But," she paused. "Holy shit, Jess," she said.

I knew Afton was rolling her eyes again by what came out of her mouth next. "Don't encourage her. The guy's a real dick," she said.

Jaelynn and I looked at each other in the mirror. "He is," I agreed with a shrug. "But I don't know. I don't think he means to be." I shrugged again. "Or maybe he does. I don't know." I sighed. "I don't know." What else could I say? I really didn't know.

"Don't make excuses for him," Afton said. She was very obviously annoyed with me. I was kind of annoyed with myself. Not in that exact moment, but any time I really thought about what I was doing.

And then Jae said, "He seemed okay?" but came out more like a question than a statement.

Behind me I caught a look at Jameson in the rearview mirror. He looked bored. I couldn't really blame him. So I threw him a life line, I threw myself a life line, and reached over to turn the music back up.

+++

Jessilynn Rae @neatojessi
Thanks Mama and Dad for the suite upgrade! (at Disney's Paradise Pier Hotel)

The plan had been for me to pay for this trip. It was something nice I wanted to do for my siblings. And really, since we all had annual passes, it was mostly just the cost of the hotel. And food, of course. So it was a huge surprise to find out that my parents had gotten involved. A nice one, though, as it gave us a little more space in the room.

Even though we had the annual passes, we chose not to go into either of the parks that afternoon. Instead we hit Downtown Disney to get ourselves into the spirit. We wreaked havoc in the Lego store and got lost looking at everything in World of Disney for over an hour. I let Afton and Jaelynn go ahead into Sephora and hung back with James checking out the different pin kiosks before we wandered into the store where you can build your own toy race car. It took a lot for both of us not to get one. After we all met up again, we headed over to ESPN Zone to eat and then proceeded to spend the rest of the night in the arcade.

Considering I was running on only a few hours of sleep, I should have been a lot more tired than I was. But I was wired, and not from copious amounts of coffee. Surprisingly, I only had coffee once after what I drank with breakfast. No, I was just enjoying myself, relishing a vacation. Though, really, I don't have a whole lot to complain about. I had been thoroughly enjoying life. This was just icing on the cake, I guess.

Jameson was sprawled out across the couch when I came out of the bathroom in my pajamas. He had laid claim to the sofa bed in the small living area, leaving the two beds in the bedroom to the three of us girls. Most likely, he wouldn't pull out the bed. Though he's not small like I am, he can sleep anywhere just the same. Jaelynn too. It's a gift, really.

I positioned myself on the arm of the couch at the end where his feet were and waited until he looked at me. His eyes were heavy, ready for sleep. Afton and Jaelynn were already in the bedroom, but neither of them were asleep yet. I could hear them talking.

"You ever get sick of being around us girls all the time?" I asked him. I knew he liked spending time with us, but that didn't stop me from feeling bad that he was always the only guy in a group of girls. At least he and Dad had each other when our parents were around.

He shook his head. "Well," he added quickly. "It's not always great when you get to talking about guys," he said.

I wrinkled my nose. Scrunched my whole face, really. "Sorry about that," I apologized. "I wish she hadn't answered my phone earlier," I went on. "I mean, I don't care if she answers my phone or talks to Niall or whatever. Just, it wasn't really the time, you know?" He nodded. His eyelids seemed to be growing heavier by the second. "But listen, no more of that. I'm dude-free this week. I want this week to be about us finally getting to spend some quality time together."

Again, he nodded. I reached down and patted his leg and then slid off the arm of the couch. "Love you, little brother. Get some sleep," I said, and then started across the room.

I was at the door of the bedroom when I heard him say that he loved me too, and I couldn't help but smile. Of course, I knew he did. We're family. But it seemed like the older we got, the less we said it to each other. I don't know if it got weird, or if we just simply didn't feel the need anymore. But either way, it was definitely nice to hear.

I climbed into the bed next to Afton. She rolled toward me and held her phone up to take a picture of the two of us, and then rolled away again to post the picture probably on Instagram. I grabbed my phone from the night stand next to the bed and found a text message.

Call me

I recognized the number as the one Niall called me from earlier. He'd sent the text nearly twenty minutes ago. I hadn't saved it yet. I didn't plan on saving it. He was temporary in my life.

No

What ? Come on call me

No

Im not your girlfriend

Its not my duty to bend to your every whim

Ur a right bitch sometimes you know

Awesome

Turning off my phone now

Talk to you in a week

A week ?

I didn't bother to respond to his question, but as I had told Jameson, I had no intention of talking to Niall for the duration of our trip. Not even via text message. This week was about being away, about being my brother and my sister, about not dealing with the stupid shit that talking to Niall brought into my life. This week I was free of all obligations except having fun with the people who were with me.

I shut my phone off. For the next week, this was all that mattered to me.