Don't Think I Can Fight This Anymore

Dear Charlie,

Thank you for the flowers you had Sylvia send over. They were beautiful. I can’t decide if I should keep them in the shop so I can look at them all day or keep them upstairs.

Things are alright here. I ended up winning some decent gold off your brother at poker the other night and it’s going to new teapots. Mundane, but we all can’t study dragons.

Speaking of, have you ever ridden a dragon? I’ll bet it’s exhilarating. Something so powerful and dangerous.

How are you? You’ve only been gone a week and your mother is already complaining that she misses you. I know you prefer to be a wild man in the forest but you should visit more. Your mother isn’t the only one - Sherlock has been going nuts.

Kidding.

Yours,
Evelyn

~*~

The flowers arrived on Friday, with a simple note. It was a simple bouquet of tiger lilies, and Evelyn knew that Sylvia had picked them out. But she smiled anyway. It was the thought, and the intention. Evelyn wrote her reply, and continued getting ready for Trip’s visit.

She cleaned the house, as she had been letting it go lately. Not that anyone would notice, or care, but she liked it clean.

On Monday she went out into muggle London to do some shopping. She loved the muggle side of the city. It reminded her of Toronto, where she had grown up. Though she wasn’t sure if it was the muggle-ness of the whole thing or the British influences in Toronto. She firmly believed it was good to escape the world of magic now and then. See something old and new.

Evelyn was just about done when she saw something she hadn’t seen in two years. A little old homeless woman was sitting outside a tube station, on some card board. An orange cat on a leash sat next to her. It was the poncho that had gotten Evelyn’s attention, though. It was ragged and dirty and a hideous pea green color.

It couldn’t be, Evelyn tried to reassure herself. She must just be wearing it. It was a little chilly, anyway.

Even still, she dug into her purse and pulled out a twenty pound note, then approached the old woman.

“Here.” Evelyn said quietly, extending the bill folded between two fingers. “For cat food.”

The old woman smiled gratefully, but Evelyn’s heart sank as the woman took her hand in both of hers. Evelyn felt the push of folded paper into her palm.

“Thank you, miss. You’re very kind.”

Evelyn straightened up and kept walking. She went about twenty paces before she started unfolding the tiny triangle of paper.

Someone is asking questions about all of you. Be careful.

Evelyn whipped around and looked for the old woman, but she was already gone.

~*~

Evelyn couldn’t tell Ian about the note until Sunday night, when he came over with Trip to play cards. Evelyn hugged Trip tightly and spent time catching up with him. All three of them had a glass of scotch and cigars, and started a game of rummy.

Finally, Evelyn said, “I got a note from the old network the other day.”

Ian frowned. “The network? What were you doing with them?”

“The last thing I wanted to do, while buying fucking washcloths, was run into the network.” Evelyn grumbled. “She had the poncho. That horrible green thing of Tess’.”

“Alright, alright.” Trip sighed. “We all remember the signal. What did she want?”

“It was a warning. Someone’s asking questions about us.”

Ian sighed. “Evs, it probably is nothing.”

“What if it’s not?”

“I’ve got an entire family under the imperius curse to do god knows what. We’re still trying to track down Rodolphus Lestrange, who you, Trip, failed to capture. I’ll look into it, but it might take a while.”

Evelyn and Trip nodded, but Evelyn felt a twinge of worry. She swallowed it. Trip, however, expressed his worry.

“Didn’t we disband the network?”

Ian rolled his eyes. “How do you disband a network that’s already in place before you use it?”

“I think they were just giving us a heads up.” Evelyn said.

What she meant was, they think it’s important enough to seek me out again, why don’t you? If Ian knew that, he didn’t indicate.

“They wanted money.” Trip said. “They scared you for money.”

“Why? Because they’re homeless people we paid to spy for us, so obviously they want more money? They’re good people Trip.”

“I’ll look into it, alright?” Ian said. “Evs, I promise. You’re right. We can’t be too careful.”

Trip drank more scotch and reached for the bottle. Ian looked miserably at his cards. “Maybe I need to try something new.”

“Like mahjong?” Evelyn suggested, reaching for the card pile.

“No, I mean...getting out of the life.” Ian said. “Retiring. Or something.” He looked at the former second lieutenant. “How do you do it? Be a civilian?”

Evelyn sighed. “Sarge, I’ve still got my foot in the door.”

“Speaking of,” Trip said, picking through his hand. “Sparring practice tomorrow?”

Evelyn shrugged. “Sure.”

There was a tapping on the window and Sherlock leapt up from his place at his mistress’ feet and pranced over to the window. Evelyn saw a grey owl perched on the sill and got up as Sherlock started whining and pawing at the glass.

“What’s that? The Evening Prophet?” Ian asked.

Evelyn shot him a shrewd look and forced Sherlock away. “What the hell do I need the Evening Prophet for? You owl me as soon as anything happens.” She opened the window and took the letter from the owl. It hooted indignantly at Sherlock and flew away. “Oh, it’s from Charlie.”

“Charlie.” Trip repeated, watching her smile as she scanned the letter. “Oh, my, a boy?”

“I’d put him more in the man range.”

“So you’ve slept with him, then.” Trip forced a laugh. “Finch has got a boyfriend. Finch has got a boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

She didn’t blush as he teased her, but Ian saw the way she smiled. Maybe this was her way out. Maybe she needed someone who hadn’t known her in the war. Maybe she needed someone who didn’t know what she was capable of, but could love a monster none the less.

It was early for Ian to be thinking these things. But he wanted her to be okay. And maybe with this she could.

~*~

Evelyn took Trip to the muggle gym she worked out at the next day. Usually, on her own, she spent the time working with a bag. Today, with trip here, she stepped into the ring wearing short loose shorts and an oversized tank top over a bra. A few of the other fighters murmured and stepped closer to watch. The girl with saphire eyes was actually going to fight today.

They both sat on the floor of the ring and started to wrap their hands and feet.

“So.” Trip said. “Tell me about Charlie.”

Evelyn rolled her eyes. “He’s just someone I write to.”

“Very Victorian of you.”

Evelyn stretched out her arms.

“But you like each other.”

Evelyn glowered. “You want the full story? He’s George’s older brother, and he works with dragons in Romania, and I slept with him, and it was really good. And everyone told me to stay away from him. But he asked if he could write to me, and then he sent me flowers.”

“A dragon trainer?”

Evelyn just sighed and stood, pulling on her MMA gloves. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you want him to be.”

“Yes, because I need a boyfriend sooo bad.” She mimicked a few quick jabs at him. “I don’t know what he wants, Trip. I don’t really know what I want. But right now, it’s good.”

“Alright. Alright.” He strapped down his own gloves. “Ready to get your ass kicked?”

“Yeah. That’s how this always ends.”

Evelyn bounced on the balls of her feet. Trip didn’t have a shirt on, and a lot of his tattoos matched Evelyn’s. Everyone in the unit had the roses on the arm, and the badge with the ranking on the back. He had the pegasus constellation on his chest, and ivy wrapped its way up his leg. The ivy was new. He had a few interesting new scars, too. The changes told Evelyn that they were growing apart, but it wasn’t a bad thing. They’d still be friends.

From the beginning of the unit, Trip and Evelyn stuck together. They patrolled together, trained together, fought together, drank together, hid together. If Evelyn knew how he felt, she saved him the embarrassment of having to talk about it. And when Evelyn left the army and Trip stayed, he moved on and found a girl who actually wanted him.

And seeing her get ready to fight him was like an old friend returning. When her eyes turned to crystal, he knew she would not go easy on him. She never had.

And that was exactly why he never pursued her, at the end of the day. He was in love with the warrior. And she deserved to be more than that.

~*~

Charlie sat at work, chewing his quill as he wrote a report. A few opened letters sat at his elbow, the one on top from Evelyn detailing a gym visit with her friend Trip. He didn’t really understand all the muggle dueling, but she seemed excited by it. She had described a fight between two other guys, clearly excited by the two different fighting styles. Then she had won her own fight against Trip. There was less detail on that, but it seemed that she had finished it when he tried to kick her in the head and she blocked it with her arm, pulled his other leg out from under him, and then wrestled him into some sort of submission hold.

The letter underneath was from his mother, asking him to please, please visit for Easter. That letter came every year. But this year...well, he only had about five years worth of vacation days saved up. The dragons weren’t especially active this time of year - the winds were too harsh for them to fly and setting off on foot gathered too much muggle attention.

He could see Evelyn again. He’d like that. Maybe she would, too.

He moved aside the report and instead wrote three letters. The first to his mother, saying he’d try to get the time off. The second to his boss, asking for the day before Easter Sunday through to the Wednesday after off (his current rotation had him working Tuesday through Saturday). And then the third to Evelyn, admitting that he didn’t understand most of what she’d written, but congratulations, he guessed, on beating up her friend, and that he might be in town soon.

~*~

Charlie couldn’t get home until the day of Easter. He arrived at the Burrow soaking wet, as it was raining something awful. Upon coming inside, Ginny and Fred were both sulking as the Quidditch match they had planned was cancelled. Hermione and Sylvia were engaged in an intense conversation about some book. His father was half asleep on the couch. Ron was challenging everyone to chess.

Charlie put his things in his room and then ran downstairs. “Mum, I’ll be back for dinner!” he said, pulling his wet cloak back on.

Molly rounded on him, turning away from supervising a potato peeler. “But where are you going?”

“I promised Evelyn I’d drop by.”

Molly rose her eyebrows. “Really.”

“Mum!” Ginny called as the peeler started attempting to peel the cutting board. From the state of the cutting board, it had happened before.

Molly waved her wand at the peeler and it lay silent.

“Why don’t you just invite her here?” Molly suggested.

“Oh, I don’t know, Mum, she might be busy - “

“Well you might as well ask. She’s such a nice witch, and George says you write her constantly - “

“Sides, Charlie.” Ginny piped up. “You’re so madly in love with her, we might as well get used to her - “

Charlie scooped his sister up over his shoulder and started to tickle her, making her laugh hysterically. “Who’s madly in love? Huh? Who?”

“Charlie! Put your sister down! Just go invite her!”

Charlie put his sister down, glared at her for good measure, and walked out the back door to apparate on the step. He arrived inside the Leaky Cauldron, gave Tom a friendly wave, and walked up the street. It wasn’t raining in London, which was good. But it looked like it might start.

When he got to the tea shop, it looked deserted. But the lights were half on and when he tried the door it was unlocked.

“We’re closed!” Evelyn said, running out of the kitchen. “We’re closed - oh, Charlie.”

She smiled, and Charlie realized he had forgotten exactly how pretty she was, especially in the simple blue dress she was wearing for tea service. When she approached and hugged him tightly, he couldn’t help himself but to kiss her. She had put on lipstick at some point, but it had dried up. She smiled into the kiss but didn’t pull away.

Someone cleared their throat and they broke apart. A blonde man of medium build leaned against the wall next to the kitchen door, watching with a smirk. Jackie, the chef, banged out of the swinging door and scowled at her employer before leaving.

“Trip, this is Charlie.” Evelyn sighed. “Trip and I were in the army together.”

Trip approached and they shook hands.

“What’s going on?” Evelyn asked.

“Well, my mother wants to invite you to dinner.” He was still watching Trip. “But if you’ve got plans - “

“Oh, no, don’t mind me.” Trip smiled.

“Trip, it’s fine - “ Evelyn started.

“No, you should go.” Trip encouraged. “I’ll drink with strangers. More fun, anyway.”

Evelyn rolled her eyes. “Right. Let me run upstairs and change, then we can go. Charlie - “

“Come outside and keep me company while I smoke, Charlie.” Trip said, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Sure.”

Evelyn narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Trip, but he smiled bandily at her. She turned and led them out of the shop, locked the door, and went up to her flat.

Trip leaned against one of the shop windows and lit a cigarette. He seemed to be thinking about what to say, and in the end skipped his preamble. Trip was very careful with how many words he used.

“Look, I’m not going to threaten you or tell you not to hurt her. She can take care of herself.”

Charlie snorted. “Yeah. She can.”

“I’m going to say that she really only needs protection from herself. She’s got a ghost riding on her back, and it’s not one to forgive easily.”

Charlie looked at the Canadian, and recognized his symptoms easily. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

Trip smiled in his vague way. “I think you’d be a little hard pressed to find a man who isn’t a little in love with Evelyn.”

They stood in silence for a minute.

“Look, just...make her happy. I can’t do that for her. I never could. And I know that. But you might have a shot.”

Evelyn came back down the stairs, having changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Later kids.” Trip smiled, flicking away his cigarette and heading up the street to the Leaky Cauldron.

“Did he threaten you?” Evelyn asked.

Charlie laughed. “No.”

“Then what did he say?”

“Ask him.”

She didn’t look happy with that, but he took her hand and pulled her along after him to the pub, so they could apparate to the Burrow.