Blush.

I waited an hour before I couldn’t stand Frank moping about it in his room anymore. I didn’t care if Quinn was home or not. Stomping down the hallway to Frank’s room, I opened the door quickly, before I could back out.

“I need to talk to you.”

“What about? I’m actually trying to clear my head, so be quick,” he grumbled. He was sitting on his bed, cross-legged and frowning.

“I don’t give a shit. I’m sick of being the one who always has to make sure everything’s okay. I always have to smooth things over. You know what? You can get the fuck over yourself and grow up. The other day you said that you were scared of losing me. Well if you’re so fucking scared then maybe you should stop acting like this and actually try and work shit out,” I shouted. I was so mad and I didn’t mean to be such a dickhead, but it just…came out.

Frank’s eyes were wide and I could tell he was completely shocked. I wanted to march over there and slam his jaw shut. I was glaring at him and breathing heavily, but slowly I calmed down. And I almost burst into tears.

I left the room, leaving Frank, and I stomped to my room, slamming the door. I didn’t know what to do. I leant against my door and sank to the ground, tears streaming down my face. I wanted to run back there and apologise, I wanted to beg and grovel at his feet to forgive me but doing that would defeat the purpose of what I’d just shouted at him for.

I felt the vibrations of someone knocking on the door and ignored them.

“Gerard, please. Let me in,” Frank called from the other side of the door. It sounded like he was crying too.

I moved and sat in the middle of the room. The door edged open slowly and Frank’s tearstained face peeked around the side of it. Once his eyes met mine he came into the room and dropped to his knees in front of me.

“Gerard, please. I’m sorry, okay? I don’t want to lose you, I really don’t. It’s just that I can’t go to Mikey’s wedding! You know that. To me it sounds like he’s trying to take you away from me. I know how much he hates me and he knows how much I’ve always needed you. To get back at me all he has to do is take you away,” he sobbed.

“But that’s not going to happen!” I replied, my voice mirroring his. I sniffled loudly.

“It could though!” he shot back.

I reached out and held his hands. “No, Frank. I couldn’t leave you.”

Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back, and I could taste salty tears mingling on our lips. We were both still crying as we kissed and when we broke away we were both silent.

“Promise me that you meant what you said,” Frank whispered, tears still streaming.

“I promise,” I confirmed quietly, “with everything I have. I mean it.”

“Thank you.” And he fell into my arms and started sobbing again. I cried too, but mine were silent. When Quinn came home I was still holding Frank in my arms, calming him.

“So you told him?” Quinn asked, taking in the scene.

I nodded.

“You guys are such pansies. Jesus, it’s just a damn wedding. No biggie.”

“It’s a big deal, especially for Frank,” I shot back defensively.

“A big deal for Frank? No offence Frank, but he’s your brother. Isn’t this a bigger deal for you, Gerard?”

“No, Mikey doesn’t bother me as much as he bothers Frank.”

“Whatever, I still think you two are a pair of pansies,” he laughed. I poked my tongue out at him and Frank turned and glared at him.

“One word, Quinn,” Frank said quietly. “Tampon.”

Quinn’s face coloured slightly. “Fine,” he mumbled. “We’re all pansies, okay?”

Frank and I burst out laughing. After we had all regained our breaths and stopped laughing Quinn asked about the wedding.

“I don’t know. He said he’d call with the details. He also wants me to be his best man,” I confessed, not sure of how they’d both take it.

“Your Mum is gonna be so pissed off when she finds out!” Frank laughed.

“I know, hey?” I was relieved. “Mikey hasn’t even told his wife yet, let alone her.”

“Hate to change the subject from this lovely one,” Quinn started, “but I want to show Frank something. You can’t see yet; it’s a surprise.”

“Okay then,” I sighed, feigning gloominess. They both laughed before walking out of the room. Frank looked back at me and smiled before he disappeared down the hallway which, in turn, made me smile.

Him or us, Gerard. It’s simple,” my mother hissed.

“So you’re making me choose between someone who needs my help and my family?” I retorted, fuming.

“There shouldn’t be a fucking choice!” she shrieked.

“No, there shouldn’t. Because you shouldn’t be making me!”

“You don’t make sense! Your family is your first priority and it always should be, you little monster!”

“Family? You think I classify you as family? Well, guess again mother dearest. That boy, sitting in the next fucking room, is more like family to me than you are at the moment,” I bellowed.

“Get out of my house! I never want to see you again, you disgust me,” she screeched.

“Gladly!” With that, I stomped from the room leaving my delusional mother on her own. In the next room Frank, just a few years younger than I, was crying quietly. When I walked in he looked up at me teary-eyed.

“Gee, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to have this happen, I’m sorry,” he sobbed. His tears streamed down his cheeks faster.

I wiped them away quickly. “This isn’t your fault, Frankie. Come and help me pack my bags.”

“No, go and make up with your Mum! I’ll leave,” he begged, wiping at his tears.

“Frank, no. I can’t stay here anyway, not after that.” I looked at the ground.

“Okay,” he whispered. We both stood and I reached for his hand. He looked up at me and smiled softly, giving my hand a slight squeeze.