Blush.

“Gerard.” I groaned, willing the voices to go away. I was so tired; my dreams were keeping me in a half conscious state and it was awful.

“Gerard, wake up!”

I rolled over just to fall out of my bed. I opened my eyes at that point and realised Frank was standing next to me, looking down at me with wide eyes.

“You awake now?!” he asked urgently. I nodded, dazed, and picked myself up off the floor.

“What do you want, Frank?” I slurred suspiciously, my mind still foggy from sleep.

“You need to come now. Quinn is puking his guts up and he looks like a ghost.”

This piece of information woke me up completely immediately. Alert, I strode out of my room towards the sounds of retching that I had been blocking out for the last hour, I think. No wonder I couldn’t sleep properly.

“How long has he been like this?” I asked, kneeling beside Quinn and pulling back his shaggy hair so it didn’t get covered in vomit and bile.

“About half an hour,” Frank whispered from the door. That explains the extreme restlessness in the last hour then. Quinn mumbled something that neither Frank nor I caught.

“What was that Quinn?” I asked softly.

“I said,” he started in a louder voice, “That I don’t think my digestive system likes pad thai.”

Frank and I cracked a smile at his feeble attempt at humour. It was just like Quinn though; ever the masochist.

“Quinn, just get it all out, okay?” I said, chuckling slightly. Quinn nodded weakly. He retched a few more times before he finally slumped back against me. In a sitting position, I pulled him onto my lap and he curled into a ball in my arms.

Frank snorted and I looked up at him, but he had already walked out of the bathroom so I could only gaze at his back as he disappeared. What was his problem?

Quinn whimpered, which turned my attention back to him, and I rocked him back and forth, humming into his hair. I looked up again when Frank walked into the bathroom wielding a face washer. I smiled at him when he passed it to me.

“Do you want help carrying him back to bed?” he asked bluntly, avoiding my eyes.

“Yeah,” I replied in a hushed voice. I’d talk to him later. Frank kneeled and I shifted Quinn into his arms gently so I could stand. I held out my arms, once standing, for Frank to pass Quinn back to me because I knew Frank wouldn’t be able to carry him the whole way.

But when I took a look at Frank’s face to see how much struggle he was under, I was surprised to see there was none. At least that I could see anyway.

When Frank had placed Quinn safely into my arms we both walked down the hall to his and Quinn’s room. Placing Quinn on the bed gently, I covered his shivering body with a few blankets and swept his hair out of his face warmly.

I stared at Quinn for a while before Frank tapped my arm and gestured towards the door. Frank and I both walked out to the kitchen and sat at the table in silence. Glancing up at the clock I was unsurprised at how early it was.

“Are you okay?” I asked softly, shifting my glance to Frank, watching him closely as he fidgeted with his fingers. Frank’s eyes met briefly with mine before he nodded curtly. In those brief seconds when our eyes had met, I saw a few emotions I hadn’t seen in him for a long time; hesitation and defensiveness.

I raised an eyebrow at his bowed head and snorted. “Bullshit. I know you better than that, Frank Iero and you know I won’t rest until I find out what it is that’s bothering you and making you like this.”

Frank looked up at me and frowned, I think because he knew I was right. I was, and am, a tenacious bastard when I want to be.

“Well, it’s just that you mentioned Mikey last night and…I don’t know it just made me remember just how much you gave up because of me. It makes me feel bad. And I’ve been treating you so badly for the last few days so I feel like a downright dick.” He looked away quickly once he was finished and although he tried to hide it, he flushed pink.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said with a warm smile, trying to comfort him. “I chose to give everything up, so don’t blame yourself. And the last few days don’t matter. We’ve all been a little high-strung lately, so it’s excusable.”

Frank shook his head. “Why do you always have to be fucking optimistic?!” he hissed, “You always see the good in things. Would it hurt you, just for once, to be realistic? You say it’s not my fault, but I do see the bitterness pass through your face when you look at me sometimes, when you think no one is watching.”

I stared, open mouthed, at Frank. I didn’t realise that he had seen that. I never even meant for him to see it. Never.

Fuck.

“Look, Frank. Just because sometimes I feel bitter doesn’t mean it’s coz of you,” I appeased, “And I’m always optimistic because I have to be Frank. Don’t you see that? I have to be. If I wasn’t then what we all have left would crumble to pieces and I would lose what little I have left. And I can’t lose you or Quinn.”

It was Frank’s turn to stare, open mouthed. “I didn’t realise it was that way…All the same though, I am sorry. I’ve made things difficult and if it weren’t for me, you’d have so much more and you wouldn’t be here. Sometimes I wish that you didn’t leave your home.”

I frowned at Frank across the table. “Stop apologizing. What’s done is done and it was my decision to leave,” I said firmly, “You just sound like a walking cliché with all the crap you’re coming out with and it sounds completely and utterly corny.”

He still looked unconvinced but, thankfully, he let it go. We sat for a few more minutes in silence before I suggested going back to bed to get a few more hours sleep.

“Uh, Gerard. I don’t want to wake Quinn up, you know how light a sleeper he is, so can I borrow one of your blankets?” Frank asked softly.

“No way! It’s too cold out there. You can come and sleep in my bed,” I declared, shocked that he would think I would let him sleep on the couch; it was freezing. Frank just stared at me.

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Are you serious?” he asked suspiciously, one eyebrow raised at me delicately. I nodded solemnly and gestured him to follow when I rose and ambled out of the kitchen, down to my room. I glanced behind me to check he was following and I was satisfied to see that he was. I then eased up and relaxed, I even smiled.

“We’re not going to fit,” Frank stated once in my room, obviously trying to get out of it. I shot him a disbelieving look.

“Yes we will. You’re tiny and don’t even take up that much space,” I cried sceptically as quietly as I could. Frank mumbled a short ‘whatever’ before he strode past me, got in my bed and curled up beneath the blankets, shifting over so I had enough room to lie down.

“Thanks,” I murmured, sliding under the blankets that were already quite warm because of Frank. Every time I moved I felt Frank tense up and it started to make me nervous.

“Are you okay?” I whispered. Frank nodded shortly and remained tense. I prodded him under the blankets softly and muttered, “You don’t seem it. Relax a little, I don’t bite.”

Frank relaxed a little and snuggled down into the bed more, still careful not to touch any part of my body with any part of his. Slightly put off, I scrambled around as best I could and snuggled into Frank trying to get him to wrap his arms around me.

Frank wasn’t the cuddliest person but I was and I wanted a hug. But Frank shrank back and just looked at me through the darkness, confused.

“What are you doing, Gerard?” he whispered with a frown. I looked up at him innocently.

“I just want you to hug me. Is that a problem?” I asked my eyes wide with innocence. I liked hugs and sure Frank had been creeping me out lately but whenever someone was in bed with me I just had to have their arms around me or have them cuddling me. Weird, I know, but otherwise I feel uncomfortable and I can’t sleep.

Frank stared at me as if waiting for me to scream out ‘you just got punk’d’ or some shit, but I just kept my eyes locked with his innocently.

“No,” he said grudgingly still confused, “There isn’t a problem.” And with that he wrapped his arms around me and let me snuggle closer into his warm chest. But he was still hesitant so I poked him softly in the stomach, “Relax, you’re making me tense!”

“Sorry,” he mumbled and somewhat relaxed. I smiled and murmured a small thank you before drifting off to sleep for the second time.