A Beautiful Reflection From Firework Eyes

Tony is starting to think that maybe he wasn't cut out for this. The band. The fame, the people. It's no secret he's shy, he doesn't handle people well. He'd thought he would adjust to handling it, and in a way, he has, going out everynight and giving these tiny smiles and giving awkward hugs to the fans, despite his shyness. On stage, it's one thing, he can lose himself in the music and just play, like he loves to do, but the interviews and the recognition that come with being a band... That's the part he wasn't really prepared for.

His mom had warned him before they left to tour the first time that it'd be liike this. She'd voiced her concerns about him doing it because he is shy. Tony had brushed it aside at the time, saying it wouldn't be a problem. He had Jaime.

Tony and Jaime were a package deal from the start. When Vic asked Tony to come jam with him and Mike, Tony brought along Jaime, and somehow it worked that guitar and bass were exactly what they needed to fill out the band. Which was good, because Tony wouldn't have done it had they not had a place for Jaime. There's a reason for that.

In their friendship, they fill the missing sides of each other. Jaime is the mouthpiece Tony doesn't have, Tony is the sense of rationality that Jaime doesn't use. Their friendship works for that reason exactly. And it's helpful, especially to Tony, because Jaime takes a lot of pressure off Tony to answer questions or to be social. He helps calm Tony down, even brings Tony out of his shell a little. And Tony, on the other hand, makes sure Jaime calms down and gets serious when the time arrives.

Tony hadn't been afraid to leave for tour. He had Jaime.

Except, now that they've released Selfish Machines and they're on Warped, it doesn't feel like he does have Jaime. Yes, Jaime is in the band, yes, they sleep on the same bus, yes, they're nearly always together. But it doesn't feel like Jaime is ever completely there anymore.

He has this newfound closeness with Vic that is giving him a newfound distance from Tony. Mike sees it, too, though he doesn't say much, even though he can see the way it's causing Tony to retreat back into his shell like the turtles he loves so much. He can see the sadness that etches Tony's face and the forced happiness when he's around the fans. Tony isn't smiling much, and he's talking less than ever, and that's saying something.

Vic and Jaime don't see. Because if they did see, they'd be fixing it, neither is heartless and both love Tony. So the only explanation is that they don't see it happening. Mike doesn't know how to bring it up. "Hey, Jaime, stop being close to my brother and start being close to Tony again." That doesn't sound like it'd work too well. So he stays quiet. That's all he can do.

Jaime and Vic are off at catering (together; go figure). Tony's not awake, and Mike is sitting and staring at the TV in their RV. It's not turned on, but he doesn't want to get up and turn it on and he can't be bothered to look for the remote. So he just sits and stares at the black screen, trying to use his wizard powers to turn it on. He understands now why he hasn't gotten his Hogwarts lettter. His wizard powers don't work.

Tony comes out of the back bunk in a pair of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajama pants and a faded Star Wars t-shirt, repping his true nerdism. His hair is a mess, and even though he slept longer than anyone in the band, he looks very tired. Which leads Mike to think that maybe he didn't actually fall asleep when they all think he did. He's pretty sure Tony actually has insomnia and just pretends to sleep so no one worries.

"Hey, Turtle," Mike says with a grin.

"Hi," Tony mubles, sitting on the couch with him and rubbing his eyes. "Can we watch a movie? I don't care what it is, you can put in Harry Potter if you want, just..." He trails off, and Mike doesn't have to ask. He realizes that Tony's trying to force a closeness with anyone he can like what he had with Jaime. He refrains from pointing out that it's not going to work, because he and Jaime are very different people, and Tony won't connect with him the same way. Tony looks so hopelessly hopeful that Mike just can't do that.

He stands up after a second of silence and digs through the movies they have at their disposal, finally popping in Star Wars, the first one, even though it is episode IV. Tony had gone on once about how, no, Phantom Menace is not the first movie in the series, A New Hope is, and anyone who says Episode 1 is actually the first movie needs to just never talk to him again.

Tony's eyes light up when he hears the opening soundtrack of the movie and he beams at Mike when Mike sits back down. "Thanks."

"No problem. I just know that if you're asking to watch Harry Potter with me, something is probably wrong. You can spill at anytime, I'm right here."

Tony averts his eyes to the screen, picking at the edge of his shirt. "Jaime and Vic are at catering?" he asks softly.

"Yeah."

"Oh."

And Tony doesn't say anything else. He doesn't have to. They fall into a tense silence, Tony's eyes locked on the screen, Mike's flicking back and forth between the screen and Tony, not sure what to say to fix the sadness he sees in the younger. He realizes that it's not a sadness for him to fix. Jaime really needs to stop being so blind.

---

Mike leaves to go watch a couple bands perform right after the first movie, pausing to put in The Empire Strikes back before he leaves. He asks if Tony wants to come with him, but Tony's too busy being a nerd to go deal with people, and besides, if he's going to go deal with fans,he'd prefer to do it with Jaime, who still has yet to return.

When Jaime does come back to the bus, Tony is asleep on the RV couch. Jaime had lost Vic somewhere between Attack Attack and Motionless in White. And Mike doesn't appear to be on the bus, which would explain why he hasn't pushed Tony off the couch or something.

Jaime stops in the doorway and just watches Tony sleep for a minute. Tony doesn't sleep much. He looks very peaceful, younger than he is when he does. Right now, his hair is a mess, covering his face. He's still wearing his glasses, his Star Wars shirt is riding up a little, and his legs are bent awkwardly to accomodate his height on the tiny couch. Return of The Jedi is playing on the TV, and Jaime smiles. That's the Tony he knows and loves.

He misses that. Tony's been distant lately, and they don't talk as much as they used to. He's not sure what exactly is causing it, but he's gotten closer to Vic through it, and that's good, right? He loves all the members of his band a lot, but he misses the closeness he had with Tony when they started. He's only here because of Tony.

With a small smile, Jaime walks to the couch, carefully taking Tony's glasses off and setting them on the table. He carefully pulls Tony into his arms, less awkwardly than it could be given the height difference. Tony stirs a little, eyes opening.

"What...?" he mumbles sleepily.

"It's just me," Jaime says quietly, and his heart like... swells when Tony instantly relaxes, That should show how close they are. Or. Were, maybe. "I'm just gonna take you back to your bunk so Mike and Vic can use the couch when they come back."

"Okay," Tony agrees with a small yawn, his eyes slipping shut again as Jaime cairries him back to the bunk area. It's not the most graceful thing when Jaime places Tony in his bunk, but Tony doesn't appear to be complaining. Jaime thinks he's fallen back to sleep, but then Tony's fingers curl in his shirt. "Stay," he mumbles.

Jaime doesn't hesitate to crawl into the bunk next to Tony, and he most certianly does not blush when Tony sort of curls into him and lays his head on his chest. Jaime wraps his arm gently around Tony, holding him against his side. He's not going to object. This is probably both physically and mentally the closest they've been since they started Warped tour. Or possibly even before then.

"Can we talk?" Tony whispers, fingers still curled in the front of Jaime's shirt like he thinks Jaime is going to run out as soon as he lets go. And Jaime, to be fair, is completely content right where he is.

"Sure, Tony. Talk about whatever you want, I'm listening."

"Why aren't we as close as we used to be?" Tony asks bluntly, and Jaime's heart stops.

Oh. Tony had noticed it, too, then. And that. That explains so much to Jaime. About why Tony never comes out with them anymore, about why Tony hasn't been talking much, about why Tony has mostly been curled up in his bed the past few days, not doing much more than sleeping and watching Star Wars.

So then... It was Jaime's doing. Jaime hadn't even noticed. He feels guilty as hell. Maybe he'd been too caught up in what he was doing with the fans, all the time spent with Vic, everything else, to see that he'd been unknowingly pushing Tony away from himself. And he'd never meant that to happen. Tony is his best friend, moreso than Vic or Mike or anyone they know outside the band.

"Tony, I'm so sorry," Jaime whispers.

Tony sits up a little, his eyes locking on Jaime'. "What are you sorry for?" he mumbles.

"I hadn't realized that I... I haven't been acting like a good friend to you lately, have I?"

Tony shakes his head quickly. "No, Jaime, you're not a bad friend, you've never been a bad friend. I know that you and Vic are close and that's cool, I mean, I don't want to be like... a dick and say that I have to be your only friend, because I really don't... I don't mind you and Vic being close. I just... Kinda miss you and me, you know? I mean, I understand that... Vic is probably easier to hold a conversation with and---"

"Tony," Jaime says loudly, cutting into Tony's rambling. He only rambles like that when he's nervous about something. "Tony, you are my best friend. I don't care if Vic is the greatest human on this planet--"

"He's pretty close," Tony interrupts, voice very quiet.

"--You are my best friend," Jaime presses on, acting as if Tony hadn't spoken. "And you don't realize how often you have my attention. And I know that, yeah, you're shy, but guess what? I knew that when we met and it never stopped me from wanting to be your friend. You think it makes it hard to hold a conversation? I think it makes the conversations we have even better because you don't talk about things all the time, so it's always something new or interesting or something you've put a lot of thought into. With Vic, I tune him out a lot because what we talk about, we've usually already talked about sixteen times beforehand. But you, you hold my attention without even trying."

Tony lets the song reference go because he's too stunned to speak. He drops his eyes and shakes his head, having absolutely no idea how to respond to that. He'd thought that... Maybe he wasn't a good enough friend for Jaime once the whole band thing started, but he's realizing now that he'd been wrong about it.

"I just thought... He was a better friend than me," Tony mutters lamely, keeping his eyes focused on Jaime's chest instead of his eyes.

"Vic is great. He's an awesome friend. So is Mike. I love them both,and I'm glad we found this band, I'm glad we fit into it so nicely. But Tony, no matter how close I am with either of them, you should never doubt that I love you more than either of them. I know that sounds bad, but... It's been you and me and it will stay you and me. We're a package deal. Remember."

Tony smiles widely, eyes shining when he looks back up at Jaime. "I remember."

"You're so clueless, Tony Perry," Jaime whispers, shaking his head.

Tony's smile fades as quickly as it came. "What...?"

"To ever think that I've placed anyone above you aside from my mom and my brother. You don't seem to get...." Jaime trails off, shaking his head again. "You don't get what you mean to me."

"I... I do now," Tony replies faintly.

"Do you?" Jaime presses. When Tony doesn't answer, Jaime makes a soft noise of discontentment, sliding his hand up to the back of Tony's neck, pushing himself up on his other elbow and pulling Tony until they're centimeters apart. "Do you really, Tony?"

Tony swallows heavily, eyes flicking to Jaime's lips and then back to his eyes. He'd thought.... Vic.... He'd never imagined Jaime... But he... He can't figure out a way to word anything he's thinking. The words don't make sense, and his heart is beating so fast he thinks it's going to burst out of his chest. He's not sure what this all means, he'd never thought Jaime would be attracted to, would ever want... Not the way Tony wanted him. But now that it appears that maybe, maybe Jaime does, Tony is feeling hope coursing through his veins, intensifying with every beat of his heart. And he leans down, closing the distance until his lips are on Jaime's.

Jaime's response is instantanious, lips moving against Tony's slowly, hand pressing more fimrly on Tony's neck to keep him right where he is. He's felt, he's wanted this for.. since before they were even in Pierce the Veil and he'd always kept it hidden because he didn't know, he doubted whether Tony ever felt the same. And he'd only taken such a risk because he wanted, needed Tony to know why no one else could ever mean so much to him. Tony is about 70% of Jaime's impulse control and about 90% of his heart.

It had been a risk to even... but a risk that had paid off.

Tony is the first to pull away, his eyes opening slowly to look at Jaime's again. There's something Jaime can't place in them. Like doubt, uncertainty. Like... Fear. "How long?" Tony whispes hoarsely.

"Since before Trigger My Nightmare," Jaime admits softly. "I just didn't know how to say... Or what to do. I didn't think you felt the same."

"You should've," Tony mumbles with a laugh, and Jaime laughs, too.

"No more worries about you not being a good enough friend or anything like that, okay? I didn't realize I was making you feel that way. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Tony remarks, laying back down with his head on Jaime's chest again, his ear over Jaime's heart. "We're okay."

"Yeah," Jaime smiles. "We're okay. We'll always be okay."

He runs his fingers absently through Tony's hair, listening to Tony's breathing mellow out and his body relax as he falls asleep, and he thinks that, yeah. Tony Perry and Jaime Preciado. They'll always be a package deal.