In Darkness & in Light

The smell of scrambled eggs and turkey bacon awoke John from his much needed deep sleep. He sniffed the air a few more times before he opened his eyes, as much as he wanted to stay in his bed, he couldn't quite ignore the painful rumbling in his stomach. Yawning wide, he stretched his limbs; his knuckles banging against his head board. Wincing for only a moment, he decided it was time to get himself out of bed, he figured that sleeping for sixteen hours was enough for one day. He would have plenty of time to sleep over the next few weeks, something he looked forward to.

Climbing out of bed, he reached for a wrinkled tshirt and threw it on. Opening his bedroom door, he trudged into the kitchen; where the smell of an actual breakfast filled his nostrils. The monster in his belly roared with hunger, clutching the part of his body that ached, he groaned, "I'm starving."

His mother who had been whispering to the rest of the family stopped short and smiled wide, "Good morning, I see you decided to be social." She whipped up a big plate for her eldest son and placed it on the breakfast bar for him to eat.

The whispering hadn't gone unnoticed, taking a seat; he shoveled a few forkfuls of eggs into his mouth before speaking, "What were you whispering about?"

"Nothing!"

John rose a brow, out of all the members in his family; his mother was the worst liar. "Right. But, seriously. Why do I have to be out of the loop on things?"

Jay sighed, giving his wife a look. "Can't keep it a secret forever Jen."

Jenny bit her lip, she didn't want to spring this kind of information on him as soon as he came back from tour. She wanted him to relax and then ease into the subject. She argued with herself in her mind, he had the right to know and he would be awfully upset with her if she kept it from him. "It's nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing." He said with pieces of bacon flying out of his mouth. Clearing his throat, he put the fork down, curious to know what had his mother so hush hush. "What is it, mom?"

She locked her jaw a few times before reaching into the junk drawer for something. After watching her fumble through it, John remembered hearing her slam it shut when he walked into the kitchen. If his attention wasn't a hundred percent before, it was now. Jenny clutched the envelope tightly in her hand before handing it off to John, "Just know that I wasn't going to keep it from you completely, I was just waiting for the right time to show you."

John was confused, looking down at the envelope, his eyes caught sight of a very familiar handwriting. Sprawled across the center in a beautiful looped script was the name O'Callaghan Family. His eyes fixated on the handwriting, wondering why she was writing or even sending them anything. It had been a few years since any of them had even spoken to her. Flipping it over, he pulled out a thick piece of paper with laced decor. In big bold letters on the page read, Mr. and Mrs. Nash together with Mr. and Mrs. Anderson request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children Rowan Sage and Henry Taylor...John tore his eyes away from the page.

He glanced up at his parents worried faces, his brothers wouldn't even look at him. Sliding the invitation back in, it was stopped short by another piece of paper. He yanked it out after a few seconds of trying to shove it in. His blood was almost boiling and was overcome with emotions he didn't know how to handle. He shoved both papers back inside and stood up from the bar.

"You haven't finished your food." Jenny's heart faltered in her chest, she couldn't read her son's emotions.

"I'm not hungry anymore." He stated as he headed down the hallway, not caring what his parents were thinking. John had recalled a moment when his mother and father had him sat on the couch to have him rethink his priorities. There was a time where he had spiraled out of control with his drinking and one night stands that his parents were worried what long term effect it would have on their son. Rowan was also one of the people that wanted him to stop what he was doing. She would always look at him with the kind of look in her eyes that always read, 'What are you doing to yourself?' They had stressed that he needed to slow down and think about things other than his music, not that they wanted him to quit but to have someone to look forward to instead of his bed and solitude. They wanted him to settle down and more importantly with Rowan.

John sat down on his bed, his hand raking through his freshly cut sandy brown hair. He missed Rowan, it had been a good few years since they had last spoken; at least three years. Shortly after their release of Black&White, Rowan went her separate ways. John had known her since the middle of their sophomore year of high school, she had moved to Arizona from Maryland mid way into the school year. He took her under his wing the minute he found out every bone in her body was musically inclined. Rowan became a big part of the band, she would be right there with them whenever they used to sneak out to go to that old parking garage at 8123 Broad Street. She fit right in with all of them, everyone always making sure she would be there with them for their crazy antics.

So, it wasn't a surprise when she started to get worried when John started to party harder and harder. Everyone always whispered among themselves that John and Rowan were something more than friends and sometimes he almost believed it. He'd almost get jealous whenever she would flirt with other guys and dance with them but he knew that he had no room to say or do anything about it with himself being involved with the amount of girls he was with. But, at the same, Rowan was one of those girls he couldn't shake from his head.

They had kissed once. It was at a Christmas party Kennedy had thrown at his parents' house one year after they released their Christmas EP. They had gotten caught under the mistletoe and with plenty of spiked egg nog and lots of beer, they didn't think anything more than two friends being pressured to kiss. John could almost taste her lips as he thought about that moment, the faint taste of egg nog and vanilla chapstick. In that moment a feeling crept out of the dark, revealing that she was someone he never wanted to let go but his mind wouldn't be able to fight the urge of the other girls wanting his attention.

After Black&White was released, John couldn't control his alcohol. He would be drunk constantly, half the time he would perform well over the legal limit anyone should ever be. He was enjoying himself but wasn't taking into consideration how it was making everyone else feel around him. Rowan tried to help him but once he started to dabble in drugs, it became a whole different story and she gave up. It was a battle she couldn't fight for him and she refused to watch him crumble, so she did the best thing she could do. Leave and cut ties. It didn't bother John until after he had sobered up and realized what kind of mess he had caused but after a few months, the absence of her presence started to fade and soon, he had almost forgotten what a joy it was to have her around. He never forgot Rowan, little things would remind him of her and sometimes he would overhear Jared and Garrett exchanging conversations that involved her. But, now founding out she was getting married, stirred the pot and he was feeling things he had never felt before about a person. Anger, resentment, fear, miserable, crushed, and everything else involved with those emotions.

John picked up his phone, scrolling through until he found Jared's number, listening to it a ring a few times, Jared finally answered on the fourth ring. "Who the fuck is Henry Anderson?"