In Darkness & in Light

Summer 2009

Rowan weaved her way in and out of the drunken, dancing bodies. Her ears were aching from the volume of the music that was blaring all throughout the cabin. She was sure that the cops would be called if the music got any louder. They had taken over her parents' cabin and even though very few people owned them in South Mountain Park, it wouldn't surprise her to find the few trying to enjoy the beginning of the summer. Especially the Hawkins', they were the rudest people she could have ever known and they're cabin was just a few miles away.

She was trying to find someone she knew, everyone that she had passed by was not a familiar face. Rowan was beginning to regret ever giving the guys the idea to throw their pre release party at the log house. She received very strict rules from her parents on what was allowed to happen and she broke every single rule they gave her. Running a hand through her dark brown curls, she groaned in aggravation; not that anyone could hear to ask if she was alright.

"Ro!"

Her ears and eyes strained to find the person that called her one of the many nicknames her close friends had for her. Finally, she found Jared half standing on a side table with his hands hovering over his mouth. She barreled through the crowd and attacked him with a hug, "Holy shit, finally I found someone!"

Jared laughed, "Did you just get here?" He yelled, trying to mouth every one of his words in case she couldn't hear him. Rowan nodded, deciding that it was pointless to even try to communicate under their circumstances. Jared caught her mood and motioned for her to follow him out the back door, it was a lot quieter down by the lake.

Rowan felt relieved to be away from the blaring music, her ears rang with relief and her head was beginning to settle from her headache. She followed Jared down the little five minute trail to the lake where everyone she knew was sitting by their makeshift fire. She plopped down beside Kennedy and rubbed her head, "You guys have the right idea." Turning her head slightly, she breathed, "Where did they come from?"

Kennedy shrugged as he reached beside him and pulled out a Corona from the cooler, popping the top off, he handed it to her, "Beats me. Word of mouth, I guess. I know like six people inside and that's it."

Taking a long swig, she leaned back in the chair, "I hope no one else shows up. Or else I'm going to be dead. I can only imagine how trashed it's going to be in there.

Pat twirled his drumsticks in his hand, "I think Nick and Eric are still coming."

"If it gets too crazy, I might have to end this little party sooner then expected. Obviously you guys and those two can stay but the others will have to go." She took another long swig before she rose a brow, "Where's John?"

Jared sighed, squatting down to sit on a log, "Where else, right there in the midst of it all." He noticed the look in Rowan's eyes, the same look she's had for the past few months. He sort of felt bad for her, he knew deep down inside, she was suppressing feelings for John and it was the same the other way around. He remembered back when she had first moved to Arizona, John was all about Rowan; whether it was a liking kind of way or not, he was infatuated with her. Jared wasn't sure about Rowan at first, she seemed way too innocent to be hanging around them at the time but after a few times of being around all of them, it took no time for her to shed that innocence.

"Right."

Kennedy glanced over, "Hey, come on. It's a party, let's all enjoy ourselves." He placed his half drank bottle in the air, "A toast for The Maine in releasing our second full length album!"

Rowan obliged and held her Corona in the air with the rest of them. She laughed along to everyone's jokes and stories, almost forgetting how worried and irritated she was at John for not slowing down. She understood that the music industry was full of temptations but she felt like it shouldn't all be given into. She just couldn't bear to think that he was wasting away and not coming through to his full potential. However, it was fun time otherwise, all of them gathering their instruments and playing old songs around the fire, all of them pressuring Rowan to sing for them. She loved nights where they would all just mess around and have fun, it shielded her mind from her having to grow up.

She had gotten herself a nice little buzz, manning up to show them what she had been working on. As much as music was a big part of her life, her parents didn't condone her to be in a band or becoming a musician. So, she had gotten herself enrolled in Arizona State to become a Physical Therapist. Rowan was hoping she wouldn't have to start her clincials until the boys went back on tour, she missed them a lot whenever they were gone. Rowan hadn't made a lot of friends other than the ones that were affiliated with The Maine, why would she? Those guys were the best, always looking out for her.

Jared, Kennedy, Pat, and Garrett all watched and listened to Rowan strum on Jared's acoustic and sing in her chilling indie sounding voice. Kennedy could listen to Rowan sing all night if he had the chance too, she had a captivating, unique voice that was hard to copy. He picked up his own guitar and added a very chords, smiling as her smile widened. Pat tapped his foot to find the tempo, taking his drum sticks; he started to tap along to the log both him and Jared sat on. It wasn't long before Jared and Garrett joined in with their series of pats, claps,and stomps.

After she had finished, she let out a satisfying groan. "You guys just made it even better."

Garrett chuckled, "We just joined in, it sounds beautiful the way you had it."

Rowan pulled her knees to her chest after he handed the guitar back to Jared, she let out a distressed sigh, "I wish I could just go on the road with you guys and do what I really want to do."

"So why don't you?" Pat asked, he brushed his long hair out of his face with his hands, looking at Rowan with intent eyes.

She snorted, picking at a loose thread in her pants, "It's not that easy, Patty. My parents would disown me and kick me out."

"You'd have plenty of places to go, Rowboat."

She half smiled, "You think?" Rowan loved Pat with all her heart, it was the most naive and thoughtful person she had ever met. He couldn't hurt a fly even if he tried, he was just the sweetest friend she could ever know.

"Hell yeah," Kennedy chimed in. Shaking his head at the thought of Rowan thinking she would be left out on the streets. "You know my parents house is up for grabs, Jared's apartment would be good."

Jared snickered, "We all know that if Ro got kicked out of her house, Jenny and Jay would throw Ross and Shane in a room together and give her a room." Taking a beer from the cooler, he smiled, "But, for some chance that they didn't offer you a place, my apartment would be yours too."

Rowan was about to respond with her gratitude for if she ever felt ballsy to give up her college degree to head out on the road but the voice of a very drunken John stopped her before she could even get a sound out. "Nash, baby. Where have you been all my life?" John stumbled down the trail and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, his head burying itself in her curly hair. He struggled to make his way around the front but his off balanced walk was almost about to send him into the fire.

Rowan yanked him down in front of her, "Yeah, let's just sit down, kid." She pulled him away from the fire and let his head rest on her knee, "Just stay down."

John turned his head slightly, his finger pointing at her, "Actually it's just stay up and get down." He laughed for a moment at his little reference and threw back the rest of his beer. Leaning back on her leg, he sighed, "I'm going to have an raging fucking hangover tomorrow."

"Then you should probably stop drinking for the night." Rowan spat.
John's eyebrows knitted together as he heard her venomous tone, "Hey, hey, hey. What's with the hostility, Nash?"

Bringing the bottle of Yuengling she had been nursing before the song to her mouth, she shook her head, "There's no hostility." She wouldn't look at him, she couldn't. She could feel her blood boiling, how could he enjoy getting trashed every single night?

John sighed, he used her as a crutch to stand up, "Come on, let's take a walk."

Jared could see the anger rising in her face, "Maybe you should just sit until you sober up a little, man."

John waved at him, shaking his head, "No. Nash and I need to talk, let's go." He grabbed her by her hands and pulled her up from the chair causing her beer to drop and land perfectly upright in the grass. Slinging an arm around her shoulder, he motioned towards the wooded trail that would eventually lead to the Hawkins' property. After a few minutes of walking and making sure that they were good length away from listening ears, he stopped walking. He faced Rowan and spoke softly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Oh for fucks sake, Nash." He swayed a little in his step, trying to get his mind clear so he could talk things out. He ran a hand through his hair, "I've known you long enough to know when you're lying."

Rowan sucked in air, her hands coming up to lace behind the back of her head. She looked him straight in his hazel eyes, her bottom teeth scraping against her lip. "I just don't understand how you can drink yourself into oblivion and be perfectly find to do it again the next night."

"I'm not that drunk - "

"- maybe not tonight but what about tomorrow night or the night after that? I'm worried about you, John. I don't want to wake up to a phone call saying that you've gotten alcohol poisoning and that you needed your stomach pumped but died before they could do it."

John stood for a moment, squinting his eyes to adjust to the darkened night. He was fixated on her half worried and half angry expression. "You think I'll let it get that far?"

Rowan shrugged, shaking her head at the thought of it actually happening. She crossed her arms across her chest, "You'll never know unless you take it there."

John reached out of her arm, pulling her close to his chest, he hugged her tight. Resting his cheek on the top of her head, he squeezed, "I'll take it easy, just for you Nash."

She closed her eyes, "Just don't cross that line."