In Darkness & in Light

Present Day

Rowan felt exhausted, she had driven two and a half hours back home to figure out some wedding details with her mother. Being with her was tiring, there was a reason why Rowan jumped at the chance to move with Henry to Flagstaff. He had gotten a great job being a Pediatrics Doctor at their hospital. Rowan had transferred all her credits from Arizona State to Northern Arizona to finish out her Physical Therapy degree. She had one more year until she was finished and able to join Henry at Flagstaff Medical. It was a bittersweet feeling to be away from home, she had practically packed up her bags and went away with Henry within three months of dating. But, if it counted for anything; Henry had always had his eye on Rowan from the moment he had met her. Back then, he knew she was preoccupied with someone else but he waited patiently. He was seven years her senior and a year after he had graduated, he had taken the opportunity to snag Rowan Nash for himself.

Rowan had always thought of Henry to be a sweet guy but she had never taken an interest until she was almost heartbroken from John that she took him up on his offer. She needed to distance herself and so off to Flagstaff she went. Leaving nothing but her ghost in Tempe. She had also taken the move to get herself away from her mother's constant complaining about how her father had moved on after their divorce. All her life, she had to deal with her parents being unhappy and always fighting.

She rubbed her face as her mother brought out yet another horrid gown, her nose flared in disgust, "No. Absolutely not." She collapsed onto the ottoman that sat in the middle of the David's Bridal shop, her hand covering her eyes at the second dress that had tacky flowers trailing up and down the sides.

Bridgette sighed in frustration, "You've said no to every single dress I've picked out for you!"

"Well, maybe if you knew what kind of style I like, it wouldn't a long string of no's." She looked up from her hand, her face reading how tired she was from having been around the whole state of Arizona for the day. She was dreading the drive back home and she almost contemplated on staying with her mother for the night. Rowan was beginning to get a headache from being around her mother, "I'll find the one when I find it." She stood up from her seat and walked along the wall where it houses more dresses, running her hand along the various fabrics, she murmured out, "I don't even know if I want to get married next year."

"You have no choice, I've already sent the invitations out." Bridgette mumbled.

"We can always postpone it," this was the first time that she had actually doubted the idea of marriage between herself and Henry. She loved him, absolutely adored him but something inside of her felt different since she had stepped foot back in Tempe. She felt a weird sensation since she had picked out the color scheme and flowers. And it felt even weirder to be looking at dresses. "I don't know, I just feel like it's too soon." Rowan turned to look at Bridgette, "I'm graduating right before and I'd have to wait till after the honeymoon to apply to Flagstaff..."
It was odd for her daughter to confide in her for anything. Bridgette took to the heart, she walked towards her daughter who resembled more of her ex husband than anyone, "Slow down, Rowan. You don't need to find a job right away, you've been in school and working non stop for the last nine years."

"I know, but..." She trailed off, frowning at how unexciting her life had been since she had left home. Rowan had worked her butt off for the last few years to get herself to be able to graduate on time. When she was with the boys, she had goofed around and skipped class and failed some too. Those were the fun days where she just stayed outside and played music until dark. "I feel like I haven't accomplished anything until I get a job."

"Didn't Henry take a few months off? I'm sure he isn't going to object if you do the same. Come home for a little bit, spend time with your sisters and I. Maybe even go see your father and Vanessa."

Rowan giggled. She didn't doubt that her mom still loved her dad but she felt like some people were meant to be together and some just weren't no matter how hard they tried. Her parents were a prime example, they were made for each other but not meant for each other. She never understood it when her aunt would tell her that until she saw how unhappy they were. "I think Henry wants kids."

Bridgette snorted, "Wait as long as you can. Make sure the both of you are ready because that was the downfall of your father and I. He was ready and I wasn't and I - believe it or not - hated him for sabotaging me." Running her hand through her daughter's hair, she smiled lightly, "Don't get me wrong, I love you girls but I wish he would have waited until after I was ready because I hated the four beautiful reasons of my existence for a long time."

"Is that the reason you guys never got along?"

"Sadly. Him not listening to me all four times is the reason I am the way that I am, I guess. I hated him for taking away my life. I couldn't go back to school when I had you girls. I had to become a stay at mom, forfeit my dreams of being anything I wanted to be. I guess the reason why I was so hateful towards him is because he robbed me of the one thing I couldn't have and he could."

Rowan stood in shock, all those years she had thought her mother was heartless for being so mean to her father. She had hated her at one point, deciding that if they ever divorced in time that she would go off with her father. She blamed her mother for being the reason her father would stay up most nights because he was just too worn down to try to sleep. She understood now, it was kind of hurtful to know that her mother once hated her but how would she feel to know that Rowan had once hated her too.

She was distracted from her thoughts at the little ping sound her mother's blackberry made. She watched as her mother pulled her phone out of her purse. Bridgette smiled wide, "Well, the O'Callaghan's confirmed for five - "

"- what?" Rowan snapped. Her head turned slightly, her eyes squinting. Did she just hear what she thought she heard?

You know, Jenny and Jay?" Bridgette rose a brow, kind of surprised to think she didn't remember, "You can't seriously tell me that you've forgotten about the boy that basically corrupted you when we moved here." She didn't like John and his friends at first, they encouraged her musical genes and as much as Bridgette knew her daughter was talented, she knew that it was a hard industry to get into and she wanted to spare her daughter's disappointments.

Rowan's heart raced, "I told you I decided not to invite them..." She started to feel painicky, "I threw that invitation in the trash." He was the last person she wanted at her wedding.

"Yes, you did but I thought you'd regret not having your best friend and second family attend your big day." Bridgette seemed completely oblivious to her panicked expression, she glanced down at her phone to open a few emails from other people that would attend the wedding, "I also dug around in the attic and found your old yearbook and asked the rest of those kids you used to hang out with too."

"You what?" She squeaked out, her eyes closing, "You invited all of them?"

""Mhm, pretty much. All the faces I could remember, at least. Might have missed a few but I'm sure that they'll come as somebody's plus one."

Rowan swallowed hard, her headache slowly becoming worse. It had been five years since she had moved on from that part of life, having it been three since she had last spoken to John. Rowan had spoken to some of the guys within the last year or so but not long enough for her to feel obligated to invite them but at the same time, these were her best friends. People who took her in and cared for her and always included her in things without a second thought. "I haven't talked to them in forever, mom."

"I know," she said. Looking up from her phone, she smiled, "I think it's important that they be there for your big day." Finally noticing her look, she started to frown, "Was that a problem?"

"Yes!" She cried out, rubbing her hands all over her face. "There was a reason why I didn't add them on my guest list. I moved on from that part of my life, you should be happy! I dropped the people that were influencing my music."

Bridgette chewed on her lip, "Honey, I never wanted you to stop talking to them. I wanted you to realize that music is a hard path to follow. The boys lucked out and to be honest with you Rowan, you seemed a lot happier when you were talking to them."

Rowan rolled her eyes, "It wouldn't have been that hard."

"Yes, it would have, for you." Rummaging through her purse for her lipstick, "I also messaged one of them to see if they'd be interested in performing - "

" - you asked if they wanted to play at my wedding." It was more of a statement than a question because at this point, Rowan could believe she would do this without her knowledge.

"Well, yeah. They are a band and they aren't that bad. Have you heard their new stuff? It's very nice to listen to." Putting on her lipstick, she chuckled, "I even offered to pay them but they said they would never charge you."

"The Maine is playing at wedding? Oh god."