Love Isn't Something You Can Beat

I hate Ethan. Well perhaps hate isn’t the word. He’s better than me in every way possible. There wasn’t a thing where I beat him. One minute, I’m at the top of the world and the next I’m kicked off. And that’s not the worst part of it.

I think I love him.

Yes, I think I have fallen in love with a guy who is superior to me. Way to set up my expectations right? He’s everything I want because he is everything that I’m not. Yeah I listen to Taking Back Sunday too much. So sue me. Anyways I bet that’s why he’s so perfect. He doesn’t get distracted as easily as I do. And with no procrastination then there lies a somewhat perfect life.

It can get much worse though. He isn’t even stuck up. I mean he’s got all these talents, but he’s still humble, modest, and a gentleman. If he was mean than I’d have a right to hate him, but since he’s not all that of this is just jealousy and envy.

Don’t forget love...

Yes that too. It’s a strange feeling when you hate that you love the person that you would love to hate. If that makes sense—which in my head it does. He’s everything. Knowing that is pretty scary, especially when I used to be everything. Still a little friendly competition never hurt anyone right?

Although to be honest, this is anything but.

***

“Hey Annabelle, how’s your day so far?” Ethan asked politely as I walked to my desk. Incidentally my calculus AP teacher had found it amusing to sit us next to each other. It was her idea of a fun little experiment, but it was my idea of a sick joke. It’s bad enough that I’m now reduced to number two, but I’ve got to sit next to him and actually acknowledge him. Not that he knows how I feel about him—the love/hate thing—nor does anyone else for that matter. As far as anyone knows I’m on speaking terms with him.

“It’s all right Ethan. And yours?” I replied, setting my stuff down.

“It’s good.” He said, and with that, turned to leave and talk to one of his few friends. It’s strange because even though he’s superior, most people still regard me as the genius. Whereas Ethan hasn’t got a lot of friends or recognition that he has earned. Despite the fact that he has bested me, there are a lot of great qualities that come with Ethan Bennett. For one thing he’s neither too serious nor is he too carefree. If you are having a terrible day he will attempt to make you feel better by saying the silliest things. You should see what he’s like when he gets excited, he just perks and brightens up.

The way the light brightens his already sparkling eyes. The way his hair sticks up in the back and consists of dark brown and black. He’s got quite a few flaws though. Oh, I haven’t found them, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there right?

“Hey what’s up Annie?” a voice pulled my head out of the clouds. I looked up and saw that it was Mark, one of my friends.

“What are you doing here Mark? You haven’t got this class.” I asked standing up to hug him. After a bit we let go.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m saving you a seat in my car so that we can go out to lunch instead of being reduced to eat what this school’s cafeteria so boldly calls food.” He said, his nose wrinkling up in disgust. I laughed.

“Come on Mark, it’s not that bad.” I said. “But thank you very much. Come here after this is over, all right?”

“Yeah okay, sure.” He said. “I’ve got to go now before the teacher goes completely nuts on me again for being late.” And with that he left the classroom. I went back to sit down in my seat. I glanced at the clock. 11:08. Mark only had about a minute left to get to class. He’ll make it though. It’s only about three doors down. I got out my notebook and my favorite pen, ready to take notes. I placed my pen on top of my notebook, waiting for the bell to ring. Pretty soon it did and everyone went back to their seats.

Mrs. Adders took role quickly and told us all to get ready to take notes. Predictable, we hardly ever did anything but take notes. I glanced around as everyone took out the materials. Did I mention that I sit in the front? But it should have been a bit obvious that Mrs. Adders would turn out to be that sort of person.

My class consisted of roughly eighteen students—give or take. Only three of us were juniors, the others were seniors. None of my friends were in my class and with good reason too. They all hated math with such intensity that I couldn’t understand. For me, math was incredible; it was the only thing that was common knowledge. In every country numbers would always remain the same. Anyways there were only three juniors: me, Ethan, and his friend Nick. However Nick sat all the way in the back surrounded by seniors.

“Class today you’ll need to use your textbooks, so please take them out.” Mrs. Adders called from her desk. Shit I thought to myself. The one time I don’t bring that book is the one time I need it. I looked to see if Ethan had forgotten his as well. If he had then, I’d feel a bit better even though we would both get told off by our teacher. However I had forgotten who I was talking about. This was Ethan and of course Ethan had his book. There was no choice but to ask him to share. This is what it all has come down to. I shook my head and turned to Ethan.