Screaming Gestures

~108 ~ 3282

When I woke up the next morning, I was in my own bed. I also was alone, Derek nowhere in sight. I sighed and sat up in bed, looking around the room. A big part of me was a little upset that he would have bailed after carrying me to my room. I didn’t find a note and I wasn’t left with a text message, Derek was just gone. Carter’s sweatshirt was balled up in my hand and I decided that it would be part of my wardrobe for school. I also remembered that I didn’t have car keys so I would need a ride if I wanted to avoid my mother.

I sent Lydia a text asking her if she could pick me up on her way to school. Once it was sent, I changed into another pair of jeans and a tshirt, throwing the sweatshirt on overtop.

I’m already at the school. Stiles lives a few houses down. Can I ask him if he’ll get you? Lydia responded.

Anything to get away from my mother. I joked. Then I brushed my teeth and grabbed my backpack to go downstairs.

Stiles will be there in a couple minutes.

Thanks! I walked down the stairs after sending the last message. I avoided my mother’s gaze and her likely questions about why I was wearing Carter’s hoodie. I walked around the kitchen table, giving my father a quick hug around his shoulders. I also needed breakfast, so I grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet and a water bottle from the fridge before exiting the house without another word.

Thankfully, Stiles pulled up to my house moments later.

I waved at him and then pushed myself into his ratty Jeep. After closing the door, I looked over at him. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“No problem.” He said before he pulled away from the curb.

I stared out the windshield for a long while, not really knowing what to say to the boy that I didn’t know. Well, I guess I might have known him. I knew that he liked to Google search some really weird shit. Halfway to the school, I turned my head towards him.

Stiles was talking animatedly, moving his free arm in circles with his words. He was caught mid-sentence and I realized I had no idea he had been talking to me.

“You do remember that I’m deaf, right?” I asked him, interrupting him. I turned in my seat so I could look at him straight on and pay attention to how his lips moved.

Stiles looked caught. “Uh, well, yes. And no.” He admitted. “Not in that moment.”

I tightened my lips into a straight line and nodded once.

“Sorry.” Stiles said.
“It’s okay. It happens a lot, actually.” I told him. I paused for a moment before speaking again. “So, what were you saying?”

Stiles glanced to me and then back to the road. “I was wondering about your hoodie. Basketball hasn’t really been a thing at Beacon Hills in a long time.”

“It’s, uh, it’s my brother’s. He graduated from Beacon Hills, like, six years ago.”

“You have a brother?” Stiles asked, legitimately surprised.

I guessed that Lydia hadn’t told him anything about me. I thought for a moment, wondering what I should say to him. “I do.” I decided.

Stiles nodded, before catching onto something more. “Wait, you used to live here?”

I shrugged. “I think that’s implied with my comment about my brother graduating from here.”

“Right.” Stiles didn’t say anything else after that. He spent the rest of the time, driving in silence.

When we got to the school, I got out of the Jeep, starting my trek inside. “Thanks for the ride.” I called. What I didn’t expect was for Stiles to run to get in front of me.

Stiles stopped himself a couple steps in front of me, not allowing me to go any further up the path.

I looked at him confused, and cocked my head to the side. “Yes?”
Stiles pulled both straps of his backpack onto his shoulders. “Look, I know that for whatever reason you can’t drive right now. I also know, you’re hard up for a ride.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Stiles kept going.

“Lydia told me that you were practically desperate.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes at the statement. My shoulders fell in embarassment. “No, she didn’t.”

“She did.” Stiles laughed nervously.

I started to twist my hands together, moving them around wildly with my nerves. “I’m really not desperate.” I pleaded with Stiles, hoping he’d hear me. “I promise, I just really didn’t want to - ”

“Hey,” Stiles said, grabbing my hands to hold them still. “Whatever it is, it’s your business.”

I stared down at his hands for a moment, before he shook them, moving my attention back to his lips.

“I live just a couple houses down, so if you want a ride, all you have to do is ask.”

I shook my head. “Look, Stiles, thanks for today, and for the offer. But I’m okay. Thanks.” I hurried around Stiles, pushing myself into the school on a mission. I couldn’t believe that Lydia would say that to this kid. She didn’t know me and I didn’t really know Stiles. Who was she to tell him that I was desperate?

Finally, I spotted Lydia at her locker. The door to it was opened, blocking my view of the redhead. I walked up to her angrily. “What the hell, Lydia?”

Lydia closed her locker door, meeting my gaze. “What?”

“Telling Stiles that I was desperate for a ride? Are you kidding?”

Lydia bit her lip, pointing to CJ. “He wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

“Yeah, well, he did. And, for some reason, I’m really glad that he did.” I told her. “I don’t need him to pity me, Lydia.”

“I know.” Lydia signed. “I didn’t mean desperate like you were sad desperate. I just meant it in that you really needed a ride.”

“I don’t need you telling people anything about me.”

“I didn’t tell him anything.” Lydia said. “I just said that you needed a ride. Not that you needed a lay.”

“Lydia!” I gasped, hoping that it was as quiet as I wanted it to be.

Lydia sighed. “Stiles is a nice guy, alright. I just thought that you could use a few friends.”

I shook my head at her. “I don’t want your help making friends. I don’t need your help, okay?” I calmed myself with a deep breath. “You can’t offer me up to Stiles thinking that I’m just going to be friends with your friends.”

“I’m sorry.”

I nodded. “He is a good guy.” I relented. “But I don’t want a pity friend. If Stiles wants to be friends with me, he should do it because he wants to. Not because you told him to.”

“You are definitely right.” Lydia told me.

“Good. Glad we agree on that.” I smiled, before turned to go to class.

Lydia put a hand on my arm to stop me.

I turned back to her, raising my brow to her.

“But you should know that he’s been asking me about you.”

I scoffed at her, certainly not believing that.

“I’m serious.” Lydia smirked, leaning against her locker. “I haven’t told him anything, not even about your brother. That doesn’t mean that he’s not asking.”

“If he wants to know anything about me, it’s because I’m the new girl he knows nothing about.” I reminded her. “I’m the shiny, new toy that he wants to know, but there’s nothing all that interesting about me that he should know.”

“What?” Lydia questioned. “There’s so much that’s interesting about you, CJ. I mean, you know sign language.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, confused. “Because I’m deaf, not because I chose it as an elective.”

“Still, CJ, you’re so great. And you’re beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to know you?”

I laughed at her. “Okay, I’m gonna go to class before you start pimping me out to any of your other friends.”

“CJ…”

“Please, don’t.” I stopped, practically begging her. “I don’t even want to think about boys, okay? Yes, Stiles is nice, but we can’t…” I sighed, trying to come up with the words. “I have a hard enough time keeping up in normal conversation with you, and you actually know a few signs. I get the jist of what you say, but Stiles doesn’t know anything.”

“Yet.” Lydia said, giving her some hope.

“He doesn’t even sit still long enough for me to be able to read his lips.” I admitted to her. “I learned that on the way here.”

Lydia shrugged. “Give him a chance.”

I formed my lips into a straight line, shaking my head. “I’m not sure if I can.” My phone vibrated in my pocket and then Lydia turned her ear up at the first bell.

Lydia showed me a small smile and sighed. “Let’s go.” she said, grabbing my arm to pull me towards class.

I took my normal seat in front of Lydia and unpacked all of my things, waiting for Ms. Blake to enter and class to start, before I started on my own work.

As usual, I saw Stiles and Scott stride in just as the late bell rang. Stiles passed me a dorky smile and a wave through the strap of his backpack.

I nodded at him once, feeling the blush rise to my cheeks. I sucked both lips between my teeth and turned to look at Lydia.

Lydia raised a brow and tilted her head, trying to hide her smile.

I let out a long breath and turned back to the front. I wasn’t able to focus on my work during class. Not that it mattered, since I was at least a week ahead of everyone else in my work. But I couldn’t get what Lydia said out of my mind. I couldn’t get Stiles out of my mind. What did Stiles ask Lydia about? Was he pestering her with questions right now? Why would Stiles want to know things about me anyway? Of course, the thought had crossed my mind that he was just a curious kid. It made sense if his father was the sheriff. Stiles would have a natural paranoia about him. Maybe he was afraid of me, because I was new and talking to Lydia. Maybe he was, yet, another guy that would chose Lydia.

My phone vibrated in my lap and I started packing up my things. A moment later, everyone else around me started moving to pack their things. A slip of paper appeared on my desk on my right. I looked at it and then tilted my head up to see where it came from.

Stiles stood next to my desk.

I furrowed my brow at him. “What?”

Stiles opened his mouth to talk, but then stopped. He turned behind him, pulling the kid out of the desk next to me and taking his seat. Stiles turned to face me. “It’s my phone number.” He said, pointing at the paper. “There’s no pressure to use it, but if you do end up needing a ride, you can text me.”

I glanced down at the paper on my desk and then looked back to him. I was shocked. First, by the fact that I was actually holding a paper with his phone number on it. And, second, because he got level with me so I might understand him better. I felt the corner of my lips pull up just slightly. “Thanks.”

Stiles nodded softly. He pushed himself out of the desk and he left with Scott following him.

Scott passed me a curious look that I couldn’t quite place.

Lydia tapped my shoulder. Both she and Allison were looking at me with smirks on their faces.

“What?”

“Pick your jaw off the floor, sweetheart.” Lydia joked.

“Wh - ?” I laughed nervously and shook my head. My eyes shot to Allison.

“It’s just a phone number.” Allison insisted, getting up from her desk.

“I know.” I followed suit, pulling the strap of my backpack over my shoulder. I went to leave, but then stopped, looking to Lydia. “You didn’t talk to him about what I said to you this morning, did you?”

Lydia shook her head. “Of course not.”

I nodded, wondering why there was such a change in him. “Okay. I’ll see you later.” Finally, I left Blake’s classroom and headed towards Harris’. I definitely wasn’t excited for his class. I couldn’t wait for this semester to be over, so I won’t have to deal with him anymore. However, when I got to the classroom, Harris wasn’t at his desk like he normally was. Instead, there was a substitute teacher, sitting in the chair and watching each of us come in. I took my seat next to Isaac and passed him a smile.

Once everyone was seated, the substitute got up and faced the chalkboard, writing her name on it.

I noticed her jaw was moving as if she was talking and leaned over towards Isaac. “What is she saying?” I asked him, watching his lips.

“Harris isn’t in class today, so we’re working with our partners to make a study guide.”

“Did she say why Harris is out?” I asked curiously. I figured that Harris wasn’t the kind to just not show up for work for any reason.

Isaac shrugged. “No clue.”

I studied his face, wondering whether or not that he was telling the truth. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Scott waving some papers at me. I narrowed my eyes at him. “What’s that?” I questioned.

“They’re my notes.” Scott said. “Well, copies of my notes.”

“Why are you waving copies of your notes at me?”

“I copied them for you. I noticed that you were struggling yesterday to keep up. You get written notes from teachers in all your other classes, but Harris was an ass.”

I caught his terminology, tilting my head to the side. “Was?”

“Is.” Scott said quickly. “I said is.”

I nodded. “Right. That actually makes more sense.” I told him. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Scott insisted. “You can’t help it.”

I showed him a half smile, reaching for the papers. “Thank you.” I said, looking them over. The notes were surprisingly detailed, much more than I had expected them to be. I passed Scott an appreciative look, knowing he was still looking my way. I turned back to my table and started working on making a study guide with Isaac. I had a hard time focusing. The paper with Stiles’ phone number on it was burning a hole in my pocket. The fact that Derek left without a word last night and I still hadn’t heard from him was burning a hole in my brain. I hadn’t really gotten to talk about him like I had wanted to. Instead, I freaked out on him. In my nervousness about the situation, I texted him, asking him if he wanted to come over again tonight.

Problem was, he didn’t text me back. So, I decided not to fuss over it, and instead tried to get through the rest of the day.

!@#$#@!

Lydia drove me home from school afterwards. I turned down an offer to study with her, knowing I didn’t really want to work on homework this weekend. I needed to work on getting Carter’s room together. Although, I wasn’t going to tell her that. In all honesty, I hoped that no one else should find out. As normal as Carter said this grieving process would be, it didn’t exactly feel normal. It felt almost like I was building up a shrine for him.

I grabbed the box that Derek and I had started on last night and emptied it onto the bed. It was all clothes, so I folded them up and stuffed them in the empty drawers. When I reached for another box, I turned towards the door and saw Derek was standing in the doorway. I gasped and took a step back. “What are you doing here?” I signed at him.

“You asked me to help.” He said, holding up his cellphone.

“You never texted back. I assumed you weren’t coming.” I told him.

“Sorry. I got busy. But I’m here.” Derek smiled. “What can I do?”

I looked at him, trying my best to hide my smile. “How about this?” I asked. “As we unpack, we get you back up to par with your signing.”

Derek hesitated, scrunching his face skepticism.

“Don’t be like that. You were signing for years before you moved away. You’ll pick it right back up. Like riding a bike.”

Derek and I spent an hour or two unpacking and we still only managed to get to a couple boxes.

I wasn’t upset that it was taking so long. The only reason it was is because we couldn’t sign and unpack things at the same time. I would stop him and quiz him on whatever item he was holding at the moment. It was certainly a process.

“I told you this would be easy.” I signed.

“Easy?” Derek signed, copying my actions to make sure he had it right. He walked over to Carter’s bed and sat on it, leaning against the headboard.

I nodded, letting him know he was correct. I moved myself, sitting at the foot of the bed, facing him.

“I never said it wouldn’t be easy.” Derek said. “Just that it would be challenging.”

“It’s always challenging. Even if you hadn’t ever done it before. I’m sure you remember how frustrated I was for the first few weeks after I started going deaf.”

“Trust me, I remember. You were a nightmare.”

“I wasn’t that bad. Somehow, you were a natural. You managed to help me.” I laughed. “And now, I’m helping you. Kinda funny, huh?”

Derek nodded. His eyes caught something behind me, and then he pointed past me.

I turned around in my spot to see Dad. I smiled up at him. “Hi, Daddy.”

Dad waved, stepping into the room, coming closer to the bed. “Hey, you two.” He looked around the room. “You’ve got some good progress.”

I shrugged. “Derek’s a big help.”

“Well, it looks great.” Dad looked at Derek, showing him an appreciative nod. He looked down at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Your mom is with Aunt Natalie tonight.” Dad said, making me release a heavy sigh of relief. “So, I was thinking about getting a pizza. Think Derek can stick around?”

I smiled. “He can if he remembers one of the signs for pizza.” I said, looking to Derek. “It’s really easy.”

Derek thought for a moment, and then signed.

I nodded, turning back up to my dad. “He can stay.”

“Good.” Dad said. He pointed at Derek. “You still good with anything?”

Derek nodded.

“Thanks!” I looked back to Derek as my dad left the room. “Can I get serious for a moment?”

“Sure.”

“Dad won’t tell you, but he really appreciates that you’re here.” I said, making Derek nod. “It’s been different since...it happened.”

“I know. I’ve been there.”

I looked down at my lap. “It also means a lot that you’re learning to sign again. To me, I mean.” I admitted, looking back up at him. “Without many others who do around here, I’m glad I’ve got you. I know I’ve been giving you hell trying to get you back into it, but thanks.”

Derek could really say anything back, but he smiled.

Seeing him smile made me happy. I was so glad that he was happy again.