Endlessly

Jack expected Alex to be mad, but not this mad. The entire 20 minute drive home, he sulks and stares out the window. His whole body is angled away from Jack and any attempts Jack makes at talking are ignored. His anger had faded in the bathroom, but the longer Alex disregards him, the shorter his second fuse gets. The last straw is when they get to Alex's home and he jumps out of the car before it's even come to a complete stop, slamming the door behind him and running inside. Jack hits the steering wheel until an ounce of his anger fades, which bends the wheel, but he can worry about that later. Right now, he's too busy following the angel inside.

"He's upstairs." Peter doesn't even look up from the newspaper he's reading when Jack storms in seconds after his son. He's not too interested in getting involved in whatever new fight this is; arguments are expected, and Peter can't be the mediator for all of them.

Jack's pretty sure he breaks the wall when he swings the door to Alex's room open, but both of them are too angry to care, even when Jack closes the door just as hard, shaking the slab of wood in its hinges. "Get the fuck out." Alex's voice shakes with rage, and everything about him is red.

"Why are you so angry about this? Yeah, I lost my temper, but you have to admit that this isn't the worst thing that I've ever done."

"That doesn't mean it's okay!" His voice rises so much in that short time that Jack actually jumps. "Making excuses of 'it's not the worst' isn't good enough!"

"Wow, Alex, maybe that's because I'm...I don't know, not good?!"

"You're damn right about that! You're 'not good' to anyone unless it helps you in getting your own way. You're selfish and rude and it disgusts me." This is the meanest he's ever seen Alex, and he curses Satan, God, and everything else that's in his thoughts who turns his anger gear off and switches on his hurt light. "I can't even look at you right now." Jack can't tell if the hatred in Alex's eyes is temporary or permanent. He doesn't have long to decide before Alex turns away and starts digging through his clothes, muttering the whole time. "Poor kid is probably traumatized. I can't believe I fooled myself into thinking you could be okay, and we'd be alright together." Turning back to Jack, he slides into the jacket he found. "And what happens when it's me you're mad at me like that? When I fuck up and spill a glass of milk or I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time? You gonna kick me out, strangle me too? I don't even want to think about what other ways you've hurt people like this."

Jack catches his arm tightly before Alex can leave the room. "Where do you think you're going? We aren't done with this."

"I'm done with this, and I'm going somewhere you're not." He spits. "Now let go of me. You're going to leave bruises as it is."

Jack ignores his command. "Rian's?" Jack knows it's the only place Alex would go besides his house. He's not close enough with anyone else.

Alex's hard face grows a cynical smirk. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"What the fuck do I have to be jealous of?" Jack tries to lie, but they both see right through it.

"That I'd rather be with him than with you."

Finally, Jack drops his arms, and Alex is out the door and flying down the stairs before the true pain can even register inside Jack.

***

Rian answers the door before Alex can even knock. "Where the hell have you been?" Rian snaps, dragging him inside. "You haven't answered my texts in a week! I went to see your parents a few days ago and they said you were sick! Too sick to answer a call?"

"I'm sorry. I just really couldn't deal with talking to anyone." Alex shrugs him off, hoping he leaves it at that. He's not a fan of lying and he's not sure he came come up with another excuse on the fly.

Rian rolls his eyes, but lets it go for now. "Just know that the next time you go MIA, I don't care what your parents say: I will kick down your door."

Alex snorts. "You can't even kick a soccer ball." In fact, the only kicking Rian does is kicking back shots.

"It was one time, and she said it didn't even hurt that bad!" He groans, trying to defend himself.

"She had a bruised cheek for a week!"

"Fuck off!"

"Rian Robert, did I just hear what I think I heard coming from your mouth?" Rian's mom made Alex crack up. Sometimes she seems even more saintly than Alex's own parents. She believes swearing is a sin, even though my parents have been trying to convince her that they're just words; the only thing making them sins are the intentions behind them.

A glare is sent towards Alex, as if his friend blames him - which, in all honesty, he probably does. "Mom, I'm almost 20. I think I can choose my own words by now."

"Not under this roof! Get your own house, and I won't complain about whatever you say there." She wipes her hands on her sweatpants before crossing them over her chest, wordlessly telling Rian the conversation is over. Rian himself looks pained; his parents have him between a rock and a hard place. They pay for his college, so long as he's living with them. But as he ages, their rules just seem to become more constricting. He's got the money to move out from the odd jobs he does around town, but until he has a degree and/or a source of steady income, he knows he'll never make it away from home. "Alex, nice to see you! How are you feeling?" When she turns away from her son, her countenance glows. The college/moving out argument is grating on everyone's last nerves. Alex absently wonders how long it will be before someone cracks.

"Much better, Mrs. Dawson. Thank you for asking." If there's anyone Alex must be formal with, it's Rian's mom. She demands respect, and if he couldn't provide that, he could say goodbye to his best friend as long as he's stuck in her grip.

"I've made some chicken soup. I was going to deliver it to your parents later tonight, but I guess we can eat it here." Alex isn't about to deny her that. Rian's mom is a master at making soup. He never even minds that it's all he ever eats when with the Dawson family, her soup is that good. It's never tasted the same twice.

Dinner consists of polite conversation between Mrs. Dawson and Alex, the angel trying every so often to include Rian in the discussion, but each time he was dismissed. The soup, like expected, is spectacular and when he finishes his third bowl, his entire body feels warm and cozy. Just as everyone finishes up and begins cleaning, the doorbell rings, the sound of Amazing Graze floating through the foyer. "Did you invite someone else, Rian?" Mrs. Dawson raises an eyebrow.

"No. I didn't even invite Alex!"

"Your dad isn't supposed to be here for another 3 days. If it's another door-to-door salesman I swear I'll..." Her voice trails off as she goes to the door, but Rian hears more than Alex does, apparently.

"And you say I'm not allowed to use bad language!" He calls after her, to which he receives no answer.

There's the mumbling of Rian's mom and a deeper voice, but neither boy can make out any of the words. Just as they decide to go to the door to make sure whatever salesman is there isn't dead yet when she calls for Alex. "There's someone here for you. He says his name is Jack. Are you expecting him?" She doesn't sound impressed.

Alex's pulse spikes instantly. "No, ma'am."

"Please, Alex. Just five minutes." He shouts inside.

Alex looks to Rian for advice, but his best friend is too busy trying to pick up his jaw and figure out why the hell Alex is still seeing his one-night-stand. Did their date really go that well? Or, judging by Jack's pleas and the hardness on Alex's face, that bad? "I'll be right back, Ri." Alex is barely containing his anger, so when Alex turns away from him he shoots Jack the angriest glare he can muster.

Once he slams the front door behind him, he crosses his arms and keeps as much distance between him and Jack as possible. "What do you want?" He spits.

"Look, Alex. I'm really sorry about today. I know I was out of line and I know you think being a demon doesn't excuse that. I never intended on putting you in a position like that and I'm sorry it got so out of hand. Sometimes I just can't control my anger and I know that's something I need to work on if I want to be with you. I promise I'll work on it if you can find it in yourself to forgive me." Jack rehearsed his speech on the way over here, and he's pretty proud of how it came out.

Alex looks impressed as well, but not convinced. Jack thought he would have had the angel at the word 'forgive.' "How do I know you aren't lying?"

"Why don't you pray about it?" If Jack's bringing that into the equation, Alex knows he's serious. His concerns still make him hesitant.

"Okay, so you'll try, but you and I both know it's not an overnight transformation. What happens when you snap again like that? What if you snap at me like that, and there's no one else around to stop you?" Jack has no answer for him, staring at the ground guiltily. "Sometimes I'm scared of you, Jack. I can't be with someone who makes me scared like you did today. I didn't know if I could calm you down; I didn't know if you would lash out at me next, and not only with your words. Don't get me wrong, I know you're trying, but maybe we shouldn't be together like we are while you're getting under control. We can still be friends and hang out together, obviously, but I don't know that a relationship between us would be healthy yet." The pain in his chest makes it hard for Alex to keep his voice steady, but he knows this is the right decision for them right now. "We only have a couple of months before we're binded, and I want us to be closer than we are right now before then. They only way that will happen though is if you try and work through this."

Jack makes his face blank so Alex can't see the rage he's currently working through. "Okay, we can try that."

Alex smiles, and even though Jack's mad, there's a little flicker of happiness deep inside because he can still make Alex do that even after today. "Why don't you go home? I'll come by your house tomorrow afternoon and we can just chill, okay? I kind of want to test out your Xbox."

A half-smile graces Jack's lips. He can't manage any more than that. "Alright. I'll see you later."

Alex is much calmer when he returns back inside. He has no idea that all of his anger as seeped into Jack's pores as he stomps to his car and aggressively pulls his car away. Alex is so set on forcing Jack to change everything about him, but he can’t change one aspect of himself or even be lenient on Jack’s differing beliefs - or general disregard - of wrong and right. Jack knows exactly where he needs to go after a day like this, and this time he won't have to feel bad about going behind Alex's back to do it since technically they 'aren't together' anymore. Ha, like God and Satan will allow that for long.

He knows exactly what he needs, he decides as he speeds into the ghetto of Baltimore.