Fool's Holiday

Jack’s first Christmas without Alex is miserable. It’s the first year he spends the holidays alone, by himself in his small Los Angeles apartment. His parents are miles away in Baltimore, and although his ex-boyfriend is only a block away, his family feels even closer. The utter desolation that moves him as he surfs through channels on his sofa, while Alex is probably celebrating with friends, is what helps him to decide to finally make a change.

Growing up in a tight knit neighbourhood in Maryland was something Jack’s parents had always wanted for their kids, and it was something they were glad they had been able to give them. Jack, along with his brother and sister, had had tons of kids nearby to play with as they matured, and they couldn't have been any happier. The transition from elementary, to middle, and then to high school was easy for Jack as well, and he had paraded himself through his teen years with decent grades and a plethora of friends. Now, as he lounges in his lonesome, none of it could ever seem further away.

Jack had met Alex on his twenty first birthday, while he had been celebrating at a bar back home in the East with his friends. Of course, having been the usual flirt he is, Jack couldn't resist leaving his friends for just one moment to talk to the boy he saw sitting alone only a few tables away. The stranger’s neat, brunet hair was a contrast to the messy, flat, and wet hair the majority of the bar’s other patrons sported, which was reasonable, as it had been raining all day. He seemed to have been able to repel the bad weather, though, as Jack soon learned he did with everything else bad in life.

After apologizing profusely to his friends, Jack had ended up leaving the bar with his new friend, with a plan to take him to his apartment and hopefully romance him up some more. From an early age, Jack had known he could feel love for both genders, and this is clearly visible for anyone that knows him for more than a day. Their fast paced conversation about their interests, including music, sports, and the like, had soon turned into a conversation about their pasts, as Jack had opened the door for the boy, whose name he had learned was Alex, into his home.

“So, where did you go to school?” Jack had asked, as he took Alex’s jacket and hung it up in the closet. “Couldn't have been near here, I'm pretty sure I've never seen you before.”

“Oh,” Alex had laughed, and the nervousness Jack could seek out in his voice made all the more sense a few minutes later. “Um, you have, actually.”

“How so?” Jack had prompted Alex, amused with a smile on his face as he led Alex to the couch in his living room.

“I went to your school up until tenth grade,” Alex had explained, “I moved after that.”

“Hmm, I don't remember you.” Jack had hummed thoughtfully, before smiling once again. “But you remember me, huh?”

Nodding slowly, Alex had mulled over his possible responses in his head, and he had decided honesty was the best way to go. The last few years of his life had taught him exactly that, showing him how honesty truly could set one free. “I do, and you probably remember me, too.”

“I don’t think so-” Jack had begun, but Alex had laughed lightly, cutting him off.

“You should. We talked a couple times, remember? Alex?” Alex had hinted, giving Jack an expectant look as one of confusion had graced the other man’s features.

“Not at all, unless…” Jack had trailed off, his eyes flicking up to meet Alex’s. “No way.”

“Mhm,” Alex had hummed, “Yes, way.”

The way Jack’s face had lit up with joy and excitement was something Alex hadn’t expected. Usually, his coming out was met with bouts of more confusion, or even anger. Jack had seemed amused, though, and had wanted to know more about Alex’s transition.

“Is that why you moved?” Jack had said, no so much asking Alex the question, but putting the pieces together out loud.

“Yep,” Alex had confirmed, “I never really regretted it. I didn’t have that many friends anyway, and nobody at my new school ever questioned me. It worked out pretty well.”

“I’m happy for you,” Jack had grinned, “But, I must say, I did think you were incredibly cute. It sucked when you left.”

“Really?” Alex had chuckled, and Jack had nodded sincerely.

“Definitely. Although, I must say, you’re even cuter as a boy.” Jack had tacked on for good measure, pleased with the way Alex’s eyes left his own, as he had been flattered by the compliment.

“Thanks,” Alex had said softly, “It’s because this is who I really am.”

It takes Jack an entire month to finally work up the courage to go and see Alex again. It’s late January, but it’s fairly warm, as Jack is living in California. He gets into his car slowly, trying to avoid what he’s about to confront. It’s no use, as he soon arrives at Alex’s friend’s house. His ex-boyfriend had moved in with the girl in the middle of that past December, right after they had fought, and Jack had spent his Christmas in a boringly, mind numbing mood. He gets out of his car anxiously, his nerves wracking as he shuts his door and make his way up the path of the house. He knocks lightly, and isn’t sure whether he’s comforted or even more scared when the tall, red headed girl opens the door.

“Hi, Ella,” Jack starts, “Is-”

“Alex?” The girl interrupts him, her mouth settling into a frown. “He didn’t tell you?”

Jack simply raises an eyebrow at the girl in response, waiting for her to continue.

“He moved back to Baltimore. He said he’d be coming back in the fall. He didn’t tell you?” Ella explains, her hand moving to rest on her hip as she rolls her eyes. Jack shakes his head, and she sighs. “That’s not like him. I thought he told you, Jack, I really did. I pestered him about it every day. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Jack hums in response, bidding the girl farewell, before getting back into his car. That’s it, he isn’t going to be seeing Alex until the fall, at the earliest. He’s twenty four years old, just finished school, and is still trying to find a good job, while working a couple other jobs on the side. There’s no way he has enough money to fly back home to talk to Alex, nevermind to stay there. He almost wishes Alex didn’t have the funds he did, so he wouldn’t have been able to leave him. Jack shakes that thought away right away,as he realizes it’s incredibly selfish. He does decide, however, that he wishes he had the same amount of money he did when he and Alex had chosen to move to Los Angeles two years ago, when they were even younger and even more in love. The sinking feeling he feels in his chest as he drives home is nothing like he’s ever felt before, except for, possibly, when Alex broke up with him.

It had all started, and ended, on Alex’s birthday, eleven days before Christmas. It had finally been his turn to celebrate his twenty fourth birthday, sixth months after Jack’s. His only problem was, though, that Jack was nowhere to be found. Alex had received no messages throughout the day, and since Jack had woken up and left the house before him, he was seriously lacking interaction with the older man. Alex had been giddy as he arrived home, wondering what surprises Jack had had planned for him, but was seriously bummed out when he returned back home to their dark, empty apartment. He had spent the rest of the evening by himself, watching T.V. in his pyjamas with a bowl of popcorn, until Jack finally came home at eleven o’clock.

“Just in time,” Alex had heard Jack whisper, as the door had creaked from being shut. “Happy birthday, babe!”

“Where were you?” Alex had pouted, crossing his legs and arms while he watched Jack enter the room.

“I went for some drinks with friends after work with my friends,” Jack shrugged, “I thought you wouldn’t mind, since I told you I want to take you out tomorrow night.”

“You thought I wouldn’t mind?” Alex had raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Oh, come on. There’s no need to make a big deal out of this.” Jack had huffed, flopping down next to Alex.

“I’m not making a big deal!” Alex had snapped, with Jack rolling his eyes in response.

“Of course, you aren’t.” Jack had sighed, “Are you on your p-”

The gasp that left Alex’s mouth was enough to shut Jack up at that moment. “Don’t you dare fucking finish that sentence. Fuck you, Jack. That’s a lousy excuse for your lousy behaviour. This isn’t even the first time you’ve done this!”

“Calm down. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jack had shook his head, which had only served to make Alex even angrier.

“How can you be so stupid? You go out all the time, and you flirt with people every day. I try to pretend I don’t notice it, but I’m done with that. Every fucking time we go out with people, you seem like you’re trying to get in their pants, even when I’m right there. I’m willing to bet that’s what you were doing tonight, too, right? Actually, don’t answer that, because you’re too fucking dense to realize your mistake. Whoever you were with was flirting with you, though, no?”

Jack had taken a second to think about his answer, before answering with a simple nod, as he had tugged at his own dark hair nervously. Although it had sparked the next few hurtful things Alex had to say, he knew telling the truth was the right thing to do, because it was something Alex had always taught him to do.

“Of course. That’s so like you, always paying attention to everyone but me. I swear, if you only liked guys, I would have never had a chance with you, because my body’s all you seem to make time for these days.” Alex had huffed, making Jack’s eyebrows draw together.

“That’s stupid, Alex, and you know it.” Jack had said, wanting to remain calm, but having it come out in a way almost similar to a growl. That was it, that was when he had known he was done for.

“You’re stupid, Jack, and I’m leaving. Goodbye.” Those were the last words Jack had heard from Alex, before he packed up all of his stuff on one of his days off, and moved to Ella’s.

When fall finally comes around, Jack stays in tight contact with Ella. Although the girl totally agrees that Jack was an asshole to Alex, she thinks they belong together, as does Jack. When Ella alerts Jack of Alex’s eventual arrival, he feels the same butterflies he used to feel whenever Alex was simply mentioned. He hasn’t felt them in a while.

Jack decides to be subtle at first, and it works out perfectly, as he knows how much Alex appreciates the little things in life. It’s a shame he was never even able to do things like this for Alex in the past. He leaves a bouquet of roses on the doorstep, texting Ella to make sure Alex answers the door, before ringing the doorbell. Along with the flowers, he leaves a note simply stating, ‘Alex- Still thinking of you.’ He drives back home with a small smile on his face, and it only increases in size when he arrives home and receives a text from Ella. She says Alex looks at the flowers questionably, before reading the note, and sighing to himself. It’s obvious he knows who they’re from, but he puts them into a nice vase anyway, humming happily all the while. Jack decides it’s a start.