Ignite These Somber Flames

The cool, morning colors diffused into my bedroom causing me to peel back my eyelids. The light only allowed me to see the outline of the body lying next to me. He had a signature snore though. It was low, growling almost. His breath tickled the hairs on my arm. I watched his chest rise and fall. I locked my eyes shut. This wasn't serious, was it? All that had happened was two bodies occupying the same bed, in close quarters. Faces inches apart. Naked, but unconscious for 95% of the night.

After all, I swore all feelings for Frank away years ago. He was only in town for a week. Any feelings I develop would be short term. I wouldn't have to see Frank for at least a few more months until the wedding. After that, I was free to live a Frank free-life again.

I didn't notice that my breath quickened, stirring Frank awake next to me. "You okay?" He asked lowly. "You're breathing heavily." I opened my eyes and stared into his sea of hazel.

"Peachy," I said as I sat up. My hands tried to cover my exposed chest. Goosebumps quickly covered my entire body as the cool summer air nipped at me. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I went over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants and a tank top. I turned around after I dressed. Frank was still lying down, but he had shifted his body so he got a better view. "I'd greatly appreciate it if anything that may have happened here stay here," I told him calmly, despite my better judgment.

The sun was barely rising and the early morning silence filled the room. Through the dim lighting, I could still see Frank. Shirtless and his appearance tousled. "And what do you think happened here?" He smirked at me.

"I don't care to know," I rolled my eyes. "But I don't need everyone to imply anything happened." I ended the conversation, leaving the room, and closed the door gently behind me. Though I wish I could have slammed it shut on that cocky asshole.

Everyone was still in bed. I headed into the kitchen, the cold tile sending chills up my spine. A jacket sat on the back of the barstools and I zipped it up without second thought. Cigarette smoke filled my nostrils and I furrowed my brow. I left the jacket on. I made a pot of coffee before grabbing a cup and heading into the backyard.

The sky looked like a cotton candy collage of pinks and blues. I sat in one of the patio chairs. I stuffed my hands into the pocket of the hoodie. I found a pack of cigarettes. Without much thought, I pushed it open. It was more than halfway full. He wouldn’t miss one, I thought. Luckily a lighter sat next to the ashtray on the table. I never smoke. However, the bare image of Frank burned in my mind. The smoke filling my lungs was the only reason I wasn't freaking out beyond reason. The door slid open and I quickly put out the cigarette. I stood up, my empty coffee mug in hand and turned around. Frank stood just a foot away from me.

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled stupidly.

"That's mine," He said, ignoring my apology. His eyes were on the jacket.

"Oh, right. Sorry," I mumbled again. I pulled it off and handed it to him. "Excuse me." I went back inside and placed the empty mug on the counter next to the sink. I heard footsteps heading down the stairs. Audrey walked into the kitchen. She wore her floral, silk kimono and a dazed look on her face.

"I smell coffee. Where is it?" Audrey demanded. I grabbed another mug from one of the cabinets and poured Audrey a cup. "Oh sweet, baby jesus," Audrey sighed in relief when she took her first sip. She drank the cup in a matter of seconds. Audrey's entire demeanor changed. Her eyes opened wide, and she had a new glow about her. "We need to wake up the boys," she told me. "Where's Frank? I didn't see him on the couch."

"Outside," I mumbled.

"Okay. Good. Go wake up the others for me? We need to leave in forty-five minutes," Audrey said.

I frowned. I had far too much to do today. "For what?"

"Disneyland. Boys never been so we told them yesterday we could go today. Now either go tell Frank he needs to get ready or wake up the other boys," Audrey said, knowing which option I would pick. She headed toward the sliding door. I dragged my butt upstairs and stood in front of the closed door.

"Hey," I shouted, my fist pounding on the door. "Wake up, you guys." I continued to shout and bang on the door until I heard people shuffling around inside. The door ripped open.

"Fucking fantastic hospitality," Mikey grumbled at me. His glasses were on wonky and his hair disheveled. "What do you want?"

"Don't shoot the messenger," I told him. "Audrey wants you to be ready in forty-five minutes." I walked down the hallway into my room. Frank's cologne still lingered in the air. I scrunched up my nose and lit a lavender incense on my dresser. I moved toward my closet, kicking the box of letters to the side. I grabbed a sleeveless, white summer dress and slipped it over my head. It was the middle of August and it was going to be a scorching day at the park. I had no intentions of dying of a heat stroke today. The back was open with multiple straps running down it. The trimming was very bohemian. I reached down and grabbed a pair of maroon ankle booties. The rim of the small platform was tan. I called it an outfit after I grabbed a pair of aviators and a teardrop-shaped stone necklace.

When I headed downstairs everyone except for Audrey was waiting. "I thought we were leaving seven minutes ago," Mikey sneered at me.

I stuck out my tongue at him, my aviators still covering my eyes. I leaned against the door, shifting my weight. I crossed my arms. The dress was a low cut and I could feel Gerard's eyes on my chest. I lowered my sunglasses to the edge of my nose. "I can see you staring, asshole," I said to Gerard. Everyone looked over, their eyes followed Gerard's to my chest but they looked away instantly.

Gerard simply shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry not sorry." The corners of his lips barely turned upward. "Forgot for a moment that you were a woman." I gave him the finger causing Ray to let out a laugh and Mikey elbowed Gerard in the gut.

"You should grab a jacket, Marlowe," Liam said. He had been sitting on the couch with Frank. "It's going to get cold."

"I'll be fine," I retorted. "It's the middle of fucking August."

"We're going to stay all day. It'll get cold in the evening," Liam pointed out.

I sighed, but nonetheless I complied with Liam and headed back to my room to find a cute little denim jacket. When I got back downstairs, everyone was gone except Mikey. He stood with the front door open, his back against it. "Come on," he told me. "Everyone's outside."


We arrived shortly after Disneyland opened. The boys and I stood in line at the ticket booth, waiting to buy our one-day park hoppers. I bit my lip, furrowing my brows as I stared up at the price of the tickets. I inhaled sharply, noting that I would need to pick up a few extra gigs this week in order to afford today. Gerard, Frank, and I were the last ones in line.

"Next!"

"Come on," Gerard said to Frank and I. "I'm buying your tickets." I opened my mouth to protest but Frank pulled on my arm as Gerard walked to the open window.

"Let go," I mumbled, pulling my arm away from Frank. Frank raised an eyebrow at me and I ignored him. "Gerard, I can buy my own ticket-"

"Let me pay for half," Frank beat me to the punch and pulled out his credit card, handing it to the gentleman in the booth. Frank and Gerard signed their receipts and Frank handed me my ticket.

"Thanks," I mumbled curtly, taking my ticket without making eye contact with him. I gripped it in my hand. I walked over to the rest of the group without waiting for them to catch up.

Once inside the park, I ignored Frank to the best of my ability. I made sure to sit either in a different row than Frank or at the very least, I left two seats between us. On Pirates of the Caribbean I sat with Ray, Mikey, and Gerard in the row behind Audrey, Liam, and Frank. Frank almost sat next to me on Indiana Jones but I had asked Audrey if I could sit next to her. Gerard switched seats with me. On our way over to Thunder Mountain, Audrey linked arms with me as we led the pack. "You said you were going to be polite," Audrey lectured me.

"What do you mean? I've been very civil to the boys," I tried to play dumb. "I've been socializing with them. I even hugged Ray when we were sitting on Haunted Mansion together. We ended up walking out of there skipping together!"

"You know I mean Frank," Audrey whispered. "You have been avoiding him." My cheeks flustered. I inhaled sharply.

Part of me wanted to confide in my friend. Had Frank been anyone but Frank, I would have shared with Audrey the details of last night. But the fact that Audrey's fiancé was best friends with Frank and Frank was indeed Frank, I knew telling Audrey what happened would complicate things. "Sorry," was all I managed to say to Audrey.


Audrey wanted to ride 'It's a Small World'. The one that had the creepy dolls that sung the song the entire duration of the ride. I didn't know anything more frightful than that.

"I'll pass," Frank said, standing next me. I didn’t have time to object. Everyone else headed towards the ride. One quick glance at Frank and I spun on my heel, dashing toward Tomorrow Land. I could hear Frank's shoes behind me.

"Are you seriously going to act like this?" He asked, a few steps behind me. Frank caught up in no time.

I briefly glanced at him. I turned my head forward again, making sure I didn't run into anyone. "I don't know what you mean," I objected.

"Come on, Marley," Frank let the nickname slip through his lips. It just rolled off his tongue naturally.

"Don't call me that," I stopped off to the side of the Matterhorn Mountain. A line was wrapped around the base of it and people walked briskly between the mountain and us. "Nuh-huh, you don't get to call me that."

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he said, grabbing my arm gently. "But are we going to talk about last night?"

"There isn't anything to discuss. Nothing happened," I denied stupidly. I wasn't kidding myself very well. And I knew I definitely wasn't fooling Frank.

"We're adults, okay? We obviously have history and unresolved issues. We were drunk so we acted impulsively. I don't want you to think anything of it. I just want things to be normal between us."

There was no such thing as normal between us, but I kept that thought to myself. I was perfectly happy letting us live in denial. I didn't want to accept the fact that I had slept with Frank, and I knew he wanted to believe that things could be 'normal' between us, whatever that meant. We never had normalcy between us. We always fought. We were best friends. We were a couple on and off there. And we were sworn enemies. I never remember a time where I knew exactly where we stood with each other.

Just a week, I reminded myself. I think I could be Frank's friend for a week.

Yeah, that's manageable.