Dysfunctional

Explosions were sounding all over the place. Some from enemy fire, others from Vortex and Blast Off, who were still trying to get the bridge supports exposed. There were also smaller shots but only the nearby Combaticons recognized those. From it's position near the transformed Brawl, a small human form stood from where it had been crouched.

"Aww yeah! Did you see that shot?!" The voice proudly crowed as their voice filtered through the protective biosuit it was wearing. Brawl was about to reply when thee comm link crackled to life.

:Hey this is Vortex! There's an Autobot Guardian here and I'm pined down, Energon levels are low and I'm losing power fa-!:

The comm was cut off by a flood of static. Brawl transformed and quickly put two digits to his audio receptor.

"Vortex!"

Static was his only reply and he growled.

"Scrap!"

Before he could even move to go help his comrade, a little gray blur shot past him and over the side of the platform.

"Hang loose Brawl! I got 'dis!"

The biosuits rockets kicked in and the organic quickly became airborne towards the shaft Vortex had flown down earlier in the battle. It landed and immediately dove for cover as blaster fire rained towards them.

"Missed me blubber butt!" The small figure taunted as they dove between cover, slowly making their way towards Vortex's weakly broadcasting signature. Skidding in on their pedes, the biosuit wearing organic scampered over towards the downed Con.

"Yo Vortex! You still online bro?" They called as they kneeled next to his helm. At his lack of response, the small human thumped him just above the visor. "I just risked my butt coming down here for you so you'd better not be dead!" They threatened. A groan was the Con's reply as it was all the poor mech could force out before feeling a tiny servo pat his faceplate.

"Don't you worry, I spotted some Energon and a small patch kit when I ran past the supply crates, I'm sure I can round up some ammo too." Before Vortex could even reply to the human, they had already dashed off once again.

"I lost sight of the target!" The Guardian mech shouted even as a small biosuit raced past is back. Slipping into a small access tunnel, they spotted the earlier seen supplies.

'These are too big for me to carry at the same time...' They thought to themselves before a mischievous chuckle filtered through their helm.

"I wonder if these clumsy Autobots can do the Can Can?"
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What happened next can only be described as pure and absolute chaos, and the little figure in the biosuit was loving it. Being the excellent juggler that they were, Energon, a med kit, and an ammo pack were being wildly juggled as the small human danced around the angered mechs, further confusing them by blasting Offenbach's "Can Can" music over the biosuits built in amplifiers.

"Hold still so I can blast you!" The Guardian roared as he fired his scatter blaster all over the place. The little organic cackled with laughter as they continued to juggle the items and dance about.

"If this is the best you can do then I'd hate to see you at your worst slaghead!" They yelled even as they dodged more blaster fire and finally made it back to Vortex. The Con put up no complaint as the organic aided him in his repairs and refueling. Now that Vortex was back to at least an acceptable condition, the two unlikely partners found themselves peering from behind several supply crates at the Guardian and his drones.

"Any other bright ideas squishy?"

The organic ignored his small jab as they searched through the files they had uploaded to the biosuit. They smirked under their helmet as they caught sight of an audio file labeled "Benny Hill Chase".

"Uh, yeah...I got an idea." They glanced up at the Con. "Say...this thing got any wheels?"
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Vortex held his weapon at the ready. The human had told him they'd provide a signal when the bridges internal supports would be exposed. The sudden and extremely loud music blaring from his left startled him and his optics widened under his visor as the squishy raced past him on the biosuits wheels with something that sounded like music but he'd never heard this type before. Needless to say, it was amusing to witness the tiny organic being chased by the colossal mech while they mocked the Autobot with the...music.

"CAW CAW!!!!"

Vortex frowned and watched as the organic raced by again, music still blaring.

"CAW CAW!!!!" It almost sounded as if they were getting more and more desperate but Vortex still did not understand.

"VORTEX! THAT'S THE SLAGGING SIGNAL!!!"

Ignoring the slight embarrassment he could feel, the Con lined up his shot and quickly gave the final blow. Destroying the bridges final support, and it's last hope for standing.

"Let's get out of here!" The Con called to his small companion as they continued to be a pest to the much larger Autobot.

"Hang on I'm coming Vortex!" The small figure shouted before throwing something on the Autobots backstrut as he stumbled past them. The organic turned and skated straight at Vortex as he jumped in the air and transformed to his aerial mode. They managed to gain enough speed and jump before he completed the process and they landed in his cockpit. The organic sat down in what would have normally been the piloting chair as the Con took off, only to quickly discover a major problem.

"I can't steer! My autofunctions must have been damaged in the fight!" He yelled as their flight started to waver.

"Don't you have some kind of backup autopilot on standby or something?!" The organic wailed as they were beginning to be thrown around in the air.

"No!" Came Vortex's outraged reply, "Do I look like some kind of public transporter to you?!"

Apparently something had managed to jar Vortex's comm link back to functioning status in time for Brawl's yelling to blare through, making both Con and organic yelp in shock.

:Vortex! If the two of you slagheaded morons don't get out of there, you'll be going down with the bridge!:

"Darn it! Slag it all!" The organic yelled, slamming their hand on Vortex's would be dashboard. "Vortex! Gimme some manual controls!" They yelled before the complex systems split apart and transformed into a two handed control mechanism. The organic grabbed the controls just as Vortex pitched forward into a nosedive.

"SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!"

Both voices screamed simultaneously as the organic pulled back with all of their available strength.

"PULL UP!!!" They yelled as they strained just a bit harder and Vortex shot back up towards the access tunnel that would lead to their freedom. They scraped against the walls several times with the organic shouting apologies as they did.

"Yeah!" Vortex cheered as they shot into the tunnel like blaster fire, the organic struggling (and yet managing) to avoid the laser and Energon defense and generator rings.

"Keep at it! We're almost there!" Vortex yelled, happy that he wasn't going to be turned into slag under the scrapped bridge. The organic ignored his jubilee as they continued to do tricky maneuvers based off of wild escapades and videogames they had played before...but there was no way they were ever going to admit that.

This must seem very confusing no? Well alright then, let's go back to the beginning, and start off with just who exactly this human is...
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