Unravel

“...and then, as far as I understood, my grandad blew it up and you lost your hearing for a day or two.” Elizabeth recounted and chuckled. She hadn’t thought about that story in a long time but even though it was a funny one, the look on James’ face brought her back to the harsh reality. He might have been remembering quite a lot but there were still a whole lot of gaps. Apparently he didn’t remember this one, either.

“I need a break... I think you do, too,” Elizabeth sighed and ran her hand through Vito’s fur. Telling the stories of her grandfather had proven to be more difficult than remembering them. She usually only saw them as stories, its characters ranging from funny to amazingly brave to vicious and cruel. These stories had been lived before even her father or mother had been alive, so it was even more difficult for her to envision them as real. But now there was a man sitting in front of her who had lived through all of that and even more. If someone would have combined two people’s life experience, it still would have not been a match to James Buchanan Barnes’.

They had been going at it for hours, interrupted only for a small lunch, and continued on. Elizabeth herself was surprised about how much she remembered but slowly and surely she was running out of stories to tell.

James had astonishingly kept the conversation up, too, by asking for details and asking questions whenever he could. But he had started to look more tired and more worn out by the hour. He had looked exhausted before but his face fell more and more and was replaced with a stony facade with each story he couldn’t quite remember. Elizabeth figured it would be aggravating to have a stranger tell you stories about your life that you couldn’t remember.

Elizabeth, being exhausted herself, had started to scoot down the sofa, lying on it by now with Vito lying on the floor next to her. Funnily enough, this was the first time he kept lying next to her. Usually he kept as close to James as he was allowed.

Waiting for an answer, Elizabeth locked her gaze on his head. James however still didn’t respond to Elizabeth’s statement. He just kept staring out of the window in her living room, a defiant look on his face. She knew he didn’t want to stop yet. He had been looking for the rest of his memories and had finally found someone who could help him with it that was neither Captain Rogers or Hydra. Maybe he was afraid of losing them again. No, he probably was very much afraid of losing them again. She couldn’t really blame him for that but it had been exhausting, even to her. Not even going out with Vito for a few minutes had done anything to wake her up and she was all out of coffee by now. So she had started looking for a way to tell him that they would have to stop, at least on this day. None of them could take much more, Elizabeth physically, and James mentally.

Sighing, she prepared herself for the possible spat that might break out at the words she was about to speak.

“I know you want to know as many things about your past as possible, I get that, I really do. But it seems like there are quite a few stories you cannot remember, be it because of what Hydra did to you or because of brain damage from the fall and possible damage due to the cold,” she tried to reason but the only indicator he gave that he was listening was the way his jaw was twitching. “I don’t even know whether I got all the details right, I wasn’t there. But I need sleep. You need sleep, even just for a few hours and I promise, tomorrow we’ll continue but I’m about to keel over.” Elizabeth searched his face for some kind of reaction. This time she was only rewarded with a flash of hurt.

“Did he ever tell about the-.” He had broken off halfway through the sentence but Elizabeth suspected what he wanted to talk about. They hadn’t addressed it yet but she knew it was something that kept nagging at his mind. It was only natural to want to know how your friends reacted to your apparent death or coped with it. At least she thought so.

“No,” she told him slowly and softly, and followed it with a yawn. He closed his eyes for a moment. “That’s a story he never told us, as far as I can remember. My dad always told us he didn’t like to talk about it. I think it’s difficult to lose someone of your unit but even more so if they're your friend. I don’t think they had enough time to mourn and then Captain Rogers crashed the Valkyrie.. I just think it was a bit much to take in. Especially in such a short amount of time,” she concluded and tried to smother another yawn but closed her eyes instead.

“I’m sorry I can’t tell you more about that, Bucky,” she mumbled but if he ever gave her a reply, she didn’t hear it as she fell asleep right there, right then, curled up on her sofa.

////

The moment Elizabeth woke up she knew some things didn’t quite add up. For example the soft mattress underneath her, or the old red blanket covering her body that she only ever used in the winter because of how thick it was. It just didn’t quite add up and it was especially hard for her sleepy self to make sense of anything.

Until she realised that she hadn’t went to bed. After sitting in her living room for hours with James with little to no breaks, she had fallen asleep on the couch, so much she knew.
And if she hadn’t suddenly taken to sleepwalking, she had her suspicion about how she had ended up there. But right then, she wasn’t going to dwell on it. She was too tired and her bed felt way too comfortable. This would have to wait.