Unravel

Monday morning had come sooner than she had would’ve thought which had now left her with the task of letting the FBI know she would be unable to come to work for a for now indefinite amount of time. There was also the consequent talk with Ewan because he was the last one to hear about it. His number had flashed across the pre-paid phone’s display Clint had dropped in her lap this morning mere minutes after she had hung up on the woman working at the FBI’s administration. But even then she had had difficulty concentrating on anything else but the man currently sitting next to her, her feet propped onto his lap, making her efforts at keeping a straight face just that much more difficult.

“Infectious,” Liz heard Ewan incredulously repeat her own answer.

“Yes,” she insisted and swatted at Bucky whose lip had started quirking slightly.
She wasn’t that bad at lying but Ewan knew her better than anyone else and Bucky’s presence wasn’t exactly making things easier for her, especially after what had happened only mere hours before. Just the thought still sent tingles up her back and color to her cheeks. But she had to force herself to focus on lying. There had been no problem convincing the woman on the other end of the line of her predicament. Ewan, however, was a whole other story.

“Are you really trying to tell me that you - the idiot that came to work during flu season with a 105° fever - that you are sick and won’t come to work?” She pinched her eyes together and sighed, started replying when Ewan beat her to it. “Liz, what is really going on? Should I be worried?”

“Listen, I’ll… I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” she reassured him and felt Bucky’s hand squeeze her ankle in support. He hadn’t left her side all morning and she was grateful for it. It somehow felt as if both of them needed the reassurance that another person was there for the other.
Lying to Ewan however turned the butterflies in her stomach to a dull ache. He wasn’t going to buy it anyway.

“Liz-,” he started and Elizabeth faltered.

“I can’t give you more details, Ewan. But I- I’m okay, I’ll be back soon. Just- Please, just make sure you keep the story up. Please,” she pleaded and heard Ewan’s unmistakable sigh at the other end of the line.

“You’re okay?” he asked again. “This isn’t something where you’re in a hostage situation and I’ll have to drag you out when you’re half dead already, right?”

“No,” she told him with a forced chuckle. In reality she had no clue how this all would play out but being dragged out half dead or dead wasn’t as unreasonable as she would have liked. Before she hung up she added, “Bye, Ewan. Give Karen my best.”

Letting the phone drop into her lap, she let her head roll back with a groan and ran both of her hands over her face, through her hair, trying to get rid of the tension that slowly started to make her head hurt. But the weight on her shoulders had let up slightly, having brought the inevitable phone calls over her. That didn’t mean that there wasn’t still a bone-crushing weight left.

Rolling her head back up to face Bucky, she squinted when she saw the troubled expression he wore. “What’s up?”

Snapping his head back in her direction at once, he still hesitated to answer. He always did. “You trust him?”

“If there’s one person I trust in this whole universe it’s him. He might be an idiot but he’s a good guy,” Liz replied with a smile and a roll of her eyes.

“His girlfriend?” another voice chimed in from behind, accompanied by the dull thud of shoes hitting the wooden floor. Letting her head hang from the armrest, Liz could see Steve entering with Sam on his heels.

“Wife,” Liz clarified, confused by the questions they were now asking. “She’s a kindergarten teacher.” Scrutinizing the look on Steve’s face more closely, she almost had to laugh when she realized what he was insinuating. “I don’t think Hydra can do a whole lot of damage with a bunch of toddlers, Steve.”

“But we’re still missing something.”

“No new clues?” she asked, looking over the men’s faces for an answer.

“No, it’s been quiet ever since we picked you up,” Steve replied and sank down onto one of the chairs opposite Liz and Bucky. Sam chose to look outside the window, turning his back towards them. “Clint is still staking out the known Hydra bases around New York with Nat but most of them are deserted. Those that weren’t are now.”

“Nat is…” Liz pointed at her clothes and Bucky nodded.

“That’s her’s,” he confirmed.

“Which means that…,” Liz started and let out a weary breath, “That means we’re stuck here until there are any substantial clues.”

“No, that means you are stuck here,” Sam corrected. “I got my ass handed to me last night.”

Liz turned her head with a sigh, her gaze resting on Bucky’s profile. His jaw kept twitching and the focused look on his face hadn’t let up yet. It seemed he ground his teeth harder the longer they talked about being unable to do anything.

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help,” she told them, the sudden wave of guilt overwhelming her and tuning out their protests. It wasn’t even because of the gunshot wound that was currently decorating her left thigh with all the colors of the rainbow. As a normal human being with no notable connections she couldn’t really contribute in taking Hydra down.

Pushing herself off of the sofa to leave them to discuss whatever soldiers discussed, she suddenly had a thought that let her blood run cold. “They don’t want me.”

“What?”

“Hydra. They don’t me. They just- They want me because of my ties to you,” she told them, her eyes finally focusing on Steve’s and carefully avoiding Bucky’s. “Right? We can… I want to help and there’s two ways I can help. Either cut the ties, then you won’t have to think of me while you’re doing what you’ll be doing either way. Or,” she licked her lips, “or we can exploit-”

“No,” she heard Bucky before she had even properly finished. “No chance in hell.”

“Please let me finish?” she pleaded with him, finally meeting his eyes. His eyes held a multitude of emotions but the most prominent of them all was disbelief. Elizabeth could understand. After everything that had happened, she wasn’t exactly fond of her idea herself. But if it helped move them out of danger, if it helped move Bucky even just a little out of the danger zone, she would take it. “We could use that for our own profit.”

“Liz,” Steve started, shaking his head in disbelief.

Of course none of them would be happy with her proposition since she was, in their eyes, an innocent civilian. But she also knew that if it came down to it, she could convince all of them, even if it would take thrice the effort to persuade Bucky, who was sitting silently, grinding his teeth and clenching his fist.

Noticing his distress, Liz sighed. “Guys, can you-,” she said, motioning vaguely with her hands towards the hallway, “Just for a moment.”

“Right. Sam?”

Thankfully they moved without a protest and only a few seconds later Liz found herself sitting on the sofa again, her body facing Bucky but their eyes not meeting and an unusual distance between them. She didn’t know whether she wasn’t even grateful for it at that moment.

“Listen, I know. I know. I know. I’m not a fan of this either,” she confessed, awkwardly placing her hands in her lap. But it didn’t feel right and Bucky was still not looking at her, so she softly grabbed ahold of his left hand with shaky fingers. “Look at me? Please?”

It happened slowly, but surely he lifted his head and the storm of emotions raging in his eyes almost left her breathless. She knew he was upset, he wasn’t particularly masking his feelings. But the mess of emotions clouding his vision was more upsetting to her than what she was about to propose.

“I became an FBI agent for a reason, Bucky,” she started. “That means that I try to help innocent people where I can, even if it means putting myself in danger. You’re one of these innocent people, even if you don’t want to believe it yourself, and right now, with me being here, I’m jeopardizing your safety. So either we stop this all right now or we use it to our advantage.
Which means, I’ll go back to work as soon as I can. I’ll-,”she came to a stop, her voice thick and hoarse at his livid expression and the frantic whirring of his metal arm. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m sick of hiding,” he admitted, talking slowly, his voice low and factual. “Hydra has taken more years from me than your average person usually even lives. I was unable to do anything when they picked me apart, piece for piece.” He swallowed and shook his head. “I’m not going to watch as they keep taking everything from me. I’m angry and I’m sick of feeling helpless.”

“So am I,” she replied, slightly floored. “Die trying, right?”

“I’m not going to keep you from doing what you want, Liz,” he concluded, seemingly defeated but his fingers still twitched ever so slightly on her hand. “But I’m not going to let you do it alone, either.”

Shaking her head, she inched closer towards his body until she was almost wrapped around his arm. It was cold at first but heated up ever so slightly at her touch. Propping her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him, her nose scrunched up. “I can’t take any of you with me to HQ, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

“I’m not,” he said, his lip quirking ever so slightly, releasing some of the knots in Liz stomach. “I’m talking about your friend.” And they were back.

“Ewan?” she asked, scooting away to get a better look at his face to see whether he was serious. “What?”

“It would be the FBI’s job either way,” he replied matter-of-factly and Liz had to agree. They didn’t know who inside of the FBI was feeding Hydra intel. But she trusted Ewan. And Bucky trusted her judgement, it seemed.

“Do you want to talk it over with Steve?” she asked. He nodded, already standing to leave and bending down to drop a kiss on her head. Liz wanted to melt into his touch but her mind was, as usual by now, preoccupied.

She wasn’t exactly happy with dragging Ewan into this mess, too. But he was part of the FBI, too. They had been trained. Having at least one person on her side in that whole building would benefit her immensely. “Right, okay,” she sighed and laid back onto the sofa, mulling over how in God’s name she was going to tell Ewan about what she was dragging him into.