Unravel

The moment she heard the door fall into the lock, Liz slumped against the wall again, the tension leaving her body and leaving her a spineless mess. She couldn’t remember the last time anything had felt quite right but she wanted to go back to that time. If she could have taken the good parts of the present and taken them with her to a place where she felt good, she would have done so without much hesitation.

Still, her words reverberated inside of her head. No offense but I’d rather die. It was true, she found. It had been a while since she had had something in her life she could truthfully say she wanted to live for. No offense but I’d rather die. And now she was already willing to die for it. Even if she would meet her end as bait.

Snapping her head up, Liz mulled over that last bit again. She didn’t mind being used as bait. All that she wanted was to bring Hydra out from their hiding place and if they had her, they would have a reason to. She might pay for it, but ultimately Hydra would think they had the upper hand, making them more prone to stupid mistakes. Even thinking of Bucky didn’t make her determination falter. She’d find her end in this mess one way or another. They had been blatantly making sure she knew that from the very beginning.

So Liz jumped up and grabbed her things from the living room. She still might need some kind of weapon with her, otherwise it would seem very obvious that she wanted to get caught.

Rumbling through the drawers of the living room and looking under each and every piece of furniture, Liz made enough noise to miss the opening and closing of the front door. She was only startled when suddenly a hand clamped firmly around her wrist, holding it in place beneath the dusty vanity. “What the hell?”

Looking up, she came face to face with Bucky and Steve, the former’s hand being the one around her wrist. Shaking free of his grip, she went right back to searching, avoiding his eyes, “Back already? What happened?”

“Liz,” Bucky tried again, sending Steve a look that said he could handle it himself. So as Steve left, Liz continued.

“Thought you’d be longer.”

“I can see that,” Bucky answered, finally grabbing her hand and turning her to face him. “What are you doing?” Staring at him defiantly and trying to ignore the little bit of blood on his lip, Liz went to answer. But instead her thumb went up to his face to wipe it away. Who knew how often she would get the chance to touch him again. “Liz!” he snapped and her eyes finally met his - his full of anger and confusion and hers as blank as can be.

Inhaling, Liz relented and waited for him to release her hand, which he did slowly. “I’m doing my bit,” she told him factually and turned around to continue searching, her hand finally finding something cold and solid.

Bucky’s face had been collected until he heard the metallic clicking. “Fuck no,” he seethed, standing up and pacing next to her.

“What?” Liz mumbled, pulling hard on the gun’s mounting and letting it clatter to the floor.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked and the vulnerability in his voice made Liz halt. She didn’t want to hurt him but she found it was the only way to do this. Turning around softly even Bucky saw the helplessness she tried so hard to hide. Sighing, he sunk down onto the floor again. “What’s your plan? Just going rogue? A suicide mission? Bait?”

Sinking in on herself, Liz grew quiet in the face of Bucky’s vulnerability. “Bucky, I don’t care, they’re not after me. They want you! I’m just in the way. I’m-,” she exhaled before continuing matter-of-factly. “I’m bait.”

Shaking his head, he looked anywhere in the room but at her. “We’ve been over this. Why are you playing the martyr?”
In truth, Liz didn’t know. No offense but I’d rather die. When had her mindset changed to that? It didn’t matter when, just that it had and now Bucky was laying it all out in front of her.
“You say you don’t want to be like your parents but from what you told me that’s exactly what you’re doing right now.”

Wincing, Liz interfered. “Bucky don’t. That’s not fair,” she sniffled.

“Is it?” he asked, taking her face in his hands forcefully and looking into her eyes. “Because you’re willingly sacrificing your life despite the fact that there’s people that want you here, alive and well and with them. I want you here.”

Liz’ sniffle grew then, from small to a sob.

“I’m not-, I’m,” she struggled. “Please don’t make me hide myself while the people I care about are in danger.”

Bucky’s look softened at her confession but the conflicting emotions inside of him were still very prominent. Shaking his head so he could focus again, he answered, “I won’t. But this is no way to do it. We’re going to figure something out.”

Liz knew he would try to figure something out but she had already come to a conclusion. He didn’t want her to be bait but there were other things she could do. She had a little time left to make the decision but it wasn’t set in stone yet. Still, she knew it would happen sooner or later and she now needed to make the most of their time together now.

Suppressing any further tears, Liz wiped her eyes and breathed in deeply before reaching forward and taking Bucky’s face into her hands as well. Taking in his handsome face and the frankly confused expression, she smiled sadly before moving forward and pressing her lips against his.

It didn’t take long for Bucky to reciprocate, his hands moving from her face to her neck and pulling her closer, both moving in the same rhythm. But Liz didn’t want to stay on the dusty floor of the living room. Biting his lip before moving away, she elicited a groan from Bucky. But tugging on his hands, she motioned towards her room. “Come on,” she whispered.

So they both got up and quietly crept towards her room, trying not to run into Steve or any other people that might have been in the house that moment, giggling like children when Liz accidentally smacked into Bucky’s back after he halted to listen to the movements inside of the house.

But then they made it to her room and the clothes were discarded faster but more gently than Liz had thought possible. Because for all of the harshness and scruff around Bucky’s edges, he was as gentle as he could be. He was a good man and while they both were in this blissful embrace, Liz tried to erase any thoughts and doubts that were trying to paint her as a bad person right that moment. Because that was what she was in the end, her motivation for the occuring intimacy weren’t right.

They both grew sweatier in a matter of minutes, moving in a steady rhythm until they finally reached their end, her before him - still trying to be quiet - and collapsed next to each other but not letting go completely.

Breathing out heavily, Liz sputtered, “Fuck.”

Bucky laughed quietly next to her, moved to nip at her collarbone gently, “Thought I just did.”

Despite swatting at his arm with a laugh, Liz pulled herself closer to him and looked up to watch his face. It was soft, rosy and graced with a smile she had been wanting to see for a while. “You’re a good man, Bucky Barnes.”

Smiling a bit confusedly at her, he pulled her closer nonetheless, kissing her on the forehead before settling into a comfortable silence again.

However, their comfortable bliss was disturbed by the sound of a phone vibrating against the hardwood floor. Bucky sighed and moved to retrieve the phone from his pants.

“If it’s Steve mocking us for being too loud, tell him to get screwed. Pun not intended,” Liz muttered and closed her eyes gently while Bucky laughed and patted down the pants in search of his phone.

But the way Bucky answered his phone, cold and stoic again, made Liz’ eyes snap open to watch him. “Yeah, she’s here. You can tell her yourself,” he said and Liz’ confusion grew, reaching out for his phone and pulling the bed sheets up to cover herself.

“Yeah? Who’s this?”

“Agent Moore? It’s Director Hawk,” the man answered and Liz stomach dropped. This wasn’t going to be good. “We were just informed that Agent Donovan has been killed in an altercation in prison. This proves your theory.”

Inhaling deeply, Liz muttered, “He was of no use from inside a prison. So before he blabs, they off him.”

“Are you alright?” Director Hawk followed up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Liz muttered, pushing her hair out of her face. Holding on for a second, Liz’ plan cemented itself in her brain. This had been the push she had been waiting for. “Director, I’m.. I hate this but… I’m in.”

Catching Bucky’s confused look, Liz smiled sadly and waited for Hawk’s reply.

“Departure in 8 hours. Be ready.”

Ending the call, Liz threw the phone into the sheets in front of her, rubbing her eyes again.

“What was that about?”

“Uhm,” Liz started, laughed humourlessly and finally looked at him. “They offered me a way out and.. I’m taking it. I’m leaving.”

After all, in the end she had realized what Hawk had meant when he had said that dead men can do as they please.