Awakening

I curse as my hand slips off the tool I was using and I cut the palm of my hand on one of the engine parts of my X-Wing. I should be concentrating on what I'm doing not on the dogfight I had almost been shot down in. But when it comes to The First Order It's personal. I hold in most of the pain by squeezing my wrist and grunting and growling slightly as I try not to swear or kick the toolbox next to me in frustration.

I have a sensory processing disorder so I do not feel physical pain as much as other people. Which is quite useful in my line of work. I'm a pilot, trained by the best, but I'm no where near the best pilot in the Resistance, not even a title I would want it'd be too much pressure. I already have enough of that trying to live up to my parents and sister's reputations.

Once the initial pain and shock wears off I wipe the oil off my right hand on my half down flightsuit. I get the clean cloth from my pocket that I would have used to wipe the oil off my hands, and wrap my wound to stop the bleeding until I get to the infirmary. As I'm using my right hand and my teeth to tie off the makeshift bandage I spot Poe standing over by his ship looking like he and BB8 are getting ready to go somewhere even though he's not in his flight suit. I start to make my way towards him.

"Hey, flyboy! Thought you'd leave without saying goodbye?" I call over playfully as he's about to climb the ladders into his ship. He stops and turns to look at me holding his hand up to block out the rising sun so he can see me, he smiles before jumping off the ladders.

BB8 bleeps saying they're not going to be long and telling me not to worry.

"We'll be back before you know it" Poe adds smiling, squinting a little to keep the sun out of his eyes.

"You going to tell me where you're going?" I ask curiously as I walk around the ship's nose and lean on the side crossing my arms. So that I've not got the hot sun on my back. He moves so that the X-Wing is blocking the sun from shining on his face and he's smiling until he notices the bandage on my hand causing his expression to change to one of concern.

"That depends, are you going to tell me what happened to your hand?" He asks pointing to my left hand which is resting on my right arm.

"Oh, that..." I say moving my hand to look at the bandaged palm, I'd almost forgotten about it since I can't feel the pain anymore. Knowing he won't answer my question unless I answer his I'm forthcoming about it.

"I wasn't concentrating as I was working on my ship, my hand slipped and I scratched myself" I say dismissively

"Let me see" he says moving closer and motioning with his hand for me to give him mine. He knows about my sensory processing disorder and what I call a scratch he would likely call a gaping wound.

Too tired to argue after being up all night I reluctantly lean off the x wing and hold out my hand and he gently starts to unwrap the bandage.

"So, are you going to tell me where you're going?" I ask as I look at him, not at my hand.

"A planet called Jakku, a settlement called Tuanul. The General has asked me to go" he replies looking up at me for a moment as he unwraps the last layer of fabric before looking at the wound.

"You need to get your hand looked at by a doctor" he states simply looking at the wound that's still bleeding.

"Errand boy now?" I tease ignoring his comment.

"You hear me?" He asks giving me a serious look as he starts to retie the bandage tighter than I previously had it. I sigh and nod, as much as my SPD is useful I'm never aware of how bad my wounds are, pain is what indicates how bad something is and I never realise because I lack that neural sense. It makes me feel like a burden.

"Must be really important if she's asking you to go" I say also on serious note.

"I'm going to find a map that may lead to her brother. Apparently the First Order are also looking for it, I need to find it first"

"People still believe he can help us? He's not been seen for at least twenty years, how do we know he's even alive?" I ask. I look around as I realise something. No one else is suiting up to go with him. "You're going alone?" I ask not in the least bit alright with this idea.

He simply nods in response to which I frown. The situation is too much like how I lost my sister. She was a Resistance Pilot. One of the best, her and Poe were unbeatable in an X-Wing, but she was captured and killed by The First Order when I was fifteen. It's been seven years since, she was only twenty five. After she was killed by The First Order while chasing a rumour of Luke I stopped believing that someone who was supposed to be the last Jedi could help us. The Jedi and Sith are just made up as much as I want to believe in a mystical power, I don't. My sister did and it got her killed.

"Don't look so worried, I'll be gone a few hours at most" he says trying to reassure me.

"I'm coming with you" I state.

He shakes his head "The General needs you here" he says placing his hands on my shoulders "I need you here" he adds. I pull a face and reluctantly agree. "Less chance of being detected if there are any First Order in the area" he adds

I can't deny that it's true. But I don't like it.

"Fine, but if you're not back in a few hours I'm coming to get you" I say simply. He chuckles and nods. If he thinks I am joking I am not.

"I don't doubt that for a second" he says amused

"You..." I say pointing at him "Be careful..." I poke him in the chest lightly "don't make me come after you..." I say worried about him.

"You..." He says imitating me "Get your hand sorted" he says poking my nose I bat his hand away playfully, with my good hand amused and cheered up a little by the action. "and stop worrying about me, I know what I'm doing" he says confidently.

"You always do, and you always get in trouble" we both chuckle at my comment until we fall silent, but it's not an awkward silence, it's one of agreement and understanding. Nothing else is said until BB8 interrupts the silence reminding Poe that they have to go.

"Be careful" I say as I start to move backwards. He grins before climbing into his cockpit. "BB8" I call. He looks at me and beeps curiously. "Take care of him for me" he beeps reassuringly and I smile and nod.

I stand far enough back as a technician removes the ladders from the X-Wing before Poe closes his cockpit and lifts off from the ground, looking at me and giving me a thumbs up before flying into the atmosphere. I watch until I can't see him before looking at the ground worried about him.

As I agreed, I go to the infirmary to get my hand looked at.

“Amara, what brings you here?” Asks James, he's one of a few doctors who know about my condition. He's also a friend. He looks at me curiously and I hold up my bandaged hand as explanation.

“I see, come on, sit yourself down” He says moving over to a bed and motioning for me to follow.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and my hand is injected with aesthetic before being stitched up, unfortunately here on our little base we do not have access to a lot of the advanced healing technology so I have to have stitches. The closed wound is then smothered in ointment and a bandage in the form of an elasticated fingerless glove.

“Now make sure you don't do anything to strenuous with that hand for a few days, otherwise you may split the stitches and need to come back to get them re-sewn” James explains.

“Thank you Dr Vega” I say playfully, knowing he dislikes me calling him that. He looks at me half amused noticing my cheeky facial expression.

“Go on, get outta' here Lola” He says smiling. Lola is his nickname for me, he always gives people a new name, I guess it's his way of remembering people.

“Thanks James” I say smiling and standing up and trying to move my numb hand, only the finger tips move.

I return to my quarters and sit on my bed to read a book. I'll get back to my ship to finish fixing it up after the aesthetic wears off but for now I'll relax.
I ended up falling asleep as I was reading, after not sleeping all night it's no surprise really.
But what I can't rationalise is why I wake up with a bad feeling as though I have just had a nightmare without the nightmare, a lump forms in my throat as I think of Poe as the feeling of danger increases. I sit up on my bed and continue reading where I left off as I try to ignore this feeling. Unable to shake it after a while I get a drink of water to see if that would help. But then I get a scary thought, an hour before I was told my sister was killed I had the same feeling. I put the glass down and grab my jacket as I leave my room quickly, pulling it on as I head to the command centre in the hopes of finding General Organa. I see her talking to my parents in the corner of the room. Could this just be a silly worry I'm having, or a bad reaction to the anaesthetic? Should I really bother her with it? I stand there contemplating what I should do and I decide to ask for permission to go after Poe.

“I need you to go to Hosnian Prime and talk to the senate on my behalf-” She's saying to my parents. My father, A former Rebel pilot who helped in the battles of both Death Stars. And my mother, also a former Rebel pilot who helped destroy the first Death Star but mostly known for being a brilliant engineer who helped General Organa and General Solo in the battle of Endor. Now they're diplomats In The New Republic on behalf of the Resistance.

“General?” The trio stop talking and look at me. I feel out of place surrounded by officers, no matter our relations. I'm only a captain but I'm sure that's only because of who my parent's are and because Leia is like another mother to me. “I'm sorry to interrupt” I say wondering how to word what I'm about to ask. “I believe that Poe may be in trouble, I would like your permission to go after him?” I ask. It's no secret that Poe and I are close, we have been since my sister introduced me to him when I was ten the tree of us were inseparable.

“What has made you think that Poe is in danger?” She asks curiously

“I'm not sure, I've just... Got a bad feeling about it that I can not get rid of” I say honestly

“We have no reason to believe that he is in any danger, I can't send you after him on a feeling you've got, I am sorry Amara” Leia says looking at me apologetically

I had the same feeling when...” I look at my parents “When Anna died...”

Marie and Malcom look at each other unsure what to make of it.

“Amara, that is probably why you feel worried, because you don't want to loose him like we lost Anna” My mother says softly “He will be back shortly, you don't need to worry”

I nod, I didn't think that they would understand, but seeing how I wasn't ordered to stay... I'm going to go anyway, with or without permission.
I head to my ship and climb in, I start up my engine before strapping in and shoving my helmet on. I do a few quick pre flight checks and look up as I notice a few people waving their arms at me.

“Captain Harding, you are not clear for take off, please disengage engines” I hear in my coms from the air traffic controller. I don;t reply so they say again “Captain Harding, disengage engines, I repeat, disengage engines” I turn off my communicator and take off from the ground before even closing the cockpit. I'll no doubt be court marshalled when I return, because of this unsanctioned departure but right now I don't care. All I care about at the moment is my friend. I close the cockpit and fly to the upper atmosphere. As soon as I'm clear of the planet I jump into light speed.
I have never done anything like this before so I can feel myself shaking nervously, but I felt that it was necessary, a feeling in my gut that this is the right thing to do. I mentally berate myself as I contemplate contacting base. I eventually decide to contact the base to let them know my status and it's the General who answers.
"Amara-"
"I know what you're going to say" I say cutting her off "I'm not coming back, not yet. I'm sorry"
"Amara. What are you thinking? This is not like you. Come back to base." She says sounding concerned.
I shake my head regretting contacting the base, I'm not even sure why I did it.
"I'm almost at Jakku, I know I left without permission but you know I would not do it without good reason. I can't explain it, but I need to do this" I say as I press a few buttons before dropping out of light speed.
I swear as I see a large Star Destroyer in front of me. I dropped out barely able to pull away before I hit it. I quickly head for the planet as I get a locked on message popping up on my display. I see a small explosion go off closer to the planet and something go smoking through the atmosphere of the planet. A ship? Poe?
"Amara what's going on?" Leia asks sounding even more concerned.
"The First Order!" I say as I see they've opened fire at me. I curse again and head towards the planet. I can hear the general in my ear but I don't respond, the missiles are getting closer and thankfully I'm able to out manoeuvre them for the most part as I descend towards the planet, but they are gaining on me.
I swear as warning sounds go off because of all the manoeuvring and I feel my engine give up on me.
"No! No! No! Not now!"
As I enter the planets atmosphere I spot a fire in my left upper engine which is got damaged in my last dogfight with the First Order. I thought I had fixed that damn thing, and now it seems it'll be the death of me.
My wings break off and thankfully the missiles hit the wing debris, now I'm just spiralling towards the ground. There's nothing I can do but hope I survive the impact. The last thing I see is the sand swirling in front of me as I'm spinning towards the ground, the last thing I hear is the general calling my name as warning alarms are going off. And then. Silence...