In Your Eyes
Chapter Six
Over time, Arella began feeling more comfortable around Dr. Juniper. During one of their sessions, the doctor pulled out a separate notepad. She handed that and a quill to Arella.
“We’re going to do something different today,” she explained. “It’s a new concept and I use it when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed.” She filled her quill with ink. “You start with a circle,” she said and did so. “Now, without really thinking about it, you just make shapes. They don’t have to be perfect, they don’t even have to be a pattern. Just let your quill do the job.”
Arella was doubtful but did as she suggested. At first, she felt nothing, but as the quill continued to glide over the paper, she suddenly felt lighthearted. She could feel her muscles start to loosen up and she relaxed more in the armchair. When the first circle was full, she made a second, unaware that the doctor was watching her with a smile on her face.
When the end of the session came, Arella showed her the work she had done.
“What did you feel while you were doing it?” Dr. Juniper asked.
Arella considered for a second. “I felt good,” she said in surprise. “I didn’t feel as tense as I normally do.”
The doctor nodded and gave her a journal. “This is for you. It’s for whatever you want to use it for. You can use it to do more of those drawings, and you can also use it to write your thoughts down.”
“Thank you.”
“Good afternoon, your Highness,” she said, opening the door.
Arella hesitated. “Doctor?” She looked up from her book. “You can call me Arella.”
“As long as you call me Dorothy,” she said with a smile and Arella nodded before shutting the door quietly behind her.
Arella stopped by her bedroom and looked at the journal in her hands. For the first time in several years, she felt like smiling.
-
At dinner that evening, Arella struggled to think of something to say.
“That robe you got me is wonderfully comfortable,” her father said, beaming at her.
“I’m glad. Have you been able to use your yarn yet?” she asked her mother who nodded and pulled out a box from her lap.
“I made this for you,” she said, grinning.
Arella opened the box. It was a golden scarf.
“Wow,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome,” her mother smiled.
Arella took a late evening stroll on the grounds and heard footsteps behind her. Mathias walked beside her.
“May I join you?” he asked, offering his arm and she nodded, taking his arm. “You look better, by the way.”
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I feel better.” She hesitated. “Will you come with me somewhere?”
“Of course,” he said and she led him through the forest.
She was nervous. The only other person she had brought here was her mother after the funeral. She had never brought a stranger before.
He and Dorothy aren’t really strangers anymore, though, she thought as they stepped over the roots.
They approached the stream and she put her hand on the trunk of their tree.
“We used to swing on that branch,” she said, pointing at it. “Only during the summer, though. During winter it would freeze over. When we couldn’t get to the lake, we’d skate on the stream. Maybe we can do that this winter.”
“It sounds like fun,” he nodded.
She stopped and sighed. “Over here is why I’m here,” she whispered and led him to the grave. He hung back as she knelt over it. “He wanted to be buried here,” she explained. “He had his first kiss with a girl from the village here. She loved him and he loved her. Her and her family moved away shortly before he died….”
“Are you sure you want me here?” he asked softly.
She stood back up. “I’ve been coming to this grave every day for three years,” she continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “My parents always said that I spent too much time here, in fact. They said that I was only hurting myself even more. Dorothy said something like that, too, come to think of it.” Mathias stood next to her, taking her hand. “But this morning, I woke up and realized I haven’t been here in over a week.” She frowned. “I felt like such a terrible sister.”
“You’re not,” he assured her.
“But what if I’m forgetting about him?” she whispered. “What if he misses me?”
He sighed and hugged her. She froze in his arms but he didn’t let her go. She couldn’t help it but started sobbing. He rubbed her back as she cried.
“You’ll never forget about him, Princess,” he said. “It’s impossible to. He was your brother. And you’ll see each other again.”
“Mathias?”
“Yes, Princess?” he whispered, his head resting on hers.
“Call me Arella.”
“If you wish,” he said softly.
--
“Dorothy, I think I’m ready to start talking about Paul,” Arella whispered at their next session.
Dorothy sat up straight. “Really?”
She nodded, looking at her hands which she had folded in her lap. “But I don’t want to do it here.”
“Where do you want to go?”
She took a deep breath. “His grave,” she said. “I took Mathias there yesterday and I realized I’m ready.”
So, they put some shoes on and headed out to the grave. Arella didn’t talk as they walked; her heart was throbbing painfully in her chest. She wondered if she was doing the right thing. But it was the only place she felt comfortable enough to talk to her about him.
They reached his grave and she sat beside his tombstone, staring at it. Dorothy settled on the other side. Neither woman spoke and Arella was thankful Dorothy wasn’t pushing her.
She took a deep breath and started to talk.
“We’re going to do something different today,” she explained. “It’s a new concept and I use it when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed.” She filled her quill with ink. “You start with a circle,” she said and did so. “Now, without really thinking about it, you just make shapes. They don’t have to be perfect, they don’t even have to be a pattern. Just let your quill do the job.”
Arella was doubtful but did as she suggested. At first, she felt nothing, but as the quill continued to glide over the paper, she suddenly felt lighthearted. She could feel her muscles start to loosen up and she relaxed more in the armchair. When the first circle was full, she made a second, unaware that the doctor was watching her with a smile on her face.
When the end of the session came, Arella showed her the work she had done.
“What did you feel while you were doing it?” Dr. Juniper asked.
Arella considered for a second. “I felt good,” she said in surprise. “I didn’t feel as tense as I normally do.”
The doctor nodded and gave her a journal. “This is for you. It’s for whatever you want to use it for. You can use it to do more of those drawings, and you can also use it to write your thoughts down.”
“Thank you.”
“Good afternoon, your Highness,” she said, opening the door.
Arella hesitated. “Doctor?” She looked up from her book. “You can call me Arella.”
“As long as you call me Dorothy,” she said with a smile and Arella nodded before shutting the door quietly behind her.
Arella stopped by her bedroom and looked at the journal in her hands. For the first time in several years, she felt like smiling.
-
At dinner that evening, Arella struggled to think of something to say.
“That robe you got me is wonderfully comfortable,” her father said, beaming at her.
“I’m glad. Have you been able to use your yarn yet?” she asked her mother who nodded and pulled out a box from her lap.
“I made this for you,” she said, grinning.
Arella opened the box. It was a golden scarf.
“Wow,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome,” her mother smiled.
Arella took a late evening stroll on the grounds and heard footsteps behind her. Mathias walked beside her.
“May I join you?” he asked, offering his arm and she nodded, taking his arm. “You look better, by the way.”
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I feel better.” She hesitated. “Will you come with me somewhere?”
“Of course,” he said and she led him through the forest.
She was nervous. The only other person she had brought here was her mother after the funeral. She had never brought a stranger before.
He and Dorothy aren’t really strangers anymore, though, she thought as they stepped over the roots.
They approached the stream and she put her hand on the trunk of their tree.
“We used to swing on that branch,” she said, pointing at it. “Only during the summer, though. During winter it would freeze over. When we couldn’t get to the lake, we’d skate on the stream. Maybe we can do that this winter.”
“It sounds like fun,” he nodded.
She stopped and sighed. “Over here is why I’m here,” she whispered and led him to the grave. He hung back as she knelt over it. “He wanted to be buried here,” she explained. “He had his first kiss with a girl from the village here. She loved him and he loved her. Her and her family moved away shortly before he died….”
“Are you sure you want me here?” he asked softly.
She stood back up. “I’ve been coming to this grave every day for three years,” she continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “My parents always said that I spent too much time here, in fact. They said that I was only hurting myself even more. Dorothy said something like that, too, come to think of it.” Mathias stood next to her, taking her hand. “But this morning, I woke up and realized I haven’t been here in over a week.” She frowned. “I felt like such a terrible sister.”
“You’re not,” he assured her.
“But what if I’m forgetting about him?” she whispered. “What if he misses me?”
He sighed and hugged her. She froze in his arms but he didn’t let her go. She couldn’t help it but started sobbing. He rubbed her back as she cried.
“You’ll never forget about him, Princess,” he said. “It’s impossible to. He was your brother. And you’ll see each other again.”
“Mathias?”
“Yes, Princess?” he whispered, his head resting on hers.
“Call me Arella.”
“If you wish,” he said softly.
--
“Dorothy, I think I’m ready to start talking about Paul,” Arella whispered at their next session.
Dorothy sat up straight. “Really?”
She nodded, looking at her hands which she had folded in her lap. “But I don’t want to do it here.”
“Where do you want to go?”
She took a deep breath. “His grave,” she said. “I took Mathias there yesterday and I realized I’m ready.”
So, they put some shoes on and headed out to the grave. Arella didn’t talk as they walked; her heart was throbbing painfully in her chest. She wondered if she was doing the right thing. But it was the only place she felt comfortable enough to talk to her about him.
They reached his grave and she sat beside his tombstone, staring at it. Dorothy settled on the other side. Neither woman spoke and Arella was thankful Dorothy wasn’t pushing her.
She took a deep breath and started to talk.