In Your Eyes

Arella woke but she didn’t open her eyes. She felt groggy. She could tell it was night time. Then she heard two people crying. She opened her eyes to see her parents kneeling on either side of her. For a moment she couldn’t think of why they were crying but everything come rushing back.

She sat up and her father quickly caught her.

“Calm down,” he said quickly but she struggled.

“Let me go!” she cried. “Where is she? Where is that traitor!?”

“Dorothy isn’t a traitor,” her mother said firmly.

Arella tried to throw off her father’s hands. “Not her! Gazelle! The little tramp!”

Her father shook her. “Calm down, Arella! Now what are you talking about?”

Before she could say anything, Dorothy and Mathias came in, having heard her shouts.

“Arella,” Dorothy said, coming to her side as the queen backed away, “how much do you remember?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

Arella stopped fighting her father. “We were talking at Paul’s grave and I….”

She couldn’t finish as she felt her hair.

“No,” she gasped, pulling the blankets off to reveal her exposed midriff and arms. There were bandages along her arms and a large one on her stomach. “Oh, no. Please tell me I didn’t!”

She buried her face in her father’s chest.

--

As soon as she moved the blanket, Mathias turned his back. He couldn’t stand to see the scars. That and the fact she was naked from them having to replace her bandages. She cried for a long time and the queen came up on his other side.

“I need you to do me a favor,” she said and took him out of the room.

-

It took three days for Arella to calm down. Her mother evened out her hair and spent all of her time with Arella. Unfortunately, Arella had lapsed into silence. She hadn’t spoken a word since the incident and not even Dorothy could get her to open up. On the third day, the queen sent word for Mathias to get ready.

He changed into his riding outfit and knocked timidly on the bedroom door. The queen opened and let him in. Arella was sitting at the foot of her bed, dressed in her riding gear but she didn’t get up.

“Come on, Arella,” he said softly, taking her hands.

He pulled her to her feet and led her to the stables. The stable hand looked confused at her silence but saddled up her horse all the same. Mathias practically lifted her up there himself then mounted the other horse. He took Minnie’s reins in his hands and urged the two horses forward. Arella stayed mute the entire way.

“I want you to get her out of here,” the queen had said. “Take her some place so she can get her mind off of all of this. Please.”

He had promised to do so and knew just where to take her. It was late summer now and the forest was warm. Even though the sun was shining, though, it felt overcast and grey. He turned off the path and steered the horses towards the secret lake. When they got there, Mathias let the horses graze and took Arella’s hands again.

“Arella,” he said, looking into her eyes. She looked back but her eyes seemed dead. “Arella, please. You can’t be like this anymore.”

“You don’t know how I can be,” she said finally. Her voice was hollow. “I shouldn’t be here, Mathias. I should have died that night with Paul.”

He shook his head firmly. “No. You belong here. Would Paul want you thinking like this?”

“What does it matter?” she asked, trying to get loose from his hands. “He’s dead.”

He held fast. “Not to you, remember? You told me he was always with you. What would he say right now if he were standing with us?”

Her eyes travelled across the river. “He- He would tell me to smile.” Her lower lip began to tremble as tears leaked out of her eyes. “He would tell me not to shut myself away. To grieve, but not die inside.” She fell to her knees and he pulled her into a hug. “I can’t smile, Mathias!” she sobbed, gripping his shirt. “I have to shut myself away!”

“But why?” he asked.

“Because I know who did it!” she confessed and his heart skipped a beat. “I know and there’s nothing I can do!”

“Who did it?” he whispered, his mouth going dry.

She sniffled. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It does.”

“Why?”

“You need closure,” he said, pulling away and looking into her amber eyes. “You and your parents. Is that what he said to you?”

She nodded, closing her eyes. She tried to turn her face away but he held it so she couldn’t.

“It was Gazelle’s father,” she said, another sob escaping her throat. “Gazelle told him that my brother had raped her so he snuck into the palace and- and-”

She couldn’t finish and he held her close, letting her cry. His heart broke for her and suddenly his hands jerked. His eyes shot open.

“No. Not now.”

“What?” she sniffed, looking at him.

His hands jerked again and he gasped, falling forward so that he fell onto her lap.

“Mathias?” she cried. “What’s wrong?”

His eyes rolled back to his head.

--

Arella stayed with him. She didn’t really know what to do except for keeping him from hitting his head. She couldn’t seem to stop her tears and, when the seizure was over, she dragged him closer to the water. She tore a strip off her dress and soaked it in the cool water. She dabbed at his face until he came to.

“I am so sorry,” he said after being sick by the water.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, wiping the tears from her face.

He sat up and stared at her. He sighed heavily and pulled her so that she was lying down. She put her head on his shoulder and fell asleep instantly.

-

When she woke back up, it was late evening and they were still by the lake. Mathias was pale but seemed fine otherwise.

“How long was I asleep?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

“A couple hours,” he answered.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I’ve had so many seizures I’m used to it by now.” He looked at her seriously. “There is one thing that’s bothering me, though.”

“What?”

“What you did to yourself.”

Arella looked down in shame. She tried to hide her face then remembered she had cut most of her hair off.

“Why would you do that?”

“I feel so guilty, Mathias,” she whispered.

“What could you have done?”

“I should have told Mother and Father right away but Paul made me promise I wouldn’t.”

He lifted her face gently by the chin. “You have to tell them, you know.”

She nodded and got lost in his eyes. In the setting sun, the blue looked like pools of dark water. She touched his lips and he leaned forward. The air around them was charged with electricity as she closed her eyes. He touched their lips together very gently and brushed his nose against hers.

“I hope that was okay,” he whispered.

“It was more than okay,” she whispered back and kissed him again.