I Cannot Walk Away

What the fuck did I do last night.

I read the note over and over again, trying to make sense of where I went and what I did, but nothing even came to mind. Last I even remember is coming home... guess I didn't stay home. I walked around my room, putting the note on my dresser, Z.. what the hell could that mean, who did I meet? what did I do? god I must be in some serious shit. What if I owe someone money and they tried to kill me last night and I ran home and stole their drugs? All these thoughts where running through my head as I realized I had no drugs left to keep me the next three days. Mother fucker it's only Wednesday.

I went to the bathroom, stripped myself down naked, beginning to realize how much pain I am in, drug less, god this is going to be some day, No bruises on my body, nothing out of the ordinary so that means I am ok, for the most part, I need to do something about myself being sober cause that I just can't do. I brushed my teeth and threw on some decent clothes, I realized the shirt I was wearing was one of his, I don't even want to know how I got this, maybe I had it for a long time and I did not know it or I was too high to even know I had it because I would hate to think I got it last night or something crazy Like that.

I made it work 15 minutes late as usual, Alex just glared at me but we both knew we needed one another so I didn't mind is glare, it was kind of sexy anyways, wait did I just say that... my boss? yes he had blondish spiked hair and muscular and has sleeves of tattoos, we where both the same height and he had these green eyes.. Holy shit what am I doing.

"What are you doing Amy" Alex spat at me, dear god he does look good up close, come to think of it I do not remember the last time we where this close.

"oh Nothing sir asshole, thinking of what to do next" I responded smirking, he has these dimples that where to dye for and these snake bites, hey I knew someone who had those... Z ...

I watched as Alex walked away from me, muttering something under his breath that I could not hear. I needed to be un sober real quick because I did not want to have these feeling for my boss, or even have my boss come into my head because somehow I knew I was way out of his league, to him I was just an employee, someone who drew bad ass shit and was a bit off, Alex did not know I was a drug addict, and I plan to make sure he did not know anything about it. I needed this job, this was the first job I had got right after johnny left me. I do not want to remember those times because they are too painful for me to remember.. the disappointment on his face, the wedding we should have had, the one I fucked up, I was so happy. Now I am just some crumble of what I was mixed with drugs.

I headed out of work about a half hour early, surprisingly Alex had let me go home early, shocker he must be in a good mood. I could not get his face out of my head. I looked down at my phone, and found Matt's number, I may have shot myself in the foot for this one, If I have enough money for this I hope I can buy Saturday too, I have always made it last, this time I can't, what changed this time. I heard Matt answer the phone, I asked him If he can give me a hit, and just what I expected he delivered.

About an hour later I had enough to last me until Saturday, a little was all I needed, if I used it in moderation, but at the rate I was going, that was going to be next to fucking impossible. In a way I hope using would be a way to help me remember what I could not this morning, why there was a note on my chest, and what the letter Z was to stand for, soon I would find out. I began to get myself ready, arm all strapped up check, bag and needle check, I tapped a vein soon I would have to be using another spot this one is getting too worn, I began to count myself down, 3, 2, 1 ouch, soon sweet relief.

I made my way down to some club in no time, I must have been sprinting because I could not have got here that fast If I tried. I did not remember this place, nor I had no clue where I was this time, but I was ready for some fun. I made my way into the club, I began to look around for the bar, ah, there she is. The bartender looked me over "Jack Daniels please" I smiled, I guess he didn't care cause I got the shot in no time, I drank it in a flash and made my way to the back of the bar, I spotted a bottle and when this dudes back was turned the bottle was mine! I made my way around the club looking for a spot to sit and hide from the bartender who reminded me of the fat dude in harry potter. I was half way into my drink as someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was met with a gorgeous pair of green eyes, and his body was amazing.

"Hey sexy lady" he slurred, I smiled back at him as he took a seat next to me.

"Hey yourself handsome" I responded, one bottle of Jack would do nothing for me, if I was able to get three then we are talking me getting drunk. Me and mysterious stranger kept talking most of the night until he took my hand and began leading me out of the club.

"Where are we going babe" I smirked trying my best to sound seductive

"M-My house" He slurred, damn was he drunk as shit. I watched as his arms shown in the moonlight I noticed the tattoos lining up and down his arms, it was sexy as hell to me, and I wanted nothing more then to see the rest of his toned body. Once we reached his apartment and got inside, he pushed me up against the wall, hungrily kissing me like there was no tomorrow and I was loving every second of it. He pushed me down on the bed, taking his shirt off in one motion and god damn it was even better off then before, he was perfectly toned with a chest tattoo, and a six pack, the climbed on top of me removing my shirt and my bra.

"I like your tattoos babe" He grinned as he sunk his teeth into my neck as I moaned slightly with pleasure.

within no time the rest of my clothes where off and so where his, I was aching at his touch as it's been forever since someone has touched me this way. I felt him as he began to finger me, watching me moan, I couldn't take it any longer, I needed it as bad as I craved drugs. "Oh baby more" I moaned knowing he would do as I say, he bent down between my legs licking and sucking as he kept pumping his fingers back in forth, I could not help but scream out in pleasure as I needed more of his touch, it has been far too long. Not long after he climbed back on top of me licking his lips, I was quivering with desire as I couldn't wait for him to enter me, making me melt with every thrust. "Give it to me baby" I begged, he smirked at the sound of me begging and he did what I commanded, I felt him enter me and god it felt amazing. With each thrust I moaned louder, wrapping my legs around him, scratching my nails into my skin drove him wild. I couldn't take it any longer as I felt myself explode screaming in pleasure as I knew he finished as well. He got off me and licked his lips, breathing heavily he disappeared someplace in the house.

I rolled myself over and found my underwear throwing it on and going to find a blanket, I was too washed out to even get myself home and I knew I did not 100% know the location of where I was. I felt him lay back down in the bed with me, wrapping his arms around my waist. With this I let myself go to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. I opened my eyes and rolled over confused as all fuck, where was I this time, and why the hell am I naked. I shot myself up as I tried to remember last night, but I had no luck.

"Morning" A tall heavily tattooed man said coming into the bedroom, My eyes went wide, oh my god.

"Alex, as In my freaking boss" I yelled trying my best to cover myself up. I saw him look at me and his eyes go wide as he looked at me and then the clothes on the floor.

"How the fuck did you get here" He spat looking pissed as hell, gee I would wonder how the hell I got here.

" I have no idea, But I think I have a pretty good idea what the hell we did last night" I growled. I hurried around the room, finding my clothes and putting the on as quick as I could. I couldn't help but know Alex was watching me the whole time as I was running out the door.

"Amy" he called after me, I whipped my head around to face him now fully clothed

"I will drive you home, just don't tell anyone and tomorrow don't come into fucking work please" He said as he grabbed a set of keys off the floor. I nodded as we walked out the door and got in to the car as he took me home. I do not remember anything of last night and I did not want to ask any questions.

Once safely back home, I went to my room and took out my needle and such and began to pour the remaining content into the needle as I needed the shit into my veins as quick as I could, this I needed to forget, I could not bare the thought of another man on me as guilt began to come into my head. The last thing I could remember was His face the day he left me at our wedding full of sadness, god how I hated as I broke his heart. But mine was broken too.