I Cannot Walk Away

-Amy Pov-

I woke up the next morning feeling much worse then I ever could. I did not know what time It was but the sunlight from the window felt so good on my face. I never felt the sunlight on my face in such a long time because I was too high to notice it. There began a rumble in my stomach and I did not know if it was from hunger or it was from needing to vomit. I did lie when I said I was not taking drugs when Alex said not too. Old habits die hard.

I made my way down the long wooden hall and Into the bathroom. The house seemed so quite at this time, yet it could be four in the afternoon and I would have no idea. I looked at myself in the mirror, god I looked horrible! My blondish brown hair was now shoulder length and oh so out of style. Clearly I was in desperate need of a cut and a color. Once I finished my business in the bathroom I made my way down the hall and began to find my way to the fridge. when was the last time I ate anyways

Once in the kitchen I noticed everyone outside on the deck either smoking or drinking, just having a grand old time. It made me think what the hell am I doing here. That is when I noticed her, her sitting on his lap minding her own business, this was not the pretty put together girl I met at the bar that night when I was hung out of my mind and think I got attacked by the band. Nope this was some different girl, This was some stranger. I felt my heart sink.

"Amy" Someone called out to me. I turned back and looked out the glass window and there was Alex, none other then my Old tattoo boss. I guess somewhere along the way I forgot to mention Alex was in a heavy metal band and apparently where very good friends with the guys. This is what I get for seducing men while I am drinking and I am high, nothing good ever comes out of it. Fear entered my body as Alex came closer to me with a big smile on his face. I never told Brian who attacked me and I guess I forgot who Alex was, how close he was with Brian. I could not more away from the counter where my breakfast was and all of a sudden I was not hungry, but instead I remembered all the times Alex took me into the office and did what he did to me.

"Get away from me" I yelled. I saw his face twitch and I saw the anger coming out of him. I began to get scared now. I now found myself in the living room all alone, of course where was the guys when I needed them.

"Now Amy don't run away from me, I am lucky I found you. You need to come back to work, a lot of people have been asking about you" His body was inches from mine and I could feel his breath on my skin, It sent a shiver up my spine and not in a good way.

"Leave me alone Alex, I am not playing your game anymore. I am done" He snarled at me and shook my shoulders and took another step closer to me "You will do what I say or I will make sure they all know the little whore you are" He hissed.

"Hey man back off will ya? clearly she wants to be left alone" I heard his voice in the background and I opened my eyes to peak behind Alex to reveal Johnny standing there pissed. Alex let go of me and walked off. Without hesitation I quickly made my way back up to where I was staying, looks like It was time to leave.

"Amy are you ok" he spoke to me once I was upstairs, I turned around to look at him and didn't know what to say, what could I say, The truth? No.

"I am fine" I spat walking off to take a shower. Johnny stopped me putting his hands on my shoulders I could not deny I missed his touch but that was the past now. He looked me dead in the eye and forced me to sit on the edge of the bed with him.

" I do not know what happened but please tell me, I do not know if you saw Ashley but she means nothing to me, nothing like you do. Tell me why you are afraid of Alex"

"Is there something wrong with your hearing Johnny, I said I am fine, I can take care of myself. I do not need a fucking babysitter and I am for one thing not afraid of anyone" I growled turning to leave back to the bathroom God i must be so obvious for him. But what does he care, he has Ashley

"Your not leaving here unless I go with you" He yelled back at me. I laughed at his comment, is he kidding me, where I am going he will not make it. "I am going back to my home, my drug addict ways and there is nothing you can do to stop me, It was a mistake coming here and asking for help" I replied slamming the bathroom door shut so I can shower in piece.

Once I was done with my shower I noticed the loud music and laughter was all around the house, I knew if I stepped out in a towel someone will see me, thank god I took some clothes with me. I dried up and put on my clothes and headed back to my room. I grabbed my things and began to decide if I should walk out the front door with dignity and risk being seen by Alex and Johnny or if I should take the coward way out and make a be line for the window. Fuck it Army Brat lets go out with some dignity. Your better then them anyways well here goes nothing.

I made the way to the living room, the Xbox was playing capturing Matt and Brandon's attention two people I once had so much trust in I can only see as people I used to know. I didn't care too much for goodbyes. I continued to the door and over my shoulder I could see Johnny looking at me with a sad expression while Ashley was desperately trying to get his attention. I didn't notice he saved off his Mohawk, god I always loved that. I could feel Alex's eyes burning a hole in the back of my neck someplace.

"Going someplace pretty lady" Alex said as he blocked my way to the door. fucking bastard

"Yes actually, I need some smokes" I said as sweet as can be. I watched as he went beside the door to let me out. "Be back soon" I fake smiled back at him. I could see his glaring at me and watching me as I left. It was a shame they all could not see it.

-Johnny pov-

I got up quickly as I watched her walk out the door, I could see her body language as Alex spoke to her and I did not like how he treated her, if he did hurt her how I think I will make sure he will never touch her again.

"Alex care for a smoke man" I asked handing him a cigarette, He looked at me with curiosity but took it and followed me outside.

"Stay away from her" I yelled making sure to get in his face. He smirked at me, I knew he was bigger then me but It did not matter this was my Wife I am talking about, it does not matter if we did not marry she will always be mine, the hole in my heart cannot heal until she is home.

"Are you out of you fucking mind short shit, she is easy as they come and she works at my shop. She is always on drugs and seduced me first!" He spat back pushing me back onto the grass.

"That's my wife you piece of shit! I know she had done things I am not proud to admit but who the fuck cares, I made mistakes too. I saw how she acted around you, if you touch her again I will kill you" I yelled. I could see him rolling his head back laughing. There was always this one thing I nor Amy did not like about Alex and it was his attitude she always said there was something about him that he could cause great damage one day.

Jimmy came to my side with a concerned look "You made me put my beer down, what the hell are you hollering about" He questioned, but I could tell he knew what I knew, I did not have to say it. 4

"keep your short shit out of my site before I break him" He said pointing his finger at me. I just flipped him off as he walked away getting in his car and driving off.

"dude that was not smart" Jimmy stated.

"No no it wasn't but something had to be done, you should have seen here in there Jim, he scared her and I think she is afraid of him. Hard to believe my Rock hard Military brat wife or should have been wife if afraid of a lead singer of a metal band" I chucked.

Out came Michelle clearly pissed off because people where leaving. Her and Val where known for their parties and I along with Jimmy and Amy where known for crashing them, mainly Amy who always drank too much with Jimmy and they ended up raising hell.

"Johnny what the fuck, all this yelling and ruining yet another party over your ex druggie" she held her hands on her hips waiting for some type of answer I was in no mood to give. Why should I. Amy always did the talking, not that I couldn't she just had a better way with words.

"I'm sorry I am leaving and I am taking Jim with me, I have, er we have some business to handle. Let's go Rev"

About a half hour later we ended up at this pup Amy used to take me too when we first began dating, I guess they still have this really spicy burger she always loved, maybe we could figure something out here. I looked around the place trying to find her, or a place to sit, this place had got some serious business since I last came here. But It was filled with good memories.

"yo over here lover boy" Jimmy tugged at my arm to get me to follow. There she was reading the newspaper looking for maybe another job. I could not see due to the dim light.

"Ams whats cracking sister" Jimmy yelled sitting down making her jump. Her facial expression turned a little when she saw me sit beside Jimmy.

"How did you" She began "No worries Johnny told me about this place and your love for spice" I was lost looking at her eyes, how pretty they once where and I loved her smile. I missed seeing it every morning when I woke up, now all I see is cooper the dog.

I watched as Amy and Jimmy spoke, they where always good friends. "So Amy what to you say you stay with good ol Jimmy it will be like good old times" He smiled giving me a nod. "ah Jim I don't know, what the fuck to do, I can't stay around long" she paused.

"I can help" I found my voice and all of a sudden words where coming out I could not control. "Johnny no, no that isn't necessary, coming here was a big mistake" I watched her put her head down slowly.

"No Amy the only mistake i have is not getting married, we could have beat this together" I watched her nod slowly. Jimmy lead Amy back to her apartment as I went back to mine as I gathered her old things from our old shared apartment to give back. As I knocked on the door It only took a second for her to answer it and showed me a half a smile.

"I found some of your things from um the uh I found some things of yours I thought you should have. Is Jim around"

"Thank you and yes he is, come in, we where just watching a movie, you remember my favorite movie right? Napoleon dynamite?" I chuckled as I remembered how much she loved that movie and we would always watch it when I came home.

"I'll go put these away" She said disappearing into the hallway.

"Go follow her before I make you" Jimmy chuckled. I guess he could see the smile on my face. "second to the left" He said.

I knocked softly on the door as her head turned around to greet me. "Hi, uh is this ok" I stuttered. she nodded letting me in as I took a seat on her bed. There wasn't much in the room but some of Jimmy's things. I watched her fold the clothes and put them away, it reminded me of when she would fold the clothes in our apartment and make sure everything was neat.

"I'm sorry" she spoke softly " I am sorry I disappointed you, everyone. I did not know how bad I was I did not know how bad until I lost you and I learned something the other day, what they did was for the best Johnny, you did not deserve me, I am a mess.

"I love you, fuck I never stopped loving you. I wanted to kill him today for hurting you and if he" I could not finish my sentence, just thinking about it made my blood boil. She looked at me with a surprised look on her face, one I could not read.

"Are you ok?" I asked waiting for her response.

"why did you say that. that you loved me, you left me and I deserved it. They all said it and for a while I even believed it was true. " I sat on the floor and took her hands into mine, I could never stop feeling a rush of excitement when I touched her. She looked up at me with a small smile. I could not stop myself as I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips felt just as they always did, so perfect. I pulled away from her realizing I had crossed the line.

"I should get going" I stated rather quickly careful not to alarm her.

"No. no it's ok. stay with me I kind of don't want to be alone" I smiled as I began to help her fold the laundry as I filled her in with all the guys and what's been going on for the past three years. She was excited to meet cooper tomorrow, they where running buddies. Hours later and a few beers later the three of us where tired, I knew I should be getting home. Amy went to bed about an hour ago and I was contemplating on saying goodbye. I made my way to her room and walked over by her bed. I gave her a small kiss on the cheek and began to walk out.

"John" she whispered. I forgot she was always a light sleeper. I made my way back over to the bed "Yeah, I was on my way out" I finished

"No, stay with me" She asked, I crawled into bed careful to leave some space between us, I could see her eyes in the moonlight. "Is it ok if I wrap my arms around you" I asked, and she nodded. It felt so good to hold her again, I wish I never left. Now I never will