I Cannot Walk Away
Peace
-Amy-
I walked around Jimmy's apartment a bit longer then I should, I have been meaning to go out and get some type of job but I have been too worried of Alex being around, which Jimmy has been saying he has been looking for me. They do not know what he did to me. I guess it was all my fault.
I heard the front door open as Jimmy walked in with some girl in his arms, this had to be the third one this week.
"Jimmy, hi I did not know you would be home so early" well this can't go well. And damn does she look like a whore.
"Oh yeah, and this is Kelly, we met last night sorry I didn't come home" Thank god he stopped there because I dd not need to hear him again from the other room if you catch my drift. I watched as Kelly looked me up and down, clearly not liking that I was in the apartment, it was obvious Jim did not tell her about me.
There was an awkward silence between us both, something I could not shake, I did not know what to say and from the looks of it, they wanted me to leave. But where was I going? I had no car I had no other place to be.
"Hey Jim, um can I" My voice trailed as he excitedly threw me the keys to his Truck as his eyes lit up. I had no direction in mind but I knew I shouldn't be here. to be honest I did not know where I fit in, everything has been so different.
I arrived at this bar, someplace out of orange county, I don't think it had any connection with the guys or Anyone I knew. Inside the bar was dim, just like your average bar with drunks, a few pool tables and some tables. I sat down at the bar wanting my usual but instead I didn't know what to order, I looked up at the big screen tv on wall behind the bar and I saw a baseball game on, La dodgers and Yankees. I personally hated both teams but hey it was something to watch.
"Fancy seeing you hear lady" I turned around, I knew that voice. Alex.
He stood with his arms folded over his chest, smirking at me, I began to grip the bar making sure I would not leave here with him. I knew he could sense my nervousness, and by the looks of it, he seemed to back down.
"Um hi there Alex" I said pretty nervous. By now I was being able to remember a few of the times I would be "called" into the back room. Things I wanted to forget, but somehow couldn't. I learned from Jim he had a fiancee. what type of man am I dealing with here?
"Amy, fancy seeing you here, thought we could you know catch up" He smiled as he talked and took a seat next to me.
"Sure I guess" I stuttered as he put a hand on my knee how dare he. In a way I felt venerable and did not have anyone to call, not many of the guys wanted much to do with me, I was such a mess I lost so many people's respect. But now, when I need them they are no place to be found.
I watched as Alex tried sliding his hand up more. "No" I yelled and stood up. A few people looked at me funny but Alex grabbed my hand and gave me stern look to make sure I knew he meant business.
"Leave me alone" I said harshly as he dragged me outside.
"I can't do that, you see your so called friends seem to be very good friends with myself and my band. Looks like we will be seeing a lot of one another for a long time. If you do not do what I say, when I say it I will make sure they all know what you did, the little whore you really are." He spat back at me.
"They will never believe you! They knew me longer then you did" He scoffed and hit me across the face. Is he kidding me! How am I smoothing this over.
"Stupid Bitch they will all know. I remember when they told Johnny to leave you, now he did and your under my control. Better get used to it again."
I walked back to the truck leaving Alex behind. I had to decide quick what to do with him. I made a stop at a local drug store to pick up some more make up to make sure I could cover up this bruise. I swear the next time I see Alex I will make him pay.
I made my way down the make up isle to find what I was looking for, that's when I spotted a familiar face, someone I have not seen since I had left my old home.
"Alyssa" I questioned the blue haired girl. She turned around and gave me a surprised look.
"Oh my god Amy is that you" She shirked and went to hug me.
"yes, yes it's me" I smiled and hugged her back. Alyssa was the photographer for my wedding. We clicked automatically since she was recommended by Johnny who's cousin told us to hire her for the wedding since she would fit our "style". And I must admit she was right back then, we became fast friends and kept in touch after Johnny had left me. She did not know what happened in four years. I did not tell her but maybe this time I will.
"Oh my what happened to your face" She questioned when she got a hold of me. I forgot about my bruise, I guess we can thank Alex for that.
"I hit it on the cabinet door this morning, you know me, clumsy". She nodded and we caught up as I bought my make up. Thank god she did not ask any questions about where I have been for the past few years, since it would take a while for me to explain that one. But nothing a bottle of scotch cannot fix and a long night.
" I need to have your number, since it's been forever, we need to have lunch" She smiled. I put my number in her phone as she did to me. We began to part ways as I headed back to my car.
"Oh Amy you must meet my Fiancee, he stayed in the car but since we are here you too should meet.
As she opened the door for me to get a better look out came none other then Alex. My Alex, my old tattoo boss, my.. my rapist.
"It's nice to meet you" I stopped to let him "Introduce himself"
"Alex, it's Alex" He said. well of course it is, you only gave me a nice red hand print across my face just an hour ago.
"It's nice meeting you, but I really have to get going" I smiled as we waved our goodbyes. I did not know what to make of the situation, or the whole night to be honest. The fact that I knew Alex was engaged but then to find out it was to my wedding photographer. My head began to spin on the drive home. God I hope it's just Jimmy tonight, I need some sleep and someone to talk to. And I cannot stand to hear them at 3 am. Better remind myself to say that.
I opened the door to the apartment to hear no moans and to find Jimmy watching tv alone in the dark. thank god
"Hey Jimbo what's up?"
"Your home late, not much sent Kelly home like right after you left, she wasn't happy you where here and well that wouldn't work. " he responded
"Good to know Jim" I said with a yawn.
There was a knock on the door "I'll get it" As I opened it there stood Brian, Matt with alcohol, Zack and Johnny who I gave a half smile too. The guys did not seem nice to see me, some gave me a glare.
"My dudes come In" Jimmy yelled from behind me as they walked passed me looking me up and down.
A few hours have passed and the party type thing was ending and some of the guys was asleep on the couch. Johnny was helping me clean up as we caught up like we always did when he came over with one of the guys. He would normally sneak off to talk to me all night and tell me what's going on. He is the one who told me about Alex being engaged. He still does not know about what happened to me and I am not sure If I want to tell him yet.
" I met Alyssa in the drug store today" I said while sweeping the floor as he was smoking a cigarette, He stopped and looked at me.
"Our old friend Alyssa, our photographer" I nodded at his comment, "did you know she got engaged" I asked.
I watched him put his head down. he knew and he didn't tell me? "I've been meaning to say that last part to you but I did not know when the best time would be. I knew she was engaged, I also know who it is, do you?" I nodded my head slowly.
He continued, "I am sorry I kept it from you, I did not know if you remembered her or if you wanted to know who it was, cause well you know. Anyways It's um, it's Alex." He looked back up and me waiting for me to panic or something, I did not know what he was waiting for. Maybe he thought I would be upset. Well I am, but I can't show it.
"I know" I answered, "I saw them in the drug store today, she introduced me to him, she has"' I stopped myself before I could even say it. Can't risk it now.
"What?" He asked. I shook my head and continued sweeping "Nothing"
I looked up from the kitchen and saw Brian looking right as us, I knew he had to hear part if not all of that conversation, if he did hear it all I am in deep shit since someone will begin to ask questions and it most likely would be Brian.
"Amy" Johnny questioned bringing me away from my thoughts. I turned back to face him.
"yeah"
"What happened to your cheek" He asked taking a step closer examining it.
"Nothing, I burnt it on the straightener this morning" I lied. what else was I going to say. He narrowed his eyes, clearly not believing me but for now it will have to slide. I cannot get caught by them all knowing something is amiss.
Johnny Kissed my cheek, "see you tomorrow" he nodded before walking to the door that Brian had previously went. There was no one left in the apartment except me and Jimmy now. There I found him standing against the kitchen wall arms folded over looking right at me.
I think I have some explaining to do..
I walked around Jimmy's apartment a bit longer then I should, I have been meaning to go out and get some type of job but I have been too worried of Alex being around, which Jimmy has been saying he has been looking for me. They do not know what he did to me. I guess it was all my fault.
I heard the front door open as Jimmy walked in with some girl in his arms, this had to be the third one this week.
"Jimmy, hi I did not know you would be home so early" well this can't go well. And damn does she look like a whore.
"Oh yeah, and this is Kelly, we met last night sorry I didn't come home" Thank god he stopped there because I dd not need to hear him again from the other room if you catch my drift. I watched as Kelly looked me up and down, clearly not liking that I was in the apartment, it was obvious Jim did not tell her about me.
There was an awkward silence between us both, something I could not shake, I did not know what to say and from the looks of it, they wanted me to leave. But where was I going? I had no car I had no other place to be.
"Hey Jim, um can I" My voice trailed as he excitedly threw me the keys to his Truck as his eyes lit up. I had no direction in mind but I knew I shouldn't be here. to be honest I did not know where I fit in, everything has been so different.
I arrived at this bar, someplace out of orange county, I don't think it had any connection with the guys or Anyone I knew. Inside the bar was dim, just like your average bar with drunks, a few pool tables and some tables. I sat down at the bar wanting my usual but instead I didn't know what to order, I looked up at the big screen tv on wall behind the bar and I saw a baseball game on, La dodgers and Yankees. I personally hated both teams but hey it was something to watch.
"Fancy seeing you hear lady" I turned around, I knew that voice. Alex.
He stood with his arms folded over his chest, smirking at me, I began to grip the bar making sure I would not leave here with him. I knew he could sense my nervousness, and by the looks of it, he seemed to back down.
"Um hi there Alex" I said pretty nervous. By now I was being able to remember a few of the times I would be "called" into the back room. Things I wanted to forget, but somehow couldn't. I learned from Jim he had a fiancee. what type of man am I dealing with here?
"Amy, fancy seeing you here, thought we could you know catch up" He smiled as he talked and took a seat next to me.
"Sure I guess" I stuttered as he put a hand on my knee how dare he. In a way I felt venerable and did not have anyone to call, not many of the guys wanted much to do with me, I was such a mess I lost so many people's respect. But now, when I need them they are no place to be found.
I watched as Alex tried sliding his hand up more. "No" I yelled and stood up. A few people looked at me funny but Alex grabbed my hand and gave me stern look to make sure I knew he meant business.
"Leave me alone" I said harshly as he dragged me outside.
"I can't do that, you see your so called friends seem to be very good friends with myself and my band. Looks like we will be seeing a lot of one another for a long time. If you do not do what I say, when I say it I will make sure they all know what you did, the little whore you really are." He spat back at me.
"They will never believe you! They knew me longer then you did" He scoffed and hit me across the face. Is he kidding me! How am I smoothing this over.
"Stupid Bitch they will all know. I remember when they told Johnny to leave you, now he did and your under my control. Better get used to it again."
I walked back to the truck leaving Alex behind. I had to decide quick what to do with him. I made a stop at a local drug store to pick up some more make up to make sure I could cover up this bruise. I swear the next time I see Alex I will make him pay.
I made my way down the make up isle to find what I was looking for, that's when I spotted a familiar face, someone I have not seen since I had left my old home.
"Alyssa" I questioned the blue haired girl. She turned around and gave me a surprised look.
"Oh my god Amy is that you" She shirked and went to hug me.
"yes, yes it's me" I smiled and hugged her back. Alyssa was the photographer for my wedding. We clicked automatically since she was recommended by Johnny who's cousin told us to hire her for the wedding since she would fit our "style". And I must admit she was right back then, we became fast friends and kept in touch after Johnny had left me. She did not know what happened in four years. I did not tell her but maybe this time I will.
"Oh my what happened to your face" She questioned when she got a hold of me. I forgot about my bruise, I guess we can thank Alex for that.
"I hit it on the cabinet door this morning, you know me, clumsy". She nodded and we caught up as I bought my make up. Thank god she did not ask any questions about where I have been for the past few years, since it would take a while for me to explain that one. But nothing a bottle of scotch cannot fix and a long night.
" I need to have your number, since it's been forever, we need to have lunch" She smiled. I put my number in her phone as she did to me. We began to part ways as I headed back to my car.
"Oh Amy you must meet my Fiancee, he stayed in the car but since we are here you too should meet.
As she opened the door for me to get a better look out came none other then Alex. My Alex, my old tattoo boss, my.. my rapist.
"It's nice to meet you" I stopped to let him "Introduce himself"
"Alex, it's Alex" He said. well of course it is, you only gave me a nice red hand print across my face just an hour ago.
"It's nice meeting you, but I really have to get going" I smiled as we waved our goodbyes. I did not know what to make of the situation, or the whole night to be honest. The fact that I knew Alex was engaged but then to find out it was to my wedding photographer. My head began to spin on the drive home. God I hope it's just Jimmy tonight, I need some sleep and someone to talk to. And I cannot stand to hear them at 3 am. Better remind myself to say that.
I opened the door to the apartment to hear no moans and to find Jimmy watching tv alone in the dark. thank god
"Hey Jimbo what's up?"
"Your home late, not much sent Kelly home like right after you left, she wasn't happy you where here and well that wouldn't work. " he responded
"Good to know Jim" I said with a yawn.
There was a knock on the door "I'll get it" As I opened it there stood Brian, Matt with alcohol, Zack and Johnny who I gave a half smile too. The guys did not seem nice to see me, some gave me a glare.
"My dudes come In" Jimmy yelled from behind me as they walked passed me looking me up and down.
A few hours have passed and the party type thing was ending and some of the guys was asleep on the couch. Johnny was helping me clean up as we caught up like we always did when he came over with one of the guys. He would normally sneak off to talk to me all night and tell me what's going on. He is the one who told me about Alex being engaged. He still does not know about what happened to me and I am not sure If I want to tell him yet.
" I met Alyssa in the drug store today" I said while sweeping the floor as he was smoking a cigarette, He stopped and looked at me.
"Our old friend Alyssa, our photographer" I nodded at his comment, "did you know she got engaged" I asked.
I watched him put his head down. he knew and he didn't tell me? "I've been meaning to say that last part to you but I did not know when the best time would be. I knew she was engaged, I also know who it is, do you?" I nodded my head slowly.
He continued, "I am sorry I kept it from you, I did not know if you remembered her or if you wanted to know who it was, cause well you know. Anyways It's um, it's Alex." He looked back up and me waiting for me to panic or something, I did not know what he was waiting for. Maybe he thought I would be upset. Well I am, but I can't show it.
"I know" I answered, "I saw them in the drug store today, she introduced me to him, she has"' I stopped myself before I could even say it. Can't risk it now.
"What?" He asked. I shook my head and continued sweeping "Nothing"
I looked up from the kitchen and saw Brian looking right as us, I knew he had to hear part if not all of that conversation, if he did hear it all I am in deep shit since someone will begin to ask questions and it most likely would be Brian.
"Amy" Johnny questioned bringing me away from my thoughts. I turned back to face him.
"yeah"
"What happened to your cheek" He asked taking a step closer examining it.
"Nothing, I burnt it on the straightener this morning" I lied. what else was I going to say. He narrowed his eyes, clearly not believing me but for now it will have to slide. I cannot get caught by them all knowing something is amiss.
Johnny Kissed my cheek, "see you tomorrow" he nodded before walking to the door that Brian had previously went. There was no one left in the apartment except me and Jimmy now. There I found him standing against the kitchen wall arms folded over looking right at me.
I think I have some explaining to do..