For Your Eyes Only

"This is for a good cause. I'm saving the world. This is for a good cause. I'm saving the world." I'd been mumbling that to myself for the last fifteen minutes. Uni finally started back up, and why I'd decided to become a surgeon was beyond me. I'd gotten lazy over holiday and completely forgotten how grueling the coursework was. I was paying for that mistake now.

"Why are we saving the world?" I jumped and screamed, launching my textbook at the intruder, only to see that it was Harry. School always made me jumpy because when I focused on something, the rest of the world didn't matter.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Harry. Just stressed. Wait, how'd you even get in? Please don't tell me you've been calling me. I don't even know where my phone is." I groaned, moving to pick up the textbook that was laying at his feet. I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was well past 9 pm. I hadn't eaten since I'd gotten home. Cellular and molecular biology was literally taking up my life, not to mention the other courses I was taking along with it. We'd been back in school for two weeks, and my social life had died. My sleeping schedule had died. Everything that didn't involve coursework died. I'd barely been by the center, and I knew the girls would be pissed when I finally went back.

"Uh, no. I was with Nick. He said he hadn't seen you so I just stopped by to check in. Your door was open." It wasn't surprising that I'd forgotten to lock it. I collapsed onto the couch, putting my arm over my eyes.

"Sorry. I'm literally drowning in school work."

"I can see that by the amount of papers that are scattered around. You really should organize this stuff." He was right. All of my notes were on the floor, the different colored highlighters giving me a headache. My living room looked like an absolute catastrophe.

"It's late. I have class in the morning." I pushed myself back onto the floor, trying to stack my notes as neatly as I could. There was no sense in organizing them. I'd be right back where I started tomorrow. I tugged the ponytail holder from my hair, running my fingers through the strands.

"Have you eaten?" My stomach growled on cue, and I cursed the day I ever decided to become a doctor, "I'll take that as a no. How about I order pizza, and we watch a movie. You can relax for a little bit, and you can tell me about.....molecules." I laughed at how confused he sounded even saying the word. It was so basic yet so complex.

"As wonderful as that sounds, I really should be getting some sleep."

"Well answer me this, are you even tired enough to fall asleep?" I wasn't. I would probably be spending the next two hours staring at the ceiling, contemplating switching my major for the seventh time even though I knew I wouldn't.

"Pizza it is. Just let me go take a shower." I'd never been so thankful for the hot spray, except for maybe after a long night of drinking. It was relaxing, and for a second I thought I was going to fall asleep, but I managed to dry myself off and braid my hair, pulling on an oversized shirt.

"I probably should have asked what you wanted before you left. I got one with everything, but only meat on half."

"That's actually perfect, considering I'm a vegetarian. Thank you." I smiled and dropped myself into the couch next to him, reaching for the box. My body instantly felt better once I had food in my system. I didn't even realize how exhausted I was.

"So what exactly did you throw at me earlier?" I glanced toward the offending textbook, staring at the material in disgust.

"Hell on pages." I never noticed how much I liked his laugh. It was loud, but not very obnoxious. I loved the way his eyes crinkled around the corners, and his dimples sunk into his cheeks. He looked....happy, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt genuine happiness. My mood was snarky, sarcastic, and a bit bitchy. It was just the way I got through life. Few people got to see the exceptions, and they weren't always pretty.

"You're staring." Green eyes met hazel, and for once, I didn't feel uneasy around a stranger. I was calm when I was usually anxious, and that was slightly frightening. Despite the time we'd spent together, I still didn't know Harry very well. After our stint at the center, I hadn't spoken to him much, mostly due to the fact that he'd been out of the country. But even when I knew he was back, I kept to myself. Something happened the day we sang to the girls. I wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't normal. There was tension. I knew how to get rid of it. Sex was always the answer when it came to things like that, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep with him or even acknowledge the idea. Harry was a wonderful person with a heart of gold. I couldn't destroy him. I refused to. "No seriously, Aislinn. What are you thinking about?" My name sounded so beautiful rolling off of his lips. It was rarely ever used, most people settling for calling me Ash, but if I had a choice, I'd listen to him say my name all day.

"You're beautiful." I'd regretted those two words the second they left my lips, but I couldn't take them back. I was sure that I looked like deer caught in the headlights, and he seemed just as surprised by my confession as I was. I gnawed on my bottom lip, trying to determine whether it was time for me to escape to my room or if he was going to run out.

"You're the first person that's said that and actually meant it." His words surprised me more than my own. Surely I couldn't have been the only person to tell him that he was beautiful and mean it.

"That's not possible."

"But it is. You see, I've heard a lot of things about myself. I've gotten handsome, adorable, godly." I had no choice but to roll my eyes at the slightly cocky tone of his voice. I knew he wasn't actually arrogant, but the moment called for it. "I've been told that I was beautiful by fans on more than one occasion, but they don't really see it, you know? They're talking about a physical appearance. I'm a very good judge of character, and you definitely meant that as something deeper than my perfect jawline and dashing smile." He grinned, and I pushed his shoulder. Way to ruin a serious moment, but he was right. I did see past the exterior, but I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Once a person surpasses a superficial barrier with me, things got scary, and I tended to run away. It was one of the things I did best.

"Can I ask you a question?" I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, somewhat nervous for his answer.

"Sure."

"Why did you help me the night we met? I mean, I was a total stranger, and for all you knew, I could have been a psycho serial killer that was trying to get into the building." I was always curious about why he'd basically carried me back to my flat and why he stuck around afterward. I wasn't exactly the greatest friend ever created. I came with a lot of baggage, and I liked to shut people out. Had I not grown up with Colette, we probably wouldn't be as close as we were. I wasn't fond of getting close to people, especially when it wasn't necessary.

"For the record, I do think you're a psycho." I smacked him with one of the couch pillows even though he was right. I'd come to terms with my mental health. It was no longer an insult. "When I parked, I was just going to text Nick to come down, but then I saw you, and you looked like you were getting ready to fall over. I didn't want to watch you get a concussion. I figured if I talked to you, I could at least get you to stay upright until someone came outside. And then you started spewing that nonsense about Eve being responsible for the world being a shitty place, and I actually found you amusing. In my 22 years of being alive, no one's ever started a conversation with me like that. It was refreshing, and I knew it was authentic because you were pissed. You didn't spend hours planning what you were going to say. You literally just said whatever popped to the front of your mind. You are a pleasant change from the rest of the simplistic people that live in the world we inhabit." I never took our first conversation for being something that deep. I was proper pissed and slightly angry. It didn't seem like a big deal to me, but to him, it meant so much more.

"Wow. I don't think I ever looked at it like that. I've always heard I was a heinous bitch. Good to know at least one person sees me as a decent human being," I smirked, pulling my knees up to my chest and leaning into the corner of the couch. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to find a friendship in Harry. It was obvious he had no real intentions of leaving me alone, and I knew that it was time for me to stop being so bitter toward everyone. I just couldn't bring myself to trust fully. The world was a cruel place. I'd learned the hard way that even the people closest to you could screw you over, so I avoided attachment.

"You visit a center for girls with mental health issues. I saw the bond that you have with them. I can't be the only person that thinks you're a decent human being." I never let anyone close enough to find out, but maybe I could let Harry in. I was getting sick of looking at Nick's face every other weekend. I didn't have to tell him a bunch of personal information. He was just a nice person to be around.

"Well, you're just about the only person that's gotten to see the decent side of me, so yeah, you're the only person." I set my empty plate on top of the pizza box and leaned my head against the back of the couch, my eyes focusing on his face.

"Why do you do that?" He was studying me like I was studying him earlier, and I didn't like it. He wasn't looking at me. He was looking through me. I squirmed uncomfortably, trying to find an appropriate answer to his question.

"Do what?"

"Shut down. It's like the second someone gets personal with you, you shut your emotions off." His eyes stared deeply into mine, pulling the answer out of me without a lot of hesitation on my part.

"I've always done it. I don't get close to a lot of people. It's easier that way." I shrugged my shoulders, looking away from his piercing gaze. He was trying to figure me out, and I didn't want him to. I was perfectly fine with the way my life was, and I didn't want to change it.

"You don't have to do that with me, Aislinn. I understand your mistrust of people, but I'm not here to hurt you." He really didn't understand. No one ever would because I refused to talk about it, but I decided to let him think he knew what was bouncing around in my head.

"You know once I let you in, you're not allowed to leave." I hugged my legs close to my chest, trying to decide if I really wanted to add someone else to my small circle of friends, especially someone that I knew was going to have a big impact on my life. I just wished I knew how big it was going to be before I made my decision.

"I don't want to." His hand found mine and squeezed gently. I stared down at his fingers, feeling like this was a bad idea, but it was too late.