Family Goals

**October 1st, 2015 Kris’ POV**

I drove like my life depended on it to get to the airport. In truth it wasn’t my life that did, but my wife and our child’s. Aunt Jayne was coming in on the 1:50 plane from Toronto. I pulled into the lot and tried not to run into the building. I knew she would wait for me, but I felt like if I didn’t rush I might lose Kallie and the baby.

I was able to get around the few fans and found myself waiting to find Aunt Jayne. “Kristopher!” I heard and spun in place. There she was! The relief I felt was one of the oddest of my life. I went over and hugged her tightly. “Is she doing ok?”

I nodded. “She was when I left with Alex this morning.” I checked my watch. “Speaking of, we need to get home. We’re expecting a package that might help.” I had watched Kallie email Aunt Jayne about the Pink Stork products she had ordered and quickly get one back saying that they shouldn’t hurt.

Jayne frowned at me and I caved. “She was on the couch when I left this morning. If she’s gotten off it to do more than visit the bathroom I’d be surprised.” She nodded slowly as if she understood.

We swung by Alex’s daycare and picked him up. He liked going to preschool and it had helped a lot with the issues we had earlier in the year. I drove the short distance home while Alex told Jayne all about what he had done today. “An I made a card for mama.” He dug something out of his backpack and handed it to Jayne.

Jayne smiled. “Oh Alex, I’m sure your mama will love it.” I was at a stoplight and able to glance at the paper in her hand. It was a picture of what I assumed was Alex and Kallie in our bed cuddled up watching TV. She handed it back to him and we were soon home.

Coming in the door Alex was out of his seat and hanging his things up as fast as I would let him. I got Jayne’s bag out of the back and found her answering the front door when I got into the house proper. “Thank you so much for understanding.”

“No problem ma’am, I hope she feels better.” Someone said as the door closed.

Jayne turned and easily moved to the couch. “Alexander please carefully bring me a pair of scissors.” Alex preened as he carefully moved to the drawer and walked with the scissors to the couch. “Bon, very good. Now come, help mama and I open this.”

Inside the box was the items we had been waiting for. Kallie read through the directions and opened the Mist, took off her socks and told Alex to give each of her feet 2 big sprays. He did so happily and then ran to get his card for her.

**Kallie’s POV**

I was touched by Alex’s card. It was he and I watching the Pens game in our room. I couldn’t do much more than give him a short kiss and tell him how much I loved that he thought of me. He grinned and went to his room to play. “That was really sweet of him.”

Kris smiled grimly and Auntie Jayne nodded. “Dearest, you don’t look well. Give me your hand for a second.” I lifted it to her and Jayne pinched the back of my hand and let go. “Give me your doctor’s number, I want to talk to her.” I waved my hand towards my phone and walked her through unlocking it. “Yes, hello my niece is a patient there and I need to speak with her OB about a condition she has.”

In seconds she handed me the phone. “Hello?” “This is Maria, who is this person and will you allow Dr. T to speak with her?”

I smiled weakly. “Hi Maria, this is Kallie Letang. It’s perfectly fine that my aunt speaks with Dr. T. She’s gone through what I’m going through. Hyperemesis Gravidarum. She knows the family history better than I do.” Maria sighed in relief.

“Then you’re lucky, Dr. T is without a patient right now.” She covered her mic for a minute and I heard the garbled explanation to the doc. “She’ll be right with you.”

In no time Dr. T was on the line and I had placed the call on speaker so we could all hear it. Aunt Jayne wasn’t sure if that was a good idea due to Alex but I’d rather he hear what’s going on and be able to ask questions. “Kallie, I just saw you yesterday and your aunt is calling me today? What’s going on?”

Aunt Jayne took the conversation. “Hello doctor, I’m Kallie’s Aunt Jayne and I just got here. Did you check her elasticity yesterday?” When she got a negative she sighed. “I was afraid of that. I just checked and it didn’t seem to bounce back like even mine does.” She showed us by doing the test on herself and then me, the difference was shocking.

Dr. T sighed. “I need to check on a couple patients in the maternity ward before check out. Bring her there and ask for me.” I dreaded moving but I knew better than to argue with them both, they were trying to keep me healthy.

Kris sighed. “What about Alex?” Of course say his name and he appears, at the top of the stairs. “Will he be allowed to see what’s going on? He is as worried as we are but we don’t know how much to tell him.” Hearing his name he came down the stairs right into the middle of our discussion.

“He needs to know why we’re going yes. I found a couple books for kids on HG that can be read to him that will teach him a little about what’s going on.” Bless you Auntie Jayne for thinking like that.

Dr. T sighed again. “I’m sure as long as he understands that you’re coming because you want a healthy brother or sister for him, he should be ok. I’ll warn the nurses just in case though. They normally don’t allow small kids in the maternity ward without direct supervision.”

Alex cocked his head. “ ‘Mones making mama sick again?” I smiled and closed my eyes, nodding just a little. He let out a big sigh. “Mama tell them to be nice! No make you sick anymore!”

Kris and Jayne started to talk over one another and I held up a hand. “Hold on.” The stopped. “Alex, honey if I could make them stop I would. Please go get your hockey pack so we can go have the doctor help me feel better.” He frowned at me and nearly stomped off to get his hockey pack. “We’ll see you within a half hour.” I said and Dr. T agreed.

In 25 minutes I was being wheeled into the maternity ward, Alex hot to trot next to me. I saw Dr. T down the hall and lifted my hand to wave. She came right over and directed the orderly to put me in the room she had been in front of. I changed into a gown and laid on the bed. Alex claimed the chair in the corner and began looking at the books Auntie Jayne had given him in the car.

“I’m glad your aunt knows how to help. I should have done that test yesterday. I’ve consulted another doctor who knows more about HG than I do and she’s given me a better understanding of just what we’re possibly in for. She’d like to be a secondary provider for you.” That’s when another woman came in the room.

“Dr. Waltner-Towes?” Everyone turned. “I’m Dr. Susan Floyd, we spoke on the phone.” It’s kind of frightening when you see your Ob sigh in relief which mine did.

“Dr. Floyd, I’m so happy you could come in. This is whom I was speaking of Kallie Letang. Kallie this is Dr. Floyd, the only expert on HG that I can find that’s close.” An odd introduction but I understood quickly enough.

Dr. Floyd came closer and noticed Alex. “Well at least you’re not hiding this from your son. How is he handling things?” It was nice to have someone ask that.

I smiled. “He’s been a huge help when I really need him to be. He’s going to be the best big brother.” She nodded and sat on the bed next to me. “These are my husband, Kris and my Aunt Jayne who’s been through this herself.”

Kris nodded gravely and Aunt Jayne shook Dr. Floyd’s hand. “Nice to meet you both. Dr. Waltner-Towes has said she thinks you’re about 8 weeks along and of course the HG has made you miserable. By just looking at you, you need some undisturbed rest and IV fluid. So you know up front I have officially retired from my own practice but consult on HG cases as they need me. I firmly believe in proactive care for this. Don’t hesitate to speak up if you think you aren’t getting the care you need.”

I heard Jayne exhale in relief. I felt Kris lean against the bed heavily. “So, while Naomi is getting you ready for your IV I’m going to talk with your son.” Alex looked over at her with skepticism. “I’m Susan, what’s your name?”

“Alex. You help mama’s ‘mones be nice?” She looked at me a bit confused.

“Yes, Alex she is going to help my hormones be nice and stop making me so sick.” I explained and watched as her eyes danced with mischief and light.

Dr. Floyd leaned over and pulled out a couple books from her bag. “Yes Alex, I do want your mama’s hormones to stop making her so sick. I’m sure it makes her sad to not be able to do everything she has until now with you and everyone else too.” Alex put down the big brother book he was looking at and smiled sadly.

“Mama sick so I be her big helper. Get smoothie and com-poo-ter and anything she need.” He was very proud of how he had been helping and rightly so. I’m not sure I would have made it without him being so good.

Naomi came in and smiled at the scene near the window. “I see she’s at it again, helping someone understand.” Jayne chuckled. I heard but was torn between both conversations.

“Kallie has done a good job of explaining what’s going on so he can understand a little. I would have never have thought of blaming my hormones.” I felt a needle stick in my arm and held very still while it threaded into a good vein.

Susan and Alex read over the books she had brought out of her bag. One was ‘How to be an HG Hero’ and the other was ‘Mama has Hyperemesis Gravidarum (but only for a while)’. She then let him have those books. “You can have those, so you can remind yourself that mama loves you a lot and it’s ok to be scared.”

By now my IV was hooked up and I was wondering what was going to happen now. Dr. T beat me to it though. “Now what?”

Susan, cause she insisted on being called that, smiled. “Now she gets fluid while we talk to her Aunt about her pregnancies and about Kalista’s mother as well. After that decide how aggressively we’re willing to treat this and have a healthy baby and mama be the outcome.” So chairs were gathered and we sat and discussed how bad my aunt’s pregnancies had been and her fears that I would end up like my mother, not surviving.

That of course brought up my dad and if I had told him about what was going on. I hung my head and quietly said no. Jayne leaned over and kissed my temple. “I don’t blame you, it will frighten him, but he also needs to know. He needs to know you’re in good hands, ones that will help fight for you.” She dug out my phone and handed it to me. “Call him now, while we’re all here.”

Shaking I tried to dial, but Kris put his hands over mine. “Let me.” He dialed and put it on speaker. When dad picked up Kris started. “Bonjour! Nous avons besoin d'avoir une conversation avec vous et il sera difficile pour nous tous. Pouvons-nous passer à l'anglais? (Hello! We need to have a conversation with you and it will be difficult for us all. Can we switch to English?)”

“Of course! What is so dire that you are calling during the day?” I just knew I was about to hurt the first love of my life, my daddy.

I tried speaking but tears came instead, well it felt like I would cry at least. Jayne took the reins. “Marc, Kalista has Hyperemesis Gravidarum.” She’d dropped the bomb without preamble.

I could see in my mind’s eye as it hit him, how his jaw dropped and he paled. “Are we sure? What can we do?” Panic had started to set in.

Dr. T stepped in. “Sir, I’m Dr. Rebecca Waltner-Towes at Magee Women’s Hospital and your daughter’s Ob/Gyn. I’m positive she has HG. We’re at the hospital right now giving her some IV fluids.”

My dad dropped his phone. I heard him scrambling for it and I was finally able to get words out. “Je serai papa ok. Tante Jayne est là pour nous aider à traverser cette. (I'll be ok papa. Aunt Jayne is there to help us through this.)”

That seemed to break him. “How can you? Your mother could not survive a second round of it, she tried!”

Dr. T sighed. “Sir, she has a knowledgeable team around her. We’re well versed in treating HG. So far she doesn’t have a severe case and hopefully she won’t. She hasn’t lost a lot of weight yet and while she’s dehydrated even now she brought in a bottle of water I’m guessing from home with her.”

Susan put her hand on Dr. T’s shoulder. “Stop, you’re scaring him. Sir, I’m Dr. Susan Floyd I will do everything in my power to keep Kallie healthy and give her a healthy baby too, but to do that I need to know how bad her mother’s HG was. I know it’s painful to remember but if we know how bad it was, we will be better armed to treat Kallie so hers won’t ever get that bad.”

I felt queasy, more than just what had become the usual way. I motioned for the basin Naomi had brought in and soon was using it. Once I felt less nauseous, it never really goes away, dad sighed. “So throwing up has started already. Are they hippie doctors that don’t believe in giving pregnant women drugs? If they are find another doctor, that’s what hurt your mother the most.”

Susan chuckled. “I’m no hippie doctor, I believe that in giving both traditional treatment with drugs and alternative ones if they help. She’s wearing motion sickness bands and I’m guessing they kind of help.”

I nodded and rinsed out my mouth. “Sorry, yeah they lessen the nausea when I’m moving, they don’t stop it. I’m not opposed to drugs to help with this, I want to have as normal a pregnancy as I can.”

Kris had held my hair back and was now comforting Alex, who hated seeing or hearing me get sick. Dad sighed. “Her mother had a very hard time with Kallie. Was in the hospital several times for IV fluids and even once for a feeding tube. She hated it at the time, right up until she held Kalista. Then everything she had done was worth it.” I could hear him fighting to hold back his own fears. “When we got pregnant the second time, it was not planned but not unwelcome. Kallie was just over a year old and we thought the kids would be more friendly if they were close. Unfortunately, this time my late wife had been passed to a doctor that dismissed everything she had said about her first pregnancy and refused to give her anything to help. By the time she was admitted to the hospital with that one she was having system failure.” He choked back a small sob. “Only then did her original doctor get reinvolved, as that damned hippie was on some sort of love in thing. He and I fought to save them both, but we ended up losing them.”

I’d never heard how my mother had died before and choked back my own sob. Jayne was right there with me, rubbing my back and holding me. Susan clucked her tongue and sighed. “I can assure you we won’t lose Kalista. Research has come a long way and with the good doctors here, not to mention the incredible nursing staff, she and the baby will be in incredible hands.”

I heard the door open across the phone and then my loving step-mother talking to dad. “Marc, qui êtes-vous sur le téléphone et pourquoi pleures-tu? (Mark, who are you on the phone with and why are you crying?)”

“Kalista a HG comme sa mère, elle est à l'hôpital obtenir liquides IV en ce moment. (Kalista has HG like her mother, she is in the hospital getting IV fluids at the moment.)” Dad had obviously told mom what HG was as she gasped in shock.

“What can we do? How do we help her?” That warmed my heart.

“Pray. We all pray. Jayne is there and so are Kris and Alex. They are all on the phone with her doctors right now.” He was clearly upset about this turn of events, not that I blamed him.

She got on the line. “How bad is Kallie? Don’t couch it, I’m a nurse.”

Susan grinned and mouthed ‘I like her’. “Dehydration is an issue as is moderately high vomitting. Can keep some liquids down for a period of time if they are thick like shakes or smoothies. Prognosis is good overall. I’m going to ask her treating Ob to have a scan of her while she’s here so we can rule out problems with the baby at this stage.”

“Treating Ob?” Dad explained quickly and Julie understood even faster. “Ah, good. At least there is someone who knows how bad HG can be. We have a copy of Patricia’s hospital and death record, I can send it to you so you can see first hand what happened.” I had no clue that there a copy of that at the house. “We kept it in case Kallie had HG, so we would have documentation of her mother’s condition.”

Dr. T sighed. “That would be very helpful. Right now she’s getting some fluids and I’d like her to stay at least overnight so we can try giving her some other meds and see what helps. If we find the right cocktail tonight then I’ll gladly send her home with home health and careful observation.” That wasn’t a huge shock to me, we had discussed me maybe staying at least overnight on our way here.

Kris moved Alex over so he could cuddle with me. “Mama stay, get better?” He asked.

“I think so ma loutre. Aunt Jayne and papa will be with you at home though.” That settled him down. I might not be home but people he knew would be.

Julie said she would send the charts down fast in the morning and my dad tried to not have a breakdown over all of this again. I texted my brothers and let them know what I had and that I needed good thoughts. Dom and Benj both sent back snarky texts but I knew they were sent with love. Frankie called. “This is what your mom had right?”

“Yeah Frankie it is, but I’ve got a good team around me. We’re positive everything will go well.” He sighed in relief.

Once it was just us again Kris looked at me seriously. “I am not naming our child after someone on another team.” It took me a minute before I figured out what he was saying, I started laughing.

Alex also started giggling. “No, Kris. I don’t want to name our child Pat, Patty or anything like that. I want them to have their own identity, although I wouldn’t mind honoring a lost friend.”

Kris put a hand on his chest. “You would, would let me… Not a first name. I couldn’t do that, call anyone else Luc. Maybe a middle name though.” I leaned up and pulled him to sit on the bed.

“Kris, it’s early to be thinking about names but if we do need a boy’s name I like Luc as a middle name.” He leaned over and kissed me. Soon they were on their way home and I was alone. It made me think about what was important and how names would make this more real for us. I picked up the notepad on the bedside table and began looking up names...