Eight Awkward Nights
Thanks, Mum
My grandparents, uncles, and cousins begin arriving at the house around noon. My grandmother and oldest cousin, Bernadette, are in the kitchen helping Mum with dinner. Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Jerry, Uncle Tim, and my younger cousins—four boys between the ages of seven and ten—are out in the backyard playing touch football. I’m left with my cousin, Rebecca, in my bedroom anxiously waiting for Jack to arrive.
We pass the time catching up about school and such. We are both fifteen, but Rebecca lives two hours away so we only see each other at the high holidays. She happily listens to me gush about Jack for far too long. My mood changes a bit as the clock gets closer and closer to four. I begin pacing.
“Why are you so nervous?” Rebecca asks after my tenth lap around my room.
“I just don’t want him to be uncomfortable. This is all gonna be really new for him and I really, really like him. I don’t want him to be overwhelmed.” I plop down beside her on my bed again.
“I’m sure he will be fine.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders, but seconds later the doorbell rings. I look out the window to see Jack’s dad driving off. I take a deep breath and run down the stairs to answer the door, Rebecca close behind me.
Mum has already beaten me to the door, dish rag in hand. She greets Jack excitedly and lets him step in. She hugs him cautiously, holding her wet hands out and pressing a friendly peck on his cheek. She turns to me and nods over her shoulder, giggles, and scurries away. Despite my nerves, I can’t help smiling at Jack. He’s wearing a light blue sweater and fitted khakis. His hair is perfectly combed and gelled, not a single chocolate brown hair out of place. In his hands he is holding a small bouquet of white flowers and a little box wrapped in blue paper with a silver bow. I can’t even fathom how perfect he is. I step towards him and squeeze him, the fresh scent of his soap filling my nose. I glance behind me and then give him a quick kiss when I see no one else around aside from Rebecca. Jack holds out the flowers and says they’re for Mum and then tells me the gift is for me. I take them graciously and introduce him to Rebecca. She looks thrilled, shaking Jack’s hand and making a bold comment about how hot he is.
Rolling my eyes, I lead Jack into the house, pointing out and naming all the family members zipping around. The boys have come in and have started to wash up. I find a vase under the kitchen sink and fill it with water, setting the flowers inside and laying them on the coffee table in the living room beside a stack of festively wrapped presents. Jack is grinning, but I can see in his eyes that he is a little overwhelmed. On his way back from the bathroom, Dad stops in front of Jack and gives him a pat on the shoulder, “good to see ya, Jack! Come grab a drink and a seat”.
I get Jack and I glasses of water and we sit down beside Rebecca at the dining table, which has been expanded to its fullest capacity to accommodate fourteen people. Once everyone is seated, Grandpa rises and lights the menorah, singing the prayers. When he finishes, he happily shouts, “let’s eat!”
Platters of food begin to circulate around the table like a well-trained assembly line. Grandma begins handing off potato latkes, one uncle serves the little ones brisket, while the other begins to cut the thick slices into suitable pieces. Jack does his best to keep up. Everyone eats patiently, chattering idly.
“So this is your boyfriend, I assume, Alex?” Grandma asks, gesturing to Jack.
“Oh, yeah, this is Jack!”
Jack’s eyes get wide. I hadn’t realized that he isn’t out to his extended family and probably assumed I was in the same boat. I pat his leg under the table.
“Oh, he looks like he’s seen a ghost!” Grandma laughs. “What do you think those two are?” She directs her gaze to my uncles at the other end of the table. Uncle Tim beams, giving Jack a playful wave.
“Oh…” Jack replies, taking everything in. “Wait, are these all your kids?” He looks around the table.
“Yes and no,” Uncle Tim replies. “I’m Maxine’s brother,” he begins, referring to Mum by name. “We had another sister who sadly passed away a few years ago. She had Rebecca, Bernadette over there, and Joel here. At the time, Jerry and I only had Tyson over here. He is Jerry’s from a previous marriage, but we really wanted more, so when my sister got sick we became the guardians of her kids. Then we really couldn’t stop ourselves and we adopted Yi and Mikey over the last couple of years. We really wanted a big family, so we are thrilled, honestly”.
My uncle’s broad grin brings a smooth breath of silence across the diner table.
“That’s awesome,” Jack says quietly, his voice softening.
We continue dinner until it devolves into a dreidel death match. Armed with my shiny new dreidel, I am staring down Uncle Jerry, a hand protecting my stack of coins. I risk a glance at Jack who looks both amused and terrified. The game goes on for at least half an hour before I finally collect the end of the coins, launching out of my seat in victorious celebration. Everyone cheers. Uncle Tim offers his husband a pat on the back. We shake hands and move everyone into the living room to exchange gifts. I sit on the floor between Rebecca and Jack. Grandpa begins distributing the gifts on the table.
Jack’s face lights up when he is presented with two gifts—one from me, one from my parents.
I wait anxiously for him to open them. He looks at me and asks if there is some sort of ritual. I tell him there isn’t as Yi, Mikey, and Joel begin tearing into their gifts from their dads. I insist that Jack open his from me first. It’s a large sweater box wrapped in sparkly blue paper. Jack unwraps it carefully and pulls the lid off the box.
“Aww!” He exclaims, a broad grin spreading across his face. He pulls a navy blue quarter-zip sweatshirt out of the box. It has his name embroidered in white on the left breast. Underneath is a matching pair of fitted sweatpants with DANCE printed down one leg. Jack has been dancing since he was three and I know his favourite sweats have seen better days. The elastic in the waist band has completely escaped from the seams and the sweatshirt has reached a level of stink that even multiple runs through the washer can’t tame.
“Thank you so much, Alex,” Jack leans over and kisses me, happily. “Now open mine!”
I reach for the small box Jack had arrived with and pull the paper off. I take the lid off a small white box and remove some spongey filling. In the bottom of the box sits a blue leather bracelet. The sides are laced with orange leather. The fastener is a thick loop of thread and a bead shaped like a baseball on either end. The centre of the bracelet is embroidered with the New York Mets logo, my favourite baseball team. I gasp and immediately put it on. “This is so perfect!” I giggle and shake the bracelet around on my wrist. I grab Jack’s cheeks and plant a kiss on his lips. My mother swats at the back of my head, causing me to duck away. She points to the identical, relatively small boxes sitting in front of Jack and I.
“Take those in the other room to open them,” she says casually as if that’s a completely normal request. Jack and I rise slowly and wander into the front room. We look at each other with matching expressions of confusion, pulling the wrapping paper and discovering there were two thinner boxes pressed together—one condoms, one lube. Jack bursts into laughter. All I can do is scream:
“MOTHER”
We pass the time catching up about school and such. We are both fifteen, but Rebecca lives two hours away so we only see each other at the high holidays. She happily listens to me gush about Jack for far too long. My mood changes a bit as the clock gets closer and closer to four. I begin pacing.
“Why are you so nervous?” Rebecca asks after my tenth lap around my room.
“I just don’t want him to be uncomfortable. This is all gonna be really new for him and I really, really like him. I don’t want him to be overwhelmed.” I plop down beside her on my bed again.
“I’m sure he will be fine.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders, but seconds later the doorbell rings. I look out the window to see Jack’s dad driving off. I take a deep breath and run down the stairs to answer the door, Rebecca close behind me.
Mum has already beaten me to the door, dish rag in hand. She greets Jack excitedly and lets him step in. She hugs him cautiously, holding her wet hands out and pressing a friendly peck on his cheek. She turns to me and nods over her shoulder, giggles, and scurries away. Despite my nerves, I can’t help smiling at Jack. He’s wearing a light blue sweater and fitted khakis. His hair is perfectly combed and gelled, not a single chocolate brown hair out of place. In his hands he is holding a small bouquet of white flowers and a little box wrapped in blue paper with a silver bow. I can’t even fathom how perfect he is. I step towards him and squeeze him, the fresh scent of his soap filling my nose. I glance behind me and then give him a quick kiss when I see no one else around aside from Rebecca. Jack holds out the flowers and says they’re for Mum and then tells me the gift is for me. I take them graciously and introduce him to Rebecca. She looks thrilled, shaking Jack’s hand and making a bold comment about how hot he is.
Rolling my eyes, I lead Jack into the house, pointing out and naming all the family members zipping around. The boys have come in and have started to wash up. I find a vase under the kitchen sink and fill it with water, setting the flowers inside and laying them on the coffee table in the living room beside a stack of festively wrapped presents. Jack is grinning, but I can see in his eyes that he is a little overwhelmed. On his way back from the bathroom, Dad stops in front of Jack and gives him a pat on the shoulder, “good to see ya, Jack! Come grab a drink and a seat”.
I get Jack and I glasses of water and we sit down beside Rebecca at the dining table, which has been expanded to its fullest capacity to accommodate fourteen people. Once everyone is seated, Grandpa rises and lights the menorah, singing the prayers. When he finishes, he happily shouts, “let’s eat!”
Platters of food begin to circulate around the table like a well-trained assembly line. Grandma begins handing off potato latkes, one uncle serves the little ones brisket, while the other begins to cut the thick slices into suitable pieces. Jack does his best to keep up. Everyone eats patiently, chattering idly.
“So this is your boyfriend, I assume, Alex?” Grandma asks, gesturing to Jack.
“Oh, yeah, this is Jack!”
Jack’s eyes get wide. I hadn’t realized that he isn’t out to his extended family and probably assumed I was in the same boat. I pat his leg under the table.
“Oh, he looks like he’s seen a ghost!” Grandma laughs. “What do you think those two are?” She directs her gaze to my uncles at the other end of the table. Uncle Tim beams, giving Jack a playful wave.
“Oh…” Jack replies, taking everything in. “Wait, are these all your kids?” He looks around the table.
“Yes and no,” Uncle Tim replies. “I’m Maxine’s brother,” he begins, referring to Mum by name. “We had another sister who sadly passed away a few years ago. She had Rebecca, Bernadette over there, and Joel here. At the time, Jerry and I only had Tyson over here. He is Jerry’s from a previous marriage, but we really wanted more, so when my sister got sick we became the guardians of her kids. Then we really couldn’t stop ourselves and we adopted Yi and Mikey over the last couple of years. We really wanted a big family, so we are thrilled, honestly”.
My uncle’s broad grin brings a smooth breath of silence across the diner table.
“That’s awesome,” Jack says quietly, his voice softening.
We continue dinner until it devolves into a dreidel death match. Armed with my shiny new dreidel, I am staring down Uncle Jerry, a hand protecting my stack of coins. I risk a glance at Jack who looks both amused and terrified. The game goes on for at least half an hour before I finally collect the end of the coins, launching out of my seat in victorious celebration. Everyone cheers. Uncle Tim offers his husband a pat on the back. We shake hands and move everyone into the living room to exchange gifts. I sit on the floor between Rebecca and Jack. Grandpa begins distributing the gifts on the table.
Jack’s face lights up when he is presented with two gifts—one from me, one from my parents.
I wait anxiously for him to open them. He looks at me and asks if there is some sort of ritual. I tell him there isn’t as Yi, Mikey, and Joel begin tearing into their gifts from their dads. I insist that Jack open his from me first. It’s a large sweater box wrapped in sparkly blue paper. Jack unwraps it carefully and pulls the lid off the box.
“Aww!” He exclaims, a broad grin spreading across his face. He pulls a navy blue quarter-zip sweatshirt out of the box. It has his name embroidered in white on the left breast. Underneath is a matching pair of fitted sweatpants with DANCE printed down one leg. Jack has been dancing since he was three and I know his favourite sweats have seen better days. The elastic in the waist band has completely escaped from the seams and the sweatshirt has reached a level of stink that even multiple runs through the washer can’t tame.
“Thank you so much, Alex,” Jack leans over and kisses me, happily. “Now open mine!”
I reach for the small box Jack had arrived with and pull the paper off. I take the lid off a small white box and remove some spongey filling. In the bottom of the box sits a blue leather bracelet. The sides are laced with orange leather. The fastener is a thick loop of thread and a bead shaped like a baseball on either end. The centre of the bracelet is embroidered with the New York Mets logo, my favourite baseball team. I gasp and immediately put it on. “This is so perfect!” I giggle and shake the bracelet around on my wrist. I grab Jack’s cheeks and plant a kiss on his lips. My mother swats at the back of my head, causing me to duck away. She points to the identical, relatively small boxes sitting in front of Jack and I.
“Take those in the other room to open them,” she says casually as if that’s a completely normal request. Jack and I rise slowly and wander into the front room. We look at each other with matching expressions of confusion, pulling the wrapping paper and discovering there were two thinner boxes pressed together—one condoms, one lube. Jack bursts into laughter. All I can do is scream:
“MOTHER”