We Will Go

"You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," is my only response.

Zayed claps me on the shoulder. Nerves are normal, especially on your wedding day. I'm not all that concerned over this feeling I'm having of wanting to wait a little longer, but life is short, right? And I love Lily so of course I'll marry her whenever she wants to.

The music starts and I exhale. I can see Zayed out of the corner of my eye bouncing on his heels. Everyone is looking towards the back as Lily's sister walks down the aisle. She looks at me pointedly but I don't have a response so I focus behind her, to where my bride is supposed to be. And then the wedding march begins.

She looks beautiful in a white outfit my mum picked out when she went to India a couple months ago. I don't remember what its called (it's either sari or lahenga) but this shouldn't be my concern right now. I can see her looking at me from underneath the scarf that's pinned to her hair and she gives me a smile. I give one back.

Her father is walking her down in a suit. My parents almost threw a fit when he insisted on not wearing a sherwani, like my dad, but I couldn't care in the least. This Indian-American hybrid wedding we're doing is more for our parents than us. I just want to be with Lily.

They're halfway down the aisle and my heart is racing. It's actually pounding, I can feel it against my ribcage. I've never been this nervous before. Is this normal? I should be excited to see my bride but here I am, feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my chest.

The room is starting to spin. Jesus Christ, what is happening? No one seems to notice what's happening to me, not even Zayed. It feels like the room is moving away from me. I try to reach out and grab Zayed's shoulder, but I'm too far away from him now. Everything is so blurry and muffled, I can't tell what's going on.

But next thing I know, it stops and I'm not at the church anymore. In fact, I have no idea where I am. I reach out, as if touching something will make me snap out of this trance, but I'm still here wherever this is. People are rushing past me and I can hear beeping and lots of chatter. There's a group of people standing ten feet away from me and wearing scrubs.

"Um, excuse me?" I say to someone who is rushing past me wearing a lab coat.

"Sorry! Ask a nurse!" the guy yells. That's it! I'm in a hospital! But how the fucking hell did I get here?

I look around and I see a sign that says Nurse's Station and walk right up to it. There's a woman with enormous hair sitting in front of a computer (a really old one too–what's wrong with this hospital?).

"Excuse me," I say to the nurse. "Where exactly am I?"

"You're at the Royal London Hospital," she replies, glancing at me with a little concern.

Royal London Hospital? That's a good thirty miles away from the church.

"Do you–" I start but get cut off. I don't even know what I was going to say, I just needed to continue speaking so that whatever disillusion I'm in can end.

"Sherri, Danya Chopra is going into labor. Can you join us in her room?" says a young looking doctor in light blue scrubs.

Danya Chopra? That's my mother's name.

"Did you just say Danya Chopra?" I say without thinking.

The doctor looks me up and down, noticing my sherwani, and says, "Yes. Who're you?"

"Um–"

The man's pager starts beeping and he mutters, "Shit, we need to go."

The nurse I just talked to follows him and I find myself doing the same, but at a distance so that they don't notice. I don't even know why I'm doing this. I should leave this hospital and go back to the fucking church.

They turn into a room and I stop right by the door, peering in. There's a lot of people in there but when I see the patient, I freeze. It's them–it's my parents. My mum is lying in the bed, her feet propped up against the shoulders of an older looking doctor. My dad is right beside her and holding her hand.

I step back instantly, breathing heavy. This can't be possible? I just saw them in the church. They were sitting in the front row on my side. They were dressed fancy and grinning real big because one of their sons was finally getting married.

Did the same thing happen to them? Were they mysteriously transported here too?

I look into the room again to see if I'm imagining things but they're still there. In fact, the more I look at them the more confused I am. I was about to say, "Ma? Dad?" but I realize that they don't even look exactly the same. They look younger, like they could easily be my age. And they aren't even wearing the outfits they wore to the wedding, while I am.

"Alright, Mrs. Chopra, I need you to push for me," says the doctor. I turn away, I can't watch this. I can hear her yell in pain while my dad tries to say soothing things to her in Hindi. After ten minutes of pushing, I can finally hear crying. I turn around and see a baby being wrapped in a blue blanket and handed to my parents, who looked happier than I'd ever seen them.

"Zev," Ma says. "His name will be Zev."

But I'm Zev. I look around, I see a newspaper rack at the very end of the hallway and sprint towards it. The headline on the first newspaper I see reads:



1985. This is the day I was born. I just watched my own birth. I stumble back, my heart feeling like it did at the church. What the hell is going on? How am I in the year 1985? Is this some kind of horrible prank? Is Zayed behind this?

Suddenly, the hospital is spinning exactly like how the church did. Everything is blurry and muffled, just like before, and I feel myself moving away from the hospital. Then it stops again and I'm back at the church. I'm not at the altar, I'm in my dressing room. I can see mine and Zayed's clothes scattered across the floor. The door that leads to the altar is right in front of me and I stare at it for a minute.

I'm supposed to get married today and instead, I went back in time and somehow saw my own birth. Did someone drug me? Is that what's happening? Because this is impossible. I can't have seen what I just saw because it's impossible.

I take a breath and open the door to the altar.

Lily is still walking down the aisle. She looks utterly confused when she sees me by the door. My family members in the front row look at me confused too. I realize that almost no time must have passed for them while I was gone.

"Wait, how'd you get there?" Zayed whispers when I take my place next to him. I don't answer him.

I try to give Lily the best smile I can muster and she returns it, still looking confused. I take her hand and help her up the steps.

"Okay, let's start," the pastor says when we're settled into our positions. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Lily Spano and Zev Chopra in holy matrimony..."

I'm starting to get a pounding headache. I can feel myself sweating in this goddamn outfit too. Why is it so hot in here?

"Zev? Are you okay?" Lily asks, whispering as the pastor continues to speak.

"If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together–let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

And because I have perfect timing, I say, "I need a second," and step back. There's a gasp amongst the crowd and Lily looks shocked. I feel like I'm having a panic attack or something because it's becoming hard for me to breathe. I turn around and Zayed immediately takes me into the dressing rooms.

"Dude, what the hell?" he asks.

"I don't know what the hell is going on," I say, pacing. "I think I'm going crazy."

"Zev, what are you talking about?"

I stop pacing and look at my brother. The best person to tell this to is him because I'm not sure if Lily will be able to see past me needing a minute in the middle of our wedding to understand.

"This is going to sound insane but–but you know how one second I was right there next to you, and the next I was by the door?" I ask. Zayed nods his head. "I'm pretty sure I just traveled in time."