Sequel: Everlasting ›
Evermore
xvii.
Mary sat in her empty bedroom, the door closed and locked from the outside as she looked into the mirror of her vanity. Upon arrival at her home, she had been ordered to remove her wedding gown, dress befit of her new station and wait until she was fetched.
It had been hours and she had not heard a words from anyone other than Sarah who had brought her a few slices of bread and cheese. The maid—her dearest and longest lived friend did not make eye contact or speak to her, attesting to the severity of her outburst.
As the sun began to set the click of the lock and jiggle of the handle drew Mary’s attention to the door. She looked as Sophia stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, “We have arranged a place for you at an abbey in Cambuskenneth; you will be traveling north to Scotland on the morrow.”
Mary nodded in understanding before saying, “Mother, I—”
Sophia held up her hand, effectively silencing Mary before saying, “Nothing you say can fix the precarious situation you have forced your father and I into. Your poor sister may never find a husband because of what you’ve done, your father’s position at the bank is in jeopardy as well because of your selfishness. You may have effectively ruined us Mary and all because you cannot think of anyone but yourself. You will be taking dinner in your room tonight and then come first light you will be sent off.”
Mary hung her head in shame, “I understand, mother. I just… I wanted you to know that I am sorry but if faced with the choice again I would do it. Maybe I would not have been a good wife, mayhap I will serve God better.”
The scoff that came from her mother’s mouth was like a knife to Mary’s heart, “I would hope, unless you forsake Him as you did us.” The door closed immediately behind Sophia and Mary was left completely alone.
Morning came quicker than Mary could prepare. She had not slept a wink, tossing and turning in her bed trying to find a comfortable position but sleep never overcame her; her thoughts running rampant about what her future would hold.
The journey north to Cambuskenneth would be a difficult trip, at least two weeks on the road with only herself as company and Mary dreaded it. She had hardly ever left the city, only on the rare occasion to visit cousins on the coast but her Father and Mother had always been with her. Never had she been permitted to travel on her own.
Though, she was a ruined woman and nothing mattered anymore except saving whatever dignity her family had left; some would be salvageable once she reached the Abbey and word traveled of her vows to God.
Mary rolled over in bed just as Sarah entered, her expression sad as she closed the bedroom door behind her. “Mary, your father instructed me to help you dress.”
“How completely have I muddled things, Sarah?”
Sarah frowned, hesitating before saying, “Quite badly, I am afraid. The whole town is talking about it and I am sure it will be talk in the many months to come.”
“What are they saying of me?” Mary could not keep her curiosity at bay, she would want to know how everyone would think of her, so no questions of remaining integrity would remain.
Sarah frowned before sighing and sitting on the bed next to Mary, “They think you have been having a secret affair, that your lover spurned you and the reason for your parents sending you off is to hide a bastard child.”
Mary frowned at the partially true account, at least some inkling of the truth having made it into the rumors and gossip of London, “Have mother and father said a word of any of it?”
“Your mother has been spending a great deal of time with your sister; Charlotte is beside herself at the thought of becoming a spinster. Your father was up long into the night trying to placate Mr. Arnold and salvage the two family’s relationship.” Sarah paused before going teary eyed, “I am being dismissed once you are off as your sister already has a maid. Your father said my usefulness has come to an end.”
Mary’s heart fell at her maid’s words, wishing she could bring her companion with her to Scotland, “Sarah, I am truly sorry.”
Sarah sniffled and gave Mary a smile, “I have seen you sacrifice time and again for your family and even myself at times. I will no doubt have to return to Lancaster; my mama has a position at an estate there and may help me find work. Come now, we must get you ready, the carriage has already arrived for your departure.”
Solemnly, Mary stood and allowed Sarah to help her dress; a ghastly, old gown that had been found after rummaging in a few trunks. Never again would she be permitted to wear the bright colors of spring or dance about a ballroom in flowing dresses.
Once Mary was buttoned into the dress she looked pleadingly to her companion, “Please assure me this was the best choice? I need someone to tell me I have not made the biggest mistake of my life.”
Sarah reached out and took both of Mary’s hands into her own, squeezing them as she looked into her eyes, “You would have never have been happy with the life your parents wanted for you. It may not feel so now, but I believe in time you will be so grateful for the life in the abbey.”
Mary smiled at her friend, tears in her eyes as she enclosed her in a hug. The embrace only lasting moments before Sarah led Mary from her bedroom and onto the ground level of the only home she had ever known to where her father and mother waited.
“We have hired a coach to take you to Cambuskenneth. Pastor Edwards has sent a missive ahead of your arrival, you will be expected,” her father explained coldly, his expression disapproving and stern.
Mary nodded before asking, “May I write to you?”
“I do not believe that would be wise,” Sophia warned, “A clean break will be best and we do not want word being trudged up that we keep in contact with an ignoble daughter.”
A tears pricked Mary’s eyes her father spoke up, “Its quiet obvious you have been ruined; I hope whatever simpleton you allowed to spoil you was worth the shame you will have to face before God every day for the rest of your natural life.”
Mary did not dare correct her father, did not even try to defend her honor or explain that she was just as untouched as the day she had been borne but knew it would be no use. Her family had made up their minds about her reputation and nothing she could say would put it to rights. “I am sorry,” she whispered pitifully, hoping that one day they would find the forgiveness in their hearts to let go of the bitterness of her betrayal.
No more words were said as she was shuffled out the doors and towards the carriage that sat just beyond their home, off to the side of the cobbled street, the door opened wide as the driver leaned against the iron wrought fencing.
Mary took the path slowly, trying to hold her head high and not show her the fears she carried within her even as strangers and neighbors feigned business to watch her departure to chosen exile.
Mounting the foothold, Mary began lifting herself into the carriage as another carriage barreled down the street and came to a screeching halt beside her own.
It had been hours and she had not heard a words from anyone other than Sarah who had brought her a few slices of bread and cheese. The maid—her dearest and longest lived friend did not make eye contact or speak to her, attesting to the severity of her outburst.
As the sun began to set the click of the lock and jiggle of the handle drew Mary’s attention to the door. She looked as Sophia stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, “We have arranged a place for you at an abbey in Cambuskenneth; you will be traveling north to Scotland on the morrow.”
Mary nodded in understanding before saying, “Mother, I—”
Sophia held up her hand, effectively silencing Mary before saying, “Nothing you say can fix the precarious situation you have forced your father and I into. Your poor sister may never find a husband because of what you’ve done, your father’s position at the bank is in jeopardy as well because of your selfishness. You may have effectively ruined us Mary and all because you cannot think of anyone but yourself. You will be taking dinner in your room tonight and then come first light you will be sent off.”
Mary hung her head in shame, “I understand, mother. I just… I wanted you to know that I am sorry but if faced with the choice again I would do it. Maybe I would not have been a good wife, mayhap I will serve God better.”
The scoff that came from her mother’s mouth was like a knife to Mary’s heart, “I would hope, unless you forsake Him as you did us.” The door closed immediately behind Sophia and Mary was left completely alone.
Morning came quicker than Mary could prepare. She had not slept a wink, tossing and turning in her bed trying to find a comfortable position but sleep never overcame her; her thoughts running rampant about what her future would hold.
The journey north to Cambuskenneth would be a difficult trip, at least two weeks on the road with only herself as company and Mary dreaded it. She had hardly ever left the city, only on the rare occasion to visit cousins on the coast but her Father and Mother had always been with her. Never had she been permitted to travel on her own.
Though, she was a ruined woman and nothing mattered anymore except saving whatever dignity her family had left; some would be salvageable once she reached the Abbey and word traveled of her vows to God.
Mary rolled over in bed just as Sarah entered, her expression sad as she closed the bedroom door behind her. “Mary, your father instructed me to help you dress.”
“How completely have I muddled things, Sarah?”
Sarah frowned, hesitating before saying, “Quite badly, I am afraid. The whole town is talking about it and I am sure it will be talk in the many months to come.”
“What are they saying of me?” Mary could not keep her curiosity at bay, she would want to know how everyone would think of her, so no questions of remaining integrity would remain.
Sarah frowned before sighing and sitting on the bed next to Mary, “They think you have been having a secret affair, that your lover spurned you and the reason for your parents sending you off is to hide a bastard child.”
Mary frowned at the partially true account, at least some inkling of the truth having made it into the rumors and gossip of London, “Have mother and father said a word of any of it?”
“Your mother has been spending a great deal of time with your sister; Charlotte is beside herself at the thought of becoming a spinster. Your father was up long into the night trying to placate Mr. Arnold and salvage the two family’s relationship.” Sarah paused before going teary eyed, “I am being dismissed once you are off as your sister already has a maid. Your father said my usefulness has come to an end.”
Mary’s heart fell at her maid’s words, wishing she could bring her companion with her to Scotland, “Sarah, I am truly sorry.”
Sarah sniffled and gave Mary a smile, “I have seen you sacrifice time and again for your family and even myself at times. I will no doubt have to return to Lancaster; my mama has a position at an estate there and may help me find work. Come now, we must get you ready, the carriage has already arrived for your departure.”
Solemnly, Mary stood and allowed Sarah to help her dress; a ghastly, old gown that had been found after rummaging in a few trunks. Never again would she be permitted to wear the bright colors of spring or dance about a ballroom in flowing dresses.
Once Mary was buttoned into the dress she looked pleadingly to her companion, “Please assure me this was the best choice? I need someone to tell me I have not made the biggest mistake of my life.”
Sarah reached out and took both of Mary’s hands into her own, squeezing them as she looked into her eyes, “You would have never have been happy with the life your parents wanted for you. It may not feel so now, but I believe in time you will be so grateful for the life in the abbey.”
Mary smiled at her friend, tears in her eyes as she enclosed her in a hug. The embrace only lasting moments before Sarah led Mary from her bedroom and onto the ground level of the only home she had ever known to where her father and mother waited.
“We have hired a coach to take you to Cambuskenneth. Pastor Edwards has sent a missive ahead of your arrival, you will be expected,” her father explained coldly, his expression disapproving and stern.
Mary nodded before asking, “May I write to you?”
“I do not believe that would be wise,” Sophia warned, “A clean break will be best and we do not want word being trudged up that we keep in contact with an ignoble daughter.”
A tears pricked Mary’s eyes her father spoke up, “Its quiet obvious you have been ruined; I hope whatever simpleton you allowed to spoil you was worth the shame you will have to face before God every day for the rest of your natural life.”
Mary did not dare correct her father, did not even try to defend her honor or explain that she was just as untouched as the day she had been borne but knew it would be no use. Her family had made up their minds about her reputation and nothing she could say would put it to rights. “I am sorry,” she whispered pitifully, hoping that one day they would find the forgiveness in their hearts to let go of the bitterness of her betrayal.
No more words were said as she was shuffled out the doors and towards the carriage that sat just beyond their home, off to the side of the cobbled street, the door opened wide as the driver leaned against the iron wrought fencing.
Mary took the path slowly, trying to hold her head high and not show her the fears she carried within her even as strangers and neighbors feigned business to watch her departure to chosen exile.
Mounting the foothold, Mary began lifting herself into the carriage as another carriage barreled down the street and came to a screeching halt beside her own.