City Streets

She looked marvelous in red.

And he hated it.

"Did you see Aspen?" Pratt nudged his friend, motioning to the brunette off in the corner with a group of mutual friends of theirs. Sipping on his scotch, he gave an approving nod, "She looks great." He had gotten to know Aspen through his wife and formed a strong friendship between the three of them.

Chris' jaw locked, unsure of how to tell his new friend of the past involving himself and the woman in red. He could read through Pratt's words, they had talked several times that he needed to find a good woman to settle down with. And ever since then, Pratt had made a pretty long list of potential candidates. Taking the final swig of his drink, he set the rocks glass on the counter of the makeshift bar, "That ship has already sailed, my friend."

Pratt's eyes popped out of his head, "What? No way? You and Aspen? What happened?"

He watched her, her laugh echoing softly among the chatter. She looked happy, so energetic. Like she hadn't suffered the huge heartbreak like she really had. He had left her in such a state that if he could go back and change it, he would with no questions asked. One of the few women that he hadn't taken home to his mother and the only one his mother fell in love with. It was a different time back when they crossed paths initially, all he wanted was to have a fling here and there, nothing serious. But, there was something about her that made him to want them to work but the constant temptation took over. "Just the wrong time."

"Well, screw the past, right?" Pratt raised his glass, motioning towards Aspen, he smiled, "This is a different time now, maybe it'll work."

Chris gave a short chuckle, disagreeing completely, "I don't know buddy. I was a different kind of guy back then and I don't think anything I say could change her mind." He needed to moment to himself, seeing her after all those years reminded him of the opportunity he let slip through his fingers. "Excuse me for a minute," walking across the marbled floor, he made his way towards the balcony. He needed some fresh air to get him through the night, he was shocked to even see her there. She hated parties, especially where she had to dress up, Aspen was such a casual down to Earth kind of person.

"The beard is a new look."

Turning around, he was met with the one person he wanted to avoid, not because he didn't want to but because he had to. Rubbing his jaw, his fingers ran over the coarse facial hair, "Oh, yeah."

Aspen gave a small smile, her heart unsure of what to do. Slowly moving towards him, she bowed her head slightly, letting her hair fall forward, covering half of her face. "It's been a long time."

Chris nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. Not sure what he wanted to run or scoop her up and apologize for everything he had done. He couldn't open old wounds, could he? Rocking back on his heels, he spoke up, "You look great, Pen."

Her head snapped up at the mention of her nickname, it had been so long since she had heard it. It made her heart skip a beat. She wasn't sure if it was a good sign or a bad sign in hearing it. No one other than Chris had ever used a nickname for her. Aspen was such a short name, who would think to shorten it even more? But, Chris had called her Pen from the minute they had met. No one else daring to repeat it. "Thank you," her eyes trailed across his face, "you don't look too bad yourself."

The awkwardness was killing him, he had never been in a situation so painfully awkward until now. He wanted to know why she sought him out, why did she want to put herself in anymore pain than she had been in all those years ago? He couldn't read her, she had gotten good at hiding her true emotions, it came with the job. When they had first met, she had hardly been an actress for long but he kind of liked that in her. She wasn't spoiled by the fame and fortune and to this day, he could tell she still wasn't. He was quite impressed with her resume now, she had a hit television show with a few box office movies under her belt.

A lot of success had come her way and it killed him to know that he wasn't there for any of them. Sure, she had been in a few indie movies before but to be apart of something that caused anyone to go on a wide world press tour was an amazing accomplishment. To say that he was proud of her was an understatement. He had truly found a connection with Aspen all those years ago, he really did. He loved that she was so carefree and easy to be around but she came into his life at such a bad time. Aspen walking out of his life woke him up, she was the reason he was the man he is today. She made him change for the better and his mother had always said, 'Find the woman who makes you want to be a better you.' Granted, by the time he had learned what that truly meant, it was too late. She was gone.

Aspen pursed her lips, gliding past him to look out into the thicket of trees behind the beautiful house they were in. It was ironic to her that she had decided to accept the invitation at such a last minute. She hated parties, absolutely hated them. Anything that involved her to get dolled up was her worst enemy. But there she sat at her hotel room looking at the invitation, debating if she should decline and then something in her like a switch prompted her to go. And now she knew why. Fate wanted her to confront the man that prevented her from having a normal love life. Chris had hurt her bad. She couldn't bring herself to love another man as much as she did with him. She craved him when he was gone and couldn't get enough of him when he was present.

It took a lot of time for her to get over him and when she finally did, she was reminded of him everywhere she went. His association with Marvel made her heart sink deep in her chest whenever she was invited to the premieres and after parties. Aspen had tried her best to avoid him at all costs, knowing that she would fall helplessly and madly in love with him for if he tried to woo her over. Knowing him all too well, she knew that their time was done. He had said himself or so better yet showed her when she walked in on him and a mysterious blonde haired model. She packed her bags and left. Not saying a single word to him in the process. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply, smiling to herself; he smelled the same. A smell she had yearned for so badly.

"Aspen," he started, his hand reaching out for her but pulling it back quickly. What could he possibly say to make himself and her feel better about what he had done. "I can't take it back, but I'm sorry."

She gripped the railing so tightly that her knuckles ached white. Her jaw clenched, her chest rising and falling deeply, what could she say? That he was forgiven? No, she couldn't and she wouldn't. She would never forgive him for what he had put her through. Shaking her head, she pushed off the railing and covered her eyes, "I can't do this, I'm sorry-"

"-Pen." He grabbed her arm, pulling her close, his mouth twitching at the pain that was written clear as day on her face. He cupped her face with his warm hands, remembering how good it felt to have her skin against his, "Please, listen to me. Don't think it didn't hurt me either."

Aspen scoffed, her face still locked in his hands, her eyes staring deeply into his beautiful blue orbs, "I broke my own heart loving you." She whispered, her voice cracking as she let herself relive the moment she had her heart break into a million pieces. She trembled slightly in his grasp, "You will never know how much it hurt to know that I wasn't good enough."

Chris' heart sunk deep in chest to hear those words come from her mouth. His hands dropped from her face down the length of her body and back to his own. He swallowed hard, still staring into those eyes, the eyes he wished he would have appreciated back then. And then maybe he wouldn't be here trying to find the words to prove to her that he truly did feel pain but not in the way she would have liked. "I know, Pen. I wish it didn't take until you leaving that night to realize how much of a perfect gem you were."

Tears pricked her eyes, her voice getting caught in her throat, "Don't say that."

"Why? Because you don't deserve to know how much you meant to me after you left? Fuck that, Pen. You deserve to know that while you were trying to pick up the pieces that I broke, I was punching holes in walls because I was a stupid arrogant kid who wanted a quickie. You deserve to know that while you started to move on, I dreamed of you and only you. Why did I not come after you? Because I wanted you to be fucking happy, I wanted you to move on and find a better man because you know why? I deserve to watch you marry and have children with someone that isn't me and go the rest of my life punishing myself that I let you walk away with pain so loud that it could be heard miles and miles away."

Aspen was speechless, words tried to form but her voice was lost somewhere in her chest. She reached out to touch his face, her fingers combing through the unfamiliar beard. Her chest was beating so loud she was sure he could hear it. She leaned forward, unsure of what was the right thing to do. Walk away or stay right where she was.

"Chris! There you are, I was starting to worry man - oh. Am I interrupting?" Pratt slowly started back up.

Chris cleared his throat, his gaze tearing away from hers and into his friends, "Oh, no. I don't think so."

Aspen took a few steps back, "We were just talking, catching up." Turning away from him, "I should rejoin the party, they're probably wondering where I've gone off too." Taking a quick strides she moved past Pratt but not before leaving a quick kiss on his cheek, "Tell Anna we need to do something soon."

Pratt watched her scamper into the crowd, the red dress disappearing in thin air. He turned back towards Chris, his brow raised, "I interrupted something, didn't I?"

Chris half way nodded, "I'm not sure," his eyes staring off into the crowd. His skin tingling from where she had touched him.