Five Reasons Men Lie

Josh and I have always had a very close relationship, when we were just friends we went everywhere together. To the mall, concerts, amusement parks, you name it we’ve done it together.

We’ve been friends for eight years but a couple for six.

We kinda knew everything there was to know about each other. What our favorite food is, favorite sport, what sound killed our eardrums, or even which city we wished to travel to when we got the time. I felt pretty secure with him, he knew all of my faults and accepted me for them and vice versa.

Everything was calm and peaceful between us.

Nothing to worry or fear about.

Until he started coming home late without texting me. Now I get it he was a big boy he could stay out as late as he wanted but when he did finally show up; he acted lethargic and would spend odd amounts of time in the bathroom. In the morning however, he would pretend as if none of it ever happened and that I was just dreaming.

I did do that from time to time dream of things simple enough to be reality so for a while I believed him.

Until one day I was doing laundry; I noticed a rather odd stain on one of his t-shirts. He wore mostly black and other than his aesthetic I began to realize why. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d say that this was blood.

Training to be an RN I’ve seen and touched bloodied clothes enough to know what old blood felt and smelt like.

It was definitely blood.

What could he have been doing that caused him to bleed like this?



There was no answer after; I brushed it off he was at Ryan’s he was most likely having a good time putting music together he was probably distracted.

I had to throw the shirt out though the stain was too thick for me to get out, and I wasn’t interested in taking a band shirt to the dry cleaners.

I put the laundry away shortly after our text conversation and while I was hanging up his clothes I heard an odd buzzing sound coming from his bedside table.

A phone?

I quickly abandoned my first task to see what was going on.

When I pulled the drawer open I saw another iPhone just lying there with a lit up screen. I trusted Josh but why would he have a second phone I didn’t know about? I tried to think of possible answers but none I wanted to think about came to mind.

So I decided to see who he was texting and why.

A person with the initial of N had a text that just said Tower street.

I knew where that was; it was in the not so nice part of town. What would he be doing over there? He doesn’t even drink so I doubt he was buying drugs. I was positive he wasn’t picking up prostitutes either, what was this boy doing?

Should I have been worried? I didn’t know I set the phone back where it was how I had found it. I’d find some way of getting answers.

***

Later that evening Josh had arrived home rather early.

A lot earlier than he had been returning these past few weeks. I was pleased; but I didn’t want to forget that I had a mission to complete. I wanted to know what the hell he was doing out there to get blood all over his shirt.

I smiled at him from the couch eating my Chinese takeout, “Hey you’re home early.”

“Am I?” he chuckled, placing an arm on the couch behind me, “I didn’t know I had a curfew.”

I tsked at him but let him kiss me anyway, “You know I don’t care as long as I know you’re alive.”

“I know I’m just teasing you baby,” he took a bite out of my food, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Okay,” I said softly but then I noticed a bruise on the side of his head, “Wait, how’d you get that bruise?”

“What bruise?”

“The one right there.”

I poked the purplish blue mark and when he gasped I knew he had to drop the stupid act.

“Ow,” he snapped before backing away completely, “I dropped my pen on the floor and when I bent down to pick it up Ryan was moving his guitar and he knocked me in the skull.”

“Jesus you two are dangerous together…”

I swirled my lo mein around my chopsticks ignoring the funny look I received from him, he knew I knew that something was up and he looked nervous.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean every time you’re at Ryan’s you come back with an injury or something,” I told him nonchalantly, “I was doing laundry today and I had the hardest time getting the blood out of your Slayer shirt so I had to throw it away.”

“What?!” he snapped and ran his hand through his hair or lack there of, “That was one of my favorite shirts…”

“It was completely ruined.”

“You know Aura that wasn’t your call to make.”

“What do you mean it wasn’t my call?” I returned putting my food down on the table ready to fight, “I always do the laundry, if it were up to you the clothes would be sitting in a pile on the floor for a month.”

“That was my shirt it doesn’t matter whether you cleaned it or not.”

“Whatever Josh go take your shower.”

“You know I’m right…”

I gave him the finger before turning back to my food and the TV; needless to say he was able to direct my attention away from where the stain came from. I would have to try again when this whole thing blew over.

***

Two weeks later, whenever I had a break from the hospital I’d check for that phone. It became obvious to me that he hardly ever left that secret iPhone. It was a onetime mistake and I was frustrated I had no way of knowing what was going on short of just coming out and asking him.

Last night Josh didn’t even show up until two thirty in the morning. He took a shower then too, I had no idea what he was doing but I didn’t like the way it looked.

So when I got home that evening I decided to do a little private investigating. I began searching the closet in the bedroom for any damn clue. I found nothing but then an idea dawned on me, Josh was always in the garage working on his motorcycle or his car. If he had anything weird that’s where it would be.

On my merry way I went.

I noticed that Josh took his cycle instead of his car again. Not that it was a big deal he preferred to ride his bike when he could. I was grateful it gave me the chance to search his glove compartment. There was nothing, if he was hiding something (which I knew he was) than he was doing it the right way.

So I decided to check the work bench, and the tool box, and the only thing I found out was that he had chapel at two today? Like hell Josh went to church, something was up and this little note made me want to find more information so I continued to search.

“Aura why are you rifling through my stuff?”

My neck would later hurt from whiplash when I realized my boyfriend was standing in the doorway.

I gently slid the note in to my back pocket and made a grab for a socket wrench.

“Something was loose on my car.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Should I check it out?”

“No, no, I’ve got it.”

I made a go for the door but he stopped me with an arm, “Should we have a talk?”

“About what?”

I knew that could have been my in but I cared more about looking innocent than anything. Privacy was a big thing between us because we had trusted each other. There had never been a reason for either of us to invade the other’s space, but now there was.

“I don’t know you’ve been acting weird lately.”

“Really?” I feigned surprised, “I’m just really tired my internship has run me in to the ground.”

“If you say so,” he said giving me an odd look.
***

Another couple weeks passed and I noticed Josh had been trying to smooth over the suspicion I had, whether I told him It was there or not. We knew each other too well.

It didn’t leave me enough time to look for anything because he was always with me; which was nice but where was he when he wasn’t with me?

That question had begun to eat me up on the inside.

One day when I was at the hospital doing an IV, my superior came in telling me that my boyfriend was looking for me.

“Make it quick Mattarazzo,” she whispered quietly, “You are supposed to be earning your hours.”

I nodded quietly.

My boyfriend was waiting quietly at the service desk of my floor his back to me, a Worn Doll hoodie but when he turned around I saw a little bit of a leather vest peeking out of the front. Was that a cut?

I tried to get a better look without making it obvious but he moved too quickly.

“Hey what are you doing here?”

“I need your help.”

I nodded my head, “What do you need?”

“Medical supplies anything you can give me.”

“Why?” I gave him look of confusion, “Are you sick?”

“No it’s my dad,” he said softly, “He doesn’t have insurance and he fell off his bike got some shit stuck in the wound too.”

“Babe I can get in serious trouble I’m not even on the payroll here,” I pulled him off to the wall away from the desk just in case the receptionist returned early, doubted it, but just to be safe.

“They track everything here,” I said softly, “The best I can do is give you my practice kit.”

“Are they clean?”

“Of course they’ve only been used on plastic.”

“And they’re the real thing?”

“Of course.”

“It’s in my car come on.”

***

Not even three days later I was at home doing my own thing, by myself. Josh was out again when I noticed that a black Cadillac escalade was sitting across the street from my home. It wasn’t a familiar car, our neighbors could have bought a new car but I had a feeling they didn’t.

I shrugged it off.

It was probably just one of their friends and I was being paranoid.

However when it returned the next night I got a little weirded out.

I just made sure my doors were locked and my windows secure.

When it returned the third night; I texted my boyfriend.

With that as his final word I let it go and went to bed I had be to up early the next morning.

***

CRASH

I awoke with a start. The first thing I noticed was Josh wasn’t in bed and it was nearing four AM, and because of that I went to scope out the sound with a baseball bat in my hand. What I was expecting to see was a burglar in a ski mask; not my boyfriend handcuffed against our own wall and my Grandmother’s vase shattered in pieces on the floor.

“Joshua Balz you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be assigned to you—”

“What the hell is going on?” I questioned in disbelief, “Josh what the fuck?”

“Ma’am put the weapon down!”

I dropped the bat immediately and put my hands up, the officer then came to put my hands behind my back.

“No!” Josh barked resisting the officer who had him cuffed, “She has nothing to do with this!”

“They all say that!”

“But he really means it,” I told him, “I have no clue what’s going on!”

“We’ll talk more at the station.”

***

“For the last time Ms. Mazzaratto do you know of the Motorcycle gang Skull Crushers?”

“For the last time Officer no!”

“Do you really expect us to believe that you’ve been with your old man for almost a decade and you had no idea he was in an MC?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, “I knew Josh loved his Harleys but honestly I had no idea he was in an MC!”

The guy reading my results on the machine looked up and I could tell that my results were just as I expected them to be. I had no fucking clue that Josh had been illegally distributing anything, let alone coke and heroin!

“Stroffski, I think she really has no clue,” one detective whispered to the guy who had been in my face for the past hour.

“If that’s the case then we can’t book her for anything.”

“So I’m free to go?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he told me waving his hand, “Cut her loose.”

I was thanking my lucky stars; I wasn’t made for jail especially not if I was ignorant as hell.

I went with the nicer of the two cops and when he led me out of the interrogation room, I asked him what had been on my mind.

“Can I see Josh?”

“He’s being booked right now you’re better off coming back tomorrow,” he said earnestly, “Let me give you a piece of advice?”

I wasn’t sure I really wanted it but I didn’t think I had a choice.

“You can do much better than that scumbag,” he said stopping our journey to the exit just so he could lean me against wall, I felt like he was trapping me; I did the best I could to gain some space.

“It just so happens that I like the Gothic girls,” he said taking a piece of my long hair and running it through his fingers; I wanted to gag and say no but there was a commotion that cut me off.

“Fucking bastard!” Josh spat gunning for the cop, “Take your fucking hands off my lady!”

“Joshua stop!”

I snapped I didn’t want him to get a worsened list of charges; luckily an officer was able to grab Josh before he managed to kick the fucker.

Tears formed in my eyes as I watched them escort my boyfriend down the never ending corridor; I was heart broken. He lied to me for our entire relationship. But I had never felt such a need to protect him in the entire six years.

“Hope his MC’s got a good lawyer on their payroll…”

The cop told me watching the same scene; Me too.

***

A few days later I was admitted in to the county jail to see my boyfriend. I had to be frisked; and one officer even offered to do a strip search for me; fucking prick.

I learned that a few of Josh’s family members and friends had been locked up as well, and on that same day I was told I could no longer be ignorant. His aunt told me that if I was going to be with Josh I had to accept his club; if I couldn’t do it I had to leave him now while I had my federal innocence.

I was led to the hallway of telephones partitioned by glass; the waiting is what was making me sick. I had come here today knowing I had to tell Josh whether or not I was going to stick by him. For nearly seven years this man has been my whole life. I loved him, I did everything with him, and he was living a lie the entire time. Not only was I hurt but I was pissed off too.

The buzz of the inmate gate snapped me out of my thoughts; I could have let out a heartfelt sob when I saw my boyfriend in that orange jumpsuit. My Josh was a hot head at times but never had I thought he’d end up behind bars.

I let him pick up the phone first.

I had to wait a minute to reign my emotions in. Only then did I slowly pick up the receiver.

“Baby—”

“Let me speak first Josh because I have a lot to say.”

I looked across the glass and he just nodded his head once for me.

“First off Orange washes your pale ass out,” I chuckled and so did he but our conversation took a turn for the serious, “You lied to me for eight years Josh, eight fucking years. Do you know what it feels like to be told the person you knew like the back of your own hand, was really somebody else? I felt like a goddamn fool in that room. I think that one sleazy cop actually felt bad for me, because I honestly had no idea about any of that…I feel like such an asshole right now…”

I wiped away the tears that were ruining my mascara, “And now I’m crying.”

“Aura,” he said softly placing his hand against the bulletproof casing, “I’m still me.”

“How can you have the nerve to say that to me?” I snapped, “I told you every little detail about my life, and all you fed me were lies.”

“No I did not,” he returned a little heated himself, “Everything I told you that makes me who I am was fucking truth; my MC didn’t concern you and shouldn’t concern you now we haven’t done anything wrong all we are is a club.”

“Why doesn’t it concern me Josh?” I asked quietly, “We were planning a future together and you think something like that doesn’t concern me?”

He sat there quietly; as if he were taking everything I said in to account. Or more like he was taking the last thing I said in to serious consideration.

“It’s a club for motorcycle enthusiasts,” he said carefully, “And riders, you’re neither I didn’t think you needed to know.”

I swallowed a hard lump in my throat, “Josh I—”

“Do not say it Aura,” he snapped quickly, “Don’t say something damning when you’re scared. I’m still the same man who loves, and cherishes you, please do not say something because you’re afraid.”

“Josh—” I broke off trying to hold back tears, “I love you so much and I-I’m just so confused right now, I don’t know what t-to do.”

“There’s nothing to be scared of babe,” he said softly, “I love you, there’s nothing to be confused about. I love you and I know you love me it’s as simple as that.”

You have one minute left.

The annoying automated voice said over the speaker; but I have to admit that stupid message helped give me an out.

“I just need some time to think.”

I slammed the receiver down and booked it before I could glance at his desolate face. He had already managed to stop me from severing all ties; I could only imagine what the sadness in those doe eyes were capable of.

***

The metal was loud; it smelled like whiskey and leather but we were all excited. I helped some of the House mammas finish decorating the clubhouse and when I finished that task I began to pour some of the celebratory shots.

As I was pouring the fourth one we heard the strong sound of a group of motorcycles approaching the parking lot. Josh’s aunt gave me a wink and linked arms with me as we headed outside to greet the boys.

I sifted through the seven to find mine and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face when I saw him. He looked weary but otherwise okay, when he dismounted his bike I went right for him and when he scooped me up I chuckled.

Kissing him happily and passionately, “You’re so lucky Camden is such a crooked good lawyer any longer than a year I think I would’ve gone crazy…”

“Is that right?” he mumbled against my lips, “I’ll show you crazy later tonight.”

“Pig,” I playfully snapped biting his lip in retribution.

“Depraved man baby,” He returned with a laugh, “Not a pig.”

“Everyone inside,” the president which I learned was Josh’s father called to the rest of the guests, “You too lovebirds.”

Josh wrapped his arm around me and led me inside; we took a couple of shots and I smoked a few cigarettes before Josh’s dad began to gain everyone’s attention.

“Quiet down everyone my son has somethin’ he wants to say!”

I looked to Josh out of curiosity but I noticed his friend Ryan who was also part of the MC, had another cut on his arm and he was bringing it toward us. He handed it over to Josh who in turn pulled me up; showed everyone the cut (which got some whistles) and then turned to me.

“It means a lot to me that you decided to stay Aura and I know I’ve asked a lot of you already but since you decided to stay with my sorry ass I want you to wear my cut.”

He held it out so I could see:



It was barbaric that it read property; but I knew it was for protection. So I turned around and held out my arms so he could slip it on. He kissed me during all the chaotic cheers, and clinking of glasses, he even managed to give the finger to Ryan.

My man was of many talents; protecting me from his job for eight years was one of ‘em.