Notes

Teddy threw himself back against his pillows, he had been awake for the last three hours. Ripped out of his light slumber by the sound of his younger sister sobbing, painful sobs alerting the male to the fact that his sister had suffered another night terror. Dreams that grip her tightly and don’t let her go until she wakes up in hysterics, hyperventilating, drowned in sweat and unable to speak let alone move. Even though Teddy couldn’t offer his little sister words of comfort too afraid to speak he could offer her his embrace. A warm, welcoming embrace. The dark haired male had held her until she finally fell back to sleep, her tears pooled in the bend of his elbow and a painful knot of disgust twisted his stomach.

The male hadn’t been able to sleep after that he had simply laid in his bed listening for any sound of disturbance from his younger sibling’s room knowing that he would be in there before the dream could do anymore damage.

It was the same ever night his father would come home from the pub drunk and start a fight with the family for no reason whatsoever. Teddy had suffered many injuries from his fathers drunk rage. Bruises that had to be covered with material or concealer to hide any evidence, broken bones that had been mended in the darkness of his room.

Teddy vaguely remembers a time when everything was good, when he spoke freely not afraid, when his parents were in love and when they loved their children. Since his father lost his job he had fallen into a dark place. He soothed his pain in the contents of a bottle and vented his drunken anger out on his family.

There was a soft knock on his bedroom door as it was pushed open, standing before him was his mother, Laura Nelson, she was dressed in a long sleeved shirt and a dark pair of denim jeans hiding the marrings on her skin but Teddy noticed the shadow underneath her left eye. He could tell she had tried to cover it with makeup but had failed the red scratches on her jaw and throat also didn’t go unnoticed by her son

“Sorry baby,” she whispered sorrow thick in her voice. “It’s seven, if you want to be on time you better get ready.” Teddy nodded his head and pulled himself off his bed raking his fingers through his hair. Laura tried to smile at her son but it came out as a sad grimace. Red hot anger seared through the male and in an instant he had wrapped his broken mother in his arms and kissed the top of her head reassuring her that he loved her. Laura returned the gesture for a few moments before pulling away and exiting the room the door closing with a soft click.

Teddy was dressed quickly, his clothes were loose on him but they covered what needed to be covered to stop suspicion. Grabbing his school bag he threw it over his shoulder and exited his room, however he nearly came toppling down when he ran into Violet. The child lifted her head and looked at him through bleary eyes still filled with sleep.

“Silly Teddy,” she mumbled before moving forward toward the bathroom. Teddy watched after her a small smile curving his lips. Violet was only eight but she managed to make him smile on a daily basis. Through all her fear and pain she could put on a brave face and pretend nothing was happening at home.

The male trod softly passed his parents room where his father still slept deeply, his snored rumbling out the crack in the door. The teenager entered the kitchen where his mother was sat hunched over the table a steaming mug of coffee in front of her. Her face was buried in her hands as her body trembled with silent sobs. Reaching out the male touched his mothers back causing her to jump. Laura spin her features twisted with fear however when she saw who it was the fear melted from her face as she tried to smile, once again, for her son.

“Hey Teddy… I’ll make you some breakfast,” the male stopped her from getting up shaking his head, he wasn’t hungry instead he kissed on the cheek and left.



The walk to school was long enough for him to clear his head and get his thoughts together. His first class was English Studies, which would be easy as all he had to do was touch up his one thousand word essay he had written on the Shakespearian text they had studied.

Macbeth, Teddy wasn’t a fan of Shakespearian literature but he loathed Macbeth, the politics in it bored him and a majority of Shakespeare’s plays were over dramatised and annoying. Romeo and Juliet being the worst one he had ever had the misfortune of reading. He never understood how many could praise and swoon over the play. It was pathetic.

Over dramatised and unrealistic.

He would tell himself every time a teacher brought up the beauty and power of the play they clearly hadn’t read it. How can a play be so beautiful when the female protagonist is fourteen and the male twenty one. They know each other for three days fall in love and then die?

Unrealistic.

Teddy knew how much of a pessimist he seemed like but he didn’t care, it was his opinion and he was entitled to it. He was lost in his thoughts as he walked through the gate leading into the school that he didn’t notice the group that was walking in front of him until it was too late.

“Oh,” Teddy quickly grabbed the girl before she fell over, when he saw who it was he instantly let go of her and looked down at his shoes. “Hey Teddy,” the male looked up taken aback by the fact that she knew his name. A wide grin broke across his face when he saw how she was smiling pleasantly at him. The fact that he had bumped into her had blown over instantly. She chuckled before continuing to walk off with her friends.

“He is such a freak,” one of the girls giggled, Teddy sighed and began to walk off.

“He is not Fiona,” Teddy head spun around at the sound of the female defending him. Her attention was fully on her friend a serious look spread across her face. Teddy watched as she walked off he smiled when he saw the badge that was stitched onto her school bag

Killer Queen

The relation between the name and the person he spoke to online was exactly the same, it was Tansy that he spoke to ever morning and ever night but the male was certain that she had no idea she spoke to him. At first Teddy had no real idea who he was talking to other then the fact that it was a girl and she attended his school and the more the two talked together the more things began to piece together for him.

Such as she had a small clique of friends but many acquaintances, she listed off her closest friends and told him about them and he knew who they were right away. She talked about her habit of drawing on herself because she desperately wanted a tattoo, that she always sat on the oval at lunch and recess enjoying the sun which Teddy had seen her doing many times. She would talk about guys that she had to endure in her group of friends and how frustrating they were.

Teddy had returned the favour telling her little bits about himself but not delving too deep not wanting to give away too much information about himself and his family life. He had told her about the things he loved and the things he loathed, the classes he enjoyed and the music he loved. The two of them would spend hours talk to one and other over IM.

Teddy had even gone so far as to slip a note into the gap of her locker before hurrying off. It was normally something short and funny. From the shadows he watched as she opened it and laughed at his joke or funny limerick. There was no denying he was in love with her but he could only love her from a distance. He enjoyed seeing her smile, seeing the way her face lit up with happiness whenever she was complimented or whenever someone told her a funny story.

The dark haired male wanted to talk to her but his anxiety made it impossible so he stuck to writing small notes or messaging her on the chat room. He really wanted to ask her to formal but he was afraid that he would be cut down, afraid that he would be laughed at, afraid that she would say no and walk away.

Turning he kept walking toward his home class thinking to himself all the while of why he had to be so weak and pathetic. Why couldn’t he just swallow his anxiety and fear and speak. Because he knew it wasn’t that easy. He had to be comfortable, really comfortable, around a person before he could even make a sound let alone speak a sentence.

Entering his classroom he walked toward the back and sat down throwing his bag down by his feet and waiting for his teacher to arrive knowing full well that she would be late. She always was.