Around Our Heads

Since we had spent so much gas and time, Chris and I decided to just go home. Then I curled up on the couch with Avery and cuddled her. In the beginning, I was worried that she might inherit some horrible monster genes from my biological father. And now it turned out the guy was perfectly average. He was just a regular dude with a regular wife and a good career and a fully grown illegitimate daughter who was conceived in a consensual affair. Of course there was nothing wrong with Avery. Maybe her grandmother was ruthless, but I wasn’t worried about that getting passed on to her.

I was at work on Monday when Olivia came to check on me.

“How’s the daddy hunt going?” she asked casually as she leaned against the cubicle walls. I pushed my glasses back up onto my nose.

“Pretty good, actually,” I told her. “I talked to him the other day.”

“How’d that go?” I blew out of my mouth and shrugged.

“Decent. He’s a lawyer. Has his own firm not far from here. He has a wife, a kid, and a whole Leave it to Beaver kind of life going on. You know—aside from the illegitimate daughter.” She gave me a weak smile.

“What was he like?”

“Perfectly normal. I was going to call you, but I was kind of overwhelmed, so I didn’t really do very much.”

“Was it horrible?”

“Um….” I scratched my elbow and took my time. “Not really. I just sort of learned a few new things. Some lies my mom told me,” I explained.

“Lies?” she asked.

“He didn’t do it. He never hurt her. She was his receptionist, and I guess she and my dad hit a rough patch, so she started sleeping with him. She broke it off when she and her husband decided to work things out, and she got pregnant. Since she was too afraid to tell her husband the truth, she just made up this lie that got out of hand. I kind of flipped out on her about it, actually. I told her I never wanted to see her again.” She winced.

“I’m sorry, Marley.” I shrugged and put my hands back on my keyboard.

“I guess I’m upset and relieved at the same time, you know? I spent all this time thinking my father was a monster, and it turns out he’s just a normal dude. But then again, I spent my whole life thinking my mother was a victim, and it turns out she’s just a pathological liar who nearly ruined my whole life. So it’s kind of a bittersweet revelation, I suppose.”

“So, what are you going to do about your father?”

“I decided I’m going to see him again today at lunch. I just want to swing by and talk to him. He said he wanted us to have dinner with him sometime so he can meet Avery and I can meet my little sister. I was thinking of getting to know him and inviting him to the wedding. Maybe if things work out, I’ll ask him to walk me down the aisle,” I told her.

“Wow, that’s a big step,” she said.

“I know. But he’s the only father I have, and if it turns out he’s not a dick, I might as well ask him to do his job, right? Plus, he seemed really thrilled about Avery and wants to get to know her. And that’s really important to me because my mom’s family couldn’t care less.”

“Well, let me know how it goes, okay?”

“I will. I’ll keep you updated.” She left me alone, so I went back to work.

When it was time for my lunch break, I took the bus a few blocks over. Then I went back to the silvery green building and up to the ninth floor. The same smooth blonde woman was sitting behind the desk when I let myself into the main office. She looked up at me and gave me a warm smile. Then she stood up to greet me.

“Hi. Marley, is it?” she asked as she reached out her hand. I shook it.

“Yeah, Marley,” I confirmed.

“I didn’t get to properly meet you the other day. My name is Angie. I didn’t know you were Mr. Gazarra’s daughter. I should have known. You look just like him.” I laughed softly.

“Well, I didn’t really know much about him at the time either. So it’s all kind of new to me.”

“I understand. He’s in his office if you want to pop in.”

“Yeah, I just came to talk to him really quick while I’m on my lunch break.”

“I’ll let him know you’re here.” She sat back down and pressed the button for the intercom. “Mr. Gazarra, your daughter is here to see you.”

“You can send her in,” he replied.

“You can go back.”

I thanked her and headed down the hallway to his office. I knocked softly before letting myself in. He was sitting behind his desk.

“Marley, hi. Come on in,” he said. So I stepped toward his desk nervously. “I’m just having lunch. How are you?” I sat down in the same cushy gray chair.

“I’m great. I’m on my lunch break too, so I wanted to stop by and see if maybe you um—wanted to meet Avery sometime this week.”

“I would love to. When will you be free?”

“I get off at five every day, and I’m free on weekends. Chris’s schedule is pretty flexible right now.”

“Then how about Wednesday?” he asked. “I should get off fairly early then.”

“That could work.”

“Here, let me give you our address.” He pulled out a professional-looking notepad and wrote his address and brief directions. Then he handed it over. “Does six thirty work for you?”

“That would be perfect. I’m gonna head back, so I’m not late, but it was nice seeing you again.” He nodded.

“You too. I’m looking forward to Wednesday.” I smiled and nodded. Then I stood and headed for the door. “Wait, Marley,” he said. So I turned back around.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I’m assuming you spoke to your mother?” I nodded again.

“Yeah, I talked to her right after I saw you. Well—screamed at her is probably more accurate. But—she confirmed everything you told me, so—I don’t know—I guess I just want—to get to know you. If that’s something you’re still interested in.” He nodded again. He seemed to do a lot of thoughtful nodding.

“I’m glad,” he said. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I wish I could have been around to be there for you, and I am definitely interested in getting to know you too.”

“It’s really not your fault,” I assured him. “She just told a lie that got out of hand, and I kind of had to pay for it. But I’m okay now. I have a great family and everything. I just started to think about things when we got engaged. I realized I didn’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle, and then I decided I wanted to at least know who you are. I always thought you were a monster, so I’m relieved you’re not. I’m still angry. Just for a lot of different reasons now and not at you.”

“Well, I’m glad that you decided to find me. I’m looking forward to being part of that family and getting to meet your little ones.” I smiled.

“I’m looking forward to it too. We’ll see you on Wednesday.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then.”