Around Our Heads

During dinner, we just talked about our lives. Gazarra told me about how he’d grown up in Los Angeles. He said he had five brothers and sisters and was the youngest of them. He’d gotten a scholarship to Brown in high school and graduated with a law degree. He met Diane through a client. They got married, and apparently, Iris took a lot of work to come into existence. But they didn’t go into detail about that, thankfully. And I was right about Diane looking like some kind of fashion designer. She worked for a magazine.

We talked about my life too. I told them about growing up in Napa with two brothers and a sister and my nerdy high school years. I didn’t go to college. I just worked from job to job and didn’t get this one until Olivia offered it to me. I was happy where I was and making okay money. We talked about Chris, how we met, and how Avery came into the world. I left out the complicated parts. Like how I considered giving her up because I was worried I’d inherited something bad from him. I wasn’t sure how much Gazarra told Diane anyway.

After dinner, I was actually feeling kind of good about everything. We all got along nicely, and I got a lot of traits from him. Like my nerdiness and my nearsightedness. He said he had Lasix eye surgery, so he didn’t wear glasses anymore. I said there was no way in hell I was letting anyone come at my eyes with sharp objects. I still wouldn’t even let people give me bangs.

When we were done, we all sat in the living room so Avery could play with the baby while Gazarra showed me some family photos. He showed me old pictures of his parents, brothers, and sisters. I guess I also had a shitton of cousins that I didn’t know. And apparently, my grandparents were both dead. That was disappointing because I didn’t know what it was like to have grandparents who actually wanted me around. But he said they would have been excited to meet me.

Finally, we left after the baby had been put to bed, and Avery fell asleep in Chris’s arms. So we said goodbye and carried her out to the car. We were quiet until we were on the road back home.

“So, what are you thinking about?” Chris asked me. I had my arm against the door, biting my thumbnail.

“Just thinking about my family and stuff. I always thought I had a pretty small one. Turns out I have a million cousins, and my family used to own potato fields in Eastern Europe.”

“It’s always fun to learn things about your past.” He reached out to take my hand. “I’m happy for you. I’ll be honest. I was kind of expecting the worst. But I’m glad it’s working out okay. I’m sorry that you had to go through what you did, but I’m glad things are being cleared up. And that you have more people to add to our guest list.”

“I’m glad too. I’m still upset with my mom and everything, but it’s nice to finally know the truth. Now I just feel bad for spending all my life hating him.”

“I think he understands the situation. And I don’t forgive your mother either. But life goes on, you know? At least she finally told you the truth. When you asked her, she made a choice between you and her lie, and she chose you.” I nodded.

“I know. Maybe I’ll write her a letter or something. I just don’t know if I can face her right now.”

“I’m sure she’d like that. Maybe now that things are out in the open, she’ll be more willing to be part of Avery’s life. And your father seems to like her a lot. So that’s really important to me.”

“Me too. And my sister is super cute.”

“She is. She looks just like you.” I laughed.

“I know. It’s scary.”

“Scary for me. Now there are three of you.” I laughed again. “I’m happy for you, babe.”

“Me too.”

The next day when I was at work, Zig called me to tell me he talked to our mom. He said she confirmed what I’d told him, and she was sorry for lying. He said he tried to talk to Brian and Luna too. Luna took it harder than Brian. She didn’t even want to talk to him. But I was hoping at least something got through to her. Brian acted like he didn’t even care. So I decided not to even ask Zig if they said anything about my wedding. I didn’t want it to hurt when I heard they didn’t want to come.

As the wedding approached, I spent a lot of time with Chris’s mom and sister making plans. I wanted it to be pretty simple because I didn’t think I could deal with spending a lot of money on things like fancy plates or monogrammed napkins. But they were both really crafty and good at coming up with ideas. I also spent a lot of time with Gazarra. I was really interested in learning about my family. The good thing is that he felt the same way. So we got together for lunch once a week since we worked so close to each other.

Then I finally decided to get around to asking him the question that had been bothering me. We were having lunch at the Olive Garden—don’t judge me—The only thing is that, UNLIKE Olivia/Miss Snoody Italian, Gazarra totally understood my love for canned alfredo sauce. So I was picking at my salad when he was going to town on the breadsticks. Then I finally spoke.

“So um—there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you about,” I said.

“Sure, what’s that?” he replied. I cleared my throat.

“Well, um—my wedding is coming up, you know. And well—I don’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle. I know we haven’t really known each other very long, and we don’t really want it to stand for that whole ‘giving me away’ thing. But I was still wondering if maybe you wanted the job?” He looked up at me.

“I’d be honored, Marley.” I smiled and nodded.

“Cool. I felt kind of weird asking you.”

“Don’t feel weird. I know we don’t have a typical father/daughter relationship, but I would like it if we did. I’ve always wanted to walk you down the aisle. I know you loved your dad very much, and I know you’re too old to need a father figure, but I’d still like to do as much as I can.”

“That’s awesome then. I was hoping you’d say yes.”

“Did you expect any different?”

“It would have been awkward and embarrassing if you said no.” He laughed.

“Of course I’ll take the job. I’d love to.” I smiled again.

“Freaking sweet.”