Around Our Heads

After Chris and I got Avery fed and ready for the day, the doorbell rang. I went to get it since Chris was in the shower. I opened the door to find Olivia.

“Hey, come in,” I said.

“What the hell?” she replied.

“We got moo-stashes!” Avery shouted as she jumped onto the couch to show hers off. We still had them on.

“You guys are so silly. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, let me just tell Chris. He’s still in the shower.”

“Kay.” I left her with Avery and headed down the hall to the bathroom. I opened the door and ripped the shower curtain open.

“Jesus,” he said with a jump.

“Olivia is here to get us. I just wanted to let you know.”

“Oh, alright.” He kissed me quickly with wet lips, but then I reached around to pinch his butt.

“Hmm—maybe I don’t want to go anywhere.” He smiled.

“Later, you can do whatever you want to me, babe.”

“But you’re so sexy when you’re all wet like that.”

“I’d pull you in here with me, but not only do I not want to get you all wet, the handlebar mustache kind of doesn’t work for me.” I ripped it off. “That’s better.” He kissed me again but this time with a lot more tongue and groping.

“You’re so damn irresistible, Mclean,” I said.

“Look who’s talking,” he retorted.

“I love you.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll be waiting.” I kissed him one more time and then left the bathroom. But okay, I totally pinched his butt again before I left.

I “shaved” Avery’s mustache and got her in Olivia’s car. Then we headed to Gazarra’s house to get ready. We chose their house because it was the closest and roomiest. Plus, Diane had my dress under lock and key, and I trusted her with it since she knew more about that stuff than I did. When we got there, we all clamored into the house. Helen, Sarah, and Claudia were already there, and they were my bridesmaids because I didn’t really have a lot of friends. Gazarra was there, but he was sitting in front of the TV with the baby, ignoring that his house was full of really excited women.

Diane rushed me right up the stairs to get ready. They told me they were going to take pictures of me getting prepared, so I had to put my contacts in and take off the yoga suit. So we were in Diane’s room with all the ladies when I pulled my shirt off. They all zeroed in on my stomach, except for Avery, who was busy playing with Diane’s makeup brushes.

“What the hell is that?” Sarah asked. I looked down.

“Oh, Avery thought the baby needed a mustache,” I explained. Then I peeled it off. “See? Not permanent.”

“Oh, thank God, I thought it was a weird handlebar-shaped patch of hair,” Diane said. I laughed.

“The 99 Cent story has a mustache machine.”

They forced me to put on a lacy white bra with matching underpants and some sort of sexy garter get-up. Which was weird because while I did own like maybe one sexy outfit, I hardly ever wore it. But at least they let me cover up with a robe.

We spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon locked up in the upstairs bedroom. Diane had not only hired one of her photographers but also her makeup artist and hairstylist too, so I got that done while everyone else was getting ready. I took the longest, but Diane said that was normal. All my bridesmaids wore pretty russet orange dresses, and Diane even got matching outfits for her and Helen. Helen seemed really excited about it because it was apparently some brand that fashionable people liked, and she felt fancy.

I spent a lot of time being perfectly still while they worked on me. I was bored out of my mind and wouldn’t stop fidgeting, asking questions, or picking things up. And I think the hairstylist and makeup artist were both kinda irritated with me, but they persevered. Luckily, they listened to my suggestions because I told them I didn’t want my hair to be crunchy or have a thousand pins in it later. So they just curled it and kept it as natural looking as possible.

Then finally, I was almost ready to go. Gazarra had already left. Diane had Iris on her lap. Iris was wearing a super adorable orange dress with little bows in her hair. Avery was wearing almost the exact same outfit, but she told them she wanted her hair and makeup done like mine. But I really didn’t want her to wear a ton of makeup, so I just let her get some mascara and lipgloss. She licked it all off within five minutes anyway, but she was still pretty thrilled.

Finally, they helped me into my dress, and Diane buttoned it up and tied the ribbon back. All of the girls watched from the bed.

“Wow,” they all said.

“Good choice,” Olivia agreed. I smiled and blushed because I felt really fancy and unusually pretty. Then Diane put the headband she’d settled on in my hair and turned me toward the floor-length mirror.

“What do you think?” she asked. I smiled.

“I think I am extremely lucky,” I replied.

“You definitely are. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

“Mommy, you look so prettyful like a princess,” Avery told me as she came up to take my hand.

“Thank you, baby. You look prettyful like a princess too.”