Start Me Up

When Tessa woke up the next morning she shuffled across the hall and into the bathroom to get ready for the day without alerting the other occupants of the house. She did her thing, and then pulled her hair up into a neat bun before she headed out to the kitchen intent on getting some cereal for breakfast only to find Shea at the stove cooking and Amelia at the table working. They both looked less than impressed and Tessa didn't know if it was with each other or not.

Amelia looked up and smiled when she saw Tessa walk into the kitchen, "You're up."

"I'm up." Tessa stated, reached around Shea to grab a glass from the cupboard beside him before she filled it with water and dropped into a chair at the table next to Amelia.

Amelia stated, "You got home late last night."

"It was eleven, that's hardly late." Tessa informed her.

Shea stayed where he was at the stove cooking, with his back to them but he actively tuned into their conversation, interested to hear about Tessa's date with Patrice. Just the thought made him angry. He hated that it made him angry because he knew Tessa deserved even one night of being showered with attention and to be taken care of and made to feel special. She deserved a life time of that to make up for the last decade of her life and Shea couldn’t figure out why he was so angry about it.

Of all the guys Amelia could have set Tessa up with she had to pick Patrice fucking Bergeron? The guy was practically perfect, he could do no wrong, the guy was literally a saint, and in fact, Shea was sure that his nickname on the internet had something to do with that. He put every other man on the planet to shame. No one had a chance against him.

"So, how was it?" Amelia asked her, her voice much more excited and interested than it had been all morning thus far. Not surprising when they had spent most of their morning quietly sniping at each other.

Shea had picked a fight with her when she brought her laptop out of her office to get some work done before breakfast and he didn't even know why. It had never bothered him before, they used to frequently do breakfasts like this, hell sometimes even lunch. But it was like suddenly everything Amelia did bothered him and he hated it, but he knew exactly why it did. Because of Tessa. Because Shea wasn't sure he even wanted to be in this relationship anymore. Because Shea wasn't sure he wanted his life anymore.

Still, he stirred the bacon in the pan in front of him and listened carefully as Tessa told Amelia, "It was nice. He was really nice."

"And?" Amelia asked her with a grin.

"And... I don't know. He's a really great guy, we’ll probably keep in touch, and if the circumstances were different then maybe I'd be a little more open to trying this out." Tessa explained.

"Circumstances?" Amelia asked her curiously.

Tessa nodded her head, took a drink of her water and told her, "I'm just not interested in long distance anything right now. Honestly, I don't even know if I'm interested in a relationship right now."

"I think you are but you're just afraid you're not ready." Amelia told her and Shea wanted to turn around and tell her to stop being so pushy, that Tessa would move on when she wanted to and not any sooner but he kept his mouth shut.

He heard Tessa sigh and say, "I just got out of a ten-year relationship Amy, one where I stopped being me and I think it's gonna take more than a few months for me to get back to who I was and to be ready for a relationship. I mean, maybe if the right guy comes along that might change but I'm sorry, a guy in Boston, no matter how great he is, just isn't it."

Shea jumped when a splash of bacon grease hit his hand and he yanked his hand back, nearly dropping the pan on the floor as he said, "Ouch!"

"You okay?" Amelia asked him, glancing over at him from her computer screen.

He couldn't stop himself from mumbling back, "Yeah, I'm fine, don't strain yourself."

Tessa watched as Amelia rolled her eyes, closed her laptop and picked it up along with her six file folders of papers. She told Tessa, "I'll be in my office for the rest of the morning, try to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or burn the house down please."

With that she disappeared down the hall, the door to the office closing a little louder than normal and Shea let out a sigh. Tessa watched as he filled up three plates with breakfast, and then he stood holding one, and he glanced toward the hall.

Tessa got up and took the plate, telling him, "I got it."

So Shea watched as he went down the hall to bring Amelia breakfast before he grabbed their two plates and brought them to the table. When Tessa came back and sat down Shea waited until she had a few bites to ask her, "So?"

She nodded her head but didn't say anything so he started to eat his own breakfast. That was when Tessa asked him, "What in the hell is going on with you?"

Shea looked over at her in alarm, "What do you mean?"

Tessa shot him an 'I'm not an idiot' look and he sighed. She watched as he pushed a hand through his hair before she told him, "You're taking your issues out on everyone Shea. It's not fair."

"You don't think I know that?" He asked her with a slightly raised voice, and then he turned to look down the hallway for a moment. When he looked back at Tessa he lowered his voice and asked her, "But what do you think I'm going through right now? I can't for the life of me figure out why we did what we did."

Her only response was, "Don't take it out on her."

He rolled his eyes but changed the subject by telling her, "For the record, Bergy isn't right for you anyway."

Tessa raised her eyebrow at him and asked, her voice harsh, "Why? Because you said so?"

Shea sighed and tried, and failed to get his point across, "What? No... it's just... come on Tess you said it yourself; some guy in another state is not the right thing for you right now."

And what, the guy I live in the same house with is? Newsflash Shea, you're practically my brother-in-law, it doesn't matter how much either of us might want this it's never gonna happen.

She rolled her eyes and asked him angrily, “You can't have me so no one else can have me. Is that it?”

He sighed again, “No. Tessa… it’s not like that. It doesn’t matter how much I might want you, I can’t have you but…Look, don't get me wrong... Bergy's a great guy. He'd treat you right and you deserve that... but he lives in another state, not just any state either he lives over a thousand miles away and you said it; you just got out of a decade-long relationship so yeah, pardon me for thinking that you'd be crazy to get involved in that kind of a relationship right now."

She nodded her head slowly and got up from the table. Shea watched her in confusion as she brought her plate to the kitchen and threw out what was left of her breakfast, putting the plate and utensils in the dishwasher before she disappeared into her bedroom, the door closing just a little louder than usual and the sound made him flinch.

Shea shoved his hands through his hair and sighed. What did he have to go and open his big, dumb mouth for anyhow?

How had he managed to make it so that both of the women he was living with were not talking to him? Well, he knew how, but that wasn't the point. The point was... he wasn't even sure what the point was any more he just knew what it wasn't.

So he finished his breakfast, and then shoved his feet into a pair of runners and left the house. He thought today might be a good day to pop over and see how Pekka's house was coming along, and he could use the walk and fresh air.

He was a little disappointed that Pekka was home, part of him had been hoping that he wouldn't be so that Shea didn't have to talk to him. Still, he approached the front door and knocked three times and a minute later the door swung open and Pekka looked surprised. His brow raised and he explained, "Not who I was expecting."

Shea wanted to hit him. He wanted to ball his fist up and clock the goaltender in the face once and for all, but he didn't. How could he? Pekka had done absolutely nothing wrong, other than vocally express that he had been expecting Tessa to be on the other side of the door, not Shea.

Shea cleared his throat and explained, "I have two women who live in my house pissed at me and currently not talking to me, I thought I'd come over here and see how the house is going."

Pekka nodded his head and stepped aside to let Shea in, as he did so he told him, "Keep your shoes on, the place is a mess right now."

Shea nodded and followed Pekka inside to look around. The living room was done save for any furniture, as Pekka told him, and the dining room was almost done aside from the wall that they had just knocked down to open it up to the kitchen a little more. Pekka informed him that checking out the upstairs was not a good idea right now; it was such a mess from construction that even he was sleeping in the guest house.

Once they had made their way into the basement, Pekka's new living room until the furniture for the one upstairs arrived, Pekka asked Shea, "So what are they mad at you about?"

Shea looked over and raised his eyebrow but he told Pekka, "I guess... I mean Amelia isn't really mad at me I think she's just tired of me because I'm always pissed at her. It's like... do you ever have those days where everything someone does just pisses you off?"

"Every practice having to deal with you fools." Pekka told him with a grin and Shea let out a chuckle.

"It's like it started because she had to go back to St. Louis like three times... and man I can appreciate the fact that she loves her job, and that she has one and I support her one hundred percent but... I don't know I guess her always being gone on top of me always being gone... I feel like we never see each other and that put enough of a strain on us but now it's like I'm pissed when she's gone and I'm pissed when she's home." Shea told him, ranting but they both knew it.

Shea sighed, shoved his hands through his hair and looked over in confusion when Pekka asked him, "And what's Tessa pissed at you for?"

"What do you mean? I never said she was mad at me." Shea was backpedaling.

Pekka rolled his eyes, "You distinctly said you had two women in your house that are pissed at you so unless you've got another lady living there that I don’t know about..."

Shea sighed again. Fuck.

"Honestly, no idea." He knew.

Pekka called him on it, "You do know, and fuck you for lying to me right now. The whole Shea and Tessa dynamic... it's been weird for weeks man, what the hell is going on?"

"I think... I mean I know...I wouldn't know how to explain it and even if I did you'd never believe me." Shea mumbled, leaning his head back against the couch to stare up at the ceiling.

"Try me." Pekka told him firmly.

He sighed, pushed a hand through his hair and told Pekka, "Tessa's pretty... you know?"

"Gorgeous." Pekka nodded his head in agreement.

"And I can't blame you guys for trying with her, really I can't. Frankly, she deserves a guy like you or James, someone that would finally treat her like a real person and not an object." Shea stated, nodding his head in agreement to his own statement.

Beside him, Pekka raised his eyebrow and asked, "But?"

"But what?" Shea looked over at Pekka in confusion.

Pekka rolled his eyes at him and told him, "There was more to that statement."

"Nope." Shea stated.

"Yes, there was." Damn him for being so damn pushy sometimes, not that Shea could blame him.

So he sighed, and admitted, "But it's pissing me off now. The way everyone flirts with her, the fact that she flirts back. Like I don't know...it's never bothered me before but all of a sudden it does and no offense man but every time one of you guys even look at her I just want to knock your teeth in."

Pekka turned in his spot on the couch to face Shea, and he hesitated for a moment before asking him, "Shea... do you think the reason you're so mad at Amelia all the time now is because... maybe you might have some more than friends feelings for Tessa?"

"I kissed her." Shea admitted quickly, and Pekka raised his eyebrow at him.

When Shea didn't respond Pekka got up from the couch and crossed the room to where a little makeshift bar was set up, he grabbed two glasses from the cupboard over the sink and a bottle from the fridge before he brought them over to the couch again. He placed the glasses on the coffee table, poured an ounce in each one and then he handed Shea the glass full of amber liquid and told him, "I feel like this conversation might require something a little stronger than water."

Shea took the glass and looked at it, before he told Pekka, "It's like ten thirty in the morning."

"It's five o'clock somewhere, right?" Pekka asked him.

"That's an Alan Jackson song." Shea muttered, but he downed the whole drink in one shot.

Pekka raised his eyebrow and pushed their conversation further, "So you kissed Tessa."

Shea nodded his head and straightened up, reaching out to pour himself another drink before he downed it all again, and then he told Pekka, "Last week. When Amelia was out of town. We were cooking dinner and I just..."

"Okay... so did she kiss you back? Or did she slap you in the face?" Pekka asked him curiously.

"She kissed me back." Shea told him, and then he let out a breath of air and shoved his hands through his hair as he mumbled, "What the fuck dude? What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you." Pekka told him and when Shea turned to glare at him he said, "Really, nothing is wrong with you. You said it yourself, Tessa's gorgeous and she's single for the first time that you've known her. So you're curious, it's normal, man."

"Kissing your sister-in-law is not normal." Shea muttered, he leaned forward; elbows on his knees and his head resting in his hands, his fingers tugging on strands of his dark hair. He left out the fact that they had slept together not once, but twice. He hadn’t come to terms with that one yet, and he didn’t want to make things weird between himself and Pekka. Shea knew that the goaltender had always had a bit of a soft spot for Tessa, and now more than ever Shea completely understood why.

"No it's not but... look maybe you've always felt this way." When Shea glared at him Pekka rolled his eyes and continued, "Maybe, had you met Tessa before Amelia you would have known that. Maybe had Tessa not been married when you met her you would have realized that. But now you're engaged to Amelia, and Tessa is single and she's gorgeous and you know everyone that even looks at her is gonna want to get in her pants and you're realizing that maybe you fit into that group too."

"She went on a date last night... with Bergy." Shea told him, and then before Pekka could even verbally express his surprise Shea continued, "And... I wanted to kill him. I've never had an issue with him my entire career, I'd go so far as to even say we're friends. He's a great guy and he'd treat her like she hung the moon and I know that and I want that for her and... fuck man I wanted to kill him last night."