Start Me Up

“What do you mean?” Tessa asked, she wasn’t purposely trying to act dumb, she was just so caught off guard by Amelia’s question that she wasn’t sure she knew what she was asking.

Amelia watched her for a second or two before she repeated her question, “Are you gonna go with him? To Montreal this season.”

Tessa told her honestly, “I don’t know. I haven’t really had the chance to think about it much, it’s been a long couple of weeks.”

“I bet.” Amelia stated softly, nodding her head slowly for good measure.

Curiously Tessa asked her, “Would you? I mean, I know I don’t have a right to ask that but… would you?”

“I don’t think I would have. I have a career, a life… I don’t know that I would just throw all of that away.” Amelia told her honestly, and when Tessa nodded her head this time she continued, telling her softly, “Don’t do it Tessa.”

“Why not?” She asked her, eyebrow raised.

“I’m not just saying it because I want you guys to fail, because I don’t, I’ve made peace with what happened. I’m just saying… you gave up your life for a guy and his career once already and look where it got you.” Amelia reminded her, as if Tessa hadn’t already thought of that.

She put out the line she told herself every time she thought of it as well, “I could work in Montreal, easily.”

“Don’t go with him Tessa, I know you, I’ve known you my entire life and I know you’ll regret it.” Amelia told her softly, reaching out to grab her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. After a second or two Amelia voiced, “Let’s change the subject.”

“To what?” Tessa asked her, eyebrow raised in slight amusement, thought her mind was still weighing on her sister’s words.

“Did mom tell you it’s a girl?” Tessa’s head whipped over to her in surprise when she said that, and Amelia nodded with a smile on her face. She went on to say, “Yeah… she’s supposed to be here around the end of September. She might end up sharing a birthday with Aaron.”

“That’s great Amy.”

“You can stop worrying, you know.” Amelia told her softly, and when Tessa’s eyebrow raised she explained what she had meant by telling her, “I’m okay. I’ve moved on. You can stop worrying about whether or not you’ve ruined my life because honestly, had all of what happened not happened I probably wouldn’t have run into Aaron that night and I wouldn’t be here… about to be a mom in a few months.”

“But I did ruin your life.” Tessa stated, and when Amelia went to argue with her she continued, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you’re happy and that you’ve moved on and that you maybe don’t quite hate me as much as you did before but… Amelia… I ruined your life.”

“No you didn’t. You ruined what I had and directed me to something better.” Amelia assured her, and knowing that Tessa wasn’t totally sold on the idea she went on to say, “Do I hate you for what you did, absolutely, do I wish things had ended differently, of course but did you ruin my life? Absolutely not. Shea and I were already ruined long before you even got to Nashville, if I’m being honest I think we were ruined when I cheated at the start of our relationship and we just kept trying to convince ourselves otherwise. We were not meant to be, I’ve realized that and I’ve accepted it. We’re meant to be with other people. Me with Aaron and Shea with you.”

“Do you think that we’ll ever be able to…I don’t know, fix things and be sisters again? I know things will never go back to the way that they were but do you think we’ll ever be able to be semi normal again? You can honest with me.” Tessa asked her, waiting patiently for her answer.

“Honestly, no I don’t think we can but that’s okay.” Amelia told her, letting out a cough before she went on, telling Tessa with a slight smile on her face, “But maybe I’ll send you some pictures as she grows up, and maybe she can visit every once in a while, once she’s older. Maybe that’s how we go about our lives now.”

“Can I send her birthday presents, and Christmas gifts?” Tessa asked her with a smile.

Amelia let out a laugh and she told her, “Yes, you can get her birthday and Christmas gifts.”

- - -

Tessa hadn’t seen her mother in the time that she was in St. Louis, she hadn’t heard much from Shea either but that wasn’t unusual lately. She knew that Shea thought she had drawn a line in the sand with him on the other side when it came to their future so she knew he wasn’t much for talking right now.

She showered once she got back to the hotel, made sure her things were packed and then she headed to the airport, alone in a cab. Once she was checked in and through the long security lines and she had found two empty seats at her gate Tessa dropped into one and set her bag on the other, digging through it for her phone. Once that was located she pulled it out and opened up a text to Shea.

‘At the gate, waiting to board. I’ll be home at five, I have cash for a cab.’

His response came a minute later, she was sure he was just laying around the house with his phone in his lap waiting for her. That or he was out on the boat with the anchor down.

‘I’ll be waiting to pick you up, don’t take a cab you’ll just get lost. When are you boarding?’

‘Not for another half hour yet.’

She laughed when her phone lit up with a phone call, she hit accept and plugged one ear bud into her ear so that she could hear him as she leaned back in her chair and slid her phone into her pocket again. He immediately stated, “Sounds like you need some company for a while.”

Smiling Tessa told him, “That would be nice.”

“You sure you didn’t want to stay?” Shea asked her curiously.

She nodded even though he couldn’t see her which made her cheeks flush before she told him, “I’m sure. I was here long enough, it’s time to come home how.”

“Amelia’s okay?” He asked her, a little hesitantly but that only made Tessa smile to herself.

“She’s great. I get to be the proud aunt of a niece who will be here in late September, early October and I get to send her birthday and Christmas gifts with the promise of at least one summer visit a year once she turns ten.” Tessa told him, he could hear the excitement in her voice over the phone and it caused a wide smile to spread across his face.

“Yeah?” He asked her.

“Mhmm. You know, we both kind of acknowledged the fact that we won’t ever really have that relationship anymore but Amelia made it pretty clear that she still wants me in her life if only for unborn baby no name.” Tessa told him.

He laughed, “Unborn baby no name, huh?”

“Yes. She wouldn’t even give me a hint.”

“And you’re okay with that? The first part, that is.” Shea asked her.

Tessa told him honestly, “I am. I went there expecting nothing, because she owes me nothing and I knew there was no way we were going to be able to fix things between us. We’ve both accepted that. She did tell me that I didn’t ruin her life like I thought I did, so that was nice to hear.”

“Was it me?” He asked her curiously.

Tessa chuckled and assured him, “No, it wasn’t either of us. She made it pretty clear that, while she hates me for what happened, if it wasn’t for what happened she wouldn’t be where she is now. She knows you two were long over before all of this, trust me Shea she doesn’t blame you for anything.”

“Good… she has every right to but I’m a little glad she doesn’t.” Shea said honestly. Tessa knew exactly how he felt. Before she could say anything he asked her, “So you wanna go for dinner when you get in? I know this really great place that makes really, really good steak.”

With a laugh Tessa told him, “That sounds great. I have to leave you now though, or I won’t make it home because they’re starting to board.”

“I’ll see you in a few hours. I love you Tess.”

She smiled to herself as she got up and made her way to the line that was forming at the terminal entrance, as she dug through her bag for her ticket and passport she told Shea, “I love you too, see you in a bit.”

She got comfortable in her window seat the second she sat down, shoving her bag underneath the seat in front of her as she pulled her phone out. When she opened up the Apple Music app she realized, based on the overwhelming amount of country and ACDC that she was still logged into Shea’s account from their weekend cabin trip before they had left for Vegas.

She was going to log out when a playlist showed up in the downloaded music section, the only one there. It was simply titled by her name, so she clicked on it and read what Shea had typed into the description of the playlist he had created, a smile stretching across her mouth.

‘If you ever need to reminded of how I feel about you.’

She hit shuffle and put the other ear bud into her ear, turning the volume up as she turned her phone to airplane mode. The very first song, go figure, was a Dierks Bentley song, and Tessa would never admit it out loud but she had to fight to keep herself from looking like a smiling lunatic in her seat as she listened to the song.

‘I’ve never been the kind to bear my heart soul, yeah I’ve always taken pride staying in control. I told myself I’d never fall too deep but girl you came along and made a liar out of me. I’m as gone as I can be.’

When she arrived back in Kelowna, bag strung over her shoulder, Tessa made her way through the airport and she had to stop and laugh when she arrived in the baggage area to find Shea, sunglasses over his eyes with a hat on his head, holding a piece of paper up at his chest.

In his writing, in marker, was ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’.

He grinned over at her when he saw her and she picked up her pace just a little bit, leaning up to kiss his lips the second she was within reach. She told him, “I know it was only like a day but I missed you.”

“I won’t hold it against you.” Shea told her, wrapping his arm around her as they headed out to the truck in the pay for parking lot, he looked over at her as they walked, grinned and told her, “Because I probably missed you more.”

Tessa collapsed into the passenger seat of the truck, leaning over to change the radio station when he turned the engine over but she pulled her hand away when she realized he had already been listening to Ozzy’s Boneyard. She grinned over at him and noted, “Either I have you trained that well or someone has finally accepted that they like good music.”

He rolled his eyes and told her, “I change it regularly, not every song is a hit.”

“Liar.” She stated. Tessa didn’t pay attention while Shea drove, she hadn’t even been aware of where they were going until Shea pulled into the driveway of his summer house. She turned to him in her seat and raised her eyebrow, “I thought you were taking me to a really great place that makes really, really good steak?”

“I am. I have an in with the chef.” Shea informed her as he got out of the truck and she followed suit.

As they approached the front door Tessa asked, “Yeah, who’s that?”

“Me, Tess. I’m the chef that can cook a really, really good steak.” Shea told her with a smile, adding in, “And what’s greater than a low key night in?”

“There’s hope for you yet Weber.” Tessa told him as she walked inside, kicking out of her shoes and going directly upstairs to unpack her bag into the hamper and bathroom.

Shea was outside standing in front of the barbecue when she made her way downstairs so she grabbed him a beer and herself a bottle of Sprite before she headed out there. He took the beer and she peered over his shoulder to check out what he was doing. He told her, “See. Potatoes, vegetables and steak for dinner, all cooked by me on the grill. Full service.”

She let out a laugh, “Full service would be if you were naked so that I had something to look at while I waited for my meal, I’m just saying.”

“We have neighbors Tessa.” Shea pointed out.

Tessa fired back with, “That didn’t stop you from taking my clothes off on the balcony the other night.”

He grinned over at her, “Special circumstances.”

“Oh yeah, what special circumstances?” She challenged him with.

He had to think about it for a moment before he told her, “Needed to cross something off of my x-rated bucket list.”

“I’ve corrupted you, I enjoy it greatly.” She told him with a grin, leaning over and up on her toes to kiss his lips quickly. Shea responded by putting the grilling fork down and wrapping both of his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him as he deepened their kiss.

The timer on his phone went off, telling him that it was time to put the steak on so they pulled apart, but not before he leaned down once she was back on her feet and kissed her once more quickly. He put the steak on the grill, shut the barbecue lid and then he reached out and slapped her butt, making her jump.

He sat down on one of the patio chairs, Tessa in the one next to them as they each took a drink of their respective drink choices. That was when Shea approached the subject with her, “I have a trip booked to Montreal next month… for the both of us, I know you’re not sure about what you’re doing in terms of the future and I get it’s a big decision but… please don’t make the decision until you’ve at least gone there and seen it first hand and experienced it with me. Give me the chance to show you what our future could be like there before you make up your mind, please Tess.”

You gave up your life for a guy and his career once already and look where it got you. I know you, I’ve known you my entire life and I know you’ll regret it.

Tessa turned her head to Shea, and she smiled gently as she asked him, “When do we leave?”