Status: I'm horrible

Waste His Time


Wasting his time (2016) has been a motto Alex has sworn to live by this year. Yes, the sudden interest has been caused by a relationship in the past that while ended on her terms, it didn't sit with her as well as she wanted it to. Alex thinks of herself as the girl who knows better when it comes to boys - she's not naive, she knows what boys want and she knows how to say no.

So Alex decides that with her knowledge, she should join Tinder.

Tinder's fun for that quick validation of knowing that yes, you can take good photos and yes, someone finds you attractive even though the ratio of guys to girls is vastly different. It's also fun for those fuckboys who think that by asking 'dtf?' is going to make you want to dtf. Fun fact: it's not.

She’s had a few hit and misses with guys when she meets a guy of the same nationality (Sri-Lankan) as her: let’s call him Tacky. Alex isn’t sure why she swiped right on him in the first place, as she tends not to be interested in guys with the same nationality as her. She doesn’t find them attractive in any sense of the word. Tacky asked if she would be interested to hook up, Alex says no. The conversation ends. Months later, Tacky sends her another message and asks if she’s dtf. Alex says no, she doesn’t hook up with curries, but “thanks for the offer.”

She’s not really sending her thanks. It’s just sarcasm.

They talk back and forth, well, he talks while she adds in quips because she’s not sure if she’s finding entertainment from talking to him or not. She soon realises he’s a dick in the form of the following conversation.

“I only have sex when I’m in a relationship.” – Alex

“So you must not have a lot of sex lol.” – Tacky

“Is that a bad thing?” Alex asks because she’s kind of annoyed, now.

“Lol. Sex makes life better.”

“Good sex does,” Alex quips. “Good sex with someone I want to have sex with does, I mean.”

“I’d defs offer to show you a good time, you probs wouldn’t even need to look at my face. I know what I’m doing.”

Now that the dickhead status on Tacky has been solidified, it’s time to set up a trap. Alex does a quick turn around and decides that despite all the lovely comments Tacky has been making, it’s time to let him think that they’re going to fuck.

So she sets the plan in motion.

It starts with a “wow, that sounds really appealing” and “tell me what else you can do,” prompting some cringe worthy sex talk (a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do). Eventually it leads to him asking what her plans are for the following day, she tells him that she’s free and he happens to mention that he has “money” and can “easily book out a nice hotel and show [her] a good time”. Classy. There’s nothing Alex loves more than a guy with money. The plan is this: meet at the station in the city and they’ll walk together to the trashy hotel that’s not even a five minute walk away. There, they’ll engage in some doggy style sex where Alex won’t be forced to look at him and she can leave eight hours later, because yes, the plan is to fuck from 9-5. He asks her for her number to finalise plans, she avoids the question and asks whether he’s booked the hotel or not. He has. Perfect.

The next morning she goes into the city, but for entirely different reasons. He asks for her number again and she gives him a friend’s ex’s number. She doesn’t block him on Tinder just yet.

An hour later, while she’s on the train, he asks where she is. He tells her he’s at the hotel and waiting in the lobby. She tells him she’ll be there in five. Twenty minutes later, he sends her a message along the lines of this: “Hey just called your number and some guy picked up? Did you make a mistake in the number?”

Alex blocks him on Tinder.

Sometime later, Alex is in the city and walks past the hotel that she was supposed to meet Tacky in. She sees a tall Sri-Lankan guy making his way towards the station. She smiles and continues on her way.

#wastehistime2016 is officially complete.
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this is the best thing to happen to me in a long time