Cheaters = Losers

"What the fuck?" Billie spat, his face flickering between pure, white hot fury and hurt. "What the actual fuck?"
"Billie,"
"Fuck you. No, fuck him,"
"Billie, listen," I pleaded
"Billie listen," he mocked like a child, wobbling his head about and mimicking my voice. I could feel the tears pricking my eyes, hurt beginning to pierce through me at his lack of listening.
"I'm going home," I said, my voice horrible squeaky and constricted from trying not to cry. I sent a particularly nasty look at Edmund, "Don't keep in touch," I stormed back into the main restaurant lobby.
"Hattie, I'm going home," I said to my once best friend, who was chatting weddings and babies with one of the girls we used to hate.
"Huh? Okay bye sweetie," she said falsely, not even noticing my tone, or the fact that my eyes were swimming with tears.

The cold London air was surprisingly soothing as it stung my face and the tears began to fall freely. I didn't make it very far before I couldn't see through the watery blur and I couldn't breathe from the panicked gasps of non-existent air. I felt like I'd just been beaten up on the inside, I felt lost with Hattie, who was supposed to be my best friend I felt betrayed by Edmund, who was supposed to respect me and I felt broken by Billie, who was supposed to trust and listen to me. I ended up sliding down a wall and holding myself as it felt like my world was crumbling. I didn't know what to do, Billie was very monogamous and I was terrified he would leave me, I was terrified he thought I had wanted Edmund's slimy mouth on me, I was terrified because in a few months I'd gone from not knowing him to not knowing a life without him. I wanted to go home, except I didn't really know where home was anymore, there was a big part of me that said home was right here in England, but also a part that was screaming at me to go back to Oakland and spend my days with Jimmy and the others. They felt like family to me by that point anyway.

"Lily?" A hoarse voice startled me, I looked up sadly only to feel my system tear into two: absolute relief and ice cold dread. Billie was staring down at me, his eyes red. Without saying anything he reached down, I grasped his hand and even the electric bolt that I was still getting used to was dampened, Billie helped me up and we began to walk side by side home. The silence was stale and awkward and charged with hurt and anger on both parties. I'd never been through something as uncomfortable as that with him.
"Billie?" He was staring at the floor, scuffing his shoes along the pavement. When I said his name he barely looked at me. "I can't believe he did that,"
"I can't believe you let him do that," he snapped immediately.
"Jesus Christ, Billie. I didn't want him to," Billie was scowling again, and I could feel the frustration building up at his disbelief in me.
"How can I believe you? We flew to the other side of the fucking world for a high school reunion at the drop of a hat for this guy, I then find out that you used to date him, and that he fucking wants to get back together. You follow him for two minutes and the next thing I know you're fucking all over each other!" I rolled my eyes.
"You're so blind! He caught me by surprise when he kissed me and I pushed him away immediately because I love you!" He shrugged and kicked at a wall, too stubborn to listen to me. By this point we were home and the both of us were fuming.

I had slammed the door a little too hard, because mum flounced into the spacious hall in a flowery nightgown.
"Everything okay dear?"
"Peachy," I snapped through gritted teeth.
"It was shit," Billie cut in. I winced, my family did not approve of swearing, and it was evident in my mother's pursed lips, but she held her tongue. Chris, however did not. Her voice floated downstairs.
"Fifty pence in the swear pot!" She sang as she leapt downstairs and landed, grabbing the wooden box off the baker's rack.
"What?" Billie stared bewildered at Chris, who's small hands were wrapped around a faded pink money box with a 3D wooden princess on it that she was holding out to him. "What is that?" Chris grinned wickedly
"The swear pot. Every time you say a swear word you have to pay fifty pence," digging into my pocket I produced a shining coin, irritably slotting it into the hole at the top. "Corrupt little snot," I playfully scowled at her. "Do not pay her a penny," I warned Billie, disregarding the fight to keep up appearances with the family. "She saves up and spends it all on ice cream in the summer. Anyway, it's been a long day, I'm going to bed." I said and bid my mum, sister and dad who had appeared unexpectedly goodnight. I heard Billie say something politely and follow me up.

I changed into my pyjamas with my back turned, the uncomfortable silence settling between us.
"I'm not even surprised anymore," Billie muttered.
"What?" I gawped at him incredulously
"Why wouldn't you choose him over me?" I could feel the anger beginning to radiate off Billie, crashing onto me in waves that boiled my blood.
"How dare you! I already told you I pushed him away immediately, how could you ever accuse me of cheating when you know what Josh did to me?" Billie ran a hand through his hair roughly, almost ripping it out as he growled angrily.
"How could I? Quite fucking easily, Lily. He's a filthy rich perfect child, with the looks to match. He's everything everyone wants you to have and everything I'm not. Y'know, he can give you everything I can't with ease and you were clearly a power couple before, you're better off with him. Did I mention he looks perfect for you? All tall and handsome and shit," Billie ranted, getting himself worked up. I could feel a lightness in my chest, Billie was pissed, sure, but I could handle him, I just had to break through his insecurities about being left, which were fucking adorable thank you very much, and remind him who I chose.
I couldn't help but smile. "What? Are you gonna leave me for that asshole? I bet you are, you were too good for me anyway. What the fuck was I thinking, some fancy English chick would actually like me. Yeah right,"

I had crawled across the bed to where Billie was having his little fit. He wasn't even looking at me, staring furiously at the floor or at the decor in my room instead of me and blinking hard, his shoulders were squared off and I could tell he was waiting for the blow from me, for me to say it was over. I grabbed Billie by the collar of his leather jacket so the idiot would look at me. He did, but reluctantly, his eyes were clouded and screwed up where he was fighting to not let the tears overspill.
"I choose you," I whispered.
"What?" He said in that blunt way that I loved.
"I'm choosing you. I already had chosen you, over twatface Edmund and anyone else," I stated boldly.

Before I had time to finish my sentence a pair of burning lips were forced onto my own, Billie me to him with such intensity that it took my breath away. I had to shove him away for a second and remember how to breathe. I also pretended not to notice Billie roughly drag his sleeve across his eyes, before he had grabbed my hips and pulled me into him, crashing his mouth against mine properly. The kiss was filled with a new kind of fire, not the slow burn of love, or the erratic electrostatic of lust, but a powerful, overwhelming anger. I responded with equal pressure, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pressing myself into him as much as possible. Billie's hands dragged from my hips upwards, pressing his thumbs roughly into my collarbones and tracing my face before grabbing onto my hair, tugging meaningfully, his tongue pushing into my mouth in such an authoritative manner that my bones may as well have turned to jelly, and I was putty in his hands. Billie twisted and flicked his tongue in my mouth, I immediately let out a low whine and I could feel the smirk on his mouth grow, especially when his hands moved downwards and began to grope my bum. He squeezed me hard and I yelped a little, but let him wrap my legs around his waist and he pushed the both of us powerfully onto my bed.

Billie pulled away for a second, his lips were already swollen and shining and his shaggy jet black hair was thoroughly messed up, clean shaven cheeks flushed and his green eyes shone darkly, especially when they were lined heavily in black. Something seemed to pass between us in the eye contact, because simultaneously we had moved forwards to kiss, banging heads momentarily before fumbling for lips. I let out a groan of satisfaction and heard Billie cuss.

Billie was being quite rough with me, he wasn't hurting me, I knew he would never, but he was definitely stronger and more dominant than usual, and it was really turning me on, which was a little surprising. I just put it down to Jimmy rubbing off on me. Billie's hands were roaming all over my body, groping me with obvious pleasure. I was normally quite shy about the touching, but he was being so controlling and bold that I had no trouble with running my hands from his hair, down his neck which made him shiver and press a "Fuck," onto my neck and down his jacketed back, before around his waist, making no shyness when it came to moving my fingers lightly across the already obvious bulge in his skinnies which made him buck powerfully, something which always amused me about Billie. He came across so under control and shit when it came to sex until you actually touched him and then he turned into a teenage boy. I gasped as his lips slid off mine and trailed to my neck, fingers at the hem of my shirt.

Whatever Billie was on, I was loving it. He had thrown caution to the wind as he whipped my shirt over my head without even so much as pausing for my permission, staring greedily at my exposed top half and muttering curses under his breath before he began to lick at my collarbones, hands mauling at my bra. I shuddered a gasp and pushed his jacket off his shoulders, before pausing to pull off his shirt and t-shirt. Billie grinned at me wolfishly and kissed me hard, removing my bra without having to look. My back arched upwards involuntarily at the new skin contact between Billie and I, which only helped him. As soon as he'd tossed the article of clothing across the room he went back to my neck, his hands kneading my breasts, sending breathy moans wracking through my body. My limbs spasmed a little bit as I felt the first graze of Billie's teeth against a point on the base of my neck. Billie immediately bit down and began to suck, hard. It didn't really hurt, even when he began to nibble at the flesh as well, because combined with the feeling of his hands all over me, his hot breath and the skin-on-skin brushing of our torsos I was a mess.

He pulled away seconds later and I knew from the satisfaction on his face that there was a deep, purple mark there.
"You know what that says?" He growled, his voice hadn't dropped several octaves like it usually did, but instead had gained this thicker, husky texture to it, not dissimilar to when he sang, making goosebumps erupt over my shivering skin.
"That says you're fucking mine, my property and if anyone touches you, I swear to god," I was not about to deny it, the way Billie was talking to me right then was turning me on so much there was a demanding, throbbing heat between my legs that was pulsing outwards. I simply moaned in response, unable to do the words.

Billie's lips slid across me to a familiar point just above my left breast where he began to suck in another hickey, at the same time his fingers were fiddling effortlessly with the buttons on my jeans. My heart was thudding right under his lips as my hips shifted upwards, allowing him to shuffle my jeans down.
"That's mine,"
His lips moved down, so they were most definitely on my breast, and he began the same pattern as he pulled my jeans off my legs and threw them somewhere. His darkened eyes were glazed as he caught my gaze for a moment, something new was glittering in the green irises, threatening something dangerously thrilling.
"Mine,"

His hot lips dragged across my body until they came to land on my right breast,
"Mine," then back up to my throat,
"Mine," my neck,
"Mine," back down to my stomach,
"Mine," at the same time his fingers were glazing over me, as if he was trying to memorise me.
"Mine, mine, fucking mine," he growled looking back up to me. His already full lips were swollen and his hair was making shadows on his face and I was so in love with him.

I had my arms flung loosely around his back, my fingers tracing the small area of spine I could reach at the back of his neck, and I could feel his body quivering slightly. I looked down at the space between us, which wasn't much. All I had on was a pair of underwear, Billie still had his jeans on. I very slowly moved my gaze up from his hands that were resting on my hips, winding up his colourful arms and across his sculpted shoulders, before moving down his chest, taking in every tattoo that adorned his body as I moved down to his flat stomach, and narrow hips where the silver studded belt held the jeans up. There was now a very obvious protuberance that pointed up at me and was restricting his movement uncomfortably.

I reached down between us to take a hold of Billie's belt, but he growled and slammed his lips onto mine, making light work of his clothes as well. In seconds Billie was down to his boxers, and his lips had fallen off mine as his hands began to move again, nearly ripping my panties off in his haste.
"Fuuuck," I hissed the second his fingers made contact with me, and almost immediately Billie was saying the same thing. With very little effort he found the spot that made my body arch upwards involuntarily. Billie really wasn't messing around, his face was furrowed to a scowl as his movements were erratic and ferocious. The reaction he had on me was indescribable, my body was completely out of control, bucking and arching into his hand as I silently, well not really, begged him for more.

In no time at all my vision was starting to white out in the corners at the sheer waves of limitless pleasure, Billie's figure hovering above mine was shifting in and out of focus and a white scorch was blazing through me.
"Fuck," Billie growled and paused, leaving me panting and slightly pissed off at my almost-orgasm. I could hear him shuffling to remove his boxers and then he grabbed my hips, pushing into me immediately. I gasped loudly at the wonderful sensation and grabbed onto his shoulders, digging my nails in to steady myself.

"Shit," I gasped. Normally, Billie would stop to ask if I was alright, but his expression remained focused as he immediately began to move.
"Yeah?" He snarled "You fucking like that?" I'm pretty sure my whole body blushed at his remark, nobody had ever spoken to me like that in my life and I was completely taken aback. At exactly that point Billie, who's hips were bucking at an unusually high speed, hit that spot within me and I gave a small shriek, my hands instinctively dragging up and down his tensing back, I wasn't going to lie, Billie's slightly rougher and more dominant side was turning me on more than I thought. The flicker of a smirk told me that he knew my response meant yes, I liked it very much.

"You like it when I fuck you, huh?" He asked again in the same tone as he continued to assault my body in the best way possible. My jaw was slackened from the overwhelming sensation, but I managed to nod my head as I let out a weak groan. "I bet he didn't fuck you like this, did he?" Billie's pace changed again to one of complete power, moving deeper than he had ever before as if he was making a point.
"Huh? I bet Edmund couldn't make you feel this good," he growled "I bet Edmund couldn't make you moan like that. I bet Edmund couldn't make you cum like this," Billie continued on, his rant becoming a mantra as he built it up with his rhythm.
"I bet Edmund-" he snarled
"Stop it," I managed to force out, my break coming in significantly short bursts. "If you say his name again I'll get up and go," I threatened weakly, to which a devilish smirk filtered across Billie's flushed features and he made a few very swift movements. He knew I couldn't leave right then, but that wasn't the point.

The white heat seemed to come from nowhere, hitting me with the force of a freight train and exploding across my body, making every nerve crackle with sensation. My whole body stiffened and tensed, my nails dragging from where they were holding onto Billie's hips, up his back to his face where I crashed my mouth onto his to avoid screaming the street down. The blaze lasted longer than ever, my body spasming out of control, arching upwards into Billie and shaking at the force of the orgasm. Not to mention the added heat of Billie's own high as he rode out the pinnacle of the moment atop of me.

His patterned arms shook as he finished, quickly moving to the side as his body gave way, landing onto the bed beside me.
"Fuck," I breathed in between catching my breath for the umpteenth time that day. I managed to look over to where Billie was, his eyes were already beginning to flicker shut. He looked perfect, jet black hair a matted mess, eyes closed, lips parted ever so slightly as he recovered, his whole body was shining in sweat.

I pulled the quilt over the two of us, snuggling into his chest where his arm flopped around me. Pressing a kiss to his check I whispered,
"I love you," his arm tightened around me for a fraction of a second and he mumbled something that sounded like 'I love you, too,'.