Cheaters = Losers

I woke up before Billie and even still it was about 10am. I was facing the opposite wall to the way I fell asleep. I'd moved off his chest and he had pulled me incredibly close, his arms wrapped around me as if he was scared I'd leave, our legs entangled and his face was nuzzled into my shoulder, breath gently warming my back. Not that I needed it, his almost naked body provided more than enough heat. I tapped his hands lightly, not wanting to wake him and he grumbled something in his slumber before shifting slightly, releasing me. My phone was lying on the bedside table beside Billie's where I'd abandoned it after a last minute check. I grabbed it and shuffled back so I was sat up, allowing Billie to carry on sleeping. He looked so different like that. He'd taken off the eyeliner and his big eyes were lightly shut, the long lashes overlapping slightly, his face had lost any traces of strain and curled up like he was he looked so...vulnerable. Like he dropped the punk persona and all his insecurities were ruling, and to be honest it was insanely attractive.

There was a text from an unknown number, but I instantly recognised it as Josh's. He'd asked me if I was really leaving. I scowled and shot back a yes and decided to load up the tumblr app to occupy myself for a bit. My phone buzzed again in my hand
Do u need to come get sum more stuff? I scowled even harder (I scowled a lot) I didn't even want to talk to him.
Yes, I think so. I'm staying with a friend. They'll drop me off at some point today.
K ill let u in How did this not drive me mad? Talk about being blinded by love - his text talk was infuriating.
Gee, thanks.
Who is ur friend anyway? I snorted at my phone and deleted the conversation.

I was glad, at least, that I wasn't overly upset about the break up and I guess that was all thanks to Billie, because waking up next to the guy you've been obsessed with for years kind of beats a cheating scumbag, and I was so thankful for that. My last boyfriend had broken up with me for a boy (at least he had the fucking decency to tell me) which was fine except I was in the middle of university and with exam pressure added to it, it sort of sent me on this self-destructive spiral and I put my best friend through hell to get me out of it. At least if I was angry I could just make use of the negative energy and carry on.

I pulled up my camera roll, which was dominated by thousands of pictures of Josh. Now I was torn. I'd met him as a fan, and the first photos of us were fan-photos and the photography course I'd taken a while ago for fun had payed off as I'd used Josh as my muse a lot and I'd got some really attractive photos of him that my fan-self wanted to keep, as well as all the ones of us. The photos were horribly cliché, but they were of a key part in my life, I mean I moved to the other side of the world, it wasn't exactly as if I could just move on and forget he ever happened.

"Hello," A throaty voice greeted me as arms re-wrapped themselves around my waist and a head landed heavily on my shoulder. His hair was even messier and I could feel it tickling the side of my face as our cheeks brushed against each other. I could feel his steady heartbeat against my back, grounding me. "Hi there," I sighed back happily, a stray hand making its way into his hair to fiddle with the messy strands. He ground his chin into me ever so slightly in response, making me to arch my back into him subconsciously and I could feel a small noise in the back of his throat. His gaze was locked onto the phone in my lap, which I'd quickly turned off. "What are you doing?" He asked. I could feel the words reverberate in his chest and vibrate as he spoke, sending a shiver down my spine, especially as the cheeky bugger pressed his hot lips to the base of my neck and his hand came down to cup mine around the phone. I stammered out a response, more than a little bit distracted, eliciting a chuckle. I turned to face him,

"Thank you," he cocked his head adorably to the side, a tiny little frown wandering across his features.
"Why are you thanking me?" His arms tightened around my waist. "You sound like you're leaving," I smiled sadly and gently pushed his hands away.
"That's because I am, Billie. I can't thank you enough for letting me stay, but I have some things I need to be doing and I can't stay here. You're on tour, and I don't even know you." He scowled at me as I stood up and crossed the room to where my bag was, but he looked more upset than angry.
"I already said I'd take you to your ex's and y'know..." he tailed off and looked at me, one shoulder raised and an innocent smile fixed on in an unspoken question. Was he...? My eyes widened
"Billie, I can't,"
"Why not?" He'd jumped up and was in front of me, hands grasping my wrists. "Why not? I'll take you to his now and then we'll get you set up in here and you can come watch us play tonight and we go tomorrow." I stared at him.
"Are you mad? I can't just decide one day that I'm going on tour with Green Day."
"Why not? There's nothing for you here and I bet that's how you ended up here in the first place. Get out and see the world. And hey, if you don't like it y'know, I'll pay for your plane ticket to England and escort you home personally." I nodded slowly, his charming words worming their way into my heart with alarming ease. I couldn't believe myself. This was not me, running away with some green eyed beauty of a stranger. Me would go home and sort things out with Josh and get some financial stability and start again. But I was angry, and perhaps a little intrigued by Billie's offer and this was my favourite band of all time, this was the stuff I dreamt about.

"I'll think about it, okay? Let's just get the rest of my stuff first. Can I use your bathroom?" Billie grinned, clearly pleased that he'd got his own way, and engulfed me in a hug before letting me go,
"What's mine is yours, baby." He said with a wink that made my stomach churn. I must have gone pale or froze or something because Billie was by my side again, asking if I was okay.
"I'm sorry, this is so unusual for me. And please don't call me baby." Billie rubbed my back gently,
"Hey, it's fine. Now put on your sexiest clothes and lets go show that fucker what he's missing!"

He said with a laugh and wandered off, probably to tell Mike and Tre that I'd be staying with them for a while. I disappeared off into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My pale blonde hair was disheveled and the purple dip-dye had all but faded to a light silver that only caught in the light. There were bags under my eyes and they were rimmed red from crying, but they looked alive and happier than they had in a while. I didn't want to keep Billie waiting and as I'd showered last night, I decided to skip the shower. I did not wear what I'd call my 'sexiest' outfit, but instead of the usual ripped black skinny jeans I wore a pair of light wash high-waist shorts that I'd refused wear before I came to California because I thought they looked too slutty, but here everyone walked about in bikinis so I figured I was okay. I found my favourite crop top, it was vintage white with an American Idiot-like fist on it and has the words FED UP printed across my chest, where it highlighted my boobs nicely. I decided on my bright pink bra because I needed a pick me up and I was determined to draw as much of Josh's attention as I could to what he was missing. I never usually wore makeup but again I was on a look-at-what-you-could-have-had mission and I decided that a bit of mascara and some eyeliner wouldn't do any harm. That and I guess it wouldn't be best to be seen out with a guy who wears more makeup than you. I made my way to the door, grabbing my ancient Docs, they used to be bright raspberry in colour, but I'd had them for forever and they'd faded to a pale pink, the leather dull and soft and familiar and my over-sized army jacket to complete the look, and pottered through the other's rooms making sure to knock. Thankfully neither of them were in there. I got to the lounge area where they were sat with Billie Joe.

The heads of my three idols all turned to stare at me. I could feel my heart rate begin to race when they still stared a good thirty seconds later. Finally Tré let out a whistle than spoke, a smirk that I knew working its way onto his face, making me squirm.
"Damn, BJ. You really got something good last night." Billie, who had still been staring at me, opening and closing his mouth as if he was having trouble finding his words finally snapped out of his daze to smack Tré upside the head.
"It wasn't like that, perv."
"So she's still up for grabs?" His eyebrows raised and he looked at me hungrily. While I knew, or hoped, that he was only joking to piss off Billie it still made me uncomfortable and I finally shook off my star-struckness and found my voice.
"I'm right here, guys. I can hear everything you say." Tré just looked at me, a smile that said that's the point plastered across his face.

Mike was the first to stand up, advancing towards me. I began to wish that I'd put heels on instead because even though Billie was considered 'the short one' I made him look tall, so Mike's height over me was a little intimidating. He stuck his hand out to me with a wry smile.

"Hi, I'm Mike," I smiled back at him and took his hand. "Lily," He grinned at me.
"I'm sorry about our friend Tré. He gets like that around hot girls and I think Billie made the understatement of the century when he said you were, and I quote, 'Kinda pretty I guess', you surprised us all." Billie scowled at that point and stood up taking me gently by the waist, brining back that crackling electric feeling.
"Shall we go, then?" I smiled up at him and nodded.
"I thought you said it wasn't like that!?" Tré called indignantly and Billie gave him a smug little look.
"Just because I can keep it in my pants and be a gentleman," they weren't actually fighting, in fact they could hardly get their words out without laughing or collapsing into boyish shouts. Billie decided that we were actually going and I just caught Tré shouting something about it being nice meeting me.

He guided me to his car, a sporty BMW, I think. "I'm sorry they're such assholes," he said with a fond smile and he looked me up and down again before barking a funny little laugh, "Y'know when I said wear your sexiest outfit I didn't mean it literally," I saw him gulp slightly, and his knuckles flexed and tightened on the wheel. I took in what he was wearing for the first time. He had on black skinny's again, this time with rips in the knees and some black converse type shoes with a fitting black and red striped top and his black denim jacket with the trilogy crosses on it.

"Lily?" I looked up to find his eyes, once again with the black liner staring at me imploringly. "Oh, right. Erm well, I didn't actually and you can't really talk," I mumbled feeling the heat rush up to my cheeks. I heard him chuckle and felt the car start, so I focused on watching out the window. There was a reason I walked everywhere. Billie noticed.
"Are you alright?" I gave him a tight lipped smile.
"Fine, I mean I don't really want to go and see him but that's that so I might as well get on with it. Next left. Then right," I told him. He nodded and we arrived much sooner than I'd have liked to. Billie was at the door and holding it open for me, but it was the jolt that shot through me when he touched my elbow lightly that shook me from my trance of staring at the place I used to call home.

"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be," I could feel myself scowling and forced a more positive look on my face. Before I knew it Billie's lips were at my ear, gently nuzzling the sensitive tissue as he spoke, "I'm right here and I'll be there the second you need me. And, y'know, you look really great today," and with a final squeeze he retreated, leaving me to go to the door alone.

Steeling myself for the experience I knocked. And waited. And knocked. And waited. And found the key under the mat and let myself in. My pretend confidence flooded out of me faster than you could say platypus as the memories of the day before when I was in exactly the same position. My blood ran cold as I heard a grunt and a thump. I followed the noise down the hallway to our old room. I had no choice but to enter, even though my system was screaming to run and never look back because there was no mistaking that guttural moan that turned into a shout.

I pushed the door open to see the same scene as yesterday. A part of me wanted to curl up in Billie's arms and sob while blasting his albums, but I could feel a slow burning taking over me. At least I didn't fuck Billie knowing that Josh could be coming round at any time.

"Jesus Christ, you couldn't even wait for me to clear out."