Cheaters = Losers

I was knocked off my feet suddenly as a great force collided with my body.

At first I thought I had been hit by a cannonball, but I knew that cannonballs did not have arms and could not pick me up and spin me round. Neither did they have great masses of unruly black hair or smell like Billie Joe Armstrong. I gave a small shriek, but as soon as I felt Billie's hands on my hips, my legs came up to wrap around his narrow waist and I clung onto him as hard as he was clinging onto me. We span around for an eternity, or at least until a loud wolf whistle from Tré or Mike startled him into moving. He placed me down gently and I felt hot chapped lips press against my cheek as he moved away, hands still resting on my shoulders.

He looked so beautiful right then that it was actually annoying me. His eyes were the brightest I'd ever seen them, standing out even more so against the kohl liner that I had applied, his hair was half wet and matted to his forehead with sweat, sticking up in some places and flattened down in others from where sweaty palms had been shoved through it, his face was shining with sweat, red discolouring his cheeks, full lips were chapped and dry from singing, pulled back in the biggest smile, his crooked front teeth on full display. His top was two shades darker, drenched in sweat and his jeans clung to him, closer than usual and must have been so uncomfortable. The adrenaline high he was riding from the gig seemed to make his whole body glow and hum. I didn't understand how it was possible for someone to look so stunning and, let's be honest, fuckable in such an imperfect way.

Somewhere, deep down, I felt that unsatisfied ball from earlier begin to stir. No, I told myself, not now.

"You were amazing!" I told him, while trying not to freak out too much. My mind was in overdrive and even though I could feel my chest starting to crush down from being overwhelmed, I blatantly ignored it as I launched myself at Tré and Mike, hugging them as well in congratulations. "You all were! Mike when you did that thing!" I imitated on of Mike bass jumps, and failed, much to everyone's amusement "And Tré!!" I babbled on unable to control my excitement anymore. Tré and Mike were stood, watching me, vaguely amused and very smug while I deliberately left Billie out of the praise.

I wasn't lying about how much I adored Mike and Tré, but I was testing my waters with Billie, I was more than a little intrigued as to how keen he was for my attention. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him scowling and his mouth forming a pout at the neglect. I'd almost ran out of things to say, after having given a blow-by-blow account of the show to the ones who played it when Billie finally interrupted,
"What about me?" He was still pouting so I did the only thing my narrow, cloudy mind could do. I leant up and kissed the pout straight off his face. He caught my lips for a second, before quickly pulling away with a short smile.
"You were my favourite," I murmured in his ear, nipping at the soft lobe.

Billie Joe pulled away from me with a funny expression. He looked as if he was in pain. I tried not be hurt, to ignore the stinging pain of rejection. I tried to not make a big deal out of it. He pulled away. So what? Maybe he was embarrassed because Tré and Mike were watching. Maybe he had another problem, but I couldn't help be worried. That look. That was different. Something was wrong.

Tré's voice stopped my thoughts. "Lily? If you're done fantasising about me, we can go home." Billie punched him, hard. Harder than usual. Tré, being Tré bounced back with some comment about jealousy and skipped off, but I saw him wince and his expression changed for a second, allowing a flicker of shock and pain to cross his features at Billie's behaviour. I looked to Billie, who was looking anywhere but me and was taking a great interest in the carpet beneath our feet.
"Billie?" My voice was irritatingly weak and tentative.
"What?" His voice matched his scowl and I could feel myself wincing away from him.
"Did Tré just say home?"
"Yeah. We'll be home, at my house. Like I told you." I tried desperately to ignore the deep cuts in my chest that his harsh words caused, strikingly different from seconds ago when he was all over me.
"Right," I bowed my head and ducked out of the room, leaving Billie to stew in his impromptu bad mood, beginning to panic that I had taken my test too far and now he wanted nothing to do with me. Feeling slightly sick I made my way across the back car park alone to meet Mike and Tré on the bus.

The journey back to Oakland from where we were in LA was six hours. Which really didn't feel that long because we traveled through the night and Mike, Tré and I bummed about on the couch, laughing at shitty movies and giggling to ourselves. Mike told Billie to come and sit with us when he boarded the bus ten minutes after I did, but he simply shrugged and went straight to his room. Mike slung an arm around me and told me to leave him because "Sometimes he just gets in moods." I decided to relax and settle as we started our movie session with one of mine, Hot Fuzz: classic British comedy at its finest. Mike and Tré had never seen it before, which had shocked me because I had grown up on these movies. It didn't take long for them to get the crude British humour and soon enough they were cackling like Hyena's and demanded that I chose the rest of the films for the evening, which I had no trouble with at all.

The next thing I knew I was laid on the beach. The waves lapping at my toes, sand warming my body, a warm breeze on my face and the sun gently colouring my skin. Except somewhere in the subconscious depths of my mind I registered that the wind didn't usually have a slightly acidic taste or smell of pot and something else. Tentatively I opened one eye, to make sure that I was on still the beach and to tell the hippie staring at me to bugger off. So you can imagine my surprise when I was not greeted by sun, sea and sand, but instead by a pair of pale blue eyes, unnaturally wide and boring into my own in alarming close proximity.

I gave a strangled cry, my voice restricted with sleep and shoved the heavy body weakly off of me. Shaken and trying not to cry I stared at Tré who was laying on the floor where I'd pushed him, gasping for breath and laughing his ass off and Mike who was holding onto the couch for support as his booming laughter shook the small room.
"What the actual fuck, Tré?" I managed and in response he gave me a small hoot that was a cross between a giggle and crying from laughing too hard. "I hope you choke on your own spit," I scowled at him. At that he bounced up and bounded over to where I was stood recovering from the shock.

His arms were very strong and he lifted me with ease in one arm, pulling me into his broad chest. "I hate you," I mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, still groggy from sleep and unable to really do anything about Tré.
"No you don't," he sang.
"Yes I do," I grumbled back. "I was having a good dream. I want to go back to sleep." I whined, aware of how childish I sounded. The next thing I knew I had been unceremoniously dumped back onto the sofa. Tré danced away behind me, but his unique voice carried with ease -
"Ooo! Were you gettin' some with ol' Billie boy?" His face suddenly appeared in front of mine, upside down because he was hanging over the back of the settee, giving me a mini heart attack. I simply rolled my eyes as he pulled away cackling, I'd fast learnt that there was no arguing with Tré and once he had his thick skull set on an idea there was no changing his mind.

Mike sat beside me and watched Tré's antics with a chuckle. "Actually, Lil, we woke you up because we'll be arriving back in Oakland in fifteen minutes or so, so you have time to wash up and do whatever girls do before we get to Billie's," I sent him a smile.
"Thanks, Mike-"
"Don't I get thanks?" Tré was once again way over the personal bubble boundary as he leered in to join the conversation.
"No you bloody don't. I nearly had a heart attack because of you. Twice!" He cackled and pulled me into a one armed hug.
"You love me really," I laughed and playfully slapped him away and like some crazed Labrador he bounded off once again. I turned to Mike, who was also blinking sleepily.
"Mike, has Billie-?" I trailed off, unsure how to put what I was asking into words. I hardly knew Billie, I didn't understand him or his moods and I definitely didn't know how long he took to come out of one.
"No, he hasn't come out of his room," his lips thinned as he pressed them together in thought. "He'll come around. He always does. He's probably just disappointed that the tour's over, he never has liked living alone,"
"O-okay," I stumbled over my words, hesitating for a second, not wanting to interrupt Billie if he was still grumpy. I decided it would be safest to locate my Converse from where I had abandoned them by the door and then sit down.

The bus pulled up soon enough and Mike told me that it was Billie's house. "We have a little ritual, because Billie doesn't like being alone straight off," he explained. "We all go in and help him get settled back down. Anyway then we have a few celebratory end of tour drinks and then crash the night," I grinned and nodded, Mike and Tré had fast become some of my favourite company.

Billie appeared at that point, wearing baggy trousers and his blue and black striped top. His glasses were perched lopsidedly on his nose and his hair was scruffy and looked like he'd been running his hands through it a lot. He was carrying two of my boxes and shot me a large grin, he seemed back to normal.
"You ready?"
"Yeah," I said quietly, quickly darting back to get my backpack and the final box.

I followed Billie up the driveway to a house. According to me it was massive, but Billie said it was fairly average because he didn't like making a fuss. He had a huge lounge area downstairs that seemed to be the central hang out area, a dining room that looked like it had never been used and a big kitchen with a breakfast bar and sofa room attached and there was a door that led to the basement which was his music room. Out the back he had a pool and hot tub and a nice sized area of grass. Upstairs was Billie's room, two spare room, an office and what he called the den which was just an open area with a TV and sofa and what looked like an Xbox.

Billie stopped at one of the doors and balanced my two boxes on his hip.
"I thought you might like this one, it's a bit bigger and y'know," he shrugged before opening it and inviting me in. The bedroom I was stood in, my new room should I decide to stay, was spectacular. In the middle was a double bed with a black frame, white bedding and black pillows. There was a wardrobe that ran right along one side of the wall and looked like it could hold at least four times what I owned. There was a TV, something I'd never had in my room before with a small stack of DVDs piled next to it. There was a black dressing table with a matching stool and a big desk. Best of all I was face to face with an entire wall of bookshelves some full and half stacked with books and a huge black beanbag on a white sheepskin rug and one of those woven chairs that hung from the ceiling. These were all right by a large bay window that had a slection of black and white pillows scattered on it and a view of the sea. This room was perfect for me, minimalistic with a ton of good reading spots. I turned to Billie who was leaning in the doorway, having set my boxes down carefully and was watching my reacting carefully. I suppressed a squeal and ran into his arms.
"Oh my God! I love it!" I continued at a high pitch. I felt his chuckle as he carefully put me down.
"I thought you might like it, y'know," he paused and I watched as his iris' flickered upwards and began to move sideways across his eyes as if he was reading a list in his head.

"Oh! I forgot. My room is the door directly opposite and the bathroom is on the left of it. Don't worry you don't have to share a bathroom with me," I laughed gently and mumbled my thanks. Billie left me to unpack as Mike and Tré helped him move his things back home. It was quiet for a while and coming from a fairly large family I took the time to enjoy and relish the silence as I began to hang up my clothes.

It was only when I heard the telltale sing-song tone of Tré's teasing voice that my interest was taken away from the perfection of my new room.
"Dude, you're whipped!" I heard Tré giggle.
"I am not," I heard a rather indignant sounding Billie respond. What were they taking about?
"Yes, you are!" Tré's voice was becoming distant which meant that he had probably gone off dancing or whatever a wild Tré does. Mike became audible then.
"Actually man, I hate to admit it, but Tré's right. You do seem pretty taken with her."
"I am not taken with anyone!" Billie's voice was rising.
"Okay, so if you're not in love with her then why did you decide that she can stay here for as long as she wants and why did you give her your best room?" Something clicked in my head and my heart began to race. Me. They were talking about me.
"I can make a good impression without being in love, Mike."
"I'm not saying you're in love with her man, I'm just saying to stop denying that your feelings for her are stronger than you'd like to admit." My heart was thudding so loudly that it was all I could hear and for a second I nearly told it to shut up. My whole body froze, however, when I heard Billie clear his throat.
"I'm not in love with her and I don't have feelings for her either!" I felt my heart drop and a truly cold feeling begin to spread through me. So I was nothing to him? A casual fuck. We didn't even get that far.
"Beej, for as long as I've known you you've never been this...nice to a girl. Something's changed dude so why can't you just admit it?"
"Have you ever thought, Mike," Billie Joe spat his best friend's name. "That I'm just trying to be helpful?"
"That's bullshit, Bill and you and I both know it. Is it because of Adie? Are you scared to get hurt again? Are you seriously that blind that you can't see how different Lily is?" Adie? Did he mean Adrienne? Billie told me that there was never anything between them, but maybe there had been something. From what Mike said it sounded like Billie had been hurt. Badly.
"Fine! I'm scared! I'm scared shitless!" Billie sounded like a little kid
"Of what? Falling in love?"

"I am not falling in love!" Billie yelled.

"DENIAL!" Came Tré's reply. These idiots really weren't good at having private chats.