Sex and Donuts

After my little melt down I did feel better, although half my closet is now vacant of clothes. I'm sure Anna won't mind coming to get some more with me. But first, she needs to actually answer a text or pick up her phone. Ever since I had that little feminist outrage the other day after sleeping with Weldon, she hasn't really talked to me. She hasn't texted me nor has she visited me at work. It's not like her to suddenly not want to talk to me for no good reason.

My cell phone was next to my plate on the counter, I picked it up to check my messages for the millionth time. I'm so used to having somebody to talk to that now that I don't have the option I feel lonely. I turned to look at my empty front room, every time I see the missing couch as well as the missing plants and TV stand I think of the cursed Damion Scott. But this whole apartment reminds me of that cursed man, I need to get a new place.

I brushed the thought off of moving to focus on the more important things that matter. Like how I don't have any clothes in my closet and nobody to shop with! Is there some agency I can call that I can just hire somebody to hang out with me? That sounds too much like prostitution, but the good kind. My mind wandered back to Val, the person who told me to get rid of my clothes in the first place. I shouldn't have ever listened to her, I wish I could get my clothes back but they're already at the bottom of a donation bin in the Safeway parking lot.

Before I put my plate in the dishwasher I shove the last bite of scrambled egg into my mouth. I grab my red peacoat and throw it on with my brown book bag and head out. I guess I'll just have to go shopping by myself. I head down the elevator of the apartment building and then into the parking lot to my little 1999 Pontiac Grand AM. The side panel is missing on the drivers seat and one of my windshield wipers doesn't work too great, but it runs so it's usable. So I head out to the closest mall which is all the way into the heart of Spokane, Washington. Only 40 minute drive if the freeway is clear and Division isn't packed. I said Northtown Mall is the closest mall but I should correct myself, it's the closest mall that actually has clothing stores. The closer one is Silver Lake Mall which used to be young and hip until all the antique companies bought the spaces out from stores like Pac Sun and this really cool pet store I bought a lizard from. So now it's just a bunch of old people with too much time on their hands who want to buy an antique tea cup or whatever. Northtown has a 2 story Kohls and a Macy that actually sells MAC.

Enough about comparing malls, I have to drive a whole 40 minutes and pray it doesn't start raining because of my broken windshield. And what do you know, after listening to the same song on repeat for 50 minutes and a dry day later, I arrived at the mall. Thank god for the free parking garage because parallel parking and parking meters are a bitch to take care of.

It was like fate wanted me to keep running into her. I was barely three steps into the mall, right next to a Victoria's Secret when I saw Val, sitting on a bench by herself as she read receipts. Maybe it was my loneliness or perhaps it was that she looked kind of pathetic, I walked over to her. She looked up and smiled," do you remember me?" I asked her, gee that was a little frank.

"Of course I do Clem." she replied," are you here to buy new clothes?"

"I am, because thanks to you I went into a rampage and got rid of all my comfy clothes and underwear, so now I need to start fresh." I took a big breath to catch up.

"I'm really proud of you, did you come alone?" she asked as she looked around me to see if anybody was tagging along.

"Yes, my best friend hasn't talked to me since I slept with some guy I didn't know then gave a big speech on feminism about it."

"Good for you, how about we stick together?" she stood up and put the receipt away," I just left Macy's and I was on my way into Victoria's Secret, if you got rid of some of your underwear then let's get you some new sexy pairs that will really drive those men wild."

"That sounds amazing, thank you." the two of walked in and after 30 minutes in there I realized she was NOT kidding when she said sexy underwear. I never really went into the store before so I didn't know what to expect, but when I looked at my shopping bag after paying I realized everything was lace and half of them were thongs.

"You need to learn to work with what you have, luckily you have very nice hips and a pretty face." she gave me a quick look of what I was wearing," I'm liking the bold mustard pants and they go well with your brown oxfords but the black v-neck is a little blah, you need to wear more blouses." she started pulling me towards Kohl's," they're just as easy to put on as t-shirts but look like you put in an effort."

"Oh great." I said with less enthusiasm. Some big black woman is going to do the stereotypical thing and show me how to dress and do my makeup. I pondered for a moment to think how nice that actually sounds, I need all the help I can get. It's a miracle that I got one guy to sleep with me, but I already know that if she helps me out he won't be the last. My vagina won't gather cob webs from lack of use. It will be trimmed and clean and presentable along with my new skivvies.

Val tore me from store to store for about 3 hours, we got something to eat in the middle but kept going and ate as we walked. I don't want to act like I didn't enjoy it, I did, she felt like such a friend to me today and even with her sass she was right. When she left she gave me her number to keep in my phone and told me to call her sometime so she can teach me how to style my hair and maybe just hang out.

I walked back into Victoria's Secret to get a last look at some of the bras, I got plenty of underwear but I feel like I need at least one or two lacy, racy, sexy bras to go with. At the end, I walked out with two black lace bras that made it look like I actually have boobs, it was a nice change.