Fireproof

I heard voices as I started coming back to life, voices I couldn’t quite recognize. There was something extremely cold against the side of my head and the amount of pain I was in almost rivaled that of the day I took the plunge into the river in a tour bus. I stirred a little bit, still not wanting to open my eyes, and I immediately regretted moving. My body was on fire and I think right now I would have much rathered death then this.

“She’s waking up. Get Criss.” A very familiar voice said.

I forced my eyes open to try and figure out where I was and who was talking and the first thing that I realized was that I was not in the hospital. I was still in my nasty clothes, laying in a bed and someone was holding a bag of ice against the side of my face which I remembered I had cracked on the concrete trying to pull the plane. I looked up and laid eyes on the very last person I had expected to see, but I was sure glad to see him.

“Nikki?”

“Hey. How do you feel?”

“Like complete shit. Where am i?” I asked, as I sat up very slowly.

“In the back of my bus.”

I looked at him, confused. “Your bus? I’m confused.”

“You’re a lot of things right now, Park. You need to be at the hospital but Criss said you would kill us all. Him and Pete started an IV while you were out and you’re getting fluids. We heard about what happened on the news and I couldn’t sit in California not knowing if you were okay or if we could help. So we stocked up the buses and headed out this way. We ran into Criss and Pete on the edge of town and they said they were headed here to check on you so we followed. I’m really sorry about your face. We were going to help with the plane and it sort of be a surprise but it wasn’t supposed to go like that.”

I smiled a little. “Is it that bad that you were sitting there holding ice on my face?”

He chuckled as he looked at my face. “Yeah, it’s pretty bad. You have a pretty good knot and we weren’t sure if you had passed out from hitting the concrete or from exhaustion. Probably both.”

“Fuck my life. There’s no telling.”

“Hey there ironman – whoa, your face looks like shit!” Criss said as he walked to the back of the bus followed by Tommy who was holding a very alert Blaze. My eyes teared up seeing him and seeing that he was fine after everything that had happened.

“Can I have him, Tommy? Please?” I asked, trying to fight back my tears.

“Absolutely, babe. “ He said, laying the squirming bundle of blankets in my arms.

“Parker, you have two choices. You can either go get checked out at the hospital or you let me look you over and get you cleaned up good and you promise to do nothing for the next few days. I’m not kidding you. You’re going to kill yourself. So what’s it going to be?” Criss said

“I can’t fight it anymore, Criss. I’m tired and burned out. There’s no need for me to take up space at the hospital so you can do whatever. I have no fight left in me.”

“Alright. Give Blaze back to Tommy and you can have him back after you get a shower and settled. Guys, give us a little bit please.”

I reluctantly handed Blaze back to Tommy who was playing dad for the time being and the guys left me and Criss alone. He helped me undress down to my underclothes and I got a hot shower thanks to the bus being equipped with a small bathroom. I still felt like complete shit after the shower though and every inch of my body was burning from either muscle aches or cuts and scratches. Criss handed me a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt to put on and then proceeded to take care of the many cuts on my arms and lower legs, some worse than others. He gave me one more bag of fluids to carry around with me and I was finally settled.

“Vince, Mick, and Pete are outside cooking. Go get something to eat.” Criss said.

“Thanks, Criss. You’re a good brother.”

“Somebody’s got to look after your crazy ass.” He smiled.

“Well I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.”

“Bullshit. I’ll just do it until that person decides to share his feelings.”

“Shit, Criss. He doesn’t like me. Get that out of your head. I can’t deal tonight.”

I made my way slowly and painfully outside and grabbed a grilled burger that was ready. It smelled great as I walked with it over to the Black Eagle which was still sitting out on the taxiway, blending in with the dark of the night. I somehow managed to get myself up on the wing and that’s where I decided to hang out for the time being.

“You alright there, killer?” Tommy asked

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just another shit day in the life of me lately. So uh, you seem to be pretty good at the dad stuff.” I smiled as he looked down at Blaze who was now asleep in his arms.

“Uncle T-lee is getting attached, but I think he wants his mom.”

“Thank you for what you guys have done. You didn’t have to come out here. You guys are busy and trying to get back on track. But I’m sure glad to see you.” I said taking Blaze from him.

“We weren’t doing much of anything else. Besides, this is starting to become our second home. We had to come help out.”

“How ya holding up?” Nikki asked as he walked around the nose of the plane.

“I guess okay. Very tired and sore.”

Nikki made his way up on the wing beside me as Tommy smirked and quietly left the two of us alone. I was getting tired of me being the only one that saw that Nikki had no feelings for me. I wanted everyone else to see that too and stop with the smirks and little comments. I didn’t know how to say that though without being rude.

“Criss said you’ve had a bad week. Anything you want to talk about?” Nikki asked as he leaned up against the body of the airplane.

I shrugged. “I mean, it’s just been a rough week. Call after call and every person I’ve touched trying to rescue has died and now all of this shit. Just when I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel it turns out to be a train and I don’t know. I’ve just sucked at life this week. “

“I know you don’t want to hear this, Parker, because I’m just like you, but you can’t always be the hero. You’re human and you bleed just like every other human. There’s only so much you can take before you break and sometimes you just have to break and let someone save you for a change.”

The tears that I had been fighting back slowly started to roll down my face, burning the fresh cuts from the concrete’s attack on me. What Nikki said was definitely true, if only I had that person to save me. And Criss didn’t count as that person.

“Hey, come here.”

Nikki pulled me gently so that I was resting between his legs and resting against his chest. I didn’t even care that he was being confusing again and sending mixed signals, I was just tired of life at that moment and wanted to get away and his arms seemed like the perfect place to escape to. He took Blaze from my arms and laid him gently against our legs. I rested against his strong upper body and let my tears fall freely.

“You’re amazing, Parker and no number of bad days will ever change that. No matter how many people you save or lose, what matters is that you risk your life trying to save them which is more than a lot of us would ever do. As far as what’s happened the last few days, I don’t have the answer for that but this too is something that you will bounce back from. You just have to keep your head up and grind on.”

“What’s the point now? I have nothing. Everything that I had left of my dad is now scattered from here to who knows where. There’s honestly no point.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look off into the night as if he was thinking. He kept his gaze looking straight ahead at where my house used to be.

“There is a point. You have a guy who is madly in love with you and would do anything to make sure you had the world if you wanted it.”

“Who? Criss? I would never date him. He’s my best friend.”

Nikki chuckled. “I’m not talking about Criss, Parker. I’m talking about me.”

What the hell had he just said? Had he just said that he loved me? No. No way. I was definitely concussed from my fall this afternoon. But I know I had heard him right. Or had I? I turned to look at him hoping that his face would give me some kind of a signal.

“I’ve been confused about my feelings for you and whether it was right for me and if it would work with you. I didn’t want to put myself nor you in a situation to get anyone’s heart broken. And who knows, it may still end up that way, but how would I ever know if I don’t take this chance? I just know that I haven’t stopped thinking about you over the last few months and you are such a one of a kind girl, a girl that doesn’t come around very often at all. I want to be the one that you come home to when you have a bad day like you’ve had or the one you call to talk to if I’m on the road. I want to give you the love and support that you deserve but never expect. I know you’ve had a lot going on and may not even want to think about a relationship right now, but I want a chance to show you that you are something special. If you’re willing to take that chance and when you’re willing to take that chance, I’ll be waiting.”

Well, I’ll be damned. I guess Criss had been right after all.

“You know, that day at the airport before Vince and me got into the plane and Tommy told you to kiss me and tell me to come home safe, the fact that you kissed me just because you were a gentleman really sucked.”

“Yeah, I picked up on that, but you disappeared after that. And then I lost my nerve to say anything because I figured I had wasted that chance. My offer for you to come to California was the best I could come up with. Tommy can be a dick like that putting me on the spot. But I would be more than happy to make up for it when you feel better.”

“How about you make up for it now to make me feel better?”

He smiled and gently tilted my head back and to the side and leaned down until our lips met. It was a simple but much deeper kiss than that day at the airport and I could feel so much from it. My heart sunk a little bit when he broke away from me, but I knew he was wanting to take it slow and if I wasn’t mistaken he had just confessed he wanted to be with me which meant I could get more of those kisses whenever I pleased now.

He wiped the few lingering tears from my eyes and pulled me back against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. I felt safe from the world and felt better emotionally than I had felt in several days now. I was still no where near perfect but I knew I would be stupid not to give Nikki his chance. He, himself was a very rare genuine guy that I would be stupid to pass up on.

“I want to be with you too, Nikki.”

“Okay.” He said. I couldn’t see his face, but the smile was very evident in his voice.

“Oh my god! It’s about fucking time!” Tommy yelled as he came running around the airplane. “Me and Criss were right!”

“Yeah, yeah. Get over yourself.” I smiled, tossing my empty water bottle at him.

“Hey, not around the baby.” Nikki said.

“Come on! Can’t I at least get a ‘you were right, Tommy’?”

“You were right.” Nikki and I said together.

“I know! Thank you!”

I shook my head as Tommy walked off and joined the guys back by the bus and they all gave a loud cheer, no doubt over the news that Nikki and I were now a thing. I guess guys would be guys.

“I’m super tired. Am I crashing in your bus tonight?” I asked Nikki.

“Yeah. I’m going to crash with Mick so you can get some peace and quiet. And you should probably put some more ice on your face.”

“I think you were doing a pretty good job earlier if you want the job back for the night.”

“Yeah? I can do that if you want.”

He held Blaze and helped me off of the wing of the plane and we went to say goodnight to everyone. I laid down with Blaze beside me and Nikki laid down on the other side of me, a bag of ice ready for my face. He wrapped his arm around me tightly and planted a small kiss on my neck as I drifted off to sleep. A little piece of my world gone to shit had just been righted again.