You Loved Me Once

“Do you want me to get you anything?” Lionel posed as he led Alba into his living room, helping her to settle down on the couch. It had been quiet, from the moment that Alba had let him know that they were expecting, Lionel doubted that he had said a word, but he was merely trying to find the right thing to say. It was sudden, since they’d first slept together after their reconciliation, he had ensured that they had been careful, and the news that they were expecting had knocked him for six, something he could tell was the same for Alba. She had been quiet, even for her, and Lionel didn’t want to push her. He wanted her to talk to him.

“I can manage by myself” Alba countered, shaking her head slightly.

“I was only trying to help” Lionel mused “Your doctor did say that your blood pressure was a little high and I am trying to help you be calm” he added.

Alba nodded. “I know you are, but I would rather you didn’t. You coddling me will not help” she insisted softly.

Lionel offered her a slight look before he nodded, taking the seat beside her. “Do you want to talk about it?” he posed as he tilted his head back, his dark eyes scanning the ceiling above him.

“About what?” Alba posed.

Lionel scoffed a little. “How about the pretty life changing news we just got?” he posed, his tone more than a little sarcastic.

Alba sighed a little before she shook her head. “I am not going to expect anything of you” she murmured.

“You’re going to go through with it?” Lionel posed, turning to look at her.

Alba nodded. “It’s not the best timing” she murmured “But I know that this is something I want and I am not going to spurn the chance. You can be as involved as you want, I am not expecting you to just…”

“Why do you think that I wouldn’t want to be with you, Alba?” Lionel interrupted “We’re still a couple, that’s my baby, why wouldn’t I be here?” he posed.

“Are we still a couple?” Alba countered.

Lionel frowned. “Why wouldn’t we be?” he posed softly “Alba, just because we had a small moment, doesn’t mean that I just want to give up on us, especially not now” he insisted as he stretched his hand out, carefully resting it against the front of the shirt she wore.

Alba watched his hand for a moment before she sighed. “How am I supposed to believe you, Leo?” she murmured, her blue eyes peeking up at him “I believed you last time you said that this was what you wanted and look what that got me. How am I supposed to be sure that you won’t do it again?” she posed.

“You can’t be” Lionel replied.

“Then what are we…” Alba’s words trailed off as Lionel leant over, kissing her softly. Alba hesitated for a second before she gave in, her fingertips weaving into his hair in an attempt to pull him closer.

“You can’t be sure, Alba” Lionel muttered as he pulled away from her, his forehead resting against hers “But you have to trust me, otherwise, this will fall apart again and I don’t think either of us really wants that, even less so now” he murmured, his fingertips skimming over the front of her shirt “Alba, last time…it was the biggest mistake I’ve made. I left behind my girlfriend, my best friend, and for no good reason, but I am older now, perhaps a little wiser, and you need to trust me. This is what I want, you, me and baby” he added with a soft smile.

Alba offered him a slightly wary look.

“You really think I would walk away from our child?” he posed softly “That I wouldn’t want to be there to hear the thump of their heart or their first cries? Alba, the timing is not perfect, in an ideal world, this wouldn’t have happened for a while yet, but as it is, I’m going to be here, right beside you” he insisted with a warm grin.

“Even if I opted to end our relationship?” Alba posed, shifting a little in her seat.

Lionel stiffened a little, but nodded his head. “I’m with you” he insisted “Even if you do decide that you can’t be in this relationship anymore, I want to be involved with this” he mused, his eyes peeking down at his hand which sat on her stomach.

Alba nodded her head, her blue eyes watching his thumb which brushed over the front of her shirt.

“Alba?” Lionel posed after a moment of quiet.

“Hm?” she posed.

“Are you still with me?” he posed gently, his dark eyes peeking up at her face.

Alba stared at him for a moment, not missing the pained expression on his face, before she nodded, the slightest of smiles pulling at the corner of her mouth.

“Is that a yes?” Lionel posed softly.

“I still don’t want to run into this, Leo” Alba mused “Six months is still not a lot of time and I don’t want you thinking just because of this pregnancy, that I want to speed things along. I need to learn to put my faith in you” she explained softly.

Lionel nodded. “I don’t want to put a rush on you” he insisted “You can take all the time you need to get to a point where you feel comfortable with me, but you have to know that I am not messing around this time, Alba. You and me is what I want, and baby too” he fussed with a small smile playing on his face.

Alba admired his grin, not missing the way his dark eyes lit up at the mention of her pregnancy. “You’re really excited, aren’t you?” she posed, messing with his hand.

Lionel nodded. “I was earlier when you told me” he admitted gently “But I didn’t want you to feel any sort of pressure. This decision is yours, Alba, not mine, and I want you to make it yourself” he insisted.

Alba studied his face for a moment before she offered him a small nod, the slightest of smiles pulling at the corner of her mouth. “We’re going to have a baby, Leo” she admitted gently.

Lionel nodded. “Yes, we are” he enthused, a grin spreading across his face as he reached out, pulling her into a soft hug.

Alba giggled a little and held onto him, a smile playing on her lips. She was under no illusions, her being pregnant was bound to complicate their relationship that little bit more, but she did want to try. She loved him, even despite their complex past, she still adored him and she wanted to make a go of it, even if it wasn’t going to work out. She wanted to be able to say that she had given it her all.