Getting Surreal

Becks was excited.

She was real excited.

Because of the location or idea or whatever the hell (she really hadn’t paid too much attention when Gerard was explaining it to her), the guys were essentially on radio silence while they recorded the record. It wasn’t that they were going to be trapped in the place they were staying, but they’d been warned that cell service and internet would be complete shit, and they all agreed that taking regular trips off-campus to make phone calls and whatnot would be counterproductive to the reason why they were all there.

Becks could understand that, she really could. But understanding it didn’t take away the frustration or longing that she felt not being able to talk to Mikey whenever she felt she needed to or wanted to. She hadn’t even known the guys for a year, but it felt like there was a massive chunk of her gone without them around all the time.

They’d been gone for two months. In that time, she’d gotten a job bartending and joined a band.

And she really couldn’t fucking wait to tell Mikey everything that would be going on, and to listen to him and all the cute little inflections of his voice while he told her (excitedly) all about how the new record was coming.

Which brought her back to why she was so excited. Having known the lack of outside connection where they were staying, the guys had scheduled a few off-location trips so they could contact friends and family and just get away. Today was one of the days set aside for this and she found herself in a great mood all day, just waiting for Mikey’s call.

She’d woken up early out of her excitement, but she really didn’t seem to mind. She’d managed to clean the house and run all the errands without her mood ever fading, and now she was just sat in her and Frank’s living room, trying to find something on tv to distract her while she waited.

Finally, around quarter after eight at night, her phone lit up and started buzzing in her hand. Becks jumped in surprise then looked around quickly, as if to check anybody saw that, and then stared at the phone.

‘Mikeyway’ it said.

Too excited to even care that she obviously looked like she had been waiting, phone in hand, for the call, flipped the phone open and brought it to her ear.

“Hello?” She said in greeting, mentally high-fiving herself for sounding remotely smooth.

“What, were you waiting for a call or something?” Mikey’s voice came back to her in jest and Becks couldn’t help the smile that felt like it might split her face in half or the butterflies in her stomach. God, just hearing his voice seemed to make the world a much better place.

“Ya know,” she responded, adopting his tone of deadpan sarcasm, “I was really just hoping Frank might call me today.”

She heard a happy shout in the background and Mikey mumbling something away from the phone that sounded a lot like ‘fuck off’ and knew that Frank had overheard her.

“That’s how you wanna play it?” Mikey asked her, speaking into the phone again. “We haven’t talked for over a week and that’s how you wanna play it?”

“Well, I’m sorry, baby.” Becks drawled, trying her best to keep down her giggles. God, she missed him so much. “I just couldn’t resist. Tell Frank I say hi?”

She could hear him sigh then repeat her words to their friend, hearing him clearly shout back a greeting to her and she couldn’t help but laugh, now. Frank was clearly in a good mood.

“He says he’ll call you later after I fall asleep or something. Trying to make it sound like the two of you are sneaking around behind my back.”

His words and tone may have sounded slightly paranoid, but Becks knew that he was joking one hundred percent. But, just in case there was some worry in there, she decided to kill that off immediately.

“If I were sneaking around your back, it would be to plan a nice surprise for you.” She could hear him breathe out a laugh and she smiled before dropping her voice a little and taking on the most heartfelt tone she could muster. “You’re the only man I ever want, Mikeyway.”

There was a long pause, and Becks sat there, patiently waiting for her boyfriend’s response, staring blankly at the screen door that went to Frank’s backyard.

Finally, she heard some rustling on the other end of the line, then Mikey’s voice was filling her senses again, sounding choked and quiet. “I love you so much, Becks.”

She sat up straight at the tone of his voice and felt her chest tightening up.

“I love you, too. Mikey, are you okay?” She asked, feeling a sense of what could almost be considered dread sinking in her stomach. She could hear him sniffle a little.

“I, uh….” He cleared his throat and sniffed again. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.”

And there went Becks’ heart. Her brow was furrowed, and her breathing stuttered a little as Mikey went on.

“I just want to come home.” He was whispering now, and Becks could hear and practically feel the terror in his voice, causing her to draw her knees up to her chin and she tried to think of anything she could do to make him feel better while simultaneously cursing the distance between them. “Please.”

His voice cracked on the word and Becks idly felt a tear stream down her cheek, hearing him plead. This wasn’t her Mikey. This wasn’t right. This was the farthest thing from right and she just wanted to be there with him right now, helping him make things better.

“Mikey.” She was whispering now, too, and feeling like her heart was wrenched into a thousand pieces. Swallowing the lump in her throat and trying to sound strong for him, for the both of them, she continued. “Baby. What… just talk to me, okay? Just….” She let out a small sigh. “Do you want to talk? I could just listen, or….” She knew it was tricky to work with somebody depressed, and just wanted to be there for him, any way she could without forcing him into something. She could hear him just breathing and sniffling on the other end of the line.

“I don’t know,” he finally admitted, and she nodded even though he couldn’t see her. “I just… it’s not right.”

“What’s not right, baby?”

“This. I…I don’t know.” He let out a harsh sigh and Becks could tell he was frustrated. “I just…. Don’t think I can stay here much longer.”

Becks’ heart froze for a moment.

“Mikey…. What does that mean?” Now, she was getting scared. “Stay at the mansion?”

There was a silence, and she didn’t like it. Not one bit. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, though she wouldn’t have been able to exactly explain what she was feeling.

“I don’t know.” He said after what felt like an eternity.

“It’s just not right.” He was talking in circles, but they both decided to ignore that. “I, um…. Becks?”

“Yeah, baby? I’m here.” She was biting on her nails, now.

Mikey sniffled, and when he spoke, he sounded like a broken man, alone and terrified. “I…I think I’m losing my mind here.”

They both fell silent. Mikey waiting for her to speak, and Becks trying to find the best words.

Finally, she spoke, and if she wasn’t so focused in on him and trying to be with him in the moment, she would have been amazed at the strength and calm in her voice.

“Mikey, listen to me.” She said. “Are you listening?” He let out a noise of confirmation and she nodded again. “I know you and I love you. I love you, okay?” Another noise of confirmation let her know he was listening well to what she was saying. “You are the strongest, bravest man- no, don’t-“ he tried to interrupt her with an argument at her words. “Just listen.” He fell silent again and she continued,

“I don’t know exactly what you’re feeling out there, baby. I don’t, but I wish I could take some of your pain. But whatever is going on out there? Just know that I believe in you. Whatever is going on and whatever you are doing, I want you to remember that I am here waiting for you back home. Whatever you have to do to make it home to me, I will wait for you and I will accept you, no matter what. Okay?”

He let out a small mumble that sounded like he was with her on this.

“I love you.” She felt like she couldn’t possibly say it enough.

“I just want it to be over,” he whispered.

“You’re almost there, baby.” She whispered back. He sighed and sniffled for a moment.

“Um. Can we-can we talk about something else?” He asked and Becks let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

“Of course. Whaddya wanna talk about?”

“Tell me about everything back home?"

Becks warmed a little, feeling bolstered by this. “Well,” she said, “I might have joined a band while you were away.”

She heard Mikey swear under his breath. “Really?” He asked. She nodded before she realized that he couldn’t hear that.
“Yeah, I did. Ray gave me some guys to contact and, um…I guess I figured it was time to make that jump.”

“God, I’m so proud of you.” And she could hear it in his voice. They’d had a few conversations about her joining a band before he’d left, and he knew that she had some serious nerves and reservations about going out on a limb to play again. Given the scary and devastating conversation they’d just had, here he was, thinking fondly of her, and she felt her cheeks flush a little, unable to believe the wonderful man she got to call her own. “That’s amazing. I, uh. I wish I could be there for you for that.”

Becks’ heart stopped again, hoping that it wasn’t him feeling depressed again.

“Well, you will be, soon.” She said softly, hoping to build him up a little. “Anyways, we won’t be playing out for a little bit, so you’ll definitely be here for the first show. I mean, if you’d wanna see a small, crappy, smalltown band play now that you’re a big rockstar and all.”

Mikey let out a small chuckle, and it was the best thing she’d ever heard in her life.

“Well,” he countered, “I hear rumors that the guitar player is pretty fuckin’ hot, so I guess I’ll give them a go.”

Becks snorted. “Oh yeah? And where do you hear those rumors, bigshot?”

“Oh, around town. So have you seen her? What’s she look like?”

Becks rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress her laugh, so happy to hear him flirt like a dick with her.

“I mean, I’ve only heard she’s okay looking. But I’ve heard she’s kinda lanky and tall for a girl.”

“I could be into that,” Mikey said.

“Dirty blonde hair she just can’t seem to tame.”

An appreciative hum on the other end of the line, then,

“Eyes?”

She smiled, know that her eyes were his favorite feature of hers.

“And, I mean, I hear that she has these eyes that nobody really knows the color of, but they’re pretty okay, I guess.”

“Fuck,” Mikey said. “She sounds like the hottest girl in the world.”

“Oh, does she?” Becks laughed.

“Fuck yeah. And she plays guitar? Shit. Her boyfriend must be the luckiest guy out there.”

“Oh, stop. You’re making me blush.” She flirted, feeling lighthearted once more.

“Wait, we were talking about you?”

“Oh!” Becks cried. “You dick!”

Mikey laughed again. A good, strong laugh that had Becks going, too.

“I love you, baby.” Becks said again, once she’d calmed down enough to speak clearly.

“I love you, too, Chelsea Beck.”

And Becks felt her heart flutter wildly in her chest at him using her real name. It was so simple, and yet it had such a profound effect on her.

“So, tell me more,” Mikey prompted, and Becks started regaling him with anything and everything that popped into her mind, happy to be hearing his voice and his input on it all as they talked for another couple of hours.

---

After Becks got off the phone with Mikey, she laid in bed, letting the conversations roll back through her memory, feeling some mixed emotions. The day had definitely not turned out the way she expected.

She was nervous about him, that was for sure. She’d never heard him so down, and it really worried her. But then he seemed fine and would chit-chat and flirt with her like no big deal, which always left her spirits soaring. She wasn’t sure what was going on with him.

She fell asleep that night, wishing she was there with him, cuddled up to her pillow, imagining it was Mikey’s scrawny chest.