Every Once in a While

It was once I was in my room that I had actually realized the severity of what had happened. I could go and tell General Organa right now, or anyone for that matter. I was sure the situation wouldn't be taken lightly. It's what I should have done but I didn't. If I did, that would mean that it had actually happened. I was embarrassed even if I hadn't done anything wrong, I didn't know how I would even begin to explain what had happened between Noa and I.

I sat up, scooting to the edge of my bed. I unlaced my boots and kicked them off. I shrugged my jacket off and threw it onto my desk chair. I reluctantly pulled my shirt over my head. I stretched my arms out in front of me, I inspected both arms intently. I was hoping I wouldn't find any type of mark, but the odds weren't in my favor. It wasn't only one mark either. The small prints around the skin of my elbows weren't as prominent as the bigger marks that decorated my upper arms. My upper arms were red and splotchy. I was hoping that I wouldn't wake up tomorrow with ugly bruises. I lied back down, rubbing a hand over my face.

I should have punched him, I should have done way more than I had actually done. There was no way I was going to be able to see Noa at work tomorrow, I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep calm around him. I was so angry, mostly at Noa, but also at myself. I almost wanted to walk back to the med bay and punch him straight on the nose. I would have to take a day off work, I was just hoping a day would suffice. I wouldn't be able to avoid Noa forever, even if I wanted to. I was hoping he would stay away from me, I didn't even want him to talk to me. God, I didn't even want to see him again.

My plan was to stay in my room for the remainder of the day. I was still expecting someone to come looking for me and force me to go back to work. No one ever came, and I was absolutely grateful. Jules had came over for a bit. I had already put my long sleeved shirt back on, there was no way she would be able to tell.

"Poe said he talked to you." I told her, smiling brightly. If there was one person who could take my mind off things, it had to be Jules. She came bearing snacks and warm drinks.

"He told you?!" She exclaimed, "I love it, I love when everyone comes to me to talk about their relationships." She sat up straight, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder fancily.

"He did." I nodded, taking a sip of the hot tea. "He asked me, too."

Jules' eyes widened and so did her smile. She clapped her hands together loudly, she let out small squeal. "Oh!" She reached over to grip my shoulder and shake me softly. I tried not to wince. "He listened!"

"He did." I laughed, "So, thanks for that."

"Can't believe my best friend is dating The Commander" She nudged me slightly.

"I don't think I believe it either." I would spare the details of what took place after Poe had asked me. Jules might explode. We also didn't have enough time. Jules was never judgmental but I wasn't sure how she would react if I told her I had almost slept with Poe, and we hadn't even been going out for an hour. When Jules stood up and gathered her belongings, I wondered if I should tell her what had happened earlier. Jules was my closest friend and I practically told her everything, but I couldn't tell her this. I didn't know how.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, definitely.

The hours went by slowly, I was sitting around staring at the clock on my nightstand. I tried to distract myself but nothing was working. I cooked, which I rarely ever did. I ate at the kitchen counter slowly, trying to kill time. I tried to read, if you consider staring at the same page for 10 minutes reading. I ran myself a warm bath, I dimmed the lights in the bathroom. Creating a serene environment.

The marks on my upper arms weren't red anymore, they had turned purple. It wasn't so bad on the front of my arms, just a small mark. It was the back of my arms that looked bad, each of Noa's fingerprints had left four very wide bruises. I was taken a back at the thought that he had grabbed me so roughly that he had left bruises. I lifted my left hand out the water, moving my wrist slowly.

He spared my wrist, lucky me.

No visible mark, but it ached slightly. I had stayed in the bathtub up until the water had turned cold. I slipped into warm pj bottoms and a white tank top. I searched my freezer for any frozen packets, I was hoping that it would at least ease up the soreness I felt in my arms.

I lied in bed, alternating hands so that each arm had an ice packet pressed to it. It was finally dark out, it was about the time I would drift off. Not tonight though, I was trying to think of a good enough excuse, one that would get me a day off of work. I had only come up with being sick with some type of stomach flu, that I couldn't go into work, unless they wanted me to throw up on everything. I laughed slightly, feeling a bit silly with having to come up with a lie. The lie would have to do, there was no way I was going into work tomorrow morning. I snuggled into my bed, happy at the thought of being able to sleep in.

I woke up in the middle of the night, with a strong urge to pee. I stumbled into the bathroom with squinting eyes. I was washing my hands when I took a peek out of the small window. I thought I had seen movement, and I was right. Who was out this late? I had went to peek out my door, I blamed my nosiness on being half asleep. It sounded as if someone had landed on the hangar. It wasn't long 'til I saw the fairly large space craft speed by overhead. I couldn't see the port from my room, but I was curious as to why someone had landed so late at night. I slipped on some shoes and grabbed a cardigan. I walked slowly, making sure no one would be able to see me. I could see Jules and the rest of her squadron.

Don't go over there.

I was about to turn around and head back, but then I spotted Poe. He was walking along side General Organa. I might have been too far to be certain, but he looked injured.

"Ms. Malek, come along." I jumped at the sound of the robotic voice. I guess I hadn't done such a great job at hiding. I turned slightly, staring over at the FX droid.

"The Commander needs assistance, nothing too serious. I think you can handle it." He was rolling away and I scurried after him. I rubbed at my eyes and combed my fingers through my hair. I was sure I looked like I had just rolled out of bed.

"Just a small cut." Poe was saying to General Organa as we approached.

"Here they are." General Organa nodded her head towards us, "Escort Commander Dameron to the med bay," She glanced up at him, "Shouldn't take long, it's only a small cut." She raised her eyebrows at him and Poe huffed slightly. I was trying not to stare at him, but I kept scanning him over. He had dried up blood adorning his forehead. That was the only thing that looked out of place. I looked over to the port, looking around to try and find Poe's x-wing. He had shown up on that unfamiliar ship?
The FX droid stayed behind, something about having a word with The General.

It wasn't until we were out of view, and in the shadows provided by the rooms that I spoke.

"You're okay." I took a deep breath in, looking over at him.

"I am," He nodded, smiling, "You're up late."

"I was being nosy." I chuckled quietly, "Good thing, I've missed you." Poe glanced behind us for a couple seconds before looking over at me. He pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly. I pulled away as discreetly as I could, he was hugging me a little too tightly. He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I was worried about you." I mumbled.

"I made it back in one piece." He gave me a weak smile. There was no denying that Poe looked worn out, I was somewhat bothered that I wasn't able to ask why.

I had Poe sitting in front of me, I was standing, inspecting the cut on his forehead.

"You won't need stitches." I pushed his hair back so that I could get a better look, "Let's clean it up, I don't think it's infected."

"Lucky me."

I walked over to the cabinet that was above the sink, grabbing a small cloth and small bandages. I rinsed my hands thoroughly.

"You look really cute." Poe whispered as I made my way back over to him.

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow, "Girls who look super sleepy and have bags under their eyes are your thing?"

"You're my thing." He winked. I shook my head at him, laughing softly. He grabbed both my arms, giving them a squeeze. I winced and took a step back.

"What?" He asked, worry etched itself across his face.

"Nothing." I waved him off, "I...I'm sore."

"From doing what?" He raised an eyebrow. His expression and tone were telling me that he knew I was lying. I could feel myself start to panic. I didn't know what to say.

"I don't know," I shrugged, I started to clean off the dried up blood, "I'm just sore." He sat perfectly still and he didn't say another word as I proceeded to clean his wound. I placed a small bandage over the cut, ruffling his hair to hide it. I disposed of the dirty cloth and went over to the sink to wash my hands. I could feel his eyes on me, I didn't know how I was going to get out of this one.

"You can go to your room." I turned around, leaning against the sink. "Your cut wasn't too bad, it should heal-"

"I can tell when you're lying," Poe interjected, "You won't make eye contact and you stutter."

"I-I'm not lying."

"You stuttered." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. Dammit.

"Well, I'm tired." I sighed, "I'm going to bed."

"What are you keeping from me?" He asked, he was staring at me intently. I shifted awkwardly. Fuck. Hurry up, come up with something. My mind was blank, I couldn't think of anything but the fact that I was screwed.

"Poe." I sighed deeply, "I...I'm tired."

"So am I." He stood up and walked over to me. He reached his arms out towards me, almost hesitantly. He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Why do you look so nervous?" He asked quietly, scanning my face for an answer.

"I'm not." I huffed. I was definitely nervous, my heart was beating rapidly.

"You can tell me anything." He slid his hands down, I tried not to wince. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms, I would have enjoyed the gesture any other day, but it was only causing my arms to ache.

"Ow." I whispered, I shrugged his hands off quickly, almost roughly.

"What's wrong, Isla?" He was cradling my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. "Are you hurt?"

"I want to go to room." I grabbed his hands and pulled them away from my face. I had managed to move away from, I wasn't going to do this right now.

"Hey," He grabbed hold of my wrist, "Did I do something?"

"You didn't do anything," I sighed deeply, "Let go." I couldn't over look his wounded expression. I didn't know what to do. I attempted to pull my wrist out of his grasp. It didn't do me any good, he was holding onto both my wrist and the sleeve of my cardigan. My trying to pull away had only caused my sleeve to expose the skin of my shoulder. I pulled even harder now, frantically.

He dropped my wrist, and I scowled as I shrugged my sleeve back into place. It had ended up exposing more of my skin, and I knew Poe had seen what I was trying so hard to hide.

"What was that?" He asked.

"I...I don't know." I shrugged.

"You do know." He sounded irritated.

"I got hurt."

"How?"

"I banged my arm into the wall?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I didn't sound the least bit convincing.

"Tell me the truth, Isla," He crossed his arms over his chest, "Now."