Every Once in a While

"Go on." He urged, "Explain."

"Why don't you explain that," I pointed to his injury, "Where's your x-wing? Where's BB-8? And why does it look like you've been rolling around in dirt?" I knew I had no right in asking, and I was positive I wouldn't get an answer. I thought it was worth a shot, it bought me some time.

"It was sand."

"Sorry," I smiled apologetically, "Sand."

"Isla, don't change the subject." He was clearly irritated now. He sighed deeply, "The past two days have been really shitty." Great,now I felt bad.

"Let's go to bed then?" I offered.

He shook his head, "Why are you keeping things from me?"

"I-I...I hurt my arm and I'm tired, I'm not keeping anything from you." The last part sounded pretty convincing in my opinion. It wasn't something I could be proud of, lying to your boyfriend wasn't a good thing.

"Can I see?" He asked, looking hopeful. Telling Poe wouldn't result in anything good. I assumed he wouldn't be too pleased with the news, but I was afraid he would be mad at me for not bringing it to anyone's attention.

"Okay, so I've been lying." It was like word vomit, I couldn't stop myself, "Just promise that you won't do anything drastic?" He was watching me closely, he nodded at me, indicating that he wanted me to go on.

"Promise?" I asked cautiously.

"No."

"Poe!" I anguished over how to keep going, should I choose my words carefully or just go on and blurt it out?

"You're worrying me." He replied quietly. He looked distressed and it only made me feel like an ass for lying to him in the first place. I looked away from him, I shrugged my cardigan off, setting it on the counter behind me.

"What the hell are those?" He asked quickly, he was in front of me in a matter of seconds. He took hold of my both my wrists, softly. He craned his neck to get a look at the back of my arms. "Banged your arm into a wall, huh? Your elbows, too?"

"I couldn't come up with a better excuse." I defended.

"And you were trying to keep this from me...because?" He sounded calm, but his face was displaying an infuriated expression. I had never seen Poe look so...mad. I was just hoping he wasn't mad at me.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I was trying to forget about it. If I told someone that would mean that it actually happened, you know?" I was trying to keep the conversation light for as long as I could. I swallowed hard, I could feel Poe's eyes on me. He moved my wrists slightly, so that he could get a better look.

"So," He was talking through gritted teeth, "How did this happen?"

"Uh.." I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of how Poe would react. I wasn't used to seeing him this way. I pulled my wrists out of his grasp. I reached up, resting my hands on his shoulders. I gave him a squeeze. It was so quiet that I was sure he could hear my heart thumping wildly in my chest. I shouldn't have ever left my room, or I should have buttoned my damn cardigan, then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.

"I was just sitting there..."I mumbled. I couldn't look at him, I buried my face into his chest. I sighed deeply and moved slightly so that it was my cheek that was resting against his body. "He grabbed me, it all just happened so fast." Another deep sigh, "I told him if he did it again...that I would say something. Don't be mad at me, okay? I didn't know what to do." I shut my eyes, awaiting his response.

"Who grabbed you?" He placed his hands on my lower back, hugging me into him. I pulled away slightly, allowing myself to look up at him.

"Can we go? It'll be light soon." I didn't exactly want to have this whole conversation in the med bay. He reached behind me and held my cardigan up so that I could slide my arms through. He didn't say anything, he grabbed my hand and lead the way out. There was no way I could do it, how was I supposed to tell him it was Noa? What would Poe do?

Poe didn't drop my hand when General Organa approached us, I tugged at my hand slightly, he wasn't budging. Us holding hands was much less embarrassing than having been caught half naked in Poe's room.

"We need to speak." She nodded at him, she glanced down at our hands for a moment before turning on her heel and making her way to the commanding building. Poe didn't drop my hand, we stood for a couple seconds in complete silence. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking but I couldn't open my mouth.

"Go get some sleep. I'll be over in the morning." He sounded demanding, and I couldn't argue with that. I could only nod.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked once he had let go of my hand. He glanced at me for a moment, he shook his head slowly.

"No. Should I be?"

"I don't want you to be," I responded, "I just know you'd want me to tell someone and I didn't."

"We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Don't you need sleep?" I asked.

"I'll sleep after." With that he began his way towards the direction General Organa had walked off to. I watched him until he was out of view. He said he wasn't mad at me, but I was sure he was a disappointed. I sulked off towards my room, I wasn't going to get any sleep no matter how tired I was. I was dreading the morning, I was afraid of how Poe would react. Minus the expressions, Poe didn't seem to be too mad. I just wanted this problem to go away, but I knew that it wouldn't be so easy. I hadn't even seen Noa yet, I wasn't sure if I could act as if nothing had happened.

I didn't think the way I had acted around Noa would cause him to act so harshly towards me. I was trying to not beat myself up over it. Okay, my remarks weren't very nice lately, but that didn't give him the right to touch me. I also couldn't beat myself up over the fact that I was nice to him when we had first met. I never intended to lead him on, but it wasn't my fault that he mistook my friendliness for flirting. Thinking back, there wasn't anything I could have done to have prevented this. I treated him nicely and I was called a tease, I made less than snarky remarks and he felt the need to put his hands on me. It sounded bad, I know it did. I was certain Poe wouldn't take the matter lightly. Geez, I shouldn't have taken the matter lightly. I could have told someone, maybe Noa wouldn't have been able to keep his job, maybe they would move me. I wasn't sure what the consequences might have been, but I was sure I was going to find out soon enough, now that Poe was involved.

I took a quick a shower, changing into a long sleeve shirt, mostly because I didn't want Poe to look a my arms again. I slipped my pants on and combed my hair into a neat pony tail. It was morning now, around the time I would be waking up for work. I sat at the kitchen nook, discreetly peeking out the window. I had managed to drink 4 cups of tea, maybe out of nervousness, maybe because I made myself believe that it calmed me down.

I was waiting, rather impatiently. I had a feeling Poe would show up any minute now. I decided another cup of tea wouldn't hurt. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, gripping the round mug with both hands. I looked around, deciding that my room could use some tidying up. I grabbed all my discarded clothes, which were mostly stacked on my desk chair; I walked into the bathroom and threw them into the clothes hamper. I washed the dishes in my sink and wiped down the kitchen counter. I made my bed, for the first time in years. I was never fond of making my bed, it never made much sense to me, what was the point if I would be getting into it by the end of the night.

I sat back down on my now made bed, drinking the rest of my not so warm tea. There was a knock on the door, and I had actually considered pretending to be asleep. It sounded like a good idea at the moment, but I couldn't avoid this forever. I stood up reluctantly, taking more than enough time making my way to the door. I opened the door slowly, peeking through the small open space. Poe seemed to have taken a shower, his hair was wet, and there wasn't anymore specks of dirt on his face. I moved slightly, opening the door wider. He walked in, slowly.

He still looked tired and I wanted to tell him that this could wait, that he should get some sleep. I knew it wouldn't happen so I kept my mouth shut.

"Did you get any sleep?" He asked, he sat on the silver desk chair. Swiveling so that he was facing me.

I shook my head, "Couldn't sleep." I sat on the edge of my bed, watching him.

"Right," He leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "Let's not beat around the bush here. Someone hurt you, yes or no?"

I gulped, I was hoping I could beat around the bush, that was my thing. I was semi-good at prolonging conversations, but maybe it was best to just get this one over with.

"Well," I started, "I wouldn't say I'm hurt."

His features hardened, "You have marks on your arm, Isla."

"Okay, fine. I'm not in any pain, though."

"Tell me who did it, please." It almost sounded as if he was begging.

"Why?" I asked, "It won't change anything."

It was quiet for a couple of awkward seconds, I was staring at him and he was staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking?" I asked quietly.

"I'm trying not to snap at you, Isla." He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Don't be mad."

"Don't be mad?" He scoffed loudly, followed by a dark chuckle, "My girlfriend tells me someone grabbed her, leaving visible marks, and she won't tell me who! But I shouldn't be mad."

Okay, he was mad. He was probably mad at me now, there wasn't any way around it. I had to tell him, or I would have to deal with an angry Poe.

"It was Noa," I said as clearly as I could, I didn't want to repeat myself, "Poe!" I exclaimed. He had gotten up, making his way to the door. I grabbed the sleeve of his sweater, holding on as tight as possible.

"Where are you going?" I asked quickly.

"Let me have a talk with him, Isla." He forced a smile, "Stay here."

"What?" I didn't let go, I grabbed hold of his hand, "No, don't talk to him." It was no use, Poe was much stronger than I was. He managed to get out of my grasp, he was out the door before I could even register what was happening.

"You can't hurt him." I whispered, running so that I was walking beside him, "You're the Commander. You'll get into-"

"Didn't I tell you to stay back?" He asked.

"I'm not letting you do anything stupid, Poe." I retorted. Poe was making his way towards the med bay, and I followed.

"Great, there he is." Poe grumbled. Oh shit. Noa was on the left side of the med bay, he was so close to making it in but then Poe shouted his name. I glanced around us, luckily there was no one around. Noa didn't seem too surprised as he looked over at us, he wasn't looking at Poe instead he had his eyes on me.

"You're just going to talk to him, right?" I ran over to Poe, I wanted to grab his hand but he didn't seem very friendly at the moment.

"I'm not in the mood for talking."

Fuck, this wasn't going to be good.