Every Once in a While

Jules sighed, dramatically. She was attempting to keep the sides of her mouth from turning upward, keeping her signature excited smile at bay. I watched her, raising my eyebrows and nodding to her to go on. I had felt slightly guilty for wanting to talk to Jules, especially about Poe. I could tell she was tired but Jules was too nice to complain. I had explained everything, and by the end I felt a bit silly about the whole thing. I was sure Jules was about to assure me that I was overreacting, and then she would add something about me going to Poe and asking him straight up.

"Isla, come on." Jules shook her head, "You're both mature adults. If Poe thought you were moving too fast, he would tell you. " I stayed silent. Jules scanned my face quickly, probably trying to figure out if I needed more convincing, "You and I both know your relationship is moving at a normal pace. Now, if you had come over and told me you were knocked up or getting married, then I would've definitely said you were moving too fast." I scowled at the thought of being 'knocked up'.

"Do you love him?" Jules asked, eyes wide in excitement. I stuttered, Jules had caught me off guard. I furrowed my brow, groaning softly.

"Jules." I groaned.

"I wanna know."

"I...I don't know. I don't ever know, when do you know when you love someone?"

"You just know."

I sighed, "I've always hated that response. I like Poe, I worry about Poe, if I wasn't with Poe, I'd be super bummed. I don't want to see him with anyone else. And I was so relieved when I saw him earlier today, because I really don't know what I'd do if something had happened to him. "

"If you don't love him now, you will soon." If I had ever come close to feeling an overwhelming love for Poe, it was earlier today. But I wasn't sure if it was due to the fact that I was so worried about him. Confusing one for the other didn't seem very smart.

"If it'll make you feel better, you should ask him if he thinks you're moving too fast. He's going to say no, and then I'll have to say 'I told you so'" She smiled.

"Will do." I smiled over at her. She walked me out. I was wondering if Poe was still caught up in Commander duties, but the light was on in his room, peeping through the blinds. I knocked, I was going to get this out of the way as quickly as possible. Like Jules, Poe also looked very tired. I felt guilty all over again. I didn't want to bother him, or keep him from sleep.

"Isla." He smiled. As soon as I walked into his room, Poe had me in his arms, holding me tightly, closely. I breathed him in, wrapping my arms around him. He still smelled like an x-wing; leather and engine.

"Can we talk?" My voice was muffled. He pulled away slightly, holding me at arms length. His eyebrows were furrowed, his expression was confused.

"What about?" He asked.

"I just have something to say." I shrugged. Poe grabbed my hands, pulling me over to his bed. Instead of just sitting he pulled me down until I was lying next to him.

"Go on." He pressed a kiss to my temple. Poe didn't ease up on the kissing, first he trailed soft kisses over my shoulder and onto my neck.

"Poe." I laughed, scooting away from him.

"I've missed you." Poe wrapped an arm around my waist, pinning me in place. "Sorry, guess you can't be kissed and talk at the same time." He smirked.

"And you can?"

"We can find out some other time," He chuckled, "What did you want to talk about?" He propped himself up on his elbow, he looked down at me with a smile. I had felt silly before but now I just felt like a complete idiot. I was so comfortable around Poe, right at this moment, I didn't have any doubts about our relationship. I couldn't speak for Poe, but I had a feeling he felt the same way.

Come up with something else to talk about.

It was too late, nothing was coming to mind. Poe was still looking down at me and I knew he could tell I was stalling.

"Is it something serious?"

I laughed, "No. It's something stupid." He relaxed a bit.

"Stupid?"

"Very. So silly that I should just forget about it entirely."

"But you've got my attention, you have to tell me now."

"Do I?" I asked, turning over so that I was propped up on my elbows, "Let's not talk." I wiggled my eyebrows.

"Tempting." He smiled. "We can do whatever you want, after you tell me."

"I knew you were going to say something like that." I huffed. It was quiet for a couple of seconds, mostly because I was consumed by embarrassment. I groaned loudly, dramatically, earning a laugh out of Poe.

I took a deep breath, prepared to get it all out in one sentence. "I was talking to Elliot, and then I was wondering whether you thought we were moving too fast. Jules said I was being silly, she's probably right." I wasn't sure if Poe had heard me correctly since I mumbled all my words together.

"Moving too fast?"

I nodded firmly. I knew my cheeks had turned pink, I buried my face into the covers, groaning lowly.

"You think that I think we're moving too fast?" Poe asked, I looked up at him.

"It was on my mind, yeah."

"Jules is definitely right." He smiled.

"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You're being silly." He kissed the top of my head. "We're fine. If I thought we were moving too fast, I'd let you know." I stayed quiet, slightly still embarrassed.

"Forget all about this, okay?" I was practically begging.

"It's sort of cute," He chuckled, "What would you have done if I said I thought we were moving too fast?"

"Back off." I shrugged.

"I don't want that." He tilted my head up so that our lips could meet comfortably.

The next couple seconds were a bit messy. We clumsily discarded of our clothes, while trying not to break our kiss for too long.

"You're not going to think we're moving too fast after this, right?" He pulled away from me. I grasped his shoulders to try and steady myself.

"Are you trying to be funny?" I blushed. "I told you to forget about that!"

"I'm just teasing." He laughed.

"Gonna keep making fun of me or are you gonna do me?"

"Isla," He shook his head laughing, "That mouth of yours." I thought getting naked in front of Poe again would be awkward, that I might still feel somewhat unsure. But not this time, I hadn't even thought about it once. The marks on my arm had faded down, not entirely but just enough. Poe paid no mind to them and neither did I. I also couldn't concentrate on much other than Poe, on how great he looked, or how he was exceptionally good with his tongue. I tried to stay as still as possible, but whenever Poe's tongue rolled over that small bundle of nerves I couldn't help but squirm or tighten my legs around his head. I was also trying to keep my noises down, most of the rooms on the base were close together, and I definitely didn't want anyone to hear me.

"No, I just want to be inside you."

"Are you sure?" I asked, I was going to return the favor but Poe wasn't having it.

"Positive." His eyes gleamed in the dull light that filled the room. Maybe I was just lust filled, but I kept thinking that Poe had never looked so handsome before. Just the sight of him was making my heart flutter. I scooted closer up to Poe,

"Can I be on top?" I asked.

"Oh, god." He groaned, "I don't know if I'm going to be able to last very long if you're on-" I straddled his lap, looking down at him. I glanced further down, between us. I pulled myself higher, giving my hand enough room to grab his member and guide it inside of me. I rested my other hand on his bare chest for support. I went slow, trying to savor the moment.

"You're going to think... I'm moving too fast." Poe breathed out, moving his hands up and taking hold of my hips.

"What?" I asked, biting at my lip as he moved all the way inside. I set my hands on my thighs, opening my eyes back up to look down at him. "What are you talking about?" It was hard to talk, and way harder to form a full sentence. Poe didn't respond so I proceeded to move.

"What I'm gonna...say." He groaned. It felt too good to stop now, and something about Poe struggling over his words was satisfying.

"Can't have sex and talk at the same time?" I teased. He chuckled, looking directly into my eyes. I smiled down at him. His grip on my hips tightened, I was sure he would leave marks.

He breathed out, "I love you, Isla."