Every Once in a While

I wouldn't say that I wanted to see Noa, I just expected that I would at least have caught a glimpse of him by now. The med bay wasn't exceptionally big nor was it small, maybe he was just super busy? Seeing Noa would be nothing but awkward but I had wanted to get it over with. I didn't want to come into work everyday and feel uneasy. I was hoping we could get past this and at least be cordial while we were at work.

I left work that night, feeling as if nothing was really resolved. I had told Jules that I would go over to her room after work and now I wasn't feeling up for it. I forced myself to go anyways, I was going to spill everything. That would make me feel just a tiny bit better, right? I knocked on her door, not waiting long. Jules opened the door with a huge smile on her face, her happy demeanor was contagious. I had a smile on my face, just like the one on Jules'. My mood instantly brightened.

I started from the beginning, making sure not to leave anything out. Jules listened patiently, her cheek resting in her palm, looking highly interested. I had finished my story and sat back, taking a big gulp of the tea that Jules had set in front of me half way through.

"Okay, okay." She shook her head, "You're going out with the commander?"

"Well," My tone sounding highly conflicted, "No."

"No?" She perked up in her seat, "So you make out with him for fun?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me. Was it just for fun? I didn't expect Poe to ask me out, but now I wasn't sure if we were on the same page. Great.

"Do you think he's just doing it for fun?" I asked, reaching up to rub my face with both my hands, groaning softly. How come I hadn't thought of this before? Oh great, one more thing to stress over.

"I don't know," Jules shrugged, "You should've asked him." She looked apologetic, "Ask him now."

"He's only a couple rooms away." She added.

I shook my head, "I'm not going to ask him, it's going to make me seem crazy." If Poe was only kissing me for fun, he would definitely think I was crazy if I went over to knock on his door and asked him to explain what 'this' was. He said he liked you. That doesn't really mean anything, I've liked people before and not had wanted to be in a relationship. Okay, so would just messing around for fun be so bad? No, but you want more, I blushed at the thought.

"You'll have to eventually." Jules said, she was right. I just figured I didn't have to do it right at this moment, "So is he a good kisser?" Jules nudged me.

"Jules!" I laughed.

"I just can't believe it. Why didn't you tell me sooner? This is so juicy." Her smile faltered, "Who would've thought that you would have two guys fighting for your affection." She smiled teasingly.

"They aren't fighting over me, Jules." I grumbled. "I haven't seen Noa all day. Maybe he's going to steer clear of me from now on." Jules scoffed loudly, she was shaking her head vigorously.

"Isla, come on. From what you've just told me, he isn't going to back off. The guy likes you...and he's weird so you should be the one who steers clear of him." I looked at her apprehensively, not wanting to believe her. She could be right but I felt better thinking that she had no clue what she was talking about. I was starting to think I was the only one who thought Noa would back off. The rest of the evening was spent with Jules pestering me about Poe's kissing skills. Once I had told her, she moved on to pester me about going over to his room and talking things through.

"Go, please!" She begged, "I'm starting to think I want to know more than you do." I laughed slightly, going over what could happen if I went over to his room.

"What am I supposed to say?" I asked slowly. Her eyes brightened up, the signature Jules' smile reappearing. Jules and I had never discussed the topic of guys before, so it was only now that I was finding out that the topic excited Jules. She had told me sternly that I needed to go over and the first sentence out of my mouth had to 'What exactly are we doing? What are we?'. I protested, thinking it sounded a little too extreme.

"Fine," She rolled her eyes playfully, "Make out and then when you're done ask him, that simple." She had stood up quickly, grabbing me by my wrists and pulling me up. "Are you kicking me out, Jules?" I asked as she geared me towards her door.

"That's right." She nodded, opening the door. I was standing opposite of her, she was leaning against her door frame smiling. "Don't look so bummed out. I wanna hear all about it tomorrow morning. Have fun." She winked. She had actually closed the door, in my face. I sighed loudly, hoping she would hear. I saw the blinds move and she appeared in the window, "Go!" She mouthed. I rolled my eyes as dramatically as I could before I turned away from her. Now, here I was, once again. In front of Poe's door, deciding whether or not to knock. I stood still for a couple seconds, I had already seen him earlier today, would showing up now seem odd? Would it seem too excessive?

I knocked, standing up straight, hoping I looked just a tiny bit assertive. I was going to ask and it would probably end with me kissing Poe, no matter what his response was.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I sighed once he opened the door. He was making this hard for me, really hard.

"I don't sleep with a shirt on?" He explained in a questioning manner. "What's-"

"I need to ask you something." I interrupted quickly, looking away from him...and his shirtless body. He moved over so that I could walk in. "Sorry for showing up unannounced." I said once he shut the door.

"I don't mind, not one bit." He smiled.

"So," I nodded, trying to look at anything but his chest, "Are we messing around for fun?" There, nice and quick. He looked confused, scrunching up his face.

"Is that what you want?" He asked softly.

"Is it what you want?" I retorted, "I would like to know."

"No, I don't want that," He started making his way towards me, "I want you." He reached up to rest his hand on my shoulder, his thumb rubbing small circles on my neck. "I want you all to myself." My breath hitched, and my insides turned to mush.

"Unless you want to mess around for fun, I can do that, too." He added quickly, biting at his bottom lip.

"I don't want that." I shook my head, staring up at him. He looks so kissable.

"Good." He pulled away from me, "It's late, Isla. I-I...And you...I have to be up early tomorrow." He stammered cutely.

"Okay." I nodded. He kissed the top of my head before I walked out.

The next morning, Jules had showed up at my door, bringing warm beverages and cookies. She sat quietly as I explained what had happened. She looked smug once I had finished, leaning back on her chair and giving me an 'I told you so' look.

"He's so handsome, Isla. Everyone's going to be so jealous." She moved around in her seat excitedly, "I gotta go or your boyfriend won't be too happy with me." She winked.

"He isn't my boyfriend, Jules."

She grabbed her jacket, slipping it on, "He practically is. He's going to ask you, it's obvious." I sighed at her, walking her over to the door and letting her out.

Work was work, it was long and tiring. We were dealing with more than enough patients today and I was the one who had to check in on them every hour, or whenever they required my assistance. I was staring down at my desk, drumming my fingers absentmindedly. Someone walked into the room and I knew it had to Noa, the droids always came into rooms loudly, you could hear the faint rolling or clicking of their tires.
I didn't look up, I went rigid, not knowing what to expect. I stared blankly at the papers in front of me for a moment before going back to work. I was hoping that I had actually looked as if I was busy and that I had been doing my work this whole time.

"Isla." I turned slowly, looking up at him. "Can we talk?" A part of me wanted to, just to get it over with, just so that things could go back to way they were before Noa got here. Another part of me wanted to say 'no, it's lunch time, can we talk after?'. I didn't answer, making a humming noise softly, thinking over my options.

"Alright." I gathered my papers and slipped them into a folder, placing it in the center of my desk. I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't wan't to look at him, it felt too awkward.

"Go ahead." I said.

"I guess I don't understand. I thought we were on the same page." I finally looked at him, furrowing my brows. I thought he was going to apologize, or say something along the lines of an apology. I cleared my throat, buying myself some time. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. A droid rolled in, conversing with Noa. I closed my eyes for a moment, wondering if I could get away with leaving. I stood up, walking out the room, and then I realized I didn't grab my jacket. Of course, Noa made note to bring it out to me. I was standing outside the med bay, waiting for him to walk over. I reached out, grabbing my jacket and slipping it on.

"It's lunchtime." I mumbled.

"I know, this won't take long." Noa replied, sticking his hands into his doctor's coat pockets. "I don't know," He shrugged, "I didn't feel as if you ever tried to prevent my advances."

I shook my head, "Noa, I didn't know what to say!" I scoffed loudly, "I don't reciprocate your feelings, it was all a misunderstanding."

He raised an eyebrow, "Because of someone else?" I sighed, I wasn't going to say Poe. Jules was the only person who knew and I trusted that she wouldn't go around and tell anyone else. I don't know what Noa would do with the news if I told him the truth.

"That doesn't matter," I replied sternly, "I just don't....feel the same way. I don't want things to be weird for us at work, can't we just forget it?"

"I thought you were playing hard to get." He stated, ignoring my statement completely. I wasn't so uneasy now, I was irritated. I wanted him to get the point, to move on. I wanted to forget all about our ordeal.

"I'm not." I said dully, "Please, can we just forget about it?"

He shrugged a shoulder, "I gotta go back in. Enjoy your break." I watched him, glaring slightly. That wasn't the answer I was hoping for. Did that conversation even resolve anything? I groaned internally, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. "Dammit." I said softly, walking back into the med bay to grab my lunch bag. I wasn't assertive enough. I should have said I was never playing hard to get, I just genuinely didn't have any feelings for him. It would have been smart to add that we should keep our conversations work-related. Of course, everything that I should have said only came to me once it was too late. I grabbed the small bag and walked back outside, walking off to the side of the med bay.

"Care if I join you? Jules gave me cookies," Poe dangled the small bag of cookies in the air, "Said I had to share."

I laughed, "Sure." Poe sat next to me and threw the bag onto my lap, leaning his head back onto the wall. I looked over at him for a second, examining his features. "You're dirty." I mumbled, reaching over to try and wipe the side of his face.

"Repairs." He smiled, "Is it bothering you?"

I shook my head, "How are you doing repairs?" I softly touched the arm that was still covered in a bandage. He looked down at my hand and reached over with his uninjured hand and laced our fingers together. His hand was warm which made me smile, I was always so cold in the med bay. My hands always felt like ice.

"I still got one good hand. My other hand is starting to feel better, it's my arm that's been bothering me." He squeezed my hand. I met his eyes, I wanted to do nothing other than kiss him but I didn't think it was a good idea since we were out in the open, in the middle of the day.

"What are you thinking?" He questioned quietly, looking down at me.

I blushed, laughing slightly, "Oh, nothing."

"Yeah?" He smirked. "You keep glancing at my lips."

"I do not!" I scoffed, taking my hand out of his quickly. I wasn't even aware I was looking at his lips. I wasn't going to deny it to myself, I was probably looking at his lips but I would never admit that, not to him.

"You don't have to lie." He whispered into my ear. I shivered involuntarily, his breath tickling my neck. He stood up quickly, startling me. "Let's go to your room." He reached out a hand, extending it towards me.

"Why?" I asked, smiling brightly. I knew very well why he wanted to go to my room. "I'm hungry." I picked up the bag of cookies, ready to open them.

"I don't have all day, Isla." He sighed impatiently. I kept smiling, taking a bite of the cookie.

"For what?" I asked.

"Isla," He groaned, "You can eat after, let's go." I grabbed his hand, letting him help me up. I grabbed my stuff and scurried after him, he was a couple feet in front of me by the time I had all my things together.

"Why are you walking so fast?" I huffed, a little out of breath. He grabbed my hand, so that we were walking at the same speed. I glanced around us, searching to see if there was anyone around.

"I haven't kissed you in so long," We were in front of my door now, "Hurry up, open the door." I obliged, smiling to myself.